Transgender women celebrate thanksgiving

Thanksgiving. A time to contemplate our blessings, to appreciate the bearers of those blessings and fill our hearts with love for them. This Thanksgiving I want to share with you one person I’m most grateful to. Someone who, in all likelihood, will leave the title I have come to know her by in the coming months. I want to share a story of thanks to my soulmate, my wife, and soon to be sister.

Your love for me survived the challenges of years and oceans apart,
Yet still it was tested before our nuptial when I shared the dark truth I knew.
I called it crossdressing, and through your tears and apprehension,
You loved me still. You married me still, and sailed across the oceans to be with me.

To a strange land where you had few friends and no family,
To a strange man you thought you had known, but now were wondering.
You steeled your courage and saw my first, feeble attempts at femininity,
You loved me still. You stood by me still, and in your pain you made room for me.

As the glow of honeymoon turned to the realities of marriage,
You opened a part of yourself to me, a part few had seen.
Amidst your shy and introverted nature you found the fortitude to talk about Vanessa,
You loved me still. You sought to understand me, and in your confusion gazed into mine.

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As the toil turned to slog, and your hopes of curing me faded,
You sought to carve out a place for yourself in my heart alongside Vanessa.
Yet there was no need of that, for you are my heart and she is the body I am,
You loved me still. Your tears and frustrations cried silently into the cold night.

You looked towards the dim path of our future, of children I yearned for you did not,
And perhaps with wisdom of the prescient spared a young child from the turmoil to come.
You sat by my side through hours of laser hair removal, holding my hand and buoying my spirits,
You loved me still. You could see my journey proceed onward yet your never left my side.

You saw my one last attempt at freedom from this life, my gnashing and struggle,
Perhaps, in your heart of hearts you prayed it would work, you prayed for my deliverance.
But it wasn’t to be, I emerged from the desert of self-denial eager to drink of the water of life,
You loved me still. You watched as your husband gave up fighting against the person God had made.

You saw the gradual weeks roll over to months as my journey of self discovery continued,
Each step along the way must have torn you inside. The hair, the clothes, the makeup, the writing.
I could see your deep sadness, and that gave pause to the song I had prepared so long to sing,
You loved me still. You knew where the journey would take me, and what it would mean for you.

Your strength was there, even to the final days as you met the gender counselor with me,
You sat in the Doctor’s office with me as she prescribed my first round of hormones.
You went above and beyond what could be expected of a wife, you steadied my spirit,
You loved me still. You dried my tears even when yours should have flowed furrows in your face.

Without you I would not be who I am today.
Without you I would not have had the courage to be myself.
Without you my soul would have shriveled and died in a cowards impotent self-pitying cry.
Without you the journey of my life would be untraveled.

Darling, you have been my rock and my foundation.
You have held me when I would not have held myself.
You have caught me, and cuddled me even when it hurt you.
You have been my love, my strength and my constant companion.

You have helped give birth to Vanessa, and for that words are insufficient to convey the depth of my joyous gratitude.
I love you, my sister, for pouring your life into mine.

Thank you.


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I’m passionate about creating a safe space for everyone in the transgender community to find laughter and friendship on their journey. I completed my physical transition in 2011 and through it I lost everything, and gained everything. I am blessed that I was forced to gaze inward and embark on the journey to discover and live my authentic self. My deepest wish is that all who wander here may find peace, happiness and freedom.

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Petra Bellejambes
Petra Bellejambes
13 years ago

Apt post Vanessa for Thanksgiving. You have many blessings.

Thanks for sharing.

13 years ago

Its difficult to write somthing that has such deep meaning and thought. I have to be in just the right moon for such thoughts to pour out. Even when I'm in the right mood its difficult to put the proper thoughts into words. Beautifully said. Congratulations our your moving composition..

Anne R
Anne R
13 years ago

What an unbelievably beautiful piece of writing in the midst of so much struggle. Vanessa, your portrayal of this lady, and more so the lady herself, deserves a high place indeed. I acknowledge her as a true heroine and woman of faith, and would be honored to meet her some day.

13 years ago

Truly beautiful and a telling tale of your struggle and the ones that you not only carried with you but who carried you through it.


13 years ago

One of the most beautiful posts I have ever read. Thank you for the smiles and the tears, hon. 🙂

Cynthia Elaine
7 years ago

Your “SONG", beautifully written for your wife. Has brought tears to my eyes as I read it,
and while I am writing my comment on it I still have those tears in my eyes. You and your wife are two of the most beautiful people that I hope to meet some day.

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