Do you feel trapped?

Powerless to rearrange your life in such a way that a whole lot more days start with a smile than do now?

I tell you from my own personal experience that you are so much more powerful than you can yet imagine. I will explain that statement as well because you my friend, even though reading this you might scoff in total disbelief, are simply voicing my own sentiments on this topic less than a couple of decades ago.

When I had reached a point of the fourth unsuccessful attempts to leave the planet and my body, I began to nurture the idea that there must be a reason I sucked at suicide! So, I began researching, reading, watching, and listening to anything I could find that might lead me to the illusive truth that would set me free! I read scientific stuff, biblical stuff, wayyyy outside the box stuff, and some right in front n center.

The idea of intentionally and consciously creating my life was a big-ass joke to me. Seriously, and then, one day, and I have no conscious memory of much of that event but what I do remember is I heard a phrase that poked me a little. I invite you to suspend your disbelief for a little while; by a little while I mean, you decide how long but I urge you to give it an honest and sincere go.


Making a new choice

I had made a new choice in that moment and I decided to suspend my disbelief of this possibility for a period of six months, not a day more; I decided to go all in and really with a sincere heart give this concept full acceptance as “possible” for that entire six months. I reasoned the six-month period because honestly, I didn’t think I would last that long. I have always appeared to be an optimistic person on the outside and have at times been dark n twisty on the inside.

It all began with me standing at the big dining room window looking out over our beautiful space. We have created a large pond and sand beach that I call paradise during the summer months. I imagined seeing three tiny yellow butterflies fluttering by together. Day after day I would stand there for 10 minutes or so, looking out through the big window, then closing my eyes and seeing them flutter by. Then open my eyes and watch, with high expectation.

Weeks past, then months, and each day it was more challenging to muster those high excited emotions I was taught to insight. But I re-imagined the three tiny yellow butterflies going by. It was just after the three-month mark when my mouth fell open in silence. There, fluttering by outside that big window was three tiny, yellow, beautiful butterflies. Now many would say, meh, that is as common was dogs at a dog park.

That blew my mind

True but this was November in Saskatchewan Canada. There was a fingers length depth of snow on the ground; three inches roughly, and it was a very chilly fall day. I had never seen a butterfly here in November before; that blew my mind and a paradigm shift took place in that moment. I “changed” my mind. Something inside me said, whoa!! MAYBE it IS possible, wholly crap; what if this stuff works, like for real?

I asked myself a new question; instead of asking what have I got to lose, I refocused my mind and asked, what have I got to gain, if it works, what have I got to gain…and so it began. . .

This week, I invite you hit the reset button and suspend your disbelief; in yourself, in your skills and abilities, and your natural yet untapped power and possibility.

I mean, what have you got to gain, if it works?

Thank you for reading Your Weekly Reset and thank you so much for being exactly who you are!

Remember my sisters, you deserve to feel happy. . .



EnFemme Style

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Dropping out of high school I began touring in the Canadian country music scene at age 17; clubs and soft seat venues, drummer/vocalist for 22 years. After 4 suicide attempts and heavy cocaine etc addiction issues, i decided to learn Self-Acceptance as apposed to self-hatred. I became a student of the Universe and an Instructor of Life Skills at a local College while operating a Private Coaching Practice. Currently, I am rebuilding the Life Coaching practice after a couple years of more personal work well under way. I am also creating online opportunities that will serve our world community…and our world in understanding how the learned life skills of Intentionally and Consciously Creating an Amazing Life have filled my life with Passion, Purpose and Prosperity and they can for you as well... Namaste'

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karley delaware
3 years ago

Hi Char. This is karley. Your “little sister" that likes to listen to you when you come home from the “College of Life". I imagine it this way to heal a painful and lonely past and replace it with positive experiences. Thanks again for helping girls like me. what you write sometimes “rolls around" in my head for awhile then an “aha" moment comes and all is good! karley

karley delaware
3 years ago
Reply to  Char

Char……………YOU ARE MY BIG SISTER…..I’m crying…..THANK YOU!!!! Hugs………karley

3 years ago

Hi Char you are my big sister your stories are help full as I have had a very stress full time over the past 11 years and not had much confidence in my self but been trying to cope with my stress as much I can and not been able to do much on my own as yet mankind thanks Bruce/brucelina your little sister

Travis Notsaying
3 years ago

So I’m waiting to try and dress up and see how I feel about it, I’m talking makeup panties and in order to do that I kinda want to know where to start, I don’t have any friends that do and I’m a little lost, any time I’m alone and have panties and a skirt I wear them and it makes me feel so amazing not to mention aroused I just wish I had some friends that would teach me how and let me be around them dressed up. So I could build up my confidence and see if it… Read more »

skippy1965 Cynthia
Trusted Member
3 years ago

Like my own dad , I am a big believer in the power of positive thinking. Far more often than not you get what you expect. If you go out fearful that everyone will laugh and ridicule you, then often you will act in such a way that draws negative attention to you. Conversely, if you go boldly with confidence and a smile, you will either blend into the scenery/background or -even better i my opinion, you will find people smiling back and treating you well and as though you belong ..which of course is TRUE! It’s not 100 %… Read more »

Last edited 3 years ago by skippy1965 Cynthia
Active Member
3 years ago

Sadly l do feel stuck and locked in position with little chance of change as long as the present situation with Covid-19 continues putting every medical appointments and procedures on hold. To get any much further in my wish to transition, I need to see a licenced gender therapist. In Sweden, as in most of Europe and many other countries around the world, that means being put on a waiting list for a seriously under staffed and under funded gender clinic run under NHS, as no private alternatives in this area of health care are allowed. I will also need… Read more »

Thomas Wade
3 years ago

I feel trapped bigger than heck. I know I’m not gonna the next Raquel Welch. I’m stuck in a place where no one understands.. what to. Just cry once in a while. Don’t know. My breast are now 38c and gonna be d in a while. Just asking for a little advice. Thank you

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