You know the funny thing about the story of Cinderella is that at midnight the spell is over. Everything goes back the way it was, and only that which was left behind exists…the glass slipper. The question for most of us is when does midnight strike? Is when we get tired of dressing and the blue undertow comes in? Is it when our significant other puts her foot down and says enough femme time, you need to pay attention to me? Is it even a defined time, or could it be an action that puts an end to the pink cloud?
There are two key ingredients to this narrative. What is the trigger, and what is left behind? I’m sure most of us have at one time or another used a “forced feminization” narrative, which could include being put under spell by a fairy, however, that spell only comes to an end when something else acts upon us. We know there really are no such things as fairies that are 12 inches tall and fly around with a magic wand in their hand.
Some of us are fortunate that we go out en femme and enjoy that side. We can move, act, and behave like our feminine alter ego. For those lucky ones, there may not be that stroke of midnight that comes along, but only a gradual coming down from a euphoria created by the endorphins released during the thrill of that outing. For the exercise fanatics, it’s like that positive feeling you get after a good work out. There is a sense of relaxation, confidence, and contentment.
What gets left behind? There are some forums on CDH that speak to those items left behind by accident and is found by wives, significant others, friends, or other family members. They could be undergarments, jewelry, makeup, skirts, dresses, or even shoes…you know…the glass slipper. But there are other things intentionally left to remind us of our inner self. The painted toenails, the under-dressing, or the pictures left behind on CDH. All little clues we leave behind to try on to get back to that mystical place we enjoy so much, and not have to spend time with the ugly stepsisters.
Well by now, you must be thinking, what’s the point to this story? Surely Lisa, you know we know about Cinderella, and we certainly know about our desires for women’s attire. What are you getting at? I knew you were all smart ladies, and I am hoping you can help me.
See, I’m not one of the lucky ones that can just go out and “be Lisa”. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there’s the whole courage issue to get over. That is somewhat of a roadblock, but not my only one, and please believe me, I get the urge to want to go out as Lisa. In the privacy of my own surroundings, I can be Lisa with the feminine movements, behavior, you name it…well not the voice yet (still have to work on that). Lisa is very sweet just as Cinderella was in her story.
Then comes midnight; it’s when someone sees me. My wife has seen me many, many times. That’s not the same, it becomes more of a fetish time thing, but not the same. I’m not Lisa. I have also been to a couple of transformation “artists”. The first time was a negative experience with a gg. She thought it was something she did wrong, but it was me. The second artist I went to twice and was quite happy with her as she has taken many pictures of Lisa following each makeover. One of the photos she took of me is my profile pic here on CDH and still one of my all-time favorites! I have to brighten that photo up a bit and make it lighter, brighter and easier to see. However, as much as she worked with me, and I do love her work, I still didn’t feel like Lisa.
What is left behind? What is left behind is my male persona standing there in drag. I don’t get the same euphoria, the same contentment as I do when I am alone and I’m Lisa. Each scenario is different, but in each, I am not Lisa. Even under-dressing doesn’t work as intended; I either forget about it (may mean it feels natural?) or makes me feel like a man in women’s underwear. Not the desired feeling I am looking to achieve. Is it an issue of not coming to an inner peace with who I am on the inside? Is my male persona so ingrained and so strong that Lisa cannot break though? How do I find that glass slipper that will allow me that freedom that so many of us seek?
—————————————————————————————-
When, in your process of the thrill of cross dressing, do you feel the greatest sense of euphoria which I’ve mentioned above in my article?
On your very first night out totally en femme, did you experience strong feelings of confidence, self-assuredness, and overall happiness and well-being at the end of that first night out as Cinderella felt at the ball?
If midnight struck for you…where did you find your glass slipper?
—————————————————————————————-
Thank you all for reading my article and please feel free to send in a response to my article or one or more of the questions I’ve posed to you above!
Love and Hugs to you all!
Sincerely, Lisa
Thank you Lisa for a wonderful article. I am looking forward to a night out but don’t believe that will happen for a while. I’m 6.1 also and have only been in the sunshine as Bree 4 times. Bree is more on the terror side when out but still exciting. I had a full blown panic attack in the ladies restroom at a rest stop in Illinois. (Not so panicked that I couldn’t grab a selfie though). I believe the confidence will come in time. After I get rid of the nagging doubts I am looking forward to the beautiful… Read more »
Hi Bree,
Glad you enjoyed the article and I appreciate you sharing your experience. I am terrified to go out as Lisa as well and any time I was remotely close, I don’t feel like Lisa; I just feel like my male self in drag. Hopefully we both can move on and be able to share in the experience so many other have!
Hugs,
Lisa
Hi Lisa, Thought provoking Article. Thank you for writing it. I can feel your inner struggle in your words. I can understand the alone time as Lisa being your best time. My first night out was in 1995. I was terrified before leaving the safety of the makeup artist Salon into the busy parking lot walking to my car parked in the multi level parking garage; however the terror was matched with excitement. I never felt more alive. I wore 4″ inch heels, mini skirt, black pantyhose and a white top. I’m 6’2″…I guess I wasn’t trying to blend in.… Read more »
Gabrielle,
Thank you for reading and recognizing my struggle! Sharing your experience is so important because I feel if I can get past this point, I can share in the euphoria as well. Thank you for your encouragement!
Hugs,
Lisa
Thank you for the great article. I have ventured out as Paula a few times. The thrill of riding in the elevator with other people and being treated as a lady was increadable. The joy and exitment of that first night still overwhelms me. The sales clerks chatting with me and commenting on my necklace, my nails, being called Ma’am. I know GG’s hate it but I love it. so i guess the glass slipper for me is the memory. The more i dress out in public the less special it feels, that first time was such a high and… Read more »
Hi Paula,
Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment! I am hoping someday to have the glass slipper be the memory, something inside me that I can take. For now, I can’t escape being that man in drag, and hopefully I can get on that elevator just like you did!
Hugs,
Lisa
Great article Lisa. I wish I could provide a great experience out of the closet, but right now the door is stuck. However, I do experience that rush of endorphins when crossdressing. Interestingly enough, I felt that high after my last makeover for the rest of the night. Partly because the artist was so successful in making look so real that I finally believed in the possibilities that I did not have after my very first makeover. Yes, I hope someday we can get out and feel like ourselves. Baby steps I guess for us girlfriend. Great job.
Hugs
Abby
Hi Abigail,
Thank you for reading and commenting on my article! You and I are searching for that same glass slipper! Someday, but for now you are right…baby steps 🙂
Hugs,
Lisa
Thanks lisa I couldn’t of said it better
And that’s from a true Girlfriend
And from one ❤ to another ❤
We will get where we want to be
Love Peace and Respect
Kelly Ann
Thanks Lisa for sharing that Beautiful and deeply moving article your girlfriend
Kelly Ann❤
Hi Kelly Ann,
Thank you for your kind words! Do you have a glass slipper?
Hugs,
Lisa
Just a wonderful article Lisa. Thank you so much for sharing with us all. Inner peace with who I am, after so many years knowing I’m a dresser, yet that alludes me. I still have many moments of shame. That is my issue, can’t seem to get over this bit of shame I feel. It’s so hard.
Anyhow, thanks for sharing dear.
❤️❤️❤️ brianna
Hi Brianna,
You and I share many of the same issues. Someone else has told me that once you achieve that inner peace, accept both the male and female realities of who you are, the male ego won’t get in the way. (I’m paraphrasing, but…) Maybe we both can get there and we can step out without the fear of forgetting who we are! Thank you for reading and commenting!
Hugs,
Lisa
Hi Lisa, it’s Scarlett and finally getting around to answer your question about finding my glass slipper. I found my glass slipper about two weeks before my wife and I moved into this dream home of ours about two and a half years ago. It was then, I decided to sit my wife down and have “The Talk" about my thrill of cross dressing. And it took me several years to get up the balls to have that awkward feeling talk with her. I’ve written a well read article about “The Talk" and how you should have it and what… Read more »
Hi Scarlett, Thank you for sharing your “glass slipper" history. As I have shared with you before, you write with such confidence, that it is obvious that you are comfortable with who you are, albeit your masculine or your feminine side. Finding that moment when you had no secrets from the “love of your Life" is a shiny glass slipper indeed, and that is special! Fortunately for me, I told my wife before she was my wife, and very early on in our relationship, so our glass slippers differ. I am probably as confident as you on the masculine side,… Read more »
I’ll be so happy to hear the day or night when Lisa Fox finds her glass slipper!
Love you, Lisa! XOXOXO Scarlett
" Is it an issue of not coming to an inner peace with who I am on the inside? "
BINGO – YOU need to accept YOU for who you are! I came to that realization (with the help of my counselor) about 4 years ago. Now I am fine and know Cyn is a big part of what makes me the person I am and I LIKE that person.
Cyn
Hi Cynthia,
I love the bingo! I am curious if it was any one thing your counselor said or did, and I fully understand if you don’t feel comfortable sharing. I appreciate you taking the time to read, respond and offer advice!
Hugs,
Lisa
Hi Lisa i really enjoyed reading your article. It very well written an easy understood. I am not sure when I stopped seeing the man in drag i hated that image, I think the image changed when i started accepting who i am. I only see a woman that needs to lose a few pounds and what ever excess weight needs to be shifted from waist to lower part. I need a whole lot of work that is for sure. but that is ok with me most woman feel the same way. My slipper is now right were i left… Read more »
Hi Stephanie,
Thank you for your kind words, sharing your story and advice. You certainly were able to go further than I have! I have never been to a support group or club as I have it in my mind I will feel like a man sitting there in drag, and I understand hating that image. My wife has always been supportive, so at least I have that going for me :). Your advice , like the other ladies here about acceptance and how it will free my mind I believe is spot on.
Hugs,
Lisa
Hi Lisa You got it now! do not let it go. Acceptance came so hard for me. I believed what society and what i was told. The way i felt had to be wrong. I did not have the body not even close. No matter what i put on i saw a man wearing fem cloths. It is my wife that wants the female to come out. She likes Stephanie not so much the clothes more the attitude and the natural thought process that i have been rejecting. She knows one is not coming without the other. That is what… Read more »
Great article! I get an amazing euphoric thrill from dressing, but it’s in private. I know myself well enough that my hardwired genetics would freeze up Susie like ice with self-consciousness in public, or even around another person. What I get from it will always be best in private. Part of it is the fantasy is never questioned in private. There is nothing to contradict how I feel and what I see of myself when I’m dressed. But add a mirror and I deflate. I don’t live up to how I wish I looked. So – no mirrors when I… Read more »
Thanks Susie!
I appreciate you reading and sharing our common dilemma. It sounds like you are content with just going this far, which if it makes you happy, that is great. From what I have heard here, the next step sounds so euphoric, I would like to be able to get beyond that hard-wiring we share. Who knows? Maybe?
Hugs,
Lisa