Since the start of Esprit I’ve spent more than half of the time as Vanessa. I’ve gone out, gone shopping, met people and generally just carried on about the business of life as a woman every other week. Yet in a few weeks this will change. I start my new job soon, and my time en femme will become much more limited – at least until I go full time, which is still a 9-12 months away.
This got me thinking, what does it mean to live “part time” as a woman? Are there a certain number of days each week you need to spend en femme to qualify as a part time woman? Or does it have to do more with the nature of the time you spend as a woman?
Is it the case that the part time woman does things a woman would normally do, while a “non part time woman” is limited to only certain activities – perhaps only ever presenting in the safety of her home?
I wonder whether it could be the slow separation of your life into two parts – where certain people only know you as a woman, and you only attend certain activities as a woman. Perhaps your electrologist and fellow book club attendees only every see your femme side, and in this respect you’re part time.
Or does part time imply a direction – on the way from “no time woman” to “full time woman”, so being part time is defined more by your direction towards a destination than where you are at the moment.
I’m not really hung up on labels, and I would describe myself as a part time woman even when I’m no longer able to present as such every second week. But I am interested in how you would describe a part time woman. Take a moment to answer the poll below and let me know 🙂
[poll id=”32″]
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Being part time means what you want it to mean. You don't have to spend a certain number of hours dressed as a woman to be living part time. In my mind, the whole "part-time", "full-time" thing is an insult in my mind as it insinuates that we are only women if we look the part.
Ahh, well said Jessica. Is womanhood so easy to claim as just putting on a dress, or so difficult as living in that dress? Perhaps in claiming womanhood we lose our inherent female nature and become something we strive for, rather than what we are.
Very insightful…
Does a woman stop being a woman when she cuts her hair short and wears a suit and tie? Is Ellen not a woman because she has a more butch presentation? I knew and dated a butch lesbian transsexual woman and she was happy in her presentation.
This was a hard one to answer. I dress en femme part time. But as my wife pointed out to me I am becoming more of a woman everyday. With my actions, personality, and attitude. So its hard for me to say if I am a woman part or full time. For the simple fact as my wife told me it takes more then clothes to be a woman. So I guess it all depends on how you define being a woman. Michelle
I wear women's clothing every day of the week, but that doesn't mean that I feel I'm presenting myself as a women every day of the week. It does take more than clothes. For me it includes the name I use to interacting with others. I'm not insulted by the terms part-time, full-time; I don't get that same insinuation. How am I presenting myself to me and to others is at least one way that I would determine whether I'm part-time or full-time. Right now I don't have the "look", but I am acting in my interests that is the… Read more »
Wow, dressing is but one aspect of being a woman. A woman is a way of viewing and thinking about things which contrasts to yes , the other gender, men to a degree. Contrast does not always mean disagree , just a different view. Realizing our womanhood in garments and presentation is fine, but I believe for some of us it run deeper and clearly for those who transition, I speculate the clothes and the rest just fulfilled something inside.
It brought us a small comfort but being someone who needed to transition, I know how strong and hard that drive was.
In my heart and soul, I have been a full time woman since birth. In the last 20 years since I have come out to my friends, they have all gotten to know and view me as a female even when I am not dressed female.
I have always lived full time female, Hiding and scared for many years maybe, but nevertheless, I have always been there.
I just don;t always dress full time….YET!
Being born in the wrong body with boy parts and dressing in boy clothes doesn't make you a boy.
WOW. That is a loaded question and it made me thnk. I guess I have always felt I was a woman. A woman in the wrong body as long as I can remember. I know I asked that question many times when I was young and all through schooling and university. I can remember a lot of my drives between Vancouver, BC and Portland, Oregon thinking I should have been a woman. And in my latter life I do fell I am a woman all the time. However work and community at this time don't allow me to be a… Read more »
Who we truly are doesn't depend on what we wear. Yet at the same time what we wear is a reflection of who we are when we are free to be ourselves.
very true
I don’t feel it is a matter of being full/part time. It is more of a quality time. I can have quality time at home or out and about. I feel it it is the comfort zone you are in at the time. For instance I like football, attend games, and usually only partially dressed (under things), but if I am out for the evening (dinner/ shopping) then I am fully en femme.
I think the situation dictates these decisions.
If dressing is the only gauge i am truley part time. Mentally I am a part time male because I feel I have to play the role I present.
Women come in many varieties — in their shapes, in their sizes, in their styles, and so very much on and so forth. Is a genetic woman not a woman anymore if she's wearing canvas pants, a t-shirt, and a ball cap, holding a shovel, and digging in the back yard garden? I'm a genetic woman and I'll tell you that I'd still feel like a woman. If you feel like a woman no matter what you're wearing, then you're a woman no matter what you're wearing, period. It's for YOU to feel, not for onlookers to decide. And maybe… Read more »
I think you needed some background music cresting to a crescendo as you finished your comment love. Very well said!
Amen to that
Strange Nurse I solute you, well said
🙂