Crossdressers - Be encouraged by what you learn

At the start of every yoga class we’re urged to set an intention for the practice. The intention is set as something to grasp onto when the practice gets tough. When your muscles are aching and sweat is dripping down your forehead you can come back to your intention for strength and motivation.

Recently I made my second trip to an advanced yoga practice. The first one had been a miserable experience. Overwhelmed and unable to follow along with the instructor I spent most of the class lying on my mat. It had taken a few months before I braved the advanced class again, yet the memory of my failure was still in my mind.

I knew that the class was going to be just as hard, and I would feel overwhelmed, tired and frustrated. So I chose my intention carefully. This practice I was going to focus on one thought:

Be Encouraged By What You Learn

Be encouraged by learning, not by perfection. Even if I try a pose and fail, my muscles become stronger, I learn more about the technique. Even if I’m too tired to stand up, I watch others and learn from them.

Throughout the practice I felt encouraged by my frustrations. I felt encouraged when I couldn’t do a pose. I felt encouraged when my muscles ached and my body quivered. I felt encouraged by what I was learning in every moment.

Crossdress and Be Encouraged

Sometimes crossdressing is like the most difficult yoga practice. You’re frustrated because you can’t seem to get your makeup right. Your clothes don’t fit properly, you struggle to walk in heels and you ladder your stockings. Every step you take as a crossdresser seems manly, clumsy and awkward. You may even have people laugh at you, or stare with intense interest. Your feet might be hurting, sweat ruining your makeup and the teller calls you, ‘sir’.

Despite being excited at the prospect of a wonderful day spent en femme you end your day in despair. Cursing your transgendered misfortune.

But Be Encouraged By What You Learn

It’s easy to get caught in the perfection trap. Always striving for perfect, yet never achieving it. Each failure chipping away at your pride until you barely feel like wearing anything at all. Don’t let your own judgments stop you from crossdressing.

Wear those clothes, do your makeup, put on that wig. Do your feminine best, and be encouraged by what you learn. Even if all you learn is how ill suited that red sweater is for your figure, have fun being awfully gorgeous.

We’re all just practicing our femininity, some of us have been at it a while longer, that’s all.

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Dedicated to creating a safe, supportive and welcoming environment for everyone in the transgender community.

Latest posts by Vanessa Law (see all)

  1. Tiffany 6 days ago

    My wife and I are considering a makeover and a night out in the SF Bay Area.
    First time for this. Does anybody have any recommendations?

  2. Jennifer Hope 2 weeks ago

    Hello All:
    Anybody here from the Greater Sacramento Area?

  3. Julie 2 months ago

    A very interesting message.
    I have been dressing on and off since year 2000, identifying as female decades before.
    I am now retired (early be today’s standards) and have recently separated from my wife though we are very good friends and see each other regularly. I keep her informed of my adventures (that sounds tacky). No. Let’s rephrase: I keep her informed on what I am doing, parties, Balls, trips away and show her pictures when asked.
    I see myself as a confident woman in every respect. I dress well. I am undergoing counselling to assess if I am a candidate for gender reassignment. This starts next Friday.

    • Julie Carson 2 months ago

      Oh Julie, how wonderful that you are beginning your journey. It really is liberating once u do come out of the closet and show the world who you really are!!!!! Hope we can chat about yours.

  4. josie michelle 2 months ago

    Thank you , it has been and is a slow journey for me and I am looking to release my inner self .

  5. Charlene Vonsmit 2 months ago

    thank you for accepting me and I try when I can but I think these other sites will help me be more beautiful

  6. Marissa 2 months ago

    Thank you for the support. Im so new to this i try each day to be a little bit more feminine. Last week i shaved my legs for the first time. It felt so good. This week i painted my toe nails. Im in the process of trying to find the right wig and this weekend im going to shave my armpits. Ive incorporated a daily butt routine in my exercise too. The wig is tough…i keep thinking im hideous ..but i havent even learnef makeup yet so im hoping that helps alot. Again thank you for being here.

    • Julie Carson 2 months ago

      Oh Marrissa how cute are you?! I so remember the stage you are in now. Enjoy, it is sooooo fun. And when you find the right wig and put it on for the first time, have your makeup on first, ok? Because when you look in the mirror you will wonder wh o this beautiful woman is. Huggs hunni.

  7. Lindie Moore 3 months ago

    Thank you. Im new to the site. Never give up

  8. Amy Rae Jones 3 months ago

    Thank you for the encouraging article. I’ll be ‘re-reading it often in the days ahead. I’m very apprehensive but with encouraging words from the man I love and all of you I’ll become the woman I’ve always wanted to be.

  9. Lacie Edwards 4 months ago


  10. Lindy Roe 4 months ago

    This helps with my anxiety of going out for the 1st time. I will keep rethinking these points when I am in public. These days it does seem to be welcoming to us CDs than in the past. Well maybe not here in Alberta 😉

  11. Julie Marie Miller 4 months ago

    I have been practicing for yrs. I just gotta keep on going. Hopefully one day I will be able to become more feminine and act more like a woman and dress and be able to use makeup to look pretty like other women. That would be my biggest struggle. Makeup.

  12. Julie Slowinski 4 months ago

    Thanks Vanessa, I totally agree. I think Brad Pitt put it best in Inglorious Bastards: ”You know how to get to Carnegie Hall, don’t you? Practice!”

  13. Eve 4 months ago

    Hi ladies My name is Eve , I am new to this site and I love it already from what I have read so far.All I can say to my sisters is that to be your self and keep practicing who you really are inside, you will get it right doesn’t have to be perfect Eve

  14. Kymi Crocker 6 months ago

    It was very interesting thanks

  15. Tomasina Dillon 6 months ago

    Having experienced at least a few of the disappointing feelings of cloths not fitting properly or the correct wearing technique. I’m encouraged by this article and feel a little less anxious about the fem cloths I love to wear around in my apartment and hidden under my shorts and jeans as I go about my daily activities as a man. TY

  16. Jennifer 6 months ago

    This is a lovely encouraging article. .I have been feeling alone, guilty, embarrassed, ashamed, a freak. .just because I am a feminine male who likes to feel and dress feminine. .thank you.
    Jennifer x

  17. Paula 6 months ago

    It hasbeen wonderfully uplifting
    Reading your

  18. ConnieLynn Daunier 7 months ago

    My journey began 58 years ago at age 2 weeks. I actually did not fully realize I was male until I was 6 1/2yrs old. Seeing as how I lived as a girl pretty much full time. Being a boy was a game to me.
    It was so out there for a child in 1959 and the early 60’s to be transgenderd. But I was and did nt even know it.
    Life has been up and down many times.
    Today as I write this life is on the ups. Always getting better.
    My wife supports me in all I do. And I am truly blessed.
    see you soon. Connie

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