Be Encouraged By What You Learn

Crossdressers - Be encouraged by what you learn

At the start of every yoga class we’re urged to set an intention for the practice. The intention is set as something to grasp onto when the practice gets tough. When your muscles are aching and sweat is dripping down your forehead you can come back to your intention for strength and motivation.

Recently I made my second trip to an advanced yoga practice. The first one had been a miserable experience. Overwhelmed and unable to follow along with the instructor I spent most of the class lying on my mat. It had taken a few months before I braved the advanced class again, yet the memory of my failure was still in my mind.

I knew that the class was going to be just as hard, and I would feel overwhelmed, tired and frustrated. So I chose my intention carefully. This practice I was going to focus on one thought:

Be Encouraged By What You Learn

Be encouraged by learning, not by perfection. Even if I try a pose and fail, my muscles become stronger, I learn more about the technique. Even if I’m too tired to stand up, I watch others and learn from them.

Throughout the practice I felt encouraged by my frustrations. I felt encouraged when I couldn’t do a pose. I felt encouraged when my muscles ached and my body quivered. I felt encouraged by what I was learning in every moment.

Crossdress and Be Encouraged

Sometimes crossdressing is like the most difficult yoga practice. You’re frustrated because you can’t seem to get your makeup right. Your clothes don’t fit properly, you struggle to walk in heels and you ladder your stockings. Every step you take as a crossdresser seems manly, clumsy and awkward. You may even have people laugh at you, or stare with intense interest. Your feet might be hurting, sweat ruining your makeup and the teller calls you, ‘sir’.

Despite being excited at the prospect of a wonderful day spent en femme you end your day in despair. Cursing your transgendered misfortune.

But Be Encouraged By What You Learn

It’s easy to get caught in the perfection trap. Always striving for perfect, yet never achieving it. Each failure chipping away at your pride until you barely feel like wearing anything at all. Don’t let your own judgments stop you from crossdressing.

Wear those clothes, do your makeup, put on that wig. Do your feminine best, and be encouraged by what you learn. Even if all you learn is how ill suited that red sweater is for your figure, have fun being awfully gorgeous.

We’re all just practicing our femininity, some of us have been at it a while longer, that’s all.

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Dedicated to creating a safe, supportive and welcoming environment for everyone in the transgender community.
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  1. zena 3 days ago

    Hi to all was once on here but lost my membership but anyway I’m back yes wigs are nice to have if don’t have the hair already an if don’t secure them when first putting em on they will fall off or twist n move on you however the best thing to do is grow out your own then don’t have that problem even though still have keep it washed n brushed make sure it’s kept maintained)zena

  2. Profile photo of debbie
    debbie 1 month ago

    That was a wonderful read and presentation Vanessa.I have printed it to read to my support group . Hugs

  3. GinaV 1 month ago

    I enjoy exploring Femininity and look for ways to embrace it through reading and experiencing. Finding ways to connect with the world of Women, and trying as best as possible, begin to see the world through a Woman’s eyes and develop those traits which define Femininity. I am curently reading Cokie Roberts’ Founding Mothers and have been profoundly illuminated as to the role of Females and what was expected of them in the colonies during the eighteenth century.

  4. DeeDee 1 month ago

    Thank you for the encouraging article. I am just beginning my journey and every bit of encouragement helps. Thank you so very much.

  5. garridoramon 1 month ago

    hola vanesa encantda de saludarlay darle las gracias por tan bonita pagina me encantan todos los consejos y aprender ha ser una buena mujer gracias por todo y esperando sus noticias , un beesito y feliz dia

  6. Candy 5 months ago

    Hi can anyone tell me to join crossdresser heaven ? When it tells me to let us know your human I can’t type anything

  7. Candy 5 months ago

    Hi Shauna
    I’ve just read your message it could be me writing it , 3 kids a 17 year marriage followed by a short fiery 3 year marriage and 12 years in the service please tell me how I start to accept cross dressing I’ve fought against it all my life all my anger and depression is caused by it my currant partner is very supportive it’s me that isn’t ,I’m stubborn I guess ,I see both a physicist and physiologist and both say “what is wrong with it ” any advice will be kindly accepted

  8. Candy 5 months ago

    Hi all
    This is my first time on a site such as this my story is a long miserable one I’ve been dressing since I was 8 or 9 and it’s ruined my life , I have lost everything I have ever had thro dressing it caused me to hit the bottle,I was an alcoholic for 17 years till I got ill I lost my job my home and wife and kids thro the knock on effects of dressing to make matters worse I’m a manly hard ex marine. I loath myself to the point of wanting to take my life I’m on many meds for depression and anxiety I’m on here hoping to learn something that just mite help to put my mind at ease a little

    • Shauna 5 months ago

      Candy i understand your frustration. 20 year marriage, 4 kids,6 year marine and all the depression i could handle.until i accepted who i was. I was constantly angry and bitter towards others but worse off toward myself. I pray you find acceptance here, both of who you are and its okay to love yourself today.

  9. Lacy 5 months ago

    I’ve dressed since 10 when I discovered how nice it felt to have my mom’s panties and bras on. My life is straight but closet dress a lot without the wife knowing. Tough to be the girl I like to be and know how hard it is to explain this to anyone who would think we’re sick, including my wife. The internet has let me know that I’m so not alone which is great as it’s always nice to talk to others that are in the same situation as I am. I dressed for years just loving being fem but several years ago I invited a man over to meet me as Lacy and that changed me from straight to I don’t know what but I did enjoy the way he treated me as a woman and only wish I could go back in like to explore even further my love of dressing and being a woman. Love to chat again with others that feel the same way.

  10. Grace Alice 5 months ago

    My body is fine as I am skinny smooth and quite girly, but I need some help in facial make up. I have watched tutorials but don’t want to look like a clown. I know the look I want is one that has a goth heavy eye and chiselled cheek bones look with kissable lips. I need someone to start my journey for me. Any advise?

    • Profile photo of Jamies time
      Jamies time 1 month ago

      I can tell you from my experience a girl friend of mine suggested I make an appointment for lessons with Ultra Salon so I did and went in partly dressed and could not believe how good it felt when I looked in mirror I have been back often and getting better each time

  11. Profile photo of Susan Trace
    Susan Trace 9 months ago

    Always been a loner. Only dress for my own satisfaction, never confident enough to show myself in public.

  12. Sebeena 9 months ago

    I am straight male, but a cross dresser. I love wearing all sorts of girly dress and go out for walk in the morning when no one is around. Especially panties and bras make me very comfortable and reassuring. The touch of the soft fabric on my soft parts makes me feel good and some times little high. I also tried sanitary napkins for its softness and felt good Girls have so many fine soft and well designed colourful garments and under garments. Men’s clothes especially undies are very ill designed and bad. I love all that is feminine. No tried make up like women as I like the way I am. I have an athletic body, but bras and panties and leggings fits me very much and and feel very shapy and good on mirror.

  13. Tommie 10 months ago

    Wish me luck,going out for the first time next week.Going to casino and will be wearing a dress my wig and will be getting my nails done,and my face makeover.

  14. Profile photo of Karyn Lobelia
    Karyn Lobelia 12 months ago

    Be proud of who you are , love yourself as you are and always be kind to everyone !

  15. tammy 12 months ago

    hello I have been crossdressing for a while know. allways at home. I finally got the nerve to go to the mall as tammy. and went out for the first time shoe shopping .I was left alone
    i got lots of stairs when i left the mall walking to my car i was called a fagit and homo.
    i went home and took off my tammy clothing and only dress as tammy at home .I looking for a place to go as tammy.

    • Lacy 5 months ago

      Hi Tammy,

      How brave of you as it’s apparent you didn’t quite make it as the woman you like to be but it must have been fun and exciting. Did you shop for nice things like lingerie. I’ve been out too but late at night so not so noticable but with heels I’m 6’6″. I’m very good as walking and being fem and do love it. Do you think you’ll do it again?

      Hugs, lacy

  16. Profile photo of Trish
    Trish 1 year ago

    Can i ask how i get smooth without razor rash
    My chest especially?
    And do breadt creams work to grow your breast

    • Profile photo of
      Kim Cummings 3 months ago

      To ensure that your legs look smooth and silky, application of a depilitory sometimes helps avoid a rash. Use a lot of sweet smelling shave gel with hot water and soak well before you use a new razor every time. After shaving, smooth on a nice creamy lotion on your pretty legs. Be sure to get a good pedicure on your feet.

  17. Christine 1 year ago

    What a great article, and how encouraging!

  18. Janine 1 year ago

    I have been a cross dresser for a while.
    I to can get transformed into my feminine person in less than a hour
    I am the happiest when I am wearing a skirt and thigh high hose
    After I put on my high heels and leave to go out to shop I am totally relaxed and confident as I go about my day.
    Thank you for your support


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