At the start of every yoga class we’re urged to set an intention for the practice. The intention is set as something to grasp onto when the practice gets tough. When your muscles are aching and sweat is dripping down your forehead you can come back to your intention for strength and motivation.
Recently I made my second trip to an advanced yoga practice. The first one had been a miserable experience. Overwhelmed and unable to follow along with the instructor I spent most of the class lying on my mat. It had taken a few months before I braved the advanced class again, yet the memory of my failure was still in my mind.
I knew that the class was going to be just as hard, and I would feel overwhelmed, tired and frustrated. So I chose my intention carefully. This practice I was going to focus on one thought:
Be Encouraged By What You Learn
Be encouraged by learning, not by perfection. Even if I try a pose and fail, my muscles become stronger, I learn more about the technique. Even if I’m too tired to stand up, I watch others and learn from them.
Throughout the practice I felt encouraged by my frustrations. I felt encouraged when I couldn’t do a pose. I felt encouraged when my muscles ached and my body quivered. I felt encouraged by what I was learning in every moment.
Crossdress and Be Encouraged
Sometimes crossdressing is like the most difficult yoga practice. You’re frustrated because you can’t seem to get your makeup right. Your clothes don’t fit properly, you struggle to walk in heels and you ladder your stockings. Every step you take as a crossdresser seems manly, clumsy and awkward. You may even have people laugh at you, or stare with intense interest. Your feet might be hurting, sweat ruining your makeup and the teller calls you, ‘sir’.
Despite being excited at the prospect of a wonderful day spent en femme you end your day in despair. Cursing your transgendered misfortune.
But Be Encouraged By What You Learn
It’s easy to get caught in the perfection trap. Always striving for perfect, yet never achieving it. Each failure chipping away at your pride until you barely feel like wearing anything at all. Don’t let your own judgments stop you from crossdressing.
Wear those clothes, do your makeup, put on that wig. Do your feminine best, and be encouraged by what you learn. Even if all you learn is how ill suited that red sweater is for your figure, have fun being awfully gorgeous.
We’re all just practicing our femininity, some of us have been at it a while longer, that’s all.
More Articles by Vanessa Law
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- Win a Free Makeup Prize Bundle from Jecca Blac
- A Few Changes in Our Family
- I Want to Live Like That
- Hope in Despair, Light through the Darkness
I shall never be able to do a Salute to the Sun without thinking of this blog post 🙂
(weak) Jokes aside, it’s true. It – cross dressing – is a learning curve. Sometimes quite a steep one, but it’s fun studying! 😀
I find it encouraging that even GGs don’t get it right all the time. All the problems that we have they have also had at one time or another, the only advantage they have is the practice of doing it longer. We haven’t had that luxury, but once we start putting on the dresses and other things, we do get the practice. Keep going.
I love the Yoga comparison. It takes discipline to be a beautiful, confident, resourceful, and comfortable in your skin. Great advice
Thanks for this post, I was actually using this information tonight (for martial arts as opposed to yoga), I find I wind myself up over aiming for perfection when I should realise its a long slow journey and not even those furthers along it have reached perfection yet 🙂
Thanks for all the great comments. I find it amazing how so much of life mirrors the struggle and joys we go through crossdressing. It truly is a blessing to be able to learn so much about life through crossdressing 🙂
Very encouraging. Thank you so much.
I was just thinking the other day that one of the things I hoped for years ago was to become so comfortable in feminine clothing that I could get dressed with easy and do the things I needed to do at any given time while dressed. I used to admire women who could slip in high heels like they were slippers by merely reaching down with their toes, flipping the shoe upright and guiding the shoe on without used of their hands. I can now do that with all but my newest tightest heels of the strappy ones. The ability… Read more »
Thank you for providing me with your support. This has been a difficult time for me. I almost lost my love for crossdressing and assuming a female persona.
It would be great to meet other CDs (inperson) so as to encourage/learn from each other so as to not get discouraged!
Jane London Ontairo
I remember being a teen and getting chances to have my own lingerie. I had so much fun trying on different styles and fabrics. But the guilt that came with dressing was one of the worst things ever. I purged so much even into my twenties. It may not have been so much dressing as much as it was the sexual side of it that the guilt came from. Once I was able to put on panties and keep myself under control, I found so much more joy and comfort in wearing them as underwear and not as a gateway… Read more »
As long as they are steps foreward–not backwards life gets better–
Ways to get more compfortable with coming out are–
When shopping for fem clothes-Tell the sales people they are for you Or that you need to try them on to make shure they fit—
Let one or two of your friends or family"Catch" you in panties/nightgown ect-
If your uncompfortable–Just tell them(to begin with) that the clothes are just more comfy-
Am just entering the CD world and began very much on own. No one in my life knew and many will not know. But as I began to purchase all that makes me femme, I felt an incredible sense of freedom! Long live the new femme me!