The new year has been underway for a few weeks, ushering out an old year with any regrets and sadness and welcoming a fresh opportunity at living. If you’re like most, your New Year’s resolutions are already becoming but a faded memory as the reality of the year ahead sets in. There’s deadlines at work, drama at home and a deep sense of unease that everything will be just the same this year as last year.
For those of you who crossdress the new year may be an even more tense time. Perhaps you’ve sworn off crossdressing, or at least promised to keep it to once a month. Perhaps you’ve finally committed to sharing your secret with a loved one, or taking an outing in public for the first time. All of these commitments to yourself can be an important part of your growth and discovery. Even if sacrifice and denial is in vain, the learning gained by the experience can prove priceless for future decisions.
My lovely readers, as you may know this last year has been full of new, terrifying and exciting experiences. I had facial feminization surgery and gender reassignment surgery, which have stretched my emotional and physical tolerances. While my spirit has been filled, for many months my energy has flagged and returned only to flag once more. All through this experience I’ve learnt many things, but one in particular I’d like to share with you:
Be True to Yourself
It’s easy to get caught up in what others want or expect. To set aside your own desires or even your integrity to please someone else. In the moment it may seem to bring peace, or to offer a short glimpse of happiness, but in the end it will erode your soul. I fought against becoming myself for many years. I was driven by fear, the expectations of society and the desire to make my now ex wife happy. Every day I sacrificed a piece of my soul just to keep the status quo. And every day the sacrificial demands go larger, and the status quo a grim shadow of it’s former self.
I’ve had some rough times emotionally, as many do recovering from surgery, but I have never for one second doubted that I did the right thing. It’s as if I had placed a desperate gamble and won back all of my soul I had so carelessly bartered away. I was true to myself, completely. Many didn’t like it. I lost a wife, lost some “friends” and gained myself. And new friends, and new opportunities.
This time of year is delicate – you’re just getting over regret at having slipped up on a resolution or two, but I implore you to make room for one more commitment this year. Be True to Yourself. Whatever that means for you. It’s okay to purge and sacrifice if that’s being true. It’s okay to go out in public, even make a fool of yourself, if that’s being true. It’s okay to step out on the ledge and share with someone else, if that’s being true.
I believe that very few of us have an opportunity to live an authentic life. Join me in 2012, and live your authentic life.
Latest posts by Vanessa Law (see all)
- Scholar Program – Transwomen’s Social Support for Medication Adherence - April 6, 2019
- Crossdresser Heaven Site Updates for January 2019 - January 28, 2019
- You Are Enough - March 5, 2017
- We Can Make It Into Something Wonderful - February 26, 2017
- Meet Your Crossdresser Heaven Ambassadors - February 15, 2017