My Husband Betty

Last week I finished reading My Husband Betty, a book by Helen Boyd about Love, Sex, and Life with a Crossdresser. I can honestly say that this is the best book I’ve read about the cross-dressing experience. Helen compassionately shares her struggles living with a crossdresser, exposes the hidden truths about cross-dressing that Tri-ESS doesn’t want you to know and shares the real experiences of other woman who live with crossdressers.

My Husband Betty Book

As mentioned in a previous article for women married to a cross-dresser, I still think Peggy Rudd’s book My Husband Wears My Clothes is a valuable resource. Peggy’s book is an excellent guide to cross-dressing 101. Helen’s book is more akin to Transgender 202.

The things I especially appreciated about Helen’s book are her frank and open discussions about cross-dressing and sexuality. This is a topic generally avoided by Tri-ESS, and other books about that discuss cross-dressing purely as a the expression of inner femininity.

I enjoyed Helen’s overview of all members of the transgender community, and discussing the difference between transsexual and transgender. Helen has a keen appreciation for where crossdressers fit into the larger transgender community, as well as some of the conflict that occurs between crossdressers and the same community.

Helen is also not shy to share the “darker side of crossdressing”, very vividly portrayed through the stories of wives and ex-wives of crossdressers. In some sense, the book could be titled “What your husband won’t tell you about crossdressing, but probably should.”

The Crossdressed Husband

My Husband Betty is valuable for the wife of a crossdresser, but I think the crossdressed husband has a duty to read this. An area that we often lack as crossdressers is empathy for our significant other. Resources that help us accept ourselves and share our transgendered nature with others are valuable, but often they don’t prepare us fully for the struggle our loved ones will have.

A highly recommended read – but be warned, My Husband Betty could shatter some of your preconceptions about crossdressers.

P.S. Have you ever wanted to be a better woman? Learn how to cross dress and pass as a woman

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  1. Tina Thompson 7 years ago

    “My Husband Betty” delivers by the pound what far too many marriages with crossdressing lack: brutal, frank honesty. Even when many crossdresser’s wives “know” they aren’t given the whole story. Sometimes the crossdressing husband doesn’t even realize some things for him/herself! That’s where “My Husband Betty” is so valuable, and I would highly recommend it to anyone interested in the subject.

  2. Andie 6 years ago

    If you have the courage, or have reached a point of no-return, this is a book to share with a wife who is only just getting to know about cross-dressing or TG issues. There is no way forward other than this kind of honesty, but it removes all the road blocks straight away: there shouldn’t be too many surprises left and everything becomes discussable. That doesn’t make it easy. But the book in its honesty reveals that you aren’t the only couple in the world, there are no promises, but there are possibilities of seeing the whole thing differently.

    But there is the back story. I would also highly recommend “She’s not the Man I Married” (the sequel) because a wife reading it as well will know that the CD partner is starting to understand her too. Here Betty is as yet undecided, so the fears and unknowns are still there for Helen. But again, it lays the issues right out, wide and open, and everything is said.

    And the ending so far? Betty did transition, Helen still is married to her, and her website is thriving. I have a lot to thank Helen (and Betty) for.

    • Author
      Vanessa Law 6 years ago

      Well said Andie. It doesn’t make it easy, but it makes an honest conversation possible.

  3. Tasi 2 years ago

    My Husband Betty is a good book but I think the most overlooked book for understanding crossdressers was written much earlier by JJ Allen, ‘The Man in the Red Velvet Dress, Inside the World of Crossdressing”.

    As far as the wives goes, I suggest you read The Wives Speak Out on Sister House for a bit broader view on how the wives think and then read Pandora’s articles for a real session of truth telling by the wives

  4. Chelle 6 years ago

    I dont know, if what I have to say, will have Anie
    effect, but, I consider myself as Transgendered,,, pre op,, and problie never make it to a post op stage :).. have been married for near
    30 years, and pulled back
    within myself, for close to the Last 20 years. Being myself with my wife, was
    Amazing to say the least,
    but at some point, she did a complete turn 🙁 . It is in no way, her fault, as I
    feel anie ways. My oldest stepdaughter, feels
    differentlie tho, in that her mother Knew, and
    Encouraged me,being
    myself,, and then to becom
    disgusted after 10, or so years into lifewith me,
    tehre is no xcuse. My
    wife’s thoughts were as to
    the effect, she felt she
    was becoming lesbian, as
    she felt when we went to bed, she was making love to
    another woman :). It made My heart sink, and when she told me of her affair, because of My hangup,, well, I ended up going into a phsych
    unit, for THE CURE 🙂 lol. secret? there Is no cure.. running out of room, sorrie.. Chelle

  5. Vanessa Law 7 years ago

    Well said Tina!

  6. Vanessa Law 9 years ago

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts on My Husband Betty Gennee. I must admit that I’m still struck by the honesty and optimism in the book. A welcome change from some other books that at best treat crossdressing like a disease to be management

  7. gennee 9 years ago

    I read My Husband Betty a couple of years ago and agree that it is an excellent book. Helen Boyd really describes what the crossdresser is experiencing. I highly recommend it for the wives of crossdresser. The book is a staple in my home library.


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