,

Hi everyone!! My name is Bren. I want to introduce myself and share my crossdressing story.

My journey began at age five, 53 years ago. My best friend was the girl who lived next door. We played together all the time and I would wear her ruffled black dress in our backyards. We planned to get married when we grew up; she wanted to be the groom and I would be the bride. (How I wish she was in my life now!).

As I entered into puberty, I did a lot of experimenting with my mom’s clothes and makeup. I loved the way silky lingerie felt against my skin. Around 13 or 14, I’d already acquired my own pantyhose, high heels, bra, and a 2 piece outfit—skirt and halter top. I began practicing with makeup, but never mastered it to look good. I would go to the local park and dress up in the woods where I would walk around outdoors, and it felt great! It was so exciting and free.

Slowly, I gathered my courage and began walking closer to the road where I could be seen. I was very skinny, about 130 pounds and had very long blond, thick curly hair. I’m sure I didn’t look like a girl up close, but I loved doing it. Once, an older man approached me and propositioned me. I admit, I considered it, but declined.

One night, while my parents went to dinner, I went all out and got dolled up and sat watching TV in the living room, where I ended up falling asleep. The next thing I knew, my folks came walking through the door and freaked out. They made me sit at the kitchen table in my dress, heels and make up while they screamed at me. My older brother and sister listened. My Dad, he was a he man, beer drinking, bar fighting Construction worker. He called me a fag, and that he wasn’t raising me as his daughter. The banter went on for what seemed like hours.

I was so humiliated; I began thinking something was wrong with me. I cried for hours. They made me go see a shrink, who also said that something must be wrong with my chemistry. I hated him and finally refused to go anymore, telling my parents I was cured. But I wasn’t. I learned to hide my secret better.

When I was 23, I told my live-in girlfriend my secret. I wanted so badly to let my inner female out and share it with someone. At first she objected, but I used my dressing up as a way to spice up our sex life. Soon we were dress shopping together, and she planned her weekend dates with Brenda. We loved garter belts, stockings, and lacy bras. We’d wear matching Victoria Secret lingerie to work. It was a great time in my life, but eventually we broke up.

I went through a short period of time were I began to think I might be gay. Brenda “dated” a couple guys. It was fun, but I found out that I am truly attracted to woman. My next live-in girlfriend found out my secret right away. I took the same approach with her, explaining that it would spice up our sex life. My biggest mistake was in allowing her to film me dressed with no makeup or wig. A couple years later, after we split, she showed the film to everyone we knew out of spite.

Once again, I was humiliated, feeling as low as low as one could go. You must understand, I lived at a time when crossdressers were considered to be sexual perverts, something weird that was not acceptable. This is what I’d been told that by my parents and the shrink. We had no internet, no Jenner, no outlet to express who we really were. Although there’s still a lot of stigma attached in being a crossdresser, things are so much better now. Thank God for this website!!

I stuck Brenda in a closet for the past 23 years, but she’s knocking loudly on the door, wanting to get out and express herself. I’ll be back to share more of more story; thanks for reading!

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Bren Whyme

I wore my first dress when I was 5yrs old telling Mom I was a girl and she took it away and said, "Your a boy and boys don't wear dresses. At 15 My parents caught me fully en femme and told me if I didn't stop I would become a transvestite, sexual deviate. I learned to hide my Cross dressing but often felt terrible after dressing so began the purge and begin again thing. In my early 20's I went wild for a few years hitting the club's in Miami, Florida with my girlfriend at the time who loved and supported my crossdressing. I easily passed in those days as my testosterone levels were low. I experimented a lot with sex of both genders and learned a lot about myself. After we split I moved and purged again locking away the girl that exists inside me for over 20 years. In the fall of 2018 she began knocking on the door and here came those old familiar feelings. I came upon CDH and after a brief time I shared my fears, got some great advice. I'm a short, very wide, tattoo'd, upper body person, not the typical frame of a woman and I didn't think I could overcome the odds. But I came out to my very loving SO of 20 years. Surprisingly she liked the idea and we want shopping and after much frustration, found a skirt here and a top there, eventually putting together a wardrobe. Now, over 3 months later my relationship with my SO is better than ever. I am a more compassionate, loving, calmer human being when I express my feminine self. I'm also so much happier and sexual too. I have recently learned that dressing up in woman's clothing is not a sexual thing for me, instead, being me leaves me free to feel sexual. We all must be who we truly are to live a full and happy life! The shame and guilt I felt as a kid when caught by my parents has been replaced with happiness and pride for who and what I am. I am presently taking Voice Feminization lessons, have taken 2 courses on make up application and even though I'm blind in one eye, I do all my own make up. I have never been happier than I am today. I often go out en femme shopping, walking my dog, anything. I love going out anywhere when dressed as a woman, it feels so free, so liberating, even simple tasks like grocery shopping become fun. And nothing is more satisfying than be addressed to as, "Maam". I love when strangers give me that respect. I know I'm far from being "passable", but if I can blend in to the crowd for now, I' m happy!! I'm evolving everyday!!

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Glenda BingyiChrissie CrossErin Hastings*skippy1965(Cynthia)April (Pacific Princess) Recent comment authors
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fiona moss
Ambassador
Active Member

Oh Bren, nice story. You sure have had your ups and downs, but you have fought through it all. Dressing femme is a thing which never goes away, sure, some people can supress it for a while, but the desires keep coming back and why shouldn’t they? they are part of you, after all. It was rather unfortunate falling asleep and your mum and dad finding out the way they did but maybe these thing happen for a reason, to make us stronger and more determined perhaps. Your girlfriend showing the film to everyone was a cruel thing to do,… Read more »

Lucinda Hawkns
Lady
Member

hello Bren, thanks for sharing your journey. sorry to hear all the dis appointments in this journey. yes back then x dressing was not allowed, or never heard of. but know we see it on T.V. the internet{ thank God got the internet } society is not willing to accept the x dressing for some reason. but we hear about woman getting married to woman and men marring men, we see it on T.V men wearing female cloths, men are gay, { i hate that word } but we see it on a daily basis. woman wearing men clothing and… Read more »

Sofi
Duchess
Member

Hi Lucinda – apologies for busting in an your chat but my situation has a little resonance with you and Polly, I am of similar age and love everything you said about the feel of our clothes – nylons in the wind, what a treat it is to be able walk freely outside, even if it’sin the dark on a very quiet lane where I live 🙂 My wife, who was the first person I came out o a couple of years ago can’t handle it at all – funnily enough though it’s taken her two years to process it… Read more »

Rochelle Mooney
Guest
Rochelle Mooney

I Love your story, it is all so familiar. Hugs Rochelle.

melissa la quinta
Duchess
Member

Yes, many elements of your story resonate with my own memories. I hope you’ll soon be able to get dolled up and proudly join other CD’s and Trans women for an event, even if it’s just an informal Girls Night Out. It’s so important to have the support of other gurls. God luck sweet Bren!

Micah Dean
Lady

Touching story Bren. I am of your era and have found myself dressing more and and more of late. Agreed, it is an inner struggle to understand your own sexuality. I ask myself as you do l, am I gay or straight, but I see my wife and how beautiful women are and know I am heterosexual. I helped my wife a lot today pick out some new make up today. Little does she know I work on my own technique through her trials and tribulations. In any event the world has changed since we we were young. You were… Read more »

April (Pacific Princess)
Ambassador
Active Member

Bren – I can so relate. I suppressed my crossdressing for over 30 years, from my mid 20s until my late 50s. I’m 61 now and have been dressing again for the past 2-1/2 years. It has been a blessing to finally be able to be myself. I don’t dress all the time, but it is nice to be able to dress when the urge is there. My wife is understanding to a point, and for that I am grateful, but it would be nice to have a partner that wants to be a part of April’s life. I hope… Read more »

*skippy1965(Cynthia)
Ambassador
Active Member

Bren-thanks for sharing your story. I’m a few years behind you (I’ll b 54 soon) but still remember those pre-internet days well to. My parents weren’t abusive when they discoverd me but could tell it wasn’t something they were happy about. Cyn went underground and (I thought/hoped) disappeared when I got married but it was less than a year before my wife caught me dressed. She almost left but stayed after I begged and promised to stop. Didn’t happen of course so after holding the marriage together for another 12 years we split. Cyn took a bit to come out… Read more »

Erin Hastings
Lady

Thank you Bren, I am so sorry about your pain. I cant imagine a video outing at the hands of a vindictive soul. I am almost 50. Been dressing since I was 9. Started on a dare from an older sister. Little boys dont turn down dares. I too have had periods of neglecting my sexy side. About 5 yrs ago I went thru some personal trials (divorce). Found myself wearing my girlfriends things when she was working. Then I discovered internet shopping! Oh boy! Or girl. I have a huge wardrobe now. Way more female clothes than male. My… Read more »

Sofi
Duchess
Member

SO happy that your Girlfriend at least lets you ‘get away with it’ so long as it’s not in her face, I’m going to have to move into a caravan in our garden to give my wife the space she needs to process what I admitted to being after 28 years of marriage at age 56!
She’s super-angry and upset (who can blame her, really) but I still have hopes we can be friends again, best wishes to you and good luck from the best part of the UK – West Wales 🙂

Chrissie Cross
Lady
Member

Hi Bren and thank you for sharing your story. Mine isnt exactly the same, but it rhymes! I hope to submit it for publication soon and I hope you will give it a read.
All the best,
Chrissie

Glenda Bingyi
Lady
Member

Hi Bren it was lovely to read your story adn in certain parts we could swap Bren for Glenda and it would read my life story as well. Like you I had a massive hiatus where Glenda was denied for a long time but she is here and a part of me so I have to acknowledge her. My SO has found me out in the past and like you I have told her it was all a phase and past history but and some will think me evil but I live Glenda when ever I can sometimes in private… Read more »

Sofi
Duchess
Member

Eek – I worry about that approach to your SO Glenda but it is what I (almost) wish I’d done with mine: instead I came out completely and hoped we’d be able to survive the emotional turmoil… We didn’t but I am STILL hopeful that if I can give her space (by moving into a caravan in our garden) she will be able to re-adjust and see me again as the soul mate, and friend if not lover, that I still am – even after breaking the dreadful XD news about two years ago… What I am saying is, it’s… Read more »

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