I’ve been blessed to be your Managing Editor for over two years. Believe me when I say, “I’ve read it all.” I’ve enjoyed my time being in the background, helping to give voice to so many of you that have important stories to tell. I created the Hodgepodge column to publish those articles that aren’t the usual introduction to how we got to this point in our lives. The Media Review showcases our presence in movies, books, and online. Hope and Light is about sharing a positive message about our community. Your weekly Reset tackles the deeper issues surrounding us and our place in the world. One could spend countless hours going back through the archives and find tips and tricks, heartbreak, successes, hope, uncertainty, and everything that is special about our collective group. Which leads me to…

            Brina’s corner is going to be my special little place where I’m going to share my insights (much of which has come from all of you) on what it means to be a crossdresser, or in my case as it is with so many of us, being slightly more. There are others on this site that offer guidance on transitioning for those seeking that path. You can also head over to our sister site Transgenderheaven.com to learn more. I think of them as the big sister with the responsibility to look out for and protect us. They’ve been there and done that. You’ll find many of us frequent both sites as they are both similar and distinctive. Personally, I’ve been something more for a long time. I’m not sure I’ll ever arrive at the answer to what my more really is, and that’s ok. I have found (MY WAY) to exist within the world that I live. A wise person once said, “There is a vast difference between wants and needs, be careful that you don’t mistake one for the other.”

            To be honest, I came here looking for my own answers. The main one: Why am I this way? While I’ve found many answers to that and other concerns, what I really found was a safe environment filled with others like me and not so much like me. We are a large collective that have assembled under the umbrella of “Crossdresser.” If I ask you, “What is a crossdresser?” I’m sure that the answers would be as varied as the makeup of our site. I have an analytic side to my creative one that could build a spreadsheet to show the who’s who of our site and it might surprise many of you.

It reminds me of being back in school. We’re a collective of little cliques that carve out their own little niches within the CDH universe. And just like the real world, they don’t always see eye to eye. I was one of those people in school that traversed multiple cliques and never completely settled into one, thus, I was mostly a loner with a few close friends. I played sports successfully, I was a top student, I did band and chorus, I was involved in clubs and church, and (I also knew how to party…) Such is my life as I examine my crossdressing experiences, I’m still dipping a painted toe into many of the pools within our site.

            That loner part of me has carried through my life as I tend to champion the underdogs and hate labels. I understand their need, (The world can’t seem to survive without them) but I see the world more simply (some call it seeing the bigger picture) and respect those who feel the need to use them. Labels have given power to those who wield them as much as they’ve been used to tear others apart. Our world has become a reflection of the politics, religion, and of a culture that utilizes labels more than ever before. Enough said on that point as I will surely come back to it down the road. My point for today; we are one, we are many, and we are in this together. If we are going to embrace the term Crossdresser, then we must also accept all the subheadings that go with it, whether it conforms to our little clique’s set of parameters or not. But herein lies the problem. If you search online for a clear-cut definition it will most-likely show the antiqued labelism that plagues us today. Wearing the clothes of the opposite sex.

            Raise your hand if you are comfortable with that. That belief is only acceptable to a purely heterosexual person (goes both ways MtF and FtM) that believes in the stereotypical gender defining that has been forced upon us, and wears those distinctly and anointed items of the opposite of where they identify as. The longer my life has gone on the harder it is for me to define myself. Maybe I just like to dress as me, whatever that means. The fact that I have to hide it because the world isn’t ready to accept new definitions as to what being human means is more their issue than mine. We are always going to see race, people with handicaps, whether they’re tall or short have tattoos or piercings, dress differently, speak differently, and so much more. What we don’t have to see is the imaginary label that floats above their head and is so prevalent in our own thoughts—mine included.

Crossdresser Superstore

            How can we be tolerant of the right to be individuals if we can’t even tolerate each other’s uniqueness on this site. I don’t know what a crossdresser is, but I’m sure it isn’t something that can be clearly defined, (nor should it) because if it were, then in excess of 80% of our membership would be required to leave. Every one of us touches other outlying segments of the crossdressing universe. I refuse to define what crossdressing is because it just doesn’t matter. What does matter is leaning to be inclusive and painting over the labels to see our brothers and sisters as human, and to see them for their heart and not in judgement. There will always be subjective guidelines that our site must follow to maintain a protective environment for all, not just some. I don’t have the answers, but what I strive to be is accepting and compassionate. I’m far from perfect but I will continue to learn and adapt. I hope you will too.

See you next time in my little corner of the world…

More Articles by Sabrina (Brina) MacTavish

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Gabriela Romani
Managing Ambassador
Active Member
1 month ago

Brina,

You ARE accepting and compassionate!! And we are lucky you are the chief editor in CDH!

Love the idea of your having this new column, and look forward to read it daily! (Wait what? Do you mean you have a life and can’t write daily? 😉

Thank you for all you do!

Gabriela ♥️

Susan Sue
Duchess
Active Member
1 month ago

Thank you very much for your wonderful article. Thanks for your hard work. Susan.

Amy Myers
Baroness
Noble Member
1 month ago

Interesting start to your series, Brina. I do find myself in need of labels, in order to have some idea how I fit into all of this!
I strive to accept everyone, as at one time I’ve felt like an outcast as well, and to those that did accept me I’ve felt very grateful. So I try to return the courtesy.
I am looking forward to the next instalment!

skippy1965 Cynthia
Ambassador
Trusted Member
1 month ago

Lovely article Brina! I tend to agree with the thoughts of one of our early members (sadly no longer a member) who said :labels are for cans not people” and also likened our members to the different color crayons in a crayon box. I am honest enough to admit that there are some parts of the community that most definitely are not my cup of tea (I won’t specify them as I mean no offense to anyone) but I fully support them as valuable members whose lifestyles are no less valid than my own. I am similar to you in… Read more »

Stephanie Aston
Baroness
Active Member
1 month ago

Hi Brina
I loved your article and found it a very interesting read, in regards to labels, for me it was one of the main reasons for joining CDH, for most of my life I had been trying to understand what I was! But since joining and meeting and making so many new friends I now know who I am, I’m just Me and VERY happy to be so, and I certainly don’t need labels to tell me that.
looking forward to reading more of Brian’s Corner 
Stephanie x

Jackie
Ambassador
Active Member
1 month ago

Beautifully written Brina. Much of what you said here hit home, especially the clique part at school. I myself had like two closest friends for the longest time and in a rare few cases when they weren’t there I chose the loner status myself. I think your writing and messages in your writing will or already have a big impact on people identifying within themselves and how they came to be a member of the CDH society. There’s a message in all things that people say here in chat, articles, columns, profiles, groups and forums, we as in individuals just… Read more »

Sarah Kanter
1 month ago

Oh, this is right up my alley. I teach sociology and so I think and talk about this kind if stuff all the time. The problem I see with labels is that people aattach extra meanings and baggage to them. Its the idea that if you know one thing about a person, then you automatically think you know something else about them. Some think that if “x” describes a person, then “y” is an automatic given. This, in fact is part of the definition of racism, the idea that if I know your skin color (or whatever) then you know… Read more »

skippy1965 Cynthia
Ambassador
Trusted Member
1 month ago
Reply to  Sarah Kanter

This is so true. While each of us shares some traits-in most cases the desire to dress and appear feminine at least at timeS-we also have other divergent interests. I have seen some folks complain about chat discussions occasionally delving into “non-CD/TG issues” like sports or movies or relationship issues and I think this is a good thing as it illustrates your point that we each also have our full panoply of characteristics and that we can talk about things other than what. Plot undies we are currently wearing. We are people who enjoy differing gender presentations But still have… Read more »

Sarah Kanter
1 month ago

Glad you liked it! I’m up for a identity/philosophy discussion anytime!

Stephanie Green
1 month ago

Great column, Brina. Thank you.

Jeanny
1 month ago

Thanks so much for the great article Brina. I look forward to reading more from you dear. As the for the issue of labels, wish I had one that would describe all of us but I do not think we are all the same, so the general crossdresser label encompasses a grand spectrum of people who enjoy varying degrees of their own femininty.

Jeanny
25 days ago

You’re welcom Brina  

Claudia Newday
Member
1 month ago

Human Sexuality is and will become the next true paradigm shift and the most profound shift in human conduct the world might ever know.

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