Hi ladies. This article is written from the heart. It is in no way a reflection on other people’s views or motivations, although of course, many will be able to relate to what I am about to say, so here goes, this is my true to heart, testimonial of the wonderful site we all know and love, Crossdresser Heaven (CDH).
I joined CDH back in October 2018. Before that, crossdressing for me was a lonely, empty activity, all dressed up but nowhere to go. I had to hide everything I owned in a corner of my room and limited my activity to times few and far between. I so much wanted more, but it was truly impossible to do at the time. Years and years went by with the same old routine; underdressing, waiting for an opportunity to dress, the frustration slowly eating away at me. I so badly wanted to dress, but it was like being in a desert, dying of thirst, but no water available. Despair turned to sadness, and sadness turned to depression.
Then I found a miracle, well it was to me. I found somewhere I could go and be welcomed, and not feel isolated and alone anymore. It was Crossdresser Heaven. I must admit, I was very nervous at first, probably we all were at the beginning, but that was soon replaced by confidence and more importantly, happiness.
So. How does CDH differ from other sites? CDH is not a fetish site; here you have real people with real lives, and a real community offering top notch support, love and the biggie… acceptance! I never had that before; true, I never really tried, but I was sure I was the only one in the world who felt this way and that there was no way I could find a site that would answer the plethora of questions I needed to ask. I like the fact it is not a smutty, sexual site, the members here are loving, supportive and many will go on to become, I have no doubt, true friends of mine, wherever in the world you reside.
How has it changed me as a person? Well for one, it has given me a place to go. It’s like my second home. CDH has become a very important part of my life, as it’s not a fantasy; this is for real, a proper chatroom with real people with real issues, forums with great advice and members always at hand to help you with any problems you might have. I have become at one with myself, contented and satisfied. That in itself was great, but as time went on, I realized it was time to give something back. Now anyone that knows me, will say, I always give, I hate taking and not giving. CDH gave me the confidence to open up and start to talk, and from there I started to post.
At the end of the day, I am nothing special; I am just another crossdressing guy that seeks acceptance and love in what I do. I certainly have received that here, and in a way I do feel kinda special, certainly in the way that I have made friends and finally opened up. The truth is, we are all special here. We are like a family, happy in each others company, something we all strive for in our daily lives. Whether you are rich or poor, your race, color of your skin, it has no bearing, you are loved! And thats the end of it! I only wish society was as accepting.
CDH for me has also achieved another important thing. It has turned me into a more positive person. True, I do have my ups and downs, and I have posted some silly things in the past, saying I’m going etc. Strangely enough, it made me realize just how empty I would be if I did go. Not much chance of that happening! Without talking to other members here, I would not have realized how big the true picture really is. It certainly puts many things into context for me.
Where do I currently stand? Well, I am grateful that at least I have somewhere to go to share experiences, help members and gain and give support. My final goal is to finally meet someone at some point, although I have to say I am incredibly nervous about this! but I am positively sure, it will happen one day.
I hope that CDH has proved to be an important part of your lives too. Its a great place to get away from it all and embrace a positive atmosphere. The only negative is when I log out!
I end this with a gracious thank you to the owners of the site, and the ambassadors for their tireless support and welcoming, and last but not least, the members for making CDH what it is, true heaven! I wish CDH many more happy and productive years ahead 🙂 .
From a very grateful member,
Fiona Moss xxxxxx
More Articles by Fiona-Ann Moss
- Good to Be Back!
- Feeling like a caged animal…
- What Makes Fiona Tick?
- My trip down Crossdressing’s Rocky Road
Thank you, Fiona, for such a wonderful piece. I’m also a relative newcomer to CDH and I feel the same way you do.
Hi Carolyn. I am glad you enjoyed it! 🙂
You are so beautiful Fiona, thank you for being you. I know about the first time being scared stuff, tonight for the first time I am meeting up with one of the girls from the site. I was feeling very apprehensive at first, but not as it gets nearer I am feeling so much better to the positive side.
Thanks Jennifer, you sure know how to make a girl blush! it is kind comments like these, that make everything so worthwhile knowing I am giving pleasure and support to our members that need it. I try, but really, it is all of you, that have turned me into who I am, love and friendships go a long way! 🙂 and for that I am eternally grateful to all of you 🙂
Love you Fiona, I meet Michelle for the first time and we went to a cool bar she knows. It was a great time and although I was a little nervous at first, it wore off quickly. I now have a great new friend to go out with. I am so happy you are an ambassador, it is perfect. Keep being your sweet caring self.
hi Jennifer. Oh! dont worry! I will never change, I love you all too much! I may be an Ambassador, but i’m still Fiona at heart 🙂 and I will never forget my beginnings here. Love you too hun and thankyou!
Fiona xxx
My Sweet Friend Fiona, Hon, Your article brought a tear to my eye as I read it!! I Love how well you articulate and express your words and I feel your message coming from your heart. I for one am so happy I found both CDH and you as my friend. And I don’t mind telling every member of the website that I consider you my best crossdressing friend and Love you as a sister. You have been so supportive to me giving me advise, compassion and absolute acceptance. You have been there for me thru hard times and good… Read more »
Hi Bren, trust you to make me well up! seriously though, those are very touching words. I really try my hardest to make members feel special, because you all are. Everyone has their own little story to tell, many very touching, bordering on heart breaking. We all come together as one here, we are all involved in the same journey, some have gone further than others, some need guidance because they are going the wrong way! geez, turn me round three times, and I am lost! I am truly touched by yours and Nancy’s comments, I hope she is ok… Read more »
Hi Fiona thanks so much for your story it was so nice to read it and compare it with mine, since I found chd my life has taken on so much more, the people on here are so supportive of others like us and they don’t judge us like the vast majority of people who just see us as some sort of freak because we like to wear womens clothing, i like to say wear and not just dress up because if we could we would wear them every day, anyway Fiona i look forward to reading more of your… Read more »
Hi Rozalyne. This is indeed a very unique place. I feel safe here along with everyone else, I hope! 🙂 i’m so glad you enjoyed my article xxx
I’m sure many of us have had the same experience of years of loneliness followed by the joy of discovering that we do have a place to gather together. There are so many different reasons why we dress and so many ways in which we dress, but this is a place of acceptance, sharing and support.
Thank you Fiona for writing this lovely piece, and for being wonderful in general.
Ohhh Jasmine 🙂 yes, loneliness. It is a really horrible experience, similar to being stuck on a desert island with no human contact! we all need comfort and support along the way and company too! Awww i’m so touched by your words, i’ve never felt so loved, it really does want to make me cry, but tears of joy! thankyou xxx
great story of how you opened up to CDH. welcome to the wonderful site and its all true of what you wrote. i was afraid at first but then found friends to chat with and they all have been there and know what we are going though. its a rough road at first but then get easy. i started the same way on x dressing and now in my 50s i dress up allot more and under dress allot too. wife knows of my x dressing and tells me when i can dress up for we have a 20 year… Read more »
Hi Lucinda. It is wonderful to hear of another success story CDH has given. I feel the site is a lifeline for many, who would otherwise be lost, lonely, empty and despondent. Lol funny to hear of your large collection of femme clothes! they soon accumulate! xxxx
yes they do accumulate more and more, wife does not like me wearing her dresses so i went out and bought my own and i by more and more of them that i like and even bras and panties and pad and perfume. need more clip on ear rings and some heels to fit me better and colors to match my dresses. i need more skirts also but hard to find in my size i usually take a size 8, i have a size 10 but a tad to big
Thanks Fiona! You have put into words my feelings about CDH! It is a second home for me, and the members are family. I am not sure where along my road to self discovery I would be without the support, frienship and purpose this place gives. I imagine that it would not be as far as I have gone nor as far as I feel i will go. And you my dear sister are very special! I am glad that are here and look forward to answering and voting in your polls, reading your posts, and of course messaging each… Read more »
Hi Michelle, you are spot on! we are one big family and happy in each others company 🙂 . That means so much. I have had so many touching words and replies here that i’m going to be a sobbing wreck! I get so emotional, but for good reasons. Thankyou for your hugely touching words Michelle, I really feel loved. xxxx
Thanks for your moving words Fiona! I’m so glad you’re here, and thank you for stepping up to help serve the community even further! Hugs!
Vanessa 🙂 i’ve got this far to replying from the bottom up, ive got to your post, now i’m getting tears in my eyes! I dont know what to say! ive always looked at myself as ‘just Fiona’ because thats all I am! God knows, by the time I get to the top of the replies, i’m going to be sobbing my heart out! thankyou so much, i’m totally speechless with the kind comments and sheer love you are all showing. But it is not all about me, I want to give it all back! omg! ok…. onto the next… Read more »
Fiona………well said…you have come a long way. I am happy for you.
Dame Veronica
Hi Veronica 🙂 . Now I owe a lot of this to you. When I first joined, you were there for me, now i’m here for you. You are an inspiration for me which I shall never forget. Your words of wisdom have helped me to become ‘me’ and not some person hidden away in a corner somewhere. Thankyou so much Veronica, take care hun, love and kisses xxx
Fiona………..I am humbled by your comment. It seems the Student has become the Teacher. I personnally don’t deserve the credit you give me for what I have passed on to you for your considerations is the Sum of all that has been handed down to me by many others from many different countries and nationalities and life experiences where you have not trod yet on the path to Enlightenment. All my trials and tribulation upon that path are now revealed to me to be blessings….by you. It has all been worthwhile for me. Take what you now know and build… Read more »
lol Veronica, i’m still learning!! and typical of you, your too humble! 🙂
Still waters run deep. DVG
You’ve got it, Fiona. Thanks for your words. You can not say it better. I have changed for the better since I joined this wonderful community. It has been a great year. Our sisters here are the best. There is much love, friendship, support and understanding in this place. I had met great people here.
Cinnamon kisses for you Fiona.
I love you all.
Gisela
Hi Gisela, again, thankyou so much for your kind words and yes I feel the same way, you are all an inspiration to CDH! and never forget it! xxxx
Very well said. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Dayle 🙂 . Thankyou for taking the time to read it. I know I do ramble on sometimes! I appreciate your kind words. xxx