The following is a poem I wrote one day, as I was rationalizing about my crossdressing on New Year’s Eve.

Carolyn Kay’s – Closet Thoughts

Another year starts on this beautiful day, and if you read on I have something to say.

I have seen more than sixty of these days come and go, fifty-five of which I had a secret in my soul.


If this secret was to be known by those I love,
everything would change without help from above.

I would no longer be known as brother, friend, or Dad, but the person with a problem and that would be sad.

They wouldn’t understand that it still would be me, I just need to express what needs to be free.

Perhaps they would understand and that would be great, but the risk is too high so no action I will take.

So I will sit here with my family, friends and the one person who knows – my wife, and know this is how I must enjoy my life.

My secret I will keep way down inside, until I am alone and she can come out with pride.

I have a good life with lots of love to share, after all, this is my secret I just have to bear.

So another year starts with me feeling a little shame, because no one knows me by my other name.


  1. Are you currently deep in a closet with feelings of sadness or guilt resulting from your thrill of cross dressing?
  2. Do you have plans on coming out of that closet and sharing your cross dressing secret with others either inside your immediate or extended family members?
  3. Or would you feel more comfortable coming out of that cross dressing closet to someone who’s not a family member like with one of the sales ladies who sees you shopping on a regular basis or maybe even the person who cuts your hair on a regular basis? These type people may be much more accepting than family members who have known only the male version of your for many many years don’t you think?

Thank you for taking the time to read my poem about my “Closet Thoughts”.

Please feel free to send in a response to either my poem or one or more of the questions I’ve posed to you above. I would love to hear from you girls!

Sincerely, Carolyn



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    Carolyn Kay

    I have been crossdressing my whole life. Sure there have been those times when I fought it, purged, and then found myself buying more clothes. Probably 15 years ago I started to feel more comfortable with who I am. I am much happier now but still have limits I must adhere to. The friends I have made here on CDH have helped a lot.

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    3 years ago

    Very nice and thoughtful poem, I can see a lot of me in it. Thank you for sharing.

    Edna Jackson
    3 years ago

    Very nice Carolyn. I can fully emphesize

    Martina Klarc
    1 year ago

    Very Nice poem, & for me and I am sure many others very true ! Thank You !

    Trusted Member
    1 year ago

    what a great thought provoking and incite full poem.. As you know its very appropo for my circumstances with my wife… as I read the comments from other readers .. it was very timely… thanks for sharing my friend, Leonara

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