We got to the mall in KC, and went straight into Dillards. The plan was to find a nice summery dress that I could change into for the day. We shopped around a good 45 minutes or more before I found a few dresses to try, and my wife found a couple of dresses to try on as well. While we were walking around the women’s section, one of the sales ladies came by and said “Hello ladies! Are you finding everything okay?” We replied accordingly, and when she walked away, my wife said “Well THAT was great! You see? She called you a LADY!” I must admit, it made me feel wonderful, and boosted my confidence that maybe I was actually going to be able to pull this off.

We gathered our dresses and headed to the women’s dressing rooms. The lady there directed us to a couple of adjacent rooms without batting an eye. After trying everything on, my wife found a dress she liked, and I found the dress I wanted. We went to the register to check out, and my wife said “I’ll get you the dress for your birthday. While I’m paying, go back into the dressing room and put it on.” The lady at the register took the tag off for me, and I went to change. My heart was in my throat as I slid that silky satin white and navy pinstriped dress on over my hose and foundation garments. I couldn’t believe I was actually going to do THIS!

When I walked out of that dressing room and into the store with my wife, I’ve never felt so good! It felt like a whole lifetime of weight was lifted off my shoulders. I was so completely relaxed, and it felt totally natural. After we went back to the car to drop off her new dress and the clothes I had worn into the store, then headed back into the mall to shop some more. The first order of business – we both really needed to use the “facilities”! We headed to JC Penny and went straight to the restroom. I walked right into that ladies room like I owned the place, and did exactly what everyone does. I just used the restroom. There were other women in there, and nobody cared. I did my business, washed my hands, fixed my hair, had some conversation with my wife, and it was totally “business as normal” for everyone there. No stress, and I really didn’t think about it until I was walking out, but I had just used a ladies room for the first time! Another MAJOR benchmark event checked off!

En Femme Discover Woman Within

Heading back out into the store I found a short slip for me since my dress fabric was just thin enough to make out the color difference between my light bodysuit shaper and my hose. I also found a fabulous pair of feminine sunglasses, and a big wrap-style bracelet. We then checked out and went to lunch at the Mission Taco Joint in the Crossroads area near downtown KC. The early 20s male waiter treated us well, and we had a great time. Afterwards we walked to a local brewery and had some flights of craft beer. I made eye contact with every person in the room, and all I got was totally normal smiles and typical niceties… even after taking the mask off once we were at the table. We got called “ladies” again! I really felt like my make up must be working! We started having fun, even taking some pictures. Heading back to the car we drove south again to visit one of our favorite breweries, “Servaes” on Johnson Drive, which is owned and operated by women. Excellent, innovative business, and some of the best beer in the city. I had a nice conversation with the lady at the bar, and we thoroughly enjoyed the beer.

After the brewery, I was dying to try on more clothes, so we headed back near the mall to visit Nordstrom Rack. We searched for the most fun, outrageous outfits we could find to try on. I tried on a beautiful shiny blue formal gown, a blue jumpsuit, and another dress on my first trip to the dressing room. My wife found a gold sequin long-sleeved and full leg stretch jumpsuit that looked amazing! I wished they’d had one in my size! I went back out and found some black pleather leggings, a sparkly purple long-sleeved thong bodysuit, a white sleeveless mock neck shirt, and a biker jacket. After trying all those on in every combination, I decided I couldn’t live without the bodysuit and the leggings… plus they were on SALE, so how can a girl resist? I even engaged the dressing room attendant to settle a disagreement about whether the white shirt was too short to wear with the pleather leggings because my wife thought too much of my bottom was showing. The attendant agreed with me that the shirt was short, but I was rockin’ the pleather leggings enough that I made it look good. I took the compliment as a “win”!

We left the mall, had an uneventful dinner at Old Chicago, where they called us ladies again (grin!). Total number of times being called a lady for the day = 3. Total times being called by a male pronoun = 1, and that was by my WIFE! (She apologized, and we had a good laugh). We had a great talk on the long drive back home about an hour north of KC, and I just did not want the day to end. It was the most amazing birthday I’ve ever had, and I’ll never forget it.

AlsChristmasWish-cdh

My wife was amazing and was so supportive. All the people I met were wonderful, and although I couldn’t have a makeover, the day was everything I wanted it to be. I got to live a day as a lady, in a brand new dress that looked and felt so feminine, and my shoes didn’t hurt all day! I learned that I should have done this long ago, but also have given myself the grace to understand that I was probably not ready to do this until now. Had I made the attempt earlier, it may not have gone as well. I planned everything meticulously, and we worked the plan together. It turned out as well or better than I had dreamed, and so much better than I expected. I need to let it settle in for a bit, get my wig styled better, and start planning my next outing. The good news is, I finally have a beautiful new dress to wear!

and I got my bottle of scotch!

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Philma Bierstein

Mid-life, closeted except on special occasions.

Latest posts by Philma Bierstein (see all)

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Duchess
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Diane Crow (@dianecrow)
2 months ago

OMG, I almost cried envisioning your day play out! I am so so proud of you and your wife! I truly am. How delightful! How lovely! Thank you for describing it so wonderfully for us.
Big Giant Hugs to you both!
Diane

Duchess
Trusted Member
Diane Crow (@dianecrow)
2 months ago

I am with you. Let’s have a girls night out!!! Come to Atlanta!!
Hugs
Diane

Baroness
Trusted Member
Amy Myers (@amylove2dress)
2 months ago

What a wonderful day! I’m so glad it worked well.

Active Member
Marie Chandler (@mariec)
2 months ago

Thanks for sharing with us, Philma. What a wonderful day! A memory you’ll treasure forever. I really enjoyed all the details and reading it over 2 parts. I can’t wait to have an experience like this with my wife. Hopefully, this will be the first of many for you.

Member
Holly G (@holly-g)
2 months ago

This was so wonderful to read! I’m so happy for you, especially that you were able to share such a moment with your wife!

Member
Holly G (@holly-g)
2 months ago

I tried to go shopping in male mode this weekend while still wanting to try on some femme items and found out for the first time that all dressing rooms are closed!?! I was SO upset! My wife asked me last week if I could do anything in the short term, what would I want…I said I wanted to go shopping! I love going out en femme and trying on clothes! Unfortunately it’s always been very quick, so I told her I’d love a full day to go out and just shop, preferably with a friend. After I found out… Read more »

Duchess
Member
Sami Dee (@samidee)
2 months ago

Philma, thank you for sharing your story!!
Your descriptions of the day and how it all felt really are heart warming and offer other ideas for talking to spouses honestly about things.
I have struggled with that last part mightily at times in my past and hearing your words really gives me new insight and courage!
Thanks so much!!!
Sami

Duchess
Active Member
Terri (@terrim)
2 months ago

You are very lucky to have an accepting wife. I dont know how long she has known about your femme side. I have been going out enfemme on and off almost 40 yrs. My wife knows almost that long. She will have nothing to do with my femme side. I have accepted that. My advice to you is to go slow. Go at her pace. You sound like you have a great wife.

Carla Smith (@carla2see)
2 months ago

That was a great day for you, i understand how u feel, I have been excepted by my wife of 20 years also in the past few months, she thinks it’s great and enjoys sharing these times with me also.. no better feeling than being yourself around people you love. I have not been out in public but want to very badly. Hope mine day goes as well as yours. Thanks for sharing,,CS

Carla Smith (@carla2see)
1 month ago

I so want to, but need to find some G/F to go out with for support.. maybe someday i will have that feeling..

Carla Smith (@carla2see)
1 month ago

That sounds great, I will take you up on that offer.. Thank you. talk soon.

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