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I watch a lot of YouTube. Watching one of the stories on one of the crossdresser/trans sites I ran into a story that floored me. The story went that at a funeral as the family and friends were paying respects to a young man who had just passed. The story didn't say but it sounded like he was somewhere between 22 and 30. He died from a medical condition that he had all his life. As the service was beginning they had a large screen TV show a video from the departed young man. ONLY the screen showed a happy young woman. This is how he's came out to everyone except the few people who knew. There was stunned silence especially her parents and sister. Her dad went to back of the chappal where the 2 young ladys were and confronted them, wanting to get the whole story of his child.
Many of the friends and family suspected some of this and to some it was a complete shock. From the video you could see how being/becoming a woman made her so happy.
I was just about bawling at the end of the story. Partly because I had recently had a short discussion with my oldest daughter and told her when my time comes I would like to be buried as Cassie. But I also said that the funeral is for the living to remember their loved one. But that I would like to have a picture of me as Cassie as I go to my final rest.
Cassie
@loneleycd Cassie - what a way to come out! so heartwrenching. I am encouraged that you have such a close relationship with your daughter that you can share your wishes for how to be remembered. I too am coming to terms with my true persona and realize I may face a similar decision about what to share at the end. I take heart from your bravery.
Hugs
Evie
@loneleycd Cassie, thank you for posting this thread, lots to think about here. Firstly, as Evie says, how wonderful that you have that relationship with your daughter, that she can remember you happily as Cassie and as you were before.
Everyone in my life knows about Fiona, but as yet, of those who I might expect to still be around to remember me if things follow their natural order, only my sister has actually met me as I now normally present. My son and my partner's daughter have each met a different presentation to that. The common theme of all the different looks though is the big smile, which my male self rarely wore 🙂 As such, a picture reflecting that would seem a good idea.
Cassie, to be a CD is for many of us a lonely existence. While I respect your idea, I doubt that I personally would do what you suggest. My reasoning is this: After my passing I would not care any longer who found out about Genivieve. However since none of my family knows about her, to me it would be selfish to in any way take away from any relationships I might have with my family, kids, grandkids, and/or friends. For me, the likely negatives of coming out at my funeral vastly outweigh any benefits.
Genivieve
That is not only sad but thought provoking.
Thank you for telling us about it, Cassie.
Lynne
A very poignant post that will strike a chord with many here.
How sad is it that repercussions to being ones true self leaves you hiding in plain site yet only a chosen few know, if any at all. To choose a funeral is a strange place to come out but the individual is now free of any repercussions and makes the ultimate statement.
In some respects you have to feel for the family and friends as we will never know the reactions apart from the father wanting to know what this was all about. As some of the family had suspicions would some be wracked with guilt by not being able to address this, would others be horrified and besmirch her memory? We will never know but it remains a sign of the times that fear of repercussions are still very real, which is so sad in an alleged 'enlightened' world.
At least the young lady made her statement and clearly had happy times.
@ab123 My only comment to that is that she probably would have been even happier if she had told them before her death. To find a level of acceptance from family and friends toward your deepest self would be so rewarding to all.
I have to remember that this was a fictional story, but so well written that I could feel what the characters were going through.
The few people I would still like to come out to is 12 first cousins some of who live less than 2 hours away.
Cassie
Ladies, this is a really tricky one, and must have crossed all our minds. As you'll know, I don't really dress at all at the moment. But if I was no longer with my wife (which is not beyond the bounds of possibility), I think I would have to come out to my daughters. I would hate the thought of them sorting through my stuff and getting the shock of their lives. I mean they might be like 'go Dad' but equally they may be horrified. I'm certainly not coming out at my actual funeral 😂.
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
