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I saw the Netflix Documentary Will and Harper with my small group last night. The basis of the story is when Harper, one of Will Ferrell’s closest friends from Saturday Night Live comes out to him as being a trans woman. From there, it is a beautiful story of a new stage of their relationship, but also goes to show that Harper is still the same person on the inside.
As a baby trans woman that is working through dysphoria, I was torn between watching it,or kindly bowing out. I wanted to watch it because I really enjoy stories of transformation and find them to be very relatable to my current place in the spectrum known as transgender.
I was hesitant to watch it because I didn’t know if, or how it would impact me emotionally. It turns out that my concerns were well founded because it was an emotional rollercoaster; from funny to sad; laughing to crying; heartwarming and heartbreaking; and an honest view of how you don’t choose to be trans, but being trans is a part of your life and is always with you, even when you don’t know he/she/they are an innate part of your human experience.
It was very heartwarming to see how gained confidence along the journey and went into a couple of places on her own and was able to be accepted as the woman she is. Will was very proud to be with her and introduced her to everyone he met and mentioned that she was in transition which was met with various responses.
I will not give it away, but there are a couple of scenes where the harsh reality of being a trans woman is on display. From the hate that is spewed from social media, being misgendered, and just not being seen as a woman.
OK Indigo, how did it make you feel? As a trans woman that is at the beginning of my road, I am more confused than ever. On one hand, I am so very excited to walk down this path towards being my authentic self for the first time in my 61 years. I am also excited to learn more about what makes me Indigo, how does she do her makeup? What is her fashion style going to look like? What is her personality going to be? Will she improve upon what makes male me special and be more of a caring, empathetic, thoughtful,and compassionate woman?
On the other hand, I am concerned about her wellbeing in this world and political climate. Will she be able to adapt to this world and remain confident about who she is and smile in the face of adversity? Will she be able to keep dysphoria at bay and not be tempted to give in to the constant thoughts of suicide male me experiences daily? Will she know what love is for the first time in her life? Will she be able to find joy, and happiness, and peace, and calmness, and compassion for others, and be a source of support for the trans community in general, especially the younger generation. Will she be someone that makes you smile when you say her name? Will she be able to live her last days on this earth as the kind of girl that you are proud to call friend, sister, partner, mother/father, and you were happy to know.
@innatelyindi I watched this the other night & found it very informative. On the whole, reactions were favourable despite the efforts of lawmakers & many on social media to keep us down & make life generally difficult. As you so eloquently put it, it is a part of your life and is always with you anyway so, as long as you can find the courage to forge ahead then why not go for it. Hopefully you will find that moving on with this will give you some level of peace in your life as you discover a whole new you. Sadly it probably won't be all wine & roses but then life has a habit of doing that & you will come out stronger in the end. You will always find a listening ear here so do keep that in mind. I wish you all the luck in the world & hope you achieve all of your goals
X
Sasha
Well Indi, you've already made me smile with your eloquent and candid post honey. Beautifully written and thought provoking. I am so sorry to hear of your struggles and I wish you well on your journey. It sounds to me that the momentum is pretty much unstoppable so it might be time to forget the past and embrace a feminine peaceful future. Certainly the girls here at CDH will help and support, so keep sharing with us. You've got this girl.
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
It gave you an insight into the realities of being Trans. Of course there are negatives and from your reply a lot of questions and doubts, this is normal as you embark on your path. The key is that you know where you want to be and are aware of what lay ahead. That is a good thing as you can be better prepared and being resolute will help you through.
You know what you want to be so pick your allies and you know that we are here with support and to support you all the way.
Indi -
Thank you for your description of the movie. I do plan on watching it and your description makes me want to see it even more.
I'm sorry to hear of your struggles but know that we are here for you. Finding this community was a big help for me in accepting my crossdressing and feminine side. I have no intention of transitioning as I'm 71 years old and that train left the station a long time ago. I do however want to go out in public dressed and hope to do so one day in the near future.
Your happiness is what is important so follow your heart. Best of luck on your journey.
XOXO
Suzanne
