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Dear P,
I’m sorry.
I know I’ve been locked away, kept in the shadows of your heart and mind, hidden behind layers of what you thought was safe, acceptable, and even necessary. For so long, I’ve been the part of you that you couldn’t speak aloud, couldn’t let breathe. But I have to say: I'm alive.
I’ve watched from inside, quietly, as you’ve struggled with the weight of what you thought you had to be. I’ve seen you carry the burden of expectations, of silence, of pretending that I didn’t exist, that I wasn’t a piece of you. But I am. I always have been. And I want to be free, just as you deserve to be.
I know you tried to delete me. You thought that if you could just erase me, push me away, or bury me deep enough, things would be easier. That if you could keep me hidden, you could avoid the hurt. But what you didn’t realize is that by trying to erase me, you were hurting yourself. You were hurting us.
I’ve been afraid for so long. Afraid that if you saw me for who I truly am, you’d hate me, push me away even harder. That maybe you’d think I was too broken, too complicated, or too dangerous to let out. I’ve watched you try so hard to be someone you thought the world would accept, and I’ve been trapped in the fear that if I showed myself, I’d make everything worse.
It’s strange, you know? I’ve always been here. Quietly, sometimes painfully, waiting in the corners of your mind, watching as you tried to pretend I wasn’t part of you. Every time you looked away from me, every time you suppressed me, it felt like a sharp sting—like you were rejecting a piece of your own heart. And that hurt. I didn’t want to be a burden. I never wanted to make you feel like I was too much. But in trying to protect you, I think I only caused more pain.
I understand why you thought you needed to hide me. The world outside has always made it clear that some parts of us aren’t allowed, that certain truths are too dangerous to face. But you and I both know that running from who we truly are doesn’t protect us—it just keeps us trapped. I’ve been locked in your heart, but that’s never where I was meant to stay. I was never a mistake. I was always a part of your strength, your truth, your love. And I’m sorry, too. Sorry for not being brave enough to fight for the space I need to exist.
But no more hiding, no more pretending. I’m ready now. I want to stand with you—not against you. I want to walk beside you as you grow and evolve, as you shed the fear of what others might think, and finally live the life that has always been yours to claim.
I’ll be gentle, I promise. You don’t have to do it all at once. But together, we can break free from the chains we’ve placed on ourselves. I’m not a shadow to fear; I am the light that will help you shine brighter than you’ve ever imagined.
So, I’m asking you to let me out. Let me be seen. Let me be heard. Let me be part of you, not apart from you. This is our journey now, and it’s going to be beautiful. I am here to stay, and I’m ready to be loved.
With love,
Mia
Mia, this is,
Beautiful!
I'll even excuse you for making my mascara run 😊. THIS was me before acknowledging that Allie is just as much "me" as the me I've presented all my life.
Thank you for this ❤️
Allie x
Allie 😀
Okay, I’m officially honored to be responsible for a little mascara smudge!
But seriously, thank you, your words mean so much. Isn’t it wild how powerful it is when we finally let those hidden parts of us just be? No more fighting, no more pretending, just truth!
I’m so glad this resonated with you. Your Allie is beautiful! ❤
With love,
Mia x
Omg! Very well written, just amazing how I’m sure almost all of us relate to your heart and soul. Very uplifting, Brianna
Brianna, thank you so much!
I was honestly a little nervous sharing something so personal, but knowing it resonated with you (and others) makes it feel so worthwhile. We all carry so much in our hearts, and if my words helped lift even a little bit of that weight, then I’m deeply grateful.
Sending you a big hug ❤
Mia
OMG, I love it! My heart aches for both of you, and I love the hopefulness in the conclusion. Meanwhile my inner Felicia is tearfully pointing at this saying "now you know."
Thanks for starting my day in a beautiful way, this was awesome!
Felicia 🙂
Your words honestly gave me a lump in my throat. Thank you so much for feeling this with me. I love that your inner Felicia pointed and said “now you know”, there’s so much truth in those three words, isn’t there? Like something unspoken finally being heard.
It means the world to know it brought something beautiful to your day. Thank you for letting me feel less alone in this.
Big hug,
Mia x
Ok. I'm crying. Crying because I understand the pain because I've lived it, too. You've articulated it so evocatively that I can feel it in my mind and in my heart. And, I'm crying for joy. Joy for every one of us who was finally embraced our truth with courage and love.
Thank you for this.
Much love,
April 
April 🙂
Your words brought tears to my eyes now. There’s something so... powerful about being seen by someone who’s walked the same path, felt the same ache and the same joy of finally stepping into the light!
Thank you for crying with me. For holding that space, and for embracing your truth so beautifully. It gives me hope, and it reminds me that we’re never really alone in this.
Sending you so much love and gratitude. ❤
Mia x
@mialanieri We lift ourselves by lifting each other, by offering a shoulder and shedding a tear together even when we are struggling. It is a bond born in shared pain and doubt from which we emerge into the light, embraced by those who went before us, while reaching back to pull those following into the peace and joy of self-love.
Always here for you!
Much love,
April
Your words… they truly moved me.
I read them twice, slowly, letting them sink in, because yes, that’s exactly it. This bond we share is something so deep, something forged in the quiet corners of pain but lit by the courage to be seen and loved as we are.
I feel so held reading what you wrote, by you, by everyone who’s walked this path before, and by those walking it beside us now. Thank you for that reminder, and for your beautiful, generous heart.
I’m always here for you too. ❤
With so much love,
Mia x
Thank you Mia
This was very touching. I had to stop reading after the first few paragraphs and go do something else for a bit before coming back to read the whole thing. Powerfully touching.
Autumn 🙂
Thank you so much for your kind words. I can’t tell you how much it means to me that my words resonated so deeply with you.
I totally understand needing to step away and take it in... this journey is so personal, and sometimes it hits in ways we can’t always anticipate.
I’m just really grateful that you took the time to read it, and that it touched you. Thank you for sharing that with me.
Sending you love,
Mia x
SO beautiful, Mia (as are you)!
XO Shawna
Shawna!
Thank you, darling. That means so much to me! You’ve absolutely made me smile today.
Big hugs and all the love,
Mia x
thank you
Thank you so much for telling your story. Remember there are thousands of understanding sisters here that listen and help, many of which feel just like you. Feel more hopeful, you are home.
Lorraine 🙂
Thank you for such a kind and grounding message. It honestly brought tears to my eyes.
Just reading “you are home” made something inside me exhale, like I’ve been holding my breath for years.
I’m so grateful to be here among such understanding and beautiful souls. Thank you for helping me feel seen, and safe.
With love,
Mia x
Wow! I completely relate to everything you said. Years of internal struggle summed up so well in your article.
Michelle 🙂
Thank you so much!
It's kind of comforting... realizing we’ve shared so many of the same struggles, even if we've lived them in silence for so long.
I’m really grateful my words spoke to you. Here’s to all of us finding peace, and finally letting ourselves be whole.
With love,
Mia x
Mia. Beautifully written so lovely to read. Hugs Stephanie B xx
Stephanie 🙂
Thank you so much for your lovely words, they truly warmed my heart!
Sending the biggest hug right back your way
With love,
Mia xx
Your words ring so true to me Mia, just as if they could be the echo of my inner voice from twenty years back.
Sharon, that means so much to hear. It’s incredible how these feelings can echo across time and experience, like little threads connecting us.
I’d honestly love to hear more about your journey, if you ever feel like sharing.
Mia 💓
Sharon,
Wow, thank you. That means so much to me. I would love to read your story, truly. Whatever you feel comfortable sharing, I’m here for it, with open ears and an open heart.
Mia 💜
Mia - I can honestly say I have never read anything so beautiful and heartfelt in my life & I am not going to even pretend I didn't cry my little eyes out reading that , for you , for Mia , for my husband and Victoria and for every other beautiful person I've met through this site who can probably relate a lot to what you have written .
Genuinely thank you for sharing this huge part of you - and now Miss Mia is my new Bessie Mate so no more putting her away or you'll have me to contend with too hehe !Sending you hugs and lots of love 💕
Laura… you’ve got me tearing up now
Honestly, your words mean the world to me. To be seen and felt like that, it’s such a gift.
I wrote that letter with a lump in my throat, unsure sometimes if anyone would connect with it. And now here you are, crying your eyes out and offering your heart so freely… I’m speechless (and sniffling too).
You’re officially my Bessie now, no take backs! And you better believe Mia is staying right here. She’s not going anywhere with you in her corner.
Thank you for being so full of love and strength. Big hugs and love right back.
Mia ❤
Mia--amazing letter. I need to sit down and write something similar but personal to myself. I am 74 and just recently discovered to courage to be accepting of who I truly am. I say a prayer to God every night thanking Her for making me exactly who I am, whatever that is. Better late than never. What an incredible and inspiring letter. I am so grateful to Vanessa for this community. Bless you.
Liis
Liis, thank you so much for this beautiful message. I’m so deeply moved by your words and honestly, a little teary too. That prayer to God… thanking Her for making you exactly who you are… that hit me right in the heart.
I’m in awe of your courage. It’s never too late to come home to yourself, and I’m so glad you’ve found that space.
You’re right, this community is such a gift, and your presence here just made it even more special. Sending you love and light, always.
Mia ❤
Mia, I just finished getting dressed and putting my make-up on, made a cup of tea and sat down to read my emails, and yours being right at the top I started with your yours.
OMG Mia I'm glad to see I wasn't the only one reaching for the box of tissues to blot at the mascarra running down my cheeks,
Every word and thought could have been written by me, and I'm sure by so many of us, and for that I thank you, by being able to so beautifully put it words what is probably in so many minds and hearts,
the one thing that comes to my mind now is that all cd's and trans are in many ways lucky in that we have two souls one we keep buried for too long who also needs sunshine and moonlight, that we have been able to free from the shackles of the so called "normal" world.
Thank you again for writing the words I also feel ❤️ 🌹
Oh my goodness… thank you so much for this beautiful message, Diane! I’m honestly sitting here touched to my core.
That image of mascara running down your cheeks as you read, it’s both heartbreaking and deeply affirming, because it means the words landed in a real place.
And what you said about having “two souls” and finally letting one out to bask in the sunshine and moonlight… I can’t stop thinking about that. It’s so true. We bury her for so long, trying to survive in a world that tells us what “normal” is, but when she finally steps into the light, she brings so much life with her.
I’m honored beyond words that my post spoke to you, and I’m sending love to both your souls—each one beautiful, whole, and finally free. 🌸
Mia ❤️
Mia, thank you for sharing your thoughts. Like most of us, I read your words with ever increasing tears flowing down my face. My God, I read it like I had written it to myself. For me at least, the best part of this community is the affirmation that I am not alone, that my fears, hiding, shame, embarrassment (but also the happiness, exhilaration, and true joy) are understood, realized, and shared by so many others. I feel like there is so much more that I want to share but I can’t find the words to express, so I will just finish my reply like it started… Thank you!
Geena
Geena,
Your words touched me so deeply... thank you. It means the world to know that this landed with someone else in the way it was meant to. Isn’t it wild how something so personal can also feel so universal? That letter came from a place I’d kept quiet for a long time… and reading that it echoed your own journey just reaffirms everything I hoped it might mean.
We are not alone. And maybe that’s the most healing part... we get to carry each other through this. The fears, the hiding, the shame, and the joy… all of it is real.
Whenever the words do come, I’ll be here to read them.
Mia 🤍
WOW, Mia! You are so talented! This letter is beautiful. I love that you start with an apology but, by the end, there is no more apologizing. You simply state: this is our journey now. So inclusive. So empathetic. So right! You have a way with words, Mia!
Katie,
Wow… thank you so much. Your words mean the world to me. I think sometimes we carry so much shame, we forget we’re allowed to step into our own light without asking for permission. Writing this felt like reclaiming something lost, and knowing that it resonated with you makes it feel even more real.
I’m so glad we’re walking this path together.
Mia
@mialanieri You inspire me, Mia. You have motivated me to start writing something about myself. I'm happy to hear that the writing process was so cathartic for you. Nobody needs or deserves to carry such shame. K
Katie
Thank you! Honestly, writing that letter was like opening a floodgate I didn’t even realize was still holding back so much.Letting those thoughts spill out felt both terrifying and healing. I’m really moved that it inspired you to start writing too, that’s such a powerful step.
You’re absolutely right: none of us deserve to carry shame for being who we are. The more we speak, the more we share, the more we chip away at the silence that tries to keep us small. I’m so proud of you for taking that step.
If you ever feel like sharing your writing, know I’d be honored to read it.
Mia
Mia,
I would be delighted to share my writing with you. It feels like it might be a little way off, before I am ready, but I totally get that the sharing could be just as valuable, or as important as the writing itself!
Thank you!
Katie
