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Are you willing to feeel goood?
In the past, I have used being authentic as an excuse for feeling dark n twisty.
I use the word authentic because there are so many labels used to describe and categorize and compartmentalize who we are or not. If we are to choose a label for anything, we first must set out the guidelines of what qualifies that anything as a good 'fit' for our category or compartment.
I recall a visit to a friend’s home some time ago and although we had a truly wonderful visit, some comments were made that left me asking myself am I trans enough to be transgender, or am I a crossdresser, gender non-conforming? Just a side note, the label Trans is an umbrella term used to describe a wide range of rainbow tribe members in our society.
This is not about being trans though, it’s about labels, and how we choose to feel in any given moment.
Trans, gender different, fat, thin, tall, short, plumber, doctor and contractor are all labels we use for identification; oh, she’s an accountant or he’s a nurse.
Labels are tossed around and used every day on our tiny blue planet, and they are simply that, labels. Categories and compartments we set up to find a place where we feel like we 'fit in'; labels are our way of feeling like we have belonging, but is that true authenticity?
Belonging is the feeling of being a part of something bigger than the self as I understand it, yet to conform or change oneself so that we fit into a label or group, then we are not being truly authentic.
True authenticity is the courage to stand alone while having a strong sense or knowing that we are a part of something much bigger.
The catch 22 here is that we often use labels to keep ourselves small and stuck. We become addicted to feeling powerless or like a victim. For the most of my life I have unwittingly used self-descriptive labels for this purpose.
This week, ponder this a bit and notice that really, everyone is unique and different, and to be truly happy and at peace on the inside we must let go of the labels and make a new choice. Any time we are trying to fit into a group, we must follow the group guidelines and therefore we lose some of our authentic self in the process of trying to fit in.
If we resist feeling goood, we are in fact choosing to feel miserable or to stay stuck; it is a choice. By choosing to belong to myself, I can joyfully support groups, but also sustain the natural authenticity that is me.
Are you willing to feel goood by dropping the labels, belonging to your self, and be seen by the world in your true authenticity? I am. . .
Thank you for reading Your Weekly Reset and thank you for being exactly who you are lovelies!
Namasté
n huggles for you
Char
I love your article very much. It is so true about labels I myself would like to be known as Sara.
Well it is a pleasure to meet you Sara, and thaaankyou so much for posting dear.
I wish you wonderful things always
Namaste'
n huggles
Char
I totally get why "labels" are such a big deal. I've been trying to explain to my therapist for 3 weeks how even though I'm not technically "full time" I still haven't left the house since before college without at least having a non-padded bra on. He thinks that determines that I'm "trans" according to "the book" but I'm really just ME, and I just feel incomplete without something holding my boobs up comfortably. Anyway, my constant bra wearing technically makes me more feminine according to science, so yay!
hahaha yeah it's so crazy making to find the label that fits rather than just laze a new label haha fek em all I say, I'm just me and the world can figure out what label they choose haha it matters not to me any more haha
Namaste' sweet soul, thank you for adding to our comments, I am grateful dear.
Huggles for ya 🙂
Char
I am trying hard to be Me. I’m fascinated by labels and words and find them usefully descriptive and helpful for communicating concepts and ideas. They give structure and alignment between elements. But there comes a point when they no longer serve, they suddenly seem clumsy and inappropriate. Labels are like primary colours everyone understands them but I’m like that blue or is it green , it’s soft but distinctive difficult to describe and different to different people. I was writing something on here the other day and described myself as he and she in the same sentence and it made sense.
However there are limits to authenticity. I live in a long term very loving relationship and though she encourages me to be myself I know sometimes it’s hard for her. I soften myself to her moods and my mood is tempered by the lessening of me . We adapt to change and seek not only to be authentic but to find and finally understand fully what that is. To fix the real me because we fear that change may continue until everything important is torn apart.
Hugs
Lisa xxx
Thanks for posting Lisa, yeah its a heady path we're on for sure. I love a verse from a course in miracles; "nothing has meaning except the meaning I give to it"...I've pondered that a million times if once, and now see it as a truth because what one thing means to me is different than what it means to any one else on the planet...
I have also come to the conclusion that nothing needs to be fixed. It is the very idea that something is wrong, that is the issue; the idea of duality, this or that...there is no right or wrong, those are both opinions
I simply Am...
The less I tried to be anything and simply allowed my inner self to express visibly, thee was no trying. Over coming fear, negative self talk and programming of limiting beliefs yes, but not trying to be this or that, no, its more of an allowing the expression to rise up and be seen as safely as I possibly could...and Am hehe
Make sense Hon?
Thanks for being you Lisa T
Namaste' n huggles dear
Char
I understand and agree. It takes time to be yourself. To copy an icon is easy as you can see an example and mimic but being yourself is harder it’s finding and expressing what feels right to you.
Namaste
Lisa xxx
Riiight? it's a process of deciding and choosing; repeat.
Or maybe, everyone could create their own label and saturate the market haha, someone would still try to "fit in" though, instead of create a space hehe.
The more I waken to truth the more fun life is. . .
Namaste' my dear
I wish you great big grins hehe
n huggles of course
Char.
Yes, labels are used by others to pigeon hole us. I am a cross dresser but that is a broad term with many varieties. I dress to present as a woman. Then I am a transvestite. No, that implies that I am a drag queen. I am not dressing over the top to entertain or shock, I dress to present and live 24 hrs as a normal woman. Then I am transgender wishing to become a woman. No, the male part remains and there is no desire to be rid of him. That leaves transsexual. A tough label to define but in my own definition possibly the best. I am dressing, presenting and living 24/7 as a woman but the male remains a part of me. She is the focus of my life but he still has influence.
All of this then brings up sexuality. It is always stated that gender expression and sexuality are seperate but keeping that separation is impossible. "Normal" society always seems to gravitate to sex, as cross dressers we tread lightly when this topic comes up. We wish to focus on emotional behavior but we must acknowledge and discuss the physical.
Of course one of the first beliefs of others is that if I dress as woman I am gay. No, I still like women for relationships. Then I am a lesbian. Only partially correct, as a woman I like women but the man inside likes women also. Then I am bisexual. Here's where the labels totally fall apart. No, bisexual implies that today I wish to be with a woman and tomorrow I will be with a man. My desire is to be with a woman as both a woman and a man at the same time. There is no label for this, it is just me but with two sides to one desire. If a label would make society comfortable I would propose "Cosexual", male and female at the same time while with a partner. Oh no! Another letter for the rainbow umbrella. Ugh! My head hurts.
In the end I want to be me. A woman first with a man tagging along. Someone who wants love and acceptance just like anyone else.
Beth
Beautifully said Beth, thank you so much. I've been in a small town called Cogneto up here in Canada, haha in-cogneto?
anyway, Feeling the urge to write some more so maybe some new articles soon hehe
Namaste'
sweet soul, and hugles
Char
