Becca is "Out" at l...
 
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Becca is "Out" at last

44 Posts
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Posts: 1277
Topic starter
(@rebeccabaxter)
    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago
wpf-cross-image

Well, finally, Becca has gone out in public! This is the story from the very beginning.

Over the years, I've often thought about what it must be like to be a woman. Occasionally, at home, I have put some female items on and strutted about in them, in private, and no one knew. In truth, it was more of a sexual thing and the clothing was fetish in nature.

That was several years ago, and having become much older, sexual gratification is not a priority anymore, but I retained my interest in women's clothing. Last September (2023), my wife went to India on a solo holiday (we don't like the same things, so we go separately.) While she was away, I saw a boho skirt for sale on Amazon that looked rather comfortable and thought, “Why not?” It arrived the following day, and I wore it every day at home for seven days straight. When my wife returned from her holiday, I stopped, but it kept calling to me. So, I told her, and she said to go put it on then.

It made me a little self-conscious initially, but I persevered and started feeling comfortable. Now, one thing led to another, and I became more interested in wearing other female garments. Mentioning it to my wife started the ball rolling. There were a couple of months when I had a cancer scare that it fell on the back-burner (the results came through OK) and it was back on the table again.

I wore more and more feminine stuff, ordered more from the internet, and even went shopping for items in person. I purchased several dresses, skirts, tops, underwear, and wigs. I bought breast forms, hip pads, and makeup. I dressed in the house and my wife helped me with my makeup, and it was all very satisfying...up to a point. It was all very well wandering around our small cottage, but I couldn't ignore the fact I wanted to go out and about! Then, I did!!!

I planned it over a few days. I was going to get dressed, and we would head for a relatively remote part of Looe in Cornwall called Hannifore Point. People go there and watch the seabirds and take the sea air. I thought it would be ideal.

Unfortunately, I woke up that morning and Becca had gone from my head, I lay in bed wondering what the hell I was doing with myself, dressing in women's clothing and prancing around in public, how bloody daft was that. On rising from the bed, things started to change and I was up for it again -- I thought.

I asked the wife if she was still ready to go with me and she kinda said she was, but I sensed trepidation. I showered, shaved, and put makeup and everything else on, I sneaked into the car (parked on the street) and off we went.

Now it may have been serendipity but as we approached Looe, there was a sign saying the road was closed and we would have had to go a long way round to get to our required spot. I had second thoughts about going to a mostly deserted part of the town, I mean what would be the point, it wouldn't prove anything, no, I had to go where there were people. I diverted again and went to a small out-of-town shopping area. It was very quiet, and no one paid the blindest bit of notice; I was impressed with myself. We didn't stay long. On the way back to the car, I suggested we go somewhere else. That’s when the wife's reservations came through and she said she'd rather give it up for the day as she was apprehensive about what might happen. We went home, but while parked outside, I stated that I still wanted to go out. She said, “Go for it.”

I thought in for a penny in for a pound and headed to Plymouth, the biggest city around here. I parked in the multi-story and stepped out in public armed only with a determined attitude. The pedestrian exit from the car park put me in the public eye right at the top of the vast atrium. I watched people to see if they were watching me. I really didn't see any untoward glances, most people didn't take notice of me over anyone else.

I went in shops, looked at women's clothing, window-shopped jewelry, and sniffed some perfumes. I stopped for a coffee and watched all the other people. Sitting there, I realised there were the odd second glances at me but again, nothing worrying. I'd ordered my coffee in my own voice as there was no point trying to disguise it, however, the server either didn't notice or didn't care.

After my coffee, I browsed in a bookshop, and it was there I had my first genuine interaction with someone who wasn't behind a counter. I picked up a book to read the back cover and suddenly a woman, a shop assistant, appeared in front of me. She pointed at a nearby customer and said, (and at this point, I thought bad things were going to be said here, someone had taken offense at my mode of dress) "The lady over there just told me that she had gotten three-quarters of the way through that book you're holding and can hardly put it down, it was that good."

Relief washed over me. We had a conversation about the book, and I duly took it to the counter to purchase. The assistant at the counter asked me if I wanted a bag then said that I had bought two "books of the month" and was entitled to free coffee in their shop. I told her I'd just had one so she noted it on the receipt and said I could have the coffee any time during February. She then asked, "Shall I give you a receipt for each book so you can have two coffees at different times, or shall I put two coffees on one receipt?" She added, "I thought I'd ask as I didn't want to make any assumptions."

I presume the assumption was between me being a lone cross-dresser who would be back on my own or that there was someone else. I told her two on one receipt would be fine as I would probably come in with my wife later in the month. I headed back to the car, my heels noisy on the wooden floors. I hardly noticed, my mind relishing that Becca had gone out in public; Becca had finally done it.

My confidence was such that next time, I would probably wear a dress rather than trousers. What I'd hoped for came true. I have far more confidence with people as Rebecca than I do with my real persona.

If you have doubts about going out, dispel them. Try to emulate a woman as far as you can but unless you are very feminine, you will be seen as male but, as I found out today, it probably won't matter.

Becca can't wait for next time!

 

Cheers

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43 Replies
17 Replies
Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3991

Posted by: @rebeccabaxter

I really didn't see any untoward glances, most people didn't take notice of me over anyone else.

I stopped for a coffee and watched all the other people. Sitting there, I realised there were the odd second glances at me but again, nothing worrying.

That's the thing. Most people are busy with their own day. Daydreaming, parenting, going somewhere, friends, etc. They don't look up let alone look around.

Sideways glances don't hurt. If you are with someone, you have a bit of distraction or cover. Being alone, you may stand out more, but how much more?

In my own experience, some teenagers, children, and matrons sitting at a mall while people watching were the main ones who noticed me. Oh, and someone on a bus (confined space) who had been drinking.

Congratulations, Rebecca! Onward and upward.

 

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(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1277

Thank you Harriette,

Yes, I think being on my own, especially when sitting in the coffee area -- which was only separated from the shopping atrium by a low, temporary wall -- did kind of put me on a kind of watchable platform.

Reply
Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2155

@rebeccabaxter Well done you, Becca! I take my fascinator off to you, girl, and I'm inspired to do the same (but not to Cornwall). 

My wife is supportive but not that much...so far. It's something I'll work on over this year.

Anyway, congrats again.

Allie x

Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1277

Alexina,

Hope you can bring the wife around, although accepting, my own wife is still a work in progress.

Reply
Ambassador
(@lucyb112)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Staffordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1004

@rebeccabaxter 

Great article. 

It really is surprising how little attention people pay to you isn't it. I was amazed. I was expecting a few sniggers, or even pointing at me, but none of it happened.

It's also surprising how much more you end up doing than you intended. A walk in a secluded coastal town becomes shopping and having coffee. 

Well done!

Hugs

Lucy x 

Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1277

Thanks for reading, Lucy,

I was going to go out again last week but it was school holidays in the UK and kids can be pretty awful when in a gang so I didn't risk it.

Reply
Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@rebeccabaxter 

What a wonderful experience for you, Rebecca, and how wonderful of your wife to be so supportive and encouraging. She's worth her weight in gold.

I especially love the interaction you had with the bookshop assistant about the coffee. Very thoughtful and considerate of her. LGBTQ+ features in a lot of customer service training these days, and it's good to see it put into action effectively.

Great article, thank you for sharing!

Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1277

Further to the bookshop thing. I haven't had time to read the book that was mentioned but my wife has and it is indeed very good, she says. FYI The book is called The Cloisters by Katy Hays

Reply
Lady
(@jillannquinn)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Reno, Nevada, United States of America
Posts: 627

@rebeccabaxter Congratulations Becca!!! Mustering up that much courage is awesome! I'm very happy for you. I hope you get to go out again very soon and I'm sure your story will inspire others to find their courage as well. It's completely worth it! 

Hugs, Jill

Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1277

Thanks Jill,

Hopefully going out VERY soon and will post here when it's done.

Reply
Lady
(@jillannquinn)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Reno, Nevada, United States of America
Posts: 627

@rebeccabaxter I’m looking forward to reading about your next adventure!

Reply
Lady
(@jwhite)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Fort Collins, Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 159

@rebeccabaxter Congratulations! Many thanks for sharing your wonderful story. We're looking forward for many more stories!

XXX

Jamie

Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1277

Thanks Jamie,

I'm sure there will be more to report soon.

Becca

Reply
Duchess
(@loneleycd)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     Roland, Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 2147

@rebeccabaxter So happy for you Becca.  That first time is hard, but afterwards so satisfyng.  Don't be suprised though if the next time the fear of being 'outed' overwelms you and you chicken out. I know for me it is a rollercoaster, super brave one day , just not worth it the next.

.  Cassie

Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1277

@loneleycd 

And today, that's exactly what happened (mostly)! See my post that will be up shortly.

 

 

Reply
Lady
(@joanarbour)
Joined: 9 years ago

Reputable Member     Missoula, Montana, United States of America
Posts: 169

@rebeccabaxter such an awesome story, thank you for sharing.

Reply
(@sjohnson)
Joined: 3 years ago

Trusted Member     South East Wisconsin, Wisconsin, United States of America
Posts: 42

@rebeccabaxter I love your story, I totally remember the first few times I dressed up and went out in public with my late wife, It was exhilarating.

 

Reply
Posts: 1443
(@finallyfiona)
    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Becca, wow! .... congratulations, I'm so pleased for you 🤗  What a wonderful experience!  I really enjoyed reading it all, mentally urging you on and when you decided to 'go hard not go home' I could have cheered 🙂  You look lovely too, completely believable in that outfit, I can imagine there weren't many second glances.  What an encouragement for those of us yet to follow in your footsteps!  Thank you hon, this has made my day 😊 

Big hugs,
Fiona xxx 

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1 Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1277

Thanks Fiona,

I have better outfits but for a first time out I thought a pair of trousers might not feel so different to me; of course the shoes are not exactly male.

Reply
Posts: 4
(@samanthaxxx)
Active Member     London, London, United Kingdom
Joined: 12 months ago

Lovely story I hope it gives encouragement to others

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Posts: 1620
Baroness Annual
(@secretpassions)
Noble Member     Wisconsin, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

Such an awesome positive experience! Thank you for sharing this.

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Posts: 3402
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

You didn't only break the ice you melted it completely Becca. I can understand the apprehension of your wife as it was as much an unknown as for you so she did well too. As for the rest it is a great achievement, all those fears dropping away one by one and possibly achieving as much in a day as some would achieve in a year or more.

You looked very presentable and clearly the confidence was great too. Good that you have shared to perhaps inspire others. Thank you.

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1 Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1277

Tomorrow, I go out in a dress rather than trousers, so the fears are piling up again; onward and upward thought.

Reply
Posts: 811
 Leah
Baroness
(@leah63)
Noble Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

awesome, Good for you! I have been out, but not had any interaction with anyone in public other than going dressed up to a counseling session. She is a huge advocate and helping deal with my guilt and shame and become more comfortable and accepting of my dressing.

Reply
1 Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1277

Baby steps, Leah, perhaps you'll get there in the end if that's an aim for you.

Becca

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Posts: 209
Lady
(@lillie)
Reputable Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

Glad you had a good time. Never done what you have done, only out in our yard. Maybe someday.

Reply
2 Replies
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1277

Your site photos seem to show you as being more than presentable and capable of getting out there without untoward attention. Give it a go one day soon.

Becca

Reply
Lady
(@lillie)
Joined: 4 years ago

Reputable Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 209

Rebecca, thank you for liking the photo. I would like to, being able to dress is nice, wife would freak, if something would happen while out. She does not like it when I do my toes in fear someone we know will see. On another note, she is losing weight, and she gives me everything that does not fit her. I would dress 24/7 at home if I could, but that would be too much for her.

Lynne

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Posts: 506
Lady
(@raven188)
Prominent Member     Idaho, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Congrats! it's fun to get out, and realize that most people are pretty accepting. I always get a look or two, but most of the time people interact with me just as they always do.

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1 Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1277

Sarah,

We are bound to be 'clocked', it's in the nature of things, it's how people react that is important.

Becca

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Posts: 210
(@stardust)
Estimable Member     Seattle, Washington, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

Becca, I am so happy for you, and your newfound “freedom”, freedom to express your authentic self. Congratulations!!! Great article, btw, inspiring and authentic!
Hugs
Jules

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3 Replies
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1277

Thanks Julie, it was fun -- after the first few minutes of abject fear! 🙂

Becca

Reply
(@stardust)
Joined: 4 years ago

Estimable Member     Seattle, Washington, United States of America
Posts: 210

Understand, as I’ve “been there done that” as well. But once your “girl” experiences that freedom, there is no stopping her. Right? Right!
Hugs
Jules

Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1277

@stardust 

Let's hope so 🙂

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Posts: 468
Lady
(@krisburton)
Prominent Member     The Hub City, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

Sounds like a wonderful first experience Becca - and I think you have already discovered what a wonderfully addictive experience it can be! In my estimation there is no better way to turn a mundane experience into a memorable one. Best wishes to you for future fun and rewarding memories!

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1 Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1277

@krisburton 

I'll try to keep it going, more nervous for the next one than I was for the last.

Reply
Posts: 189
Guest
(@Anonymous 93795)
Estimable Member
Joined: 1 year ago

I am so happy for you Becca! Such an enjoyable story- thank you for sharing. You are a pro now- I cannot wait to hear about your outing in a dress and rooting for you all the way.

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1 Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1277

@chanel 

Outing in a dress may take longer than I imagined but I'll get there eventually.

Reply
Posts: 126
Lady
(@meeshelle)
Estimable Member     Levittown, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

Great story. Very encouraging and inspiring. I’ve driven and walked around large parking lots but not really interacted with anyone. I believe my wife would react as yours did. So that is encouraging too.
Thanks.
Lizzie

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Posts: 332
(@tubbydullard)
Honorable Member     Citrus hills, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

IF, YOU HAVE ANY DOUBTS ABOUT GOING OUT IN FEMME, DISPELL THEM ! LOVE YOU SAID THAT.
IM WEARING SKIRTS EVERY DAY NOW, AND IN PUBLIC.
LOVE BEINF A GIRL/WOMAN, what I feel inside is stephanie.

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Posts: 163
(@hvdt)
Estimable Member     Groningen, Groningen, Netherlands
Joined: 6 years ago

Fabulous, enjoy that moment in your head over and over because it never happens twice. The feeling of elation, fright and achievement never comes back, it becomes normal.
I grew up in Plymouth, Plymstock actually but have lived in the Netherlands for 30 years or more. I used to go to Looe and Polperro regularly.
I understand that there is quite a support scene in Plymouth now. I’ll try and find out where I saw it. They have nights out, usually partners are welcome with this sort of evenings as well.
Whatever happens keep getting out there and doing what makes you feel good. I have been out for a couple of years now and everyone who knows me says how much more relaxed I am.

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1 Reply
(@rebeccabaxter)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1277

@hvdt 

Thanks for that Helene. Yes, if you can remember where you saw about the support scheme, I would much appreciate it.

 

Funny you know Plymouth but live in The Netherlands as I know The Netherlands and now live near Plymouth. I lived in Eindhoven for a couple of years, working as an engineer for a, now defunct, US electronics company.

Reply
Posts: 48
(@catharineec)
Trusted Member     Alberta, Canada
Joined: 3 years ago

Yay Becca, good for you!

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