Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
There is a lot to talk about, and I could make each point a worthy article, but I thought I would instead throw some expanded comments at the wall to see which ones stick…
I’ve kind of had one of those weeks where I’m pulled in different directions. One moment, I’m searching online for therapists and then I'm gleefully awaiting the arrival of my recent eBay purchases. If you are into clip-on earrings, then eBay is your kind of place. And then I’m wondering what I’m going to do with all the other earrings that I have… How many are too many? I used to buy them in lots to get the one or two pairs that I liked. The rest became a resale (which I’m not doing at the moment) or a donation. I’ve refined my search techniques and have bought some amazing sets. And then… I needed new rings, bracelets, necklaces, and of course the perfect dress to wear to showcase them. (It doesn’t matter if I’m not headed out in public. This is about me feeling good about myself!)
If you are diligent, know what you are looking for, and are patient then you can find great bargains (even more so than going to a thrift shop) on eBay. Try running a search string for “dress lot.” I pull up the options and put in my size and other wants. I have gotten some very expensive designer dresses (sometimes mixed in with questionable tastes) for a fraction of the cost, many still with the tags. I think I have 20-30 watched items going all the time these days. I still think bargain first and resist the temptation to buy the expensive items when I know I’ll be happy with something that posts in the future for much less cost. Skirt lots, top lots, bra lots…lots and lots to spend my money on and fill my closet and drawers with. I’m beginning to notice a separation in my clothing styles as my mind becomes more infused with the notion that I might actually be spending more time out in public as Brina. I believe it’s inevitable, and knowing so means having appropriate and quality clothing and accessories to make this 60-year-old look younger and stylish. I still like visiting thrift stores. Being able to touch the clothes is important to me as well, especially when buying tops. I also love how it gives me the ability to experiment without costing me a small fortune.
As long as I’m talking about eBay it would be a good time to mention buying a wig from them. Cheap isn’t the way to go, nor should you ever think that it will look the same on you as it does the mannequin. Buying expensive without trying it on isn’t the way to go either. Over the last 10 years, I’ve come to like Noriko and Raquel Welch wigs the best, though I watch a few others, too. I still shop for the perfect color and length for the right price or a steal of a deal on one. I buy used and wash them when they arrive. Again…when the time comes, I will have 3-6 (who am I kidding…10-15) that reflect me for who I am and will look natural in my public presentation. I’ve found it amazing how the right wig color and style can make or break the look of an outfit. I’m dressed and looking in the mirror, “This isn’t going to work at all,” I tell the reflection. I put on a wig and, “Yep, this is bad,” until I try another that I’m sure won’t work either and suddenly the outfit, and me, looks good, sometimes astonishingly so.
I want to take a moment to let you know that some help is on the way. I’ve asked Alexandra Forbes to write a series of articles to showcase her abilities and to offer all of us some perspectives (and some hope) in finding and bringing out our inner-girl more. She represents the crossdressers well, and I look forward to learning from her, too. Her first article will be hitting the front page shortly.
Keeping with articles; don’t be afraid to submit one. We have editors to help you work out the kinks and prepare your piece for publication. It doesn’t just have to be about how you started out and arrived at this point in your crossdressing journey. It might be something sad or funny that happened to you. I only ask that it be PG in nature and have something to do with being a crossdresser or transgender or in between. We like them to be 500-750 words in length. I could also use a couple of editors to join our staff as well. You can PM me for more information.
I have a little OCD in me. It perfectly compliments my anxieties…not…but it does make for interesting conversation--within my own mind. As a writer, I’m intrigued by names. They have intrinsic value—in my eyes at least. I keep a database of names and utilize it when characters need to have that elusive name or fit my imagery of them. As I’ve friended members on CDH, I’ve added their names to my database. My friending is another story. If you submit an article or post a picture then I applaud you by sending you a friend request. It’s my way of saying, “Woot, woot. That a girl! Way to go!” I’m also pretty good at responding to questions and being helpful to those who ask.
Anyway…I have close to 5,000 CDH names from my almost 6 years here. I thought it might be fun to give you some tidbits. Jennifer and all its offshoots (Jen, Jenna, Jenny) along with Michelle (all spellings), and Stefanie or Stephanie are the top 3 most often chosen names. There are some really unique names and of course those that play on symbolism or have double meanings. Some show their heritage or nationality. Lots of Samanthas (which or is it witch who didn’t love Bewitched), Kathryns—and offshoots, Ambers, Jessicas, Emilys, Erins, and Rachels, too.
Some of the more interesting ones are, Zirona Garden, Yale Bernadotte, Vibeke Caroline Riber, Val’sheril Starsong, Triesste, Teegan Gabrella, Sskira Liu, Sinty Green, Sirpa Anneli, Serendipity Roe, Saefire Bennett, Rikkee D McGonigel, Renesmee Leadbetter, Ravyn Spendy, Qira Jannae, Nisha Quinzel, Neith Ctenidae, Muffy LaRue, Milli Madera, Marianella Miami, Malgosia, Kyra Daxis, Khryssie Van Klaassen, Kandy Licious, Kallista Narramore, Jetta Fischetti, Jels Provenzale, Ibrahana, Guilda Legrand, Freya Herrera, Fernanda del Mar, Felcia Emme Fairchild, Emerald Verdant, Delyse Denier, Daeyton Jayde, Celestina Astra, Ceary Johnson, Carica Catture, Bryoni Kate, Bootsy Christina, Billie Wentworth, Asma Reagan, Anupama Singh, Anamika Sen, Adelaide Graham, and my recent favorite Abbie Normal are all book worthy names. All these names alone bring an imagined look to my mind, and I can envision interesting characters for all of them.
We didn’t get the chance to choose our name when we were born, but this rebirth is something we can have a say in. I’ve seen girls come and go on-site, many using different names when they come back. Some change their names as often as they do their hair color. Some have a particular reason for the name they chose, some feminize their male names, and some I can tell place a high value on the name they chose as it represents them as much as they represent it. One of the questions on our profile asks how we chose our femme name—right there is a story that many of us could write and submit to be published.
Whether we see our name as a character statement or the relevance of who we feel we are on the inside and try to portray on the outside, they are all important, all with significance. We chose them to honor our first loves (real or imagined), famous celebrity crushes, our sexy aunt, or the married lady next door who sunned in her bikini (or didn’t) when we were 12. Our name is an inspiration to us, a calling of sorts. Yes, it can also just be fun and frivolous, and that is perfectly fine. I can’t imagine what those who have legally changed their name went through or felt at the moment they made it official…maybe someday I will…
Until next time…
Sabrina Leigh MacTavish
Thank you Sabrina for sharing. Yep ebay is the first place I ever bought any fem clothes online and since have bought tons of stuff there. I've even sold lingerie there and did quite a bit of business for a while. Amazon and ebay are great for us CD's. After years of embarrassment having to go into retail stores in male mode to buy lingerie where the clerk always seemed to figure out it was for me, I never could have imagined how easy it would be to get the clothes we love delivered right to our front door. Amazing! It truly is a time for CD/trans liberation with society becoming more accepting and clothing and such so easy to acquire. I think its fantastic but just a little sad that I'm so old now. I think if I were much, much, younger I may transition and live the life I've always wanted but its too late now for this old hen.
We are lucky to be able to choose our fem name and able to change it like we change clothes. I've used many over the years starting in middle school with the name of a girl I admired. She was very pretty and I thought she had good taste in clothes so secretly I wanted to be like her. Her name was Linda. If she or anyone ever knew.
Here I use Michelle because its a very pretty feminine name and its the female version of my real name of Michael. The problem is in America that particular male name is the most common of all so its no surprise there are tons of Michelle's in the CD world. I recently thought it would be nice for my friends to be call me Chelle like a seashell. I've known one girl with this name.
I'm known on another site as Sophia because its not too common and I had a celebrity crush on Sophia Loren when I was young. There is no equal male name to Sophia and its very feminine. Also I would give anything to have the body of Sophia Vergara of Modern Family... wow! What a package!
Thanks for the comments, Michelle! I'm not sure that anyone name Sophia isn't beautiful, The famous ones sure are. I agree with you that Amazon and eBay make life much easier. I like Chelle, it can be a play on Michelle as Brina is on Sabrina.
Brina,,
I love your profile photo… so beautiful.
as always your articles so thought provoking and very articulate…except for one little point
you didn’t mention the name Leonara
I like your comments about accessories. I too have taken the time to buy gold and silver earrings (clip-ons) and bracelets..although I haven’t headed out in public (YET) I have purchased new outfits for my debut but for now just “feeling good about myself..
Thank you again Brina for taking the time again to write a great article…
Warmest Regards, Leonara
Thanks, Leonara 🙂 You are the only one that is listed, though there is a Leona. So your name is unique amongst those I have. A great jewelry set makes the outfit!
First off, you're beautiful! Such a lovely picture! I have never bought anything off eBay, for some reason I have a fear of buying things off of eBay (yet I will buy items off sites I have never heard of...go figure). I have looked at items on eBay though. Perhaps I should give them a try
Thank you for the compliment. There are a lot of us that utilize eBay.Occasionally, you will get a purchase that someone tries to pawn off as new or where they hide known flaws, but in general, I've been more than happy with what I've bought or at least felt I didn't over-spend if I didn't like it. My packages have always been shipped discreetly. I'm with you on the sites that seem to come out of nowhere with a great price. I'm now more reluctant than ever to buy when it seems too good to be true pricing.
Thanks for commenting 🙂
Brina, wonderful article. I'm going to look into Ebay for clothes...not the first place I would go. I usually stick to name store sites like Nordstrum Rack, Dillards and Macy's. Having pierced ears, I am constantly searching for good studs, since danglers are a tad bit obvious when I'm out and about in male mode. And as far as names for characters, I've self-published 3 novels and have always drawn my names from all over the place! But a database of CDH names is a brilliant idea!!! My latest has strong female lead characters and I reached deep for names that fit the personalities...quite a challenge.
Anyway, thanks for another good article, it's always a pleasure to read yours.
Hugs,
Kathryn
Thanks for the comments, Kathryn 🙂
I know of which you speak. Our characters need the right name, even if it is mostly personal to ourselves. I was stuck for over 3 weeks once trying to introduce my strong female character. Absolutely nothing came to me. It ended up being one of those coincidences. My daughter and Aunt had both submitted lists of names. I was looking at both of them simultaneously and like the visual graphics in a movie, a first and last name rose from the two sheets and merged into one name. Until that moment, the only thing I knew about her was that she was thirtyish and a reporter. Her name filled in all the missing pieces. The only time I use the phonebook is to search for name options...
Let me know what you discover on eBay...
Thank you Brina dear for sharing your experiences. Alexandra is so pretty I'm looking forward to her articles. You girls keep up the good work.
Really enjoyed reading this one girlfriend and you covered a pile of ground with this article - especially when it came to you're use of Ebay!
And Brina, speaking of Ebay, another way I use Ebay is to purchase makeup from our favorite manufactureres which have decided to discontinue a line of makeup for reasons unknown. This has happened to me more than three times in the last two years!
The first of my favorties to disappear was my favorite and perfectly matched liquid base foundation makeup! Yep, the every popular Mary Kay Beige #304! So I went on Ebay and put the name and number in the search block and WA LA - there is was on sale by many folks on Ebay for the same price or even lower than the orginal price I paid for that foundation. As a result, I purchased four tubes of it still it their orginal packaging! Enough to last me four more years!
Next to be gone from the shelves of Walmart or Walgreens or any makeup shop was my very favorite Scarlett trademark lipstick. That was and still is Maybelline #635 "Very Cherry". I found it on sale by several sellers and I now own seven tubes of it - enough to last me another seven years! YAY!
And then my unique and hard to fine eyeliner by LOREAL which was labeled as Black Velvet. What was so unique about this eyeliner was the thick and soft velvet tip used to apply the liquid eyeliner. It was the only eyeliner I found to be comfortable to apply without making a single mistake along the way. And one day it was G O N E! So I go to my go to place for discontinued makeup again and SHAZAM - there it is - right there on Ebay! I purchased seven brand new tubes of my Black Velvet eyeliner by LOREAL still in their original packaging! I hit the jackpot again and purchased seven packages of it! Enough to last me almost an entire lifetime!
An as we type/speak, my favorite nail polish used to match up exactly with my Very Cherry lipstick is on its way out! That's my Revlon nail polish labeled "Colorstay GEL Envy #550 ALL ON RED! Almost impossible to find as of late so I went on Ebay and BOOM! It's all over the place on Ebay! So I ordered three brand new little bottles of it and will probably order three more bottles just to have enough to last me about three more years! It usually takes about one full bottle of that really red stuff to last me about 6 months doing one photo shoot about once a week if I'm lucky!
Brina, after writing this response to your article, I probably should have saved this response to create another one of my most popular articles again! What do you think?
Have a wonderful weekend girlfriend and you look absolutely fabulous in your most recent photos! You're really changing your looks up quite a bit from one photo to the next and you seem to do quite of bit of experimenting with your hair, makeup, and clothing! Way to go girl friend! I'm mixing my clothing up more now than ever before. One of my new areas of clothing I can't seen to purchase enough of lately is my new workout wear clothing. The girls seem to hate it because the gym workout tights totally cover my legs up and the girls just hate it when I cover those legs of mine up. However, the leggings just keep getting sexier and more colorful evertime I go searching for them on Amazon Prime. I currently have at least 12 different pairs and have just ordered four more pairs of them last night. They are all very high waisted, do a great job of highlighting my curves and I pair them with tops which are as sexy and as comfortable as the leggings! Eventhough the girls can't stand me in pictures wearing the gym clothes and all I'll get from them are crickets when I post pictures of me wearing that line of clothing, I won't stop posting photos of me in that gym gear! I love the look and it's the most comfortable femme wear out there and I can run from room to room in a hurry with my Nike running shoes which I know have 8 pairs of them to match up perfectly with the rest of the gym wear! LOL I could take photos of me in those gym clothes for twelve straight hours without breaking a sweat and without my feet hurting the least little bit!
Okay, Brina, now I'm finally done with this novel length response to your article!
Have a super weekend girlfriend!
XOXOX Scarlett
The word "you're" in the first sentence should be "your" instead. And I didn't review the rest of the article before hitting the "Post Comment" block, so there should be plenty more grammatical mistakes in this lengthy response! Sorry!
Part of who we are is finding out, "Who we are." Just as all woman find their look, we need to be comfortable in ours as well. I know that means "sticking out" at times as we don't fit into the normal, but hey...we don't anyway. I'm not talking about the rules of decency. There are still some lines that should be adhered to, though I am much more open to seeing many of them being moved back the older I get. My point is that I believe many of us, regardless of size, age, masculinity, or shape can find the right combinations that will bring out the beautiful femininity within.
Thanks for the comments 🙂
You're more than welcome and I loved your article as I've loved all of your writings, Brina. You're a real jewel and Crossdresser Heaven is so lucky to have had you on board for so many years! I sure have appreciated you being there for me and so many other hundreds, if not, thousands of girls on this site!
XOXO Scarlett
Hi Brina!
Funny.... I just responded to a name origin post.
I have only ever had a handful of purchases from EBay. Usually when I buy new, It's Amazon or the online version of a brick and mortar store. For used I love thrift stores and poshmark.com. When you have extras from the lots that you buy, poshmark could be a good way to sell the extra.
Hugs
Autumn
Thanks for the comments, Autumn. I've only looked around on Poshmark. I'll give it more of a look. 🙂
