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First, I wish to say how thankful I am to everyone here at CDH. Just being here and sharing with one another has been a large part of my therapy over the last few years. I know I am not alone, as so many are afflicted/blessed with this desire to CD. THANKS!!!
Around four years ago, the pink fog hit me like a runaway freight train. I dressed in my ex's clothes in bed every night and during the day when I would have the house to myself. In Sept of 2019, my ex found out, told many, and the week later I found CDH.
To date, I have been accepted by many, tolerated by some, and others who know are in the "Don't ask, don't tell crowd." In mention, as it was with one of my brothers when I went to our late Christmas in January get-together at his daughter's house. I was in full Cassie mode. I was in one of my favorite dresses, which I wore because I worked during the day at my Torrid job. I could have gotten off work BUT used that as my excuse to go as Cassie. Three of my brothers didn't seem to care, the other wanted nothing to do with me. I wrote to his wife a couple of weeks later and asked what Doug's reaction had been. She stated that he completely ignored it and doesn't talk about it. She said that if he puts it out of his mind, ignores it, then it didn't really happen, and that's how he deals with a lot of stuff.
Getting back to my home life. As I have said here before, my ex and I are living in the same house, and my three grown children know about Cassie. My oldest seems somewhat accepting, at least no negative comments from her. I have progressed since Thanksgiving so that the only time I wear men's clothing is at work at the post office. In the afternoon, I get home; I shower and put on full Cassie clothes, including bra and forms. I usually don't put on any makeup unless I am going out especially. Several times my age 16 granddaughter has asked me to take her to work or take her home (they live in the neighboring small town). We have stopped to eat at one of the fast-food places there several times now and she seems to be OK with it.
Back to my ex. She goes from seeming to be ok with Cassie to calling me a wacko/sick individual. We have gone out shopping a few times. One time we were at a showroom planning for a bathroom remodel where she referred to me as HE a couple of times. Yes, it made me sad, but not angry. If she is not ashamed of being with a crossdresser, I have no huge shame in being outed, but it would be nice just to be accepted as a woman. Another thing she often believes is if you want to wear women's clothes, you must want to "go all the way" and fully transition. Sometimes, I get it in my head that she would be ok with this if I went on HRT and started the surgeries. BUT for me, I THINK if I could socially transition and be accepted by most key people in my life as Cassie, that is as far as I want to go.
Questions for all of you.
Do you know where you are going on your CD/Trans journey or are you taking it one step at a time?
Have others influenced you, telling you where you ought to take this and you're not sure you want to take it that far?
Do you have one important person who has shut you out?
Cassie
Well Cassie what you have experienced is par for the course really. With family it is a minefield but if they know and love you it isn't an issue yet some will be uncomfortable but accepting and those that don't. Good friends will usually be the same. You have to consider that for many there are reasons why they have their views and have to be respected and allow them time. It has to be accepted that you will lose contact with people but it seems you have only one so far and, who knows, may come round. The important thing is you have a general acceptance.As for those you meet when out and about I am sure most will see who you are and be courteous to you. Yes mis gendering is possible but so long as it is with no malice I can accept that. It happens with those that have known me for years and, again, I am not worried about it as they are having to accept change too.
I have had one long standing friend who has cut me off, sad for me but it had to happen sometime. As for everyone else, it's been great.
One of the questions asked is 'How far' and sometimes some think I already have. Although there has been questions no one has ever told me what I should do. I have never set any plans as this has been a long and slow journey and has evolved over years. You have probably come further in a few years than I have in twenty. I just let things happen and at certain points did things to help that progress such as telling someone. I have progressed to a point where I can live quite happily as a woman and although I could go further with surgery the question is whether there is any necessity to do so. Socially transitioning is quite a reasonable path to take as it gives you time to think about things and where you want to go with it while those around you get used to your change.It takes the pressure off and if you decide to go further it would seem a natural step thus being more acceptable.
Hi Cassie,
To answer some of your questions/.
1/. My beloved SOP knows about Caty "but does not want to know". So we are a firm "DADT" household. Yes, some consider this wrong, but it suits our personal circumstances
2/. Caty has been an integral part of my life since my, (dead scared about it all), teen years, Cut to the mid 70's and I began a journey which has led me to where I am today. A happily ahem... "mature" hetero male, but with a "very large chunk" of female within my tired old "bod". Reference to my articles and photos on this great site, will provide ample evidence of the above. Never wanted to transition, had too much fun with my male hobbies and needed to be male for my business career.. But then... I travelled a lot and Caty came along with me in the "other suitcase"
3/. Various family and friends have known about Caty over the years. Most of them think I "signed the pledge" over 20 years ago. Others still know, but I don't tell, and they don't ask....
4/. I have a daughter living in North America who for reasons best known to her, has cut herself off from her entire family. Tho she is guilty of asking "one too many questions" about 25 years ago.
"To each their own" and I hope these words have helped.
Caty
I am pretty content as being a guy who likes to wear a dress, and doubt I will go beyond that. My dressing has grown from just occasional panties, to full time panties and now occasional dressing fully en femme. Through it all, though, I have just been a guy in panties, or bra, or now a dress.
Sites such as this and others have allowed me to dive deeper i to this world and helped me find acceptance in my own mind. Like most, I struggled at first with these desires to dress, but other's experiences have allowed me just accept the fact that I just like to wear femme wear, and that there is nothing wrong with it.
I keep my dressing on a "need to know" basis. I do not really care if somebody finds out, after all I do go out in public dressed, but I do not actively announce it. The few who do know habe been perfectly accepting, and I suspect that any close friends or family would be fine with it if they did find out. No doubt they would wonder why, and I would get some ribbing, but they already k ow I strongly believe in inclusivetivity, so would not be too terribly surprised.
The freedom of dressing as you feel and enjoying how you feel is worth some of the minor difficulties that do occur occasionally as a cross-dresser. Just do it if it feels right
