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Hello to all the fantastic ladies that live inside this beautiful platform.
I ask for your patience and understanding as I ramble on a bit about a topic that has been on my mind. I have been grappling with my feelings about meeting and possibly even dating men. The more I have been gravitating towards womanhood, the stronger those feelings have become. I could see myself with a boyfriend or maybe even something deeper. I’m definitely attracted to men.
It started many years ago, as a much younger version of myself when crossdressing was more of a fantasy or a fetish. The thought of being in women’s clothing was exciting and exhilarating enough. I remember the thrill when I wore a dress or skirt, a bra with a pair of sexy thigh highs, and heels, even though I was clueless as to what I was doing. Looking at myself in a mirror, woke the feelings inside that I was probably repressing most of my life.
It led me to want to know more, to learn more, and to try new things more. At the time, I was functioning as a heterosexual male dating women but could feel this other side of my brain constantly knocking on the door of femininity asking to enter. Confusing, conflicting, OMG yes, to say the least! No matter how much I tried to put those feelings in a closet, no pun intended, they were always there, and like my shadow, whispered into my ear asking to surface.
Six years ago, in 2015, I was living part-time in New York for work and mostly alone. Well, that’s when I went crazy and started shopping. I learned about makeup, hair, nails, and overall beauty. After a while, I felt comfortable enough to go out on very selected occasions to test the crossdressing social scene waters (meeting some like-minded people and so forth.) I went to the Stonewall Inn a few times as well. It was heaven, just like this place. I hadn’t considering transitioning yet, but my mind began to broach the option.
What would it be like to go on a date dressed as a woman? I was too afraid to try, but the questioning never faded either. So, I relegated myself to simply dressing up, applying makeup, watching YouTube videos on how women walk, carry themselves, and to gather up beauty tips, etc. This was my life for a couple of years or so.
Then in 2018, back in SoCal, things returned back to normal, and my transformations were limited. They needed to be planned out as friends and family were unaware of my lifestyle. Most of my wardrobe that had been collected in NY was gone. I still had a few pieces to dress up with, and still, that question kept poking at me.
In the latter part of 2019, I decided to take a chance and go on a date with a guy. It felt freeing that I had finally committed to exploring this possibility! Where do I start? What is my type? What am I looking for in a guy? It was harder than I thought. We understand that most men tend to start with physical appearance and then emotional attraction, whereas women tend to value other qualities first like chemistry, humor, and sensitivity before the physical part.
I found myself thinking along those same lines. I’m not sure if you ladies have done this, but I started studying guys all the time to see what attributes they had and if I was attracted to them. Tall, short, athletic, stocky, older, younger, cocky, humble… I jumped on a few CD dating sites. I was disappointed that they were mostly about “Hook-ups” and singular desired focuses. I could write another article about the men on those sites and their fantasies with girls like us? It drove me back to a self-relegation for not spending hours to get ready for a 15 minute, non emotionally rendezvous; it definitely was not appealing.
Then COVID, ugh, everything came to a grinding halt and my notion had to be shelved. It was disheartening to finally get enough courage to put myself out there only to have a global pandemic dismantle my aspirations. It did, however, gave me time to reflect.
As we find some sense of normalcy, I can start anew. Yet, I’m still faced with the same dilemma, how does a girl go about meeting a nice guy that is comfortable with me on his arm while we walk down the street to a movie or restaurant? I’m not naive, I know that the whole “passable” issue looms large in this conversation, but I hope it’s not an impassable gauntlet that kills any chances of happiness. Men are weird about this stuff, I get it. If regular women struggle, is there any hope for girls like us?
This is the first time in my life that I’ve felt comfortable airing my feelings and exposing my heart. It’s a testament to the women here who have made me feel like a family member that I can bare my soul and know that I will receive honest and loving feedback.
As my girl, Gwen Stefani says, “I’m just a girl, little ‘ol me, guess I’m some kind of freak cause they sit and stare with their eyes”
Just looking for a good man who wants to hold my hand.
Love,
Brianna Rose ❤️
Seems to be an evolution of events but the feeling of being with a man is so complete and fulfilling for some of us. I love being out on dates and public events with a male companion and holding hands and being romantic. The secret is finding such guys and the easiest way is tg events and clubs where the admirers are looking for such girls. Sure many are just looking for a one nighter but there are many looking for romance and companionship too. Then there is meeting friends through their friends that are interested in our lifestyle. So good luck Brianna on your journey
Thank you Deborah for your comments. Yes, I would agree TG events could be a great place to meet guys that are admirers and comfortable, great suggestions and I appreciate you wishIng me lick on my journey. Warmest, Brianna
Hi Brianna, like yourself I am finding that that the more I let my feminine side breathe the more appealing being with a man seems to become.
Never before, in my life would I have even considered the possibility! Where this leads me, I don’t know, haven’t a clue, I have no idea where I want it to lead. I’m just hanging on for the ride.
Hugs, Jillian
Hi Jillian, You know, I feel the same way, like I’m hanging on for the ride, no clue where it will take me. Both exciting and terrifying at the same time! I guess like finding your own unicorn in life. Hoping to find someone while safeguarding yourself is hard but I also hope rewarding someday. Here’s to both of us having a wonderful ride down the path of future romance! Hugs, Brianna
I suspect you will find it difficult if not impossible to find what you are looking for unless it's a "one night stand" kind of thing. Most admirers are looking for the one thing only a CD can give them. For anything else you are competing with 50% of the population.
Hi Celeste, yes and that’s what I’ve encounter too many times but still want to hold out hope. I try to never say never but not naive of our lifestyle situation either. Warmest, Brianna
Thank you for sharing your story. I knew I was bisexual at puberty and have admired men all my life but hardly acted on it. I understand the search for a handsome man who respects us and treats us like ladies is the goal. Unfortunately as you have found those types are few and far between. Men are basically pigs who only want to satisfy their needs and then move on. I think as CD's we get even less respect than GG's do. The only advice I can give you is to keep looking and vet each person carefully before you commit anything. GG's have learned this all their lives. Good luck finding Mr Right.
Thank you Michelle for you kind note and wishes. I hope we all find our soul mate no matter how challenging and yes, we know how men can be for sure. Brianna❤️
I think when we dress, it gives us permission to do the forbidden..I am going though the same thing and one time, acted on it..My first time out to a club dressed, I went outside for a smoke with a couple friends. I felt someone touch my bottom and reached back. He pulled away but I reached back to place his hand back on it..It felt so exciting. I turned around and he placed his hands on my hips and by instinct leaned in to kiss him..I felt his face stubble then felt a rush that I have never felt before..The friends I was with moved in to remind me that we had to go..I had too much to drink they worried I would get into trouble if I stayed..They were right..It was nice to have a wing man that night..I think of that night often and would like to explore that side of Gina more...I guess there is more to me than I knew...I say go for it! But BE SAFE!!
Gina
Hi Gina, Wow, I know exactly how you feel, the first time a guy made a move on me I was like part frozen and part excited. I too kiss him and felt his face stubble but I didn’t have friends to pull me away, I was on my own to control the situation, I did but the pure sexual desire was so strong I almost couldn’t control myself. The one thing that I kept in my mind was BE SAFE Brianna, you don’t know him…Well, I was able to kinda tell him that we could meet again and call me but never heard back. Btw, his hands on my hips and butt pulling me into him was crazy exhilarating, what a rush is right! Thank you so much for sharing Gina, I hope you get to experience a chance rendezvous again sometime girlfriend…Hugs and be safe too. Brianna❤️
Brianna, I can SO RELATE. Your post was reminiscent of my early days of dressing. Your words haunt me - in a nice way of course: "...to take a chance and go on a date with a guy." I went out on a date (different than "dating") a couple of times years ago. It was both fun and disappointing. FUN - he treated me with respect, made me feel gloriously feminine, and I felt fulfilled. DISAPPOINTING - I wanted it to last forever.
Please write more and let us know how it goes. Wishing you the very BEST OF LUCK!
-Nancy
Thank you Nancy for the kind words. I will keep writing about my experiences and life adventures. If you ever want to share more about you, would love to hear more. Here’s to us finding what we’ve always desired! Warmest, Brianna❤️
Brianna. I loved your article, thank you so much for sharing. I too am attracted to men and I wrote an article last year on the subject. I feel there is someone out there for us and all we have to do is keep looking and have a positive attitude. You are going to have a lot of disappointing dates but don't give up. My right is out there girlfriend. Hugs Jenna ❤
I'm one of those guys that likes Trans woman and is respectful and wanting more. I'd love a nice relationship, most trans dating sites are a horrible experience. Most of the girls are married! So thats a deadend, I'm in KS and this lifestyle is not understood and makes it even harder to find one another. I was glad to see this topic, as it seemed most here were "straight" and GG focused.
How very sweet ❤️
boy----This is really complicated for someone like me--(how to be a Girl) What example to follow---My late wife & I were swingers from shortly after we started dating--& that's a different world-- A world where women can & do become Dominate when it comes to sex--She (Alice) behaved more like folks expect a man to act--A stranger groping her in public was fine (even desired ) by her way of thinking-- but it looks like the Majority of women would never accept this behavior -- For us it was just "Normal" --I have a strong desire to become the Woman she was--A real relationship Plus the freedom she had-- (for the better part of 30 yrs)--I don't have the Freedom to live full time as female because I Need my job--(esp without her income helping)-That is Literally the Only thing stopping me-- & now I'm even more nervous about going out dressed & running into someone from work -can't afford time off looking for a new job now-- Plus-there are fewer jobs to be had-- being single-I don't fit in the swingers crowd now (esp since I dress) that was acceptable as a couple before--but not now-- I do know my wife & I s lifestyle was "Different" But whats' a Gurl to do?
Hi Brianna , i really liked your post on this . I've cross dressed most all my life and as i grew older i started noticing men , i felt a little ashamed at first but now in later life i think i could go this way . I guess i am bi , i think , as i have been with GG's most my life and only the past few years have tried to meet someone . Like you the dating sites are not good , just people looking for one night stands , i am not into this , at all , i am afraid who i might meet . I have made some really nice male friends on Face Book as usual they live to far away ,so i just talk . I would love to go on a date , kiss someone and be held and kissed , i so dream , don't you ? I have had thoughts of sexual relations and i would be ok with this with the right man in a loving relationship .I sort of fell in love with a male friend and told him i am transitioning to female , i haven't herd nothing from him since that time , oh well so much for opening up to someone , ha . I don't go out much so i don't meet anyone to talk to , but i will keep trying . I hope you find your man the love of your life , i hope we all do , i just say please be careful , so many trans women are hurt or worse . Thanks for this , some times just being able to vent helps . Love ya girl , Leslie
Hi Leslie, Thank you for the wonderful note. Feels so good to know that I’m not alone. Sexual thoughts s a nature progression and can’t tell you how many times I’ve daydreamed about being with a guy in a healthy loving relationship. I hope you also find someone that makes you happy and and treats you like the beautiful queen you are. Kisses, Brianna
Neither of y'all two lovely ladies are alone with these thoughts and feelings that were expressed above. It would be a Divine experience to have someone to care for us, ( hold hands walking down the street and other lovey-dovey things ) and see within us the femininity we can see within ourselves. I thank y'all both.. best of luck in all your future relationship endeavors
Brianna, the dating sites are very tough. While I am generally not attracted to men while dressed or otherwise, I am attracted to other CDs. That being said, I have CD friend Chrissy who simply exudes sexuality whether in her female or male forms. I met her the first time in our drab attire for lunch after having chatted for many, many weeks online. I was attracted to her immediately. We do not get to spend tons of time together, but when we do, it is always fabulous.
She is one of three CDs I have met through dating sites that are very patient and fabulous to be with. But those are the rare exceptions in my experience. I don't even chat with men on those sites because they tend to be after one and only one thing. Others have suggested going to TG friendly places and while I am not in a position to do this, I believe it might be a good place to start.
Thank you Janice, I have thought about TG friendly places too. So happy that you have shared a great experience with your friend. I’m in a same boat, difficult to go to these places often so my options are limited sometimes. Btw, yep, men on the dating sites only want on thing. Even worst, their not always polite and feel free to act crude because they think we are suppose to like this type of talk, disheartening and honestly, gross. Hope you continue to have fun with your CD friend. Bigs Hugs, Brianna
Janice , i to would be attracted to other CD's as well , i would so like to be in love . What is the dating sight you used ? By sweet lady , Leslie
Hi Leslie,
I’ve tried Crossdresserdating.com but not much luck. I think going to legitimate CD events and TG friendly places may work better. I did meet one of my close friends now on another site, she’s a CD girl like us, but the dating situation was a dud. I was blessed to meet her though wasn’t a loss in my mind. Brianna
Hi Brianna
I really enjoyed reading your srticle and it certainly struck a chord with me. When dressed and living as Gail I find myself dreaming about the things you talk about meeting someone nice, talking together, going places together and also being intimate together. I haven't yet been to any dating sites I am not sure there are any here in Australia but I haven't really looked yet. I have been to a CD bar on a few occasions where I received a little male attention but nothing that advanced past some conversation. Not sure wether that was me or them that didn't take it any further.
My biggest concern is that when I am male me I dont find myself attracted to men so opening Pandora's box and Gails legs to a man is not something I can separate between male me and Gail me. Yet through all this Gail still calls and asks for some male attention. It is a very difficult decision to make with some consequences attached. Having said all that we are all different and I hope that whichever path you choose brings you happiness
Love as always
Gail
Hi Gail, Thank you for your thoughts on this. I agree, we all have our own path and all we can do is seek happiness with ourselves and our decisions. I hope you too, find your happy place…kisses, Brianna
