Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
Today I was listening to a TED talk on shame by Brene Brown. She said, "If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence and judgement. If you put the same shame in a petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can't survive. The two most powerful words when we're in struggle: me too."
I got shivers up my spine as I thought about my transgender experience. Shame has been a constant companion through my journey, it has haunted me even as I asked the question of my readers, "Are you ashamed of being a crossdresser" and even when I stand on the mountaintop victorious over shame I'm aware that it still bides it's time, hoping for an insurrection of my spirit.
Secrecy
Those in the transgender community know secrecy well. It has been our bed fellow since before we knew what it meant. Growing up in secrecy we hid our feelings. As we blossomed into adulthood we desperately fought to keep our deepest darkest from others. Like a cancer from within, secrecy ate our souls.
Silence
Like twin demons dancing down the path to despair, silence and secrecy skip hand in hand. Our desire for secrecy kept us silent, and the silence of the community kept others silent. A lot has changed in the last 10 years. The voices of those who can no longer embrace secrecy has sent a cry of hope out into the silence. This was the reason I started Crossdresser Heaven. At first it was my cry for help - to myself, to understand what I was going through. Then it became my cry of hope - small though it may be, I added my voice to the chorus of those offering advice, encouragement and solace. I told my transgender story. I shared your transgender stories.
Judgement
Yet judgement wandered among us still - the judgement of our hearts, the judgement of those with little understanding or care. They condemned us as sinners, as heathens and accused us of all manner of debauchery. They stripped down our identity to a single word, erasing all our good deeds and contributions to hang the sign, "Transgender" around our necks. For many the shame was so strong that we bowed our heads and wore this brand as if it were tattooed on our hearts.
Empathy
It does not need to be this way. We do not need to hide in secret, weep in silence or cower at the judgement foisted upon us. Dear readers, lovely ladies and beautiful kindred spirits, I understand your walk. I know your shame, I feel your struggle, and I hold your hand as you get back up one more time. We are here together. Alone they can isolate us, ridicule us. Together we are strong. Together we can change laws and melt hearts. Together we can find comfort and share warmth.
Together we can pour the salve of empathy on shame. Dousing it so thoroughly that no secrecy, or silence, or judgement can ever infect the beauty of who we are created to be. For all those who have not heard it yet, today I say to you, "me too."
Parts of what you wrote are so very true.Because of the "personal secrecy" of the community,mainstream society has no clue how large the "transminded" population really is.We were born this way,and there are many of us on this earth.In my world,I wish many of my "friends"weren't so secretive.Life is too short,have some fun while you can.
ME TOO!!
I do believe we are taught to hide within ourselves. We build our self imposed prisons around us. Our homes become our dungeons or jail cells as we hide who we are on the inside from the world, our neighbors and even our families. I am TG and have known this since i was 7 years of age when I a boy donned my first dress. I was taught all the usual things that boys don't wear girls things, boys don't play with dolls, but I questioned the rational of this. Why is the biggest question I ask. I even researched this only to find we as humans are made of both parts of both genders, we all have male and female hormones, we all have DNA that we got from our parents. Yet I was expected to live just half a life and deny the other part of my total being. Why? Does my wearing a dress or a pair of pants change who I am as a person? These questions I resolved by taking course in religious studies. We are told we are made in the image of God - RIGHT. So since we know of no Mrs. God, does this mean or can the inference be drawn that God is a Transgendered being as well. The reference to God as HE really has no bearing as the Bible has been rewritten numerous times by men, not women. Think about this.
