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Dressing Age-Appropriate
A wise, cross-dressing psychiatrist once wrote (with apologies to Oscar Wilde):
"The only thing worse than being viewed as a sex object, is NOT being viewed as a sex object."
Amen to that, Sisters.
I understand that most of us dressers just want to go out and get our errands/events done en femme, in public, and not get hassled. Of course, a lot of us want to be noticed by others though, but in a good way. I appreciate making some heads turn, I really do, and 'cuz I'm partial to long, blonde hair, I may get more looks. Do the clothes make the woman? I think there is a split responsibility: between the woman herself, how she is dressed, and how she moves in public; all three conspire to create an image that is either good, bad, or indifferent. Personally, I want to create a good image that others may enjoy as much as I do.
As far as dressing age-appropriate is concerned, I say that's a certain measure of crapola. My prescription is: dress how you feel and enjoy it. I do not agree with age-appropriate dress codes that some sites/advisors try to force on people and that because I'm mature in age, I should "dress like a spinster school-marm"; no way. I let the mirror tell me what it thinks (and my wife, who always says my skirts are too short, to which I tell her, I don't have any long skirts). As long as you toe the line of community standards and don't look obscene, it is OK in my books.
Short, colourful skirts (I have a couple that are REALLY short) look gorgeous to me over pantyhose, and I have noticed the guys like 'em and the cis-women hate 'em. Chuckle. And I don't think that makes me a chucklehead for saying so.
That brings me to acceptance. As I have read elsewhere, some feel that women are still second-class citizens and men are bred to "maintain the patriarchy" (good Lord!) even today; I think that is a crock o'you-know-what. Women are pretty well respected these days and this is not 1835 any more (well, perhaps they could start dressing better though, but so could men, but improving dressing standards is for another day). Some say we cross-dressers are frowned upon because women in general are frowned upon, but frankly I don't see that here in Western Canada. I doubt it is much different in the UK, Deutschland or the good old USA. In fact, other dressers I know, say they are often treated better in public presenting as women. So there!
It is just fun to look pretty and be safe in public and let's face it, in our culture, women are the attractive ones, if they dress nicely. Men in a tux or a nice suit look splendid, but there sure ain't any colour and I love colours—as do most of us who dress en femme. Of course, I am speaking of general social conditions in public places. We all know there can be jerks out there and I say to any woman or CD, get yourself some self-defence training, it will never hurt. Until next time.
Cheers, gentle ladies.
Fatima
I agree to a point. Wearing a short skater dress while exciting is not really appropriate at my age. Wearing short dresses however is fun. I think it is more important to dress for the time and location. Wearing that ball gown to the mall just doesn't work. Unless you are trying to stand out. I always dress for the time and location. I like to shop around lunch time at the mall as I can dress in something dressier but work appropriate. Wearing a dress and heals on the weekend while fun just stands our.
I never concern myself with whether or not my clothes, etc are age appropriate. I just wear pretty much what I want because I went through a big part of my life not doing it. Having said that, I still try to dress to blend in on an everyday basis...just on the younger side. I save my really flamboyant outfits for occasions when I go out. This is when the stilettos, minidresses and dramatic makeup comes out!
Love the article. I think there are lines that are drawn around what is classy v trashy and that aligns with the age appropriate discussion. I just want to look good and feel good. I won't if I am self conscious about my attire.
Whike I agree there should be no dress codes, I do believe there is such a thing as age appropriate dressing.
At 66 I would look rediculous in a mini skirt, fishnets and thugh high boots. Nor do I need to dress like a spinster or schoolmarm. It is possivle to dress age appropriate and still be attractive and elegant.
I simply.pay attention to what matute ladies are wearing and choose looks similar to the ones I find classy and attractive. It really has nothing to do with being a CD, as my wife does the same and she always looks great.
I own hundreds of skirts, it and I do mean hundreds. Only 4 or 5 of them are knee length or longer. I do own a few full length dresses, but they are more evening wear than going out to do the shopping wear.
If I'm going out, and if do most days, I try to dress to blend in, but my skirts are always short. I try to go for smart/stylish.
Wear what you like. Life is too short to not be happy in yourself.
There are a few pics in my public photos that show my usual style.
When around the house, I will occasionally go "typically tranny" and wear something that is fun and a bit OTT.
Cerys
@fatima *First* of all, I'm quite sure I've never heard anyone other than I use the word 'chucklehead', so right away I can tell we're kindred spirits!
As for dressing age appropriate, clearly we're in agreement here (as fellow chucklehead users, I am not surprised by this). As I repeat often, someone's reaction to you is about them and not you. I've gone out in 9" skater skirts, stocking welts quite visible, in 6" platform heels, and a very sheer top. At 54, is this age appropriate? Well, I mean, depends on who's judging, doesn't it? Luckily for me, I'm the only judge I'm worried about and quite honestly girl, I felt I was killing it. Though I did buy all my own drinks both of those nights, sooo.... 🤔 LOL
I wouldn't spend too much time on worrying about what people you don't even know might this is an appropriate look. If you look in the mirror before walking out the door and give yourself a thumbs up, then that's all you need. 🙂
I may be 53, but dare I say it, but after running thousands of miles I have pretty decent legs so on the rare occasion I do go out in Anna mode, I do wear a dress which is slightly above the knee.
Hi Fatima, I go out often and at all hours and do keep my safety in mind. If I'm going to the store and want to blend then it's jeans, a top and a cap. If I'm going out for fun then it's whatever I think looks good on me and that may be a mini, a bodysuit, a bustier, a bikini or a long gown with heels. My wife will often do a critique before I leave and make suggestions but we are usually in agreement and things are best when she says "that's hot, you rock, or that's a showstopper! I can usually blend but just look like an older hot aunt and don't really worry what people think. Often I get complements so I figure that I'm doing OK. Party on! Marg
I think we are all well aware of how much crossdressing can "youthen" you. With that in mind, I'd say dress to the age you perceive your femme persona to be.
I’m with Melodee on this one. My first responsibility as a crossdresser is to please myself first. What will others think? Who cares!☺️ I see crossdressing as the ultimate vanity project. The postings I see here on CDH reinforce those thoughts daily. I know I’m an old lady. (67) Still, I try to go for cute, fun looks. Which involves short dresses. If I feel I’m pulling off the look I’ll post a few pics. It won’t last forever and when I feel I’m not achieving my goals any longer - I’ll go more “age-appropriate” then. Which probably means more covered up and “grannyish”. Eek. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.
That said- if I were trying to go out and mingle in public discreetly I would be in “classy mature lady” garb. Which I still have not figured out my go-to clothing choices for quite yet. I’m just too busy with babydoll dresses and pantyhose! 🥰
GP
*I like the word chucklehead at times too. (Pretty sure I picked it up from watching the 3 Stooges as a young crossdresser back in the day.) However I don’t get to utilize it very often as I’m much more exposed to the advanced version of it: The knucklehead 🤣.
Hi Fatima. I am someone who is guilty as charged of saying in the forums here that I dress age appropriate when I go out i public. Your post has made me look at this another way. I'm more on the shy side particularly when I'm out in public as Olivia and while I want to look nice I don't want to attract too much attention. That is just me normally. I like to be just another mature lady going about her day. My legs are a bit skinny so boots any higher than ankle height look a bit funny on me. I have picked my breast size to detract attention away from how big my chest and shoulders are and I have found any low cut tops or dresses seems to bring out how big my chest is. Slacks jeans and shorter dresses seem best at hiding my lack of hips.
I have been out in public in short summer type dresses that show my legs, tailored slacks, jeans, leggins with a long top or even a summer dress as well as below the knee dresses. Thinking about it now I'm not dressing age appropriate. I'm dressing me appropriate. Dressing to my nature of not wanting to be attracting any attention and wearing fashion that works for my body.
Thanks Fatima for that new outlook.
I Don't know, sometimes I just want to feel young, sexy and care free. I happen to be 60 and pony tails, single brad, when I feel like it. We are adults why should we limit what we feel, alone or in the company of others. we should never be ashamed of our feelings or desires. I wonder how the straights will feel when they learn there are 37 genders when the aliens start walking around, I think it will be a riot!! (never hurts to dream)
Early on I dressed as sexy as I could. Partly because that was the image I saw and partly because of the sexual excitement it gave me. As time passed that dwindled as I wanted desperately to go out and be in public and knew those outfits were not going to do anything but bring unwanted attention.
As for "age appropriate" the answer is definitely NO. I refuse to dress my age. My visage is not in line with my calendar age and therefore I dress in line with my appearance. I'm not going to be a grandma nor will I dress like one. I don't dress like a 40 year old (or less) either. My style tends to be classic, comfortable and inline with how women in my area dress. Except for being a bit above average in height you wouldn't see me standing out in a crowd wherever I go.
you got it, If I thought I could pass I wouldn't mind the attention a little.