Fallout '24: Keysto...
 
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Fallout '24: Keystone Edition

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Posts: 32
Duchess
(@autumngirl)
Eminent Member     Virginia, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Thank you for your wonderful article Erika! It is a great perspective from the euphoric feeling at Keystone to “debriefing” with your SO. As I continue on this journey, I find that when they are open to talk to about dressing and how you each feel and process it all, you have some great breakthroughs. I hope to have Keystone and other CD events on the calendar one day soon and be able to have such a good conversation with my wife when I get home.

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Duchess
(@erikabell)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 162

@autumngirl thanks for you kind words.  I hope you get those opportunities too.  And not all breakthroughs are beg ahh hah moments.  Some are just those small tweeks in perspective that can bring so much understanding into focus.

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Posts: 133
Duchess Annual
(@isabella22)
Estimable Member     Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 5 years ago

Thank you for sharing Erica. Great story, inspirational and from the hearth. My take away is be true to yourself which will lead honest and meaningful conversations. 

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Duchess
(@erikabell)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 162

@isabella22 thanks for reading. And I id say thats an accurate summation.

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Posts: 409
Lady
(@krisburton)
Honorable Member     Northern, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

A beautifully written article Erika - and so relatable! I too experienced a post Keystone debriefing, but it was far more conversational and matter of fact than I ever could have imagined just two short years ago. She even stated that she may like to attend in the future, if only for the gala - whoda thunk it! Perhaps we both will have newbie attending wives next time!

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Duchess
(@erikabell)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 162

@krisburton Thanks Kris. That is simply beautiful that she is even considering that.  Will be nice to meet her.  Mine on the othe hand will be happy to support me from a distance.

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Posts: 215
Duchess
(@sheryl321)
Honorable Member     Omaha, Nebraska, United States of America
Joined: 2 months ago

Thanks Erika, I will see if I can steer her that way. Any Podcasts you favor over others?

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2 Replies
Duchess
(@erikabell)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 162

@sheryl321 the one my wife got good information from was the Fox and the Phoenix.   Shame shame shame is a good epeisode that explain why we hide it.  There are a few with SOs being interviewed.  Which give good truthful information.  Dont have to listen in order or anything like that.

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Duchess
(@sheryl321)
Joined: 2 months ago

Honorable Member     Omaha, Nebraska, United States of America
Posts: 215

Thank you Erika. That really helps!

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Posts: 209
(@mariec)
Estimable Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

Wow! This is such a good story. Thank you for sharing with us. I can relate to so much of what you've written. My wife is also accepting and supportive, but that doesn't mean it hasn't been a long journey with ebbs and flows. Trust has to be built and that takes time. 

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Duchess
(@erikabell)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 162

Im so happy you find it relatable. You bring up a good point with this being a long journey. I feel like I have been in this for so long and its actually only been just over two years. I am looking forward to the next steps. With an aim to build that trust.

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Posts: 103
Duchess
(@jrm3702)
Estimable Member     New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

Erika,
It is wonderful that you shared this experience. I had a similar series of conversations after returning from keystone last year, with a 'good enough' but not quite as touching conclusion. The exact ending notwithstanding, affirming-as you did- the pride I feel in who I am and that I hold for others, and the irreplaceability of the friends who I could not have come to know any other way, was what changed the direction of things and helped us get to a place we could both live with if not be perfectly content. Your article illustrates that the best way to stand up for yourself is not making it just about yourself, but about everyone.
Jill

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Duchess
(@erikabell)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 162

@jrm3702 im so happy you find yourself in a place with your SO that you are both happy with.  Not an easy place to get to.

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Posts: 434
Ambassador
(@beach-girl)
Honorable Member     United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I feel ya, girl.

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Duchess
(@erikabell)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 162

@beach-girl Thanks Dawn I know ya do.

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Posts: 412
Duchess
(@terrim)
Reputable Member     Long Island , New York, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

Erika, sorry I didn't read your post before. It was very well written and I found it very moving. Thank you for telling your story. I am sure it helped everyone who read it.

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Duchess
(@erikabell)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 162

@terrim No worries Terri.  Thanks for the kind words.  Im kind of blown away by reactions.

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Posts: 52
Lady
(@jaiymelynn)
Trusted Member     Las Vegas, Nevada, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

Erika,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. Your article touched me in many ways. I really appreciate your insight.
Jaiylyn

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1 Reply
Duchess
(@erikabell)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 162

@jaiymelynn aww thats so nice of you to say.  So glad it was touching to you.

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Posts: 31
Significant Other
(@jb)
Trusted Member     Connecticut, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

Great article Erika. As an accepting SO, I can relate to much of the thought process that your wife has. We love our hubby's and that over-rides all else, however, that doesn't mean everything is always easy and we don't still have our insecurities as well. We have talked about going to Keystone, since we live on the east coast and would be drive-able, however, it is somewhat cost prohibitive at this point. Maybe next year we will take a closer look, sounds fun!

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Duchess
(@erikabell)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 162

@jb Nancy thank you so much for your reply.  I am glad that you confirmed a lot of what I was experiencing.  Definitely not an easy journey.  Keystone is wonderful.  Hope you two can make it.

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Posts: 1844
Duchess
(@loneleycd)
Noble Member     Roland, Iowa, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I wish I could give you a SUPER LIKE. Such a positive story.
Cas

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Duchess
(@erikabell)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 162

@loneleycd Cassie I will take it as a Super Like.  Thanks appreciate that a lot.

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Posts: 3
(@alexkokokline)
Active Member     Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 7 months ago

What a great article erika! I'm so happy for you both and so proud of you! You're right this life is not the easiest thing in the world to navigate so anytime your on the same page as your s.o. I consider it a win!

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Duchess
(@erikabell)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 162

@alexkokokline thanks for that Alex.  Yes felt very much like a win and a big step forward.  Hopefully our SOs will talk if not meet one day.

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Posts: 50
Duchess
(@theapat)
Trusted Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 9 months ago

...Dearest Erika,
You are everything I wish I could be....a true hero....as for me, I am no longer married. I guess I'll say "happily divorced" and for other reasons than dressing. Though I have friends and family, they are unaware and I am unwilling to notify them. I do admire you and how you've handled your domestic situation especially after your latest 'retreat'.
Stay Well, Keep Safe, God Bless, and Continue to Enjoy what you love doing.
Sincerely and With Love,
Thea
PS...nothing like the ride home after an experience of you magnitude...Ya just didn't want it to end...

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Duchess
(@erikabell)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 162

@theapat Thea you ae too kind.  I thank you for your generous words.  Know the happily divorced feeling too.  No need to notify friends and family if its not going to make your life easier.  The majority of my friends and famil will never know.  And thats ok.  Absolutely agree with the ride home.  Well wishes to you and yours.

 

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Posts: 345
Duchess Annual
(@shadowqueen)
Reputable Member     Vermont, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

Erika, thank you for this article. I have had many conversations with my wife and I try to keep the lines of communication open.

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1 Reply
Duchess
(@erikabell)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 162

@shadowqueen thanks for reading it.  Yes im finding that is a very important part of the journey.  And its seems to get easier the more its done.

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Posts: 28
Princess
(@erinboo)
Trusted Member     Ohio, United States of America
Joined: 2 months ago

Erika thank you for sharing your article it was truly amazing glad you and the wife worked or hopefully working things out that is hard spot to talk about and understand unfortunately mine wants nothing to do or hear of what I do so not sure where that will lead we shall see but truly thank you shine for sharing

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2 Replies
Duchess
(@erikabell)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 162

@erinboo its a constant conversation and one which can lead to multiple conclusions.  I so hope yours leads to happiness and contentment.  And that is why I love CDH.  Plenty of shoulders to cry on and help lift us up.  Best wishes.

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Princess
(@erinboo)
Joined: 2 months ago

Trusted Member     Ohio, United States of America
Posts: 28

@erikabell I truly understand for me it’s been talks from why do you want to be a women are going to transform are you gay this is not normal then she calmed down and always it but takes no part in it I’m happy and content when able to this has been an amazing site for the short time I been here truly wish you and the so the best truly

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