Feeling like a cage...
 
Notifications
Clear all

Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.

Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.

Feeling like a caged animal...

55 Posts
17 Users
0 Reactions
725 Views
Posts: 5
Lady
(@clisair)
Active Member     Chipley, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

I found that I was able to present myself better in public I starting out by wearing kilts. Kilts are for men and women and once people get used to the kilt then you add something else to it like maybe nice shoes or maybe tights. After they get used to that and taken adding like a nice blouse or something and keep going till you have the look that you want.

Reply
2 Replies
Duchess
(@fiona06)
Joined: 6 years ago

Famed Member     Bolton, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1766

thanks eave, it certainly adds a new perspective for me to consider 🙂

Fiona xxx

Reply
Duchess
(@fiona06)
Joined: 6 years ago

Famed Member     Bolton, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1766

thanks eave, it certainly adds a new perspective for me to consider 🙂

Fiona xxx

Reply
Posts: 5
Lady
(@clisair)
Active Member     Chipley, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

I found that I was able to present myself better in public I starting out by wearing kilts. Kilts are for men and women and once people get used to the kilt then you add something else to it like maybe nice shoes or maybe tights. After they get used to that and taken adding like a nice blouse or something and keep going till you have the look that you want.

Reply
Posts: 2536
Baroness
(@amylove2dress)
Famed Member     South Western Ontario, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 6 years ago

Your story moved more than can imagine. This must of been quite a soul baring experience putting all this out for us to read.
My little confession, I read this just before I had to leave home this morning to go to a meeting, and could not think of a reply, so I just closed my computer and started my long drive to the city. Though I felt that such a heartfelt confession deserved a reply.
Driving along the highway later on, I could not help but think of the incident where your mother retaliated against your toys.
You sound like you must of been an only child, as I was, too. Though I had a much more normal and compassionate home life. But this is my point, being a shy, lonely kid, as well, toys and my few stuffed animals were my companions, at times they were my only friends, and most had real personalities for me. I talked to them, and I felt that they replied. To loose all of your special friends in such a manner, I cannot describe the feelings it would cause. It brought tears to my eyes as I drove.
Amy

Reply
4 Replies
Duchess
(@fiona06)
Joined: 6 years ago

Famed Member     Bolton, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1766

Hi Amy, thanks for your kind words, and i'm so sorry i made you upset whilst you drove. I feel as i become more familier with the site and its members, i owe everyone an insight into my life, not that i'm saying i'm special, i'm not! just an ordinary person. The irony behind all this is most people say 'their schooldays were the happiest days of their lives' mine certainly were not, i was glad to grow up and leave. I feel i have been robbed of my childhood, in reality, they will never be had again, but we have to try to move on and make sense of everything from an adults point of view which i feel difficult because i'm still in limbo. I suppose mentally, i am still young, but in an older adults body, trying to claw back what vestages of childhood i have lost. You are quite right, i was an only child, sometimes i feel my mother had me to try to keep my father which failed and in return, because things did not go to plan, i got in the way. With all that taken into account, my mother started to regret having me because it didnt achieve its purpose, so anger turned to resentment.

I married a woman with two special needs children, who need care, they are not mine, but they call me 'dad' , i love them to bits, and they are my world. Their father abused them and i have brought them up from being young and they have grown into respectable, loving young men. All they needed was love and committment and a bit of time. How anyone can treat children so badly defies my logic totally. Thanks for your reply Amy, like many of the above comments, it has made me feel loved and restored my hope in people knowing not everyone is out to make your life miserable. 🙂 thankyou xxx

Fiona xxx

Reply
Baroness
(@amylove2dress)
Joined: 6 years ago

Famed Member     South Western Ontario, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2536

Fiona, please don't feel sorry for the way you made me feel. My childhood was mixed, I had a good family, but was "picked on", we call it bullying now oft times through my school days. So, for me as well, school wasn't always the happiest.
The main point I'm taking from your comments, is how you have overcome your past, it is still with you, but you made the choice to become a better person. For that, you deserve much praise and credit. I know, you are simply trying to live your life well, and having seen the other side, makes you determined to do so.
XXOO
Amy

Reply
Baroness
(@amylove2dress)
Joined: 6 years ago

Famed Member     South Western Ontario, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2536

Fiona, please don't feel sorry for the way you made me feel. My childhood was mixed, I had a good family, but was "picked on", we call it bullying now oft times through my school days. So, for me as well, school wasn't always the happiest.
The main point I'm taking from your comments, is how you have overcome your past, it is still with you, but you made the choice to become a better person. For that, you deserve much praise and credit. I know, you are simply trying to live your life well, and having seen the other side, makes you determined to do so.
XXOO
Amy

Reply
Duchess
(@fiona06)
Joined: 6 years ago

Famed Member     Bolton, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1766

Hi Amy, thanks for your kind words, and i'm so sorry i made you upset whilst you drove. I feel as i become more familier with the site and its members, i owe everyone an insight into my life, not that i'm saying i'm special, i'm not! just an ordinary person. The irony behind all this is most people say 'their schooldays were the happiest days of their lives' mine certainly were not, i was glad to grow up and leave. I feel i have been robbed of my childhood, in reality, they will never be had again, but we have to try to move on and make sense of everything from an adults point of view which i feel difficult because i'm still in limbo. I suppose mentally, i am still young, but in an older adults body, trying to claw back what vestages of childhood i have lost. You are quite right, i was an only child, sometimes i feel my mother had me to try to keep my father which failed and in return, because things did not go to plan, i got in the way. With all that taken into account, my mother started to regret having me because it didnt achieve its purpose, so anger turned to resentment.

I married a woman with two special needs children, who need care, they are not mine, but they call me 'dad' , i love them to bits, and they are my world. Their father abused them and i have brought them up from being young and they have grown into respectable, loving young men. All they needed was love and committment and a bit of time. How anyone can treat children so badly defies my logic totally. Thanks for your reply Amy, like many of the above comments, it has made me feel loved and restored my hope in people knowing not everyone is out to make your life miserable. 🙂 thankyou xxx

Fiona xxx

Reply
Posts: 2536
Baroness
(@amylove2dress)
Famed Member     South Western Ontario, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 6 years ago

Your story moved more than can imagine. This must of been quite a soul baring experience putting all this out for us to read.
My little confession, I read this just before I had to leave home this morning to go to a meeting, and could not think of a reply, so I just closed my computer and started my long drive to the city. Though I felt that such a heartfelt confession deserved a reply.
Driving along the highway later on, I could not help but think of the incident where your mother retaliated against your toys.
You sound like you must of been an only child, as I was, too. Though I had a much more normal and compassionate home life. But this is my point, being a shy, lonely kid, as well, toys and my few stuffed animals were my companions, at times they were my only friends, and most had real personalities for me. I talked to them, and I felt that they replied. To loose all of your special friends in such a manner, I cannot describe the feelings it would cause. It brought tears to my eyes as I drove.
Amy

Reply
Posts: 2917
Managing Ambassador
(@ladyelly2957)
Illustrious Member     Kent, United Kingdom
Joined: 6 years ago

Hi Fiona
Thanks for sharing your story. As I have got to know you I have seen your confidence grow.
You are a diligent member of the Ambassador team and are great fun. So I am pleased to call you a friend.
Hugs

Reply
2 Replies
Duchess
(@fiona06)
Joined: 6 years ago

Famed Member     Bolton, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1766

Hi Elly 🙂 i have my ups and downs. I dont mean it, but sometimes things get too much and i have to take a back seat. All this has left me being overly sensitive and hurt very easily. I dont mean it but its like a fight or flight response, however CDH has taught me how to manage these feelings better and the lovely members have taught me that not everyone is bad and out to get you. I openly admit, it must have left me with psychological issues, but is it any suprise? i dared not put the full extent of it in the article as it was too horrific to publish i felt. Now i need to move on and enjoy making others feel special because you all are!

Fiona xxx

Reply
Duchess
(@fiona06)
Joined: 6 years ago

Famed Member     Bolton, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1766

Hi Elly 🙂 i have my ups and downs. I dont mean it, but sometimes things get too much and i have to take a back seat. All this has left me being overly sensitive and hurt very easily. I dont mean it but its like a fight or flight response, however CDH has taught me how to manage these feelings better and the lovely members have taught me that not everyone is bad and out to get you. I openly admit, it must have left me with psychological issues, but is it any suprise? i dared not put the full extent of it in the article as it was too horrific to publish i felt. Now i need to move on and enjoy making others feel special because you all are!

Fiona xxx

Reply
Posts: 2917
Managing Ambassador
(@ladyelly2957)
Illustrious Member     Kent, United Kingdom
Joined: 6 years ago

Hi Fiona
Thanks for sharing your story. As I have got to know you I have seen your confidence grow.
You are a diligent member of the Ambassador team and are great fun. So I am pleased to call you a friend.
Hugs

Reply
Posts: 67
Guest
(@T.J. Byron)
Trusted Member
Joined: 6 years ago

Hey Fiona,
Would be glad to chat about CDing....
I am not going to transition...never wanted to " become " a woman...love to CD.
Been CDING from the 1960' s out in public.
Love to discuss " coming out " with young FOLKS.

Later T.J.

Reply
Posts: 67
Guest
(@T.J. Byron)
Trusted Member
Joined: 6 years ago

Hey Fiona,
Would be glad to chat about CDing....
I am not going to transition...never wanted to " become " a woman...love to CD.
Been CDING from the 1960' s out in public.
Love to discuss " coming out " with young FOLKS.

Later T.J.

Reply
Posts: 13
(@stephtv60)
Active Member     Pombal, Leiria, Portugal
Joined: 7 years ago

Hi Fiona,
As many of the responses have already pointed out we all live with our past, be it good, bad or indifferent. The most important choice you have made is to be a better person. That includes being Fiona. You don't have to go out alone, metaphorically or actually, as there are so many here who share your trepidation (myself included) of being accepted en femme. Hopefully there is at least one other member of CDH near you who can lend you a shoulder for support to physically step out into the world. I don't doubt the world will seem a little bit brighter for it.

Hugs,
Steph

Reply
Posts: 13
(@stephtv60)
Active Member     Pombal, Leiria, Portugal
Joined: 7 years ago

Hi Fiona,
As many of the responses have already pointed out we all live with our past, be it good, bad or indifferent. The most important choice you have made is to be a better person. That includes being Fiona. You don't have to go out alone, metaphorically or actually, as there are so many here who share your trepidation (myself included) of being accepted en femme. Hopefully there is at least one other member of CDH near you who can lend you a shoulder for support to physically step out into the world. I don't doubt the world will seem a little bit brighter for it.

Hugs,
Steph

Reply
Posts: 67
Guest
(@T.J. Byron)
Trusted Member
Joined: 6 years ago

My Dear Fiona,
You are such an amazing woman sharing your story with us....I cant imagine living my life that long and feeling this way. I'm young and am finding my femininity everyday and the urge to go out dolled up is very strong, I relate to that so much, as I'm sure we all do. In my case, I found the courage to come out. I dress how I want and I suggest you do what feels right. ..and not care about what others think. Find local friends who will accept you and associate with them. Even though my family and the most important people in my life (brothers and parents) won't approve, it is not their choice to make for me even though i don't dress around them and have no desire to, so its not a big deal...you can do it anywhere its shockingly easy and freeing and you'll get compliments even and people giving funny looks. I've even found the funny looks make me happy, because that means I'm really looking the way I want LOL. Otherwise I believe you and others like you will continue to be unhappy with the way your living. For the issue if anyone asks and finds out in my family, I'll simply tell them I always have, you just haven't known! I am no expert, just hope this helps you!!!

Reply
Posts: 67
Guest
(@T.J. Byron)
Trusted Member
Joined: 6 years ago

My Dear Fiona,
You are such an amazing woman sharing your story with us....I cant imagine living my life that long and feeling this way. I'm young and am finding my femininity everyday and the urge to go out dolled up is very strong, I relate to that so much, as I'm sure we all do. In my case, I found the courage to come out. I dress how I want and I suggest you do what feels right. ..and not care about what others think. Find local friends who will accept you and associate with them. Even though my family and the most important people in my life (brothers and parents) won't approve, it is not their choice to make for me even though i don't dress around them and have no desire to, so its not a big deal...you can do it anywhere its shockingly easy and freeing and you'll get compliments even and people giving funny looks. I've even found the funny looks make me happy, because that means I'm really looking the way I want LOL. Otherwise I believe you and others like you will continue to be unhappy with the way your living. For the issue if anyone asks and finds out in my family, I'll simply tell them I always have, you just haven't known! I am no expert, just hope this helps you!!!

Reply
Posts: 210
(@stardust)
Estimable Member     Seattle, Washington, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

My heart goes out to you, girlfriend, upon reading your childhood and young adult experiences… Let me be clear: YOU are amazing and worthy for being here after experiencing all of THAT. (On a personal note I believe there should be a special place in Hell for anyone who treats a child lie that!!!)

And I’m so happy that you, like me, has found so much joy with our female selves.
Hugs,
Jules

Reply
Posts: 210
(@stardust)
Estimable Member     Seattle, Washington, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

My heart goes out to you, girlfriend, upon reading your childhood and young adult experiences… Let me be clear: YOU are amazing and worthy for being here after experiencing all of THAT. (On a personal note I believe there should be a special place in Hell for anyone who treats a child lie that!!!)

And I’m so happy that you, like me, has found so much joy with our female selves.
Hugs,
Jules

Reply
Page 2 / 2

©[current-year] Crossdresser Heaven | Privacy Terms of Use | Link to usContact Vanessa | Advertise with Crossdresser Heaven

 
[kleo_social_icons]
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!