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I've been dressing up at home a lot lately. At home... alone. Safe in the closet as usual. Looking in the mirror, I thought about how many times it’s been this way, always playing it safe. I'd had enough, it was time. Time to go out.
Certainly, the doubts arose, and I second-guessed myself, just as I had a hundred times before. No. I'm doing it. What exactly am I afraid of? You'll be discovered! So what? Nobody would recognise me anyway. People will stare! Let them. Might run into trouble! And?
It was a beautiful, sunny morning on a national holiday, meaning that fewer people were around. If ever I'm going to do this, now was the perfect opportunity, so I did.
I don't have a car, so I planned it out with minimum pitfalls. I’d wear the blouse and undergarments under regular clothes. The store wig, skirt, jacket, and shoes I’d keep in the top box of the motorbike. Knowing the university campus well, I found a quiet corner to park and change with some degree of privacy.
The sunglasses were more to hide behind than eye protection. I set off.
The first group of people I passed were morning joggers, and they paid no attention which somehow boosted my faltering confidence. I smiled. I was aware of my walking gait and tried to consistently take smaller steps and keep my arms in. So far so good.
It really was a nice morning…
Ahead in the distance, another group of joggers was approaching, so I crossed the road and started taking selfies. This was more to distract my nerves by giving me something to do rather than think about being seen. They looked at me and the selfie hack worked… I simply didn't care. That's when I learned to stop worrying and enjoy being out... quite an exhilarating moment... Sonja was free.
I walked about for over an hour, enjoying the freedom away from my years of only crossdressing at home in private. Although I knew that I wasn’t that passable, it didn't matter anymore. After all, they were looks from complete strangers, none of whom said anything to me.
I removed the sunglasses.
I sat awhile and enjoyed the morning chorus from the birds. I ventured to make eye contact with a smile at those who passed by, no longer looking away or hiding behind plastic lenses. One person smiled back, and I knew I was going to be ok. In fact, I started to feel proud of myself. After all this time, I was out in the world, and I had conquered that internal mountain.
The sun was getting hot, so I headed back to my parking spot to change back.
A successful first walk in public and one very happy crossdresser.
Since that time has passed, not only do I feel proud for finally stepping out, but I'm looking forward to doing it again. The next time, I will definitely spend more time applying my makeup. I probably won't be shaving my legs so again, the tights might do the trick. As for the formal look? Well, there's a summer floral dress that deserves to be seen out and about, and I love wearing it. A light cardigan to cover up the muscular arms and tattoos. It’s lovely how it's all coming together.
If there were any negative parts to this experience, it was the small blister I received from wearing the low-heeled shoes. And absolutely nothing else…
Thank you for reading.
Sonja, I am so happy for you. This is the biggest and most rewarding experience for a crossdresser. It is filled with so much stress at first. My first time was a drive and a few hours in the mall. I had no problems and even had few complement on my skin and one girl said I looked pretty. That made my day. On my next time out I meet a friend from CDH in Seattle and spent two days with her, seeing the city. There were a lot of people and I just we both blended in. I had one waiter miss gender me, but other then that I had a wonderful time. In my last outing I drove 300 miles as Julie and filled up with gas, had lunch, and even used the women's restroom. I checked into the hotel as Julie even showing the desk clerk my male drivers license. And yes I was nervous, but there were no problems. I know some people know I was a crossdresser, but it was such a lovely experience.
I think you looked lovely in you picture Sonja. Once you go out and feel comfortable and confident you will never fear being who you are. I hope you have many chances to go out and meet some wonderful friends. Just loved your story, and am so excited to hear about your next adventure. Thank you for sharing.
Hugs Julie
Thank you for your kind words Julie. I will write about the next adventure soon.
Glad you enjoyed your first experience dressed in public. It is very satisfying to do that. I remember my first time out. I got all dressed up at home. My wife was doing some volunteer work.
I had pulled my car into the garage earlier so non if my neighbors could see me. So I got in my car fully dressed and left the garage. I was on my way. I was very nervous.
I choose a mall which was about a half hour away. When I got there I took a deep breath and got out of my car, knees together like a lady does. I had never walked in my heels as far as I had to that day. Thank goodness there was a bench by the entrance to the mall. I sat and rested foe a few moments. Finally I told myself that it was now or never. I entered the mall and walked down the long corridor finally spying the Victoria secret store. What better place to test myself.
As I entered the store I was greeted by a friendly sales lady asking if she could help me. I told her that I was interested in seeing the panties. She took me to the panty section where I chose 5 pretty pair. She then directed me to the checkout lsdy. She smiled noticing my pink polished nails saying how pretty they looked. Said that I had chosen some nice panties. After I paid I turned to walk out and looked at the bras curiously. The floor sales lady asked me if I wanted to be fitted for a bra. I froze and was about to say yes but chickened out, this being my first time out in public dressed completely feminine. So I declined the offer. In hindsight I wish I would have been fitted for that bra. After all I knew that they must hsve known that I was a crossdresser. But they treated very nice just like any other customer.
All in all I was very proud of myself for finally getting out there in public dressed up completely feminine. It gave me confidence to do it many times since then.
Totally relate to the "now or never" moment and I respect your courage going into the mall...I'm not sure I'm confident enough just yet to do that. I guess for now one step and see where it takes me.
Congratulations Sonja. It's that one leap that can change your life forever and it went without hitch as you chose the moment well. It's an inspiration to all those who are one step from opening the door. Thanyou for sharing.
Thanks Angela...the experience has certainly emboldened my wishes to be Sonja more.
sounds like a lovely experience and know how nerve racking it is at first but now it only gets easier and even more fun. Its something very rewarding and satisfying and now your hooked
Thank you Deborah. I realize the issue is largely a mental challenge and I feel it will get easier the more I go out en femme.
First time out is exhilarating, and a forever memory. Good for you.
Sonja I loved your story on your first walk out and you made me so happy for you. I recently went out for a drive and got my nails done and had lunch at a quiet restaurant. It was exhilarating. Thanks again for sharing your story and hey, “you look good behind those Foster Grants “ or were they Ray Bans? Either way you’re awesome! Love hugs and kisses. -KIP
Thank you Kaitlyn for your kind words. I haven't a clue what brand the shades are!
Congratulations on your first time out Sonja. It is certainly an exhilarating and liberating feeling. I have found that the more I do it, the easier it gets. Now I'm at the point where I get out at least 4 days a week and my confidence is growing every time. It is also wonderful when you have a positive interaction with someone. Much of our authentic time is spent in solitude and anytime we can have interactions just enhances the overall experience. Stay out there sister!
I will certainly stay out there. Today I'm hoping to buy some clothing for the next adventure
Way to go Sonja! I have gone on a few walks myself. It's very liberating.
One of the things I enjoy is going to the golf practice range enfemme. I've always enjoyed golfing and now that I've been been enjoying dressing enfemme in public I decided to combine my two favorite things. My next goal is to go to a regular golf course like that. Another plus is that I'll be able to use the ladies tee on my first shot on each hole.
I get the same excited feeling every time I go out. It just feels so good. Hugs 🫂
Desire ladies , the cravings you get when going out in femme for the 1st time and it goes well or better than expectations.
Now that craving is enhanced.and YOU WILL do it again, Until it becomes "normal" to go EVERYWHERE in femme, every day! That's my experience,. nice.
It just happens. I'm scheduled today a doctor adopt. & going in a dress bra panties, wig, red nails full enfemme, and it's become normal. But to the Doc, I'm male.
Hi, I'm so happy to hear your experience out and about..
I have been out quite a few times and each time became easier, I even got a whistle once and a , nice legs.. keep it up, what's the worst people can do really, just stay safe..x
Great article. I can’t wait for the day I make my first walk outside.
Sonja -
Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope to one day be able to get out and about. I can only imagine how thrilling it can be. Hope you have mroe opportunities soon.
XOXO
Suzanne
