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Great thoughts, cross-dressing is a mixture of idealism, pragmatism, obsession and control for many of us!
Brina, this was an eloquent post. It is hard to understand where one fits into things when, as you put it, the feelings can fluctuate daily. I have found myself bouncing around quite a bit, but it is comforting to read your words. Thanks for making this girlie feel a little more at ease 👩🏻
Love it! Thanks for a look at so many aspects of growth and exploring the mystery of the feminine and even perhaps sacred inner senses of that mystique. The developing sense generally in early teens (although clearly something was up long before in moi) through years of waste long hair put on music (did I truly spend too much time messing with it?) and the obligatory eventual goatee (so quickly ungrown and regrown, well, sorta on the latter)! Interestingly, how the patterns of review and vista are somehow done overtime: "questions" and outcomes. Met my 1st wife at 18, and was dressed up w/her so much of the time she said got jealous. Having no sisters and being the 4th boy there was surely some sense perhaps I had a role to play? I am clearly more feminine than my brothers. That I love clothes...all clothes, gidget-gadget guy stuff, yet I love my dresses and skirts, cami's a bit differently. It is not about lingerie now: 1/2 about lingerie! Indeed, I am taken in, as you mentioned, by a great pair of heels on a women and it starts the gears...and the credit cards! Anyways, super thoughtful piece, Brina, and my appreciation runs deep, yet spared my nylons!💗
Brina, thank you for the article. My journey like so many others has its ebb and flow. But no matter how diminished the desire to dress becomes I can't escape the ever present sense that at my core I am a woman.
I've come to conclude that I am not a crossdresser. Crossdressing satisfies little because I know that I am but masquerading. Crossdressing does not "scratch the itch" which feel. Why? Because it doesn't make me a woman. I sense very strongly and incessantly that I am a woman. I want to be full time in daily life what I am at my soul level.
Crossdressing doesn't get me there. I enjoy what few times I can dress, but not without a certain sadness.
I am not a man who like to wear women's clothes. Neither am I a man who wants to be a woman. I am a woman who by virtue of my God given male body am tasked with male responsibilities which at this point in my life so many are counting on me to fulfill. So I stay male though in reality I am simply a woman who wants to be.
Kindly,
Charlene
I truly enjoyed the article, thank you. Especially, "I’d love to move somewhere new and establish myself as two people who just happen to never be seen together." This statement struck a chord with me. I would never do it (love my life as it is) but would totally enjoy the freedom of being able to choose how I presented.
Thanks for the interesting and intriguing post. You certainly covered a lot of interesting topics in this CD journey we all share yet experience in varied ways. As a “mature” older girl I have landed in an interesting place. I’m happily married and we share a sort of weekly girls (date) night in the confines of our home. I dress fully varying my feminine outfits. My spouse is as understanding and open to my inclination to feel and present as a woman. She has limitations with me presenting as a woman publicly. I dealt with prostate cancer (radiation treatment) in my early 60’s and despite being cancer free now for 11 years I endure SOME of resulting complication with erectile disfunction. I always lived as a masculine dad, husband and dad. As I have aged my feminine side has increasingly developed into an integral part of my being. I thoroughly enjoy being a woman (my wife has named me Rhia) on our weekly dates. She’s a cool, loving woman who I’m pretty sure isn’t real thrilled by my occasional en femme status but she does her best to try and enjoy my happiness. I’ll never transition but most everything I do with my body like personal fitness and emotional support has my crossdressing built into the equation. It certainly is a journey. Thanks for the discussion and thought provoking comments.
I think, for me, cross dressing is a rediscovery of my natural femininity. While I have no recollection of raiding Mom’s lingerie drawer as a child, I was for all intents and purposes, a little girl. I may not have understood how or why, but I knew I was different from the boys. I was quite content playing Barbie’s with the neighbor girls and would jump right to the girls’ toys when the Sears Christmas catalog would arrive. Fast forward to where I’m at now and the clothing is a tool to pacify my controlled gender dysphoria. Yes, I would much rather live as a female than a male. My femininity is the most natural thing about me. But, I’m also realistic about the choices I’ve made in my life. And they’re totally on me. I don’t have any regrets, but am comforted in the knowledge that I am now Ok with my effeminate nature.
Dear Sabrina,
Excellent article. Covers so many important points to consider. I am actually sitting on my couch dressed in my female attire and watching the NBA finals game while considering your content filled words. I am an old timer now. I was married for 38 years to my wonderful wife until she passed due to liver cancer. Oh well, life and death are entwined. I was always attracted to female attire but now I’m on my own and feel content in my clothing. I really wanted to thank you for this article you wrote. It gives me many things to think about. I wish everyone all the best.
What an article Brina! Truly loved it. "be free of anxiety, and let the moments when you can be dressed be wonderful and meaningful… " I'll remember this every time and practice this mindfully when Neha is dressing up 🙂
My journey started at a young age, think my mother wanted a girl, mum used to set my hair when I was young, but I enjoyed every minute of it, Love to all Cynthiamaree