GIRLS, YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!

what a great post, well said and all true. we were brought up girls play with dolls and put on makeup and wear dresses, boys play with cars, g i joe, climb trees, work on cars, wood working. but never once said that we can try on a dress or put on make-up. that was back in the 60s where boys were boys and girls were girls. society is much different now its 2022 and there is more cross dressers then females. Then then now. society needs to wake up and leave the cross dressers do what they want to do. we are only here to visit and enjoy life both ways male and female

I am gobsmacked! This may be the best article i’ve read since joining!! you captured the angst so many of us felt or still feel, show how to win over others with kindness, and give us all a huge boost of courage. I am going to download this and print it out to hang by my desk and mirror!!! I don’t know if this was in the essay contest, but it would have won, IMO. Well done you! xoxo

Brie

Well written article... thanks. It comes down to confidence in ourselves no matter what comes our way. We have to own our space and thats so difficult sometimes. While there are many different types of people in the world, a CD is a very unique type of person.

Absolutely a wonderful article Baily, and so very true!!

Bailey, I agree completely. Here is a few additional thoughts.
I had a giant appetite for girly clothes at a very young age. So like every thing in the world there were decisions to be made. Not so much by me in the early days of my live since adults did my thinking for me. Later however, as was common in my misspent youth years I actually fought off my urges much like some gay people do when they join the Navy Seals. I never lost the desire but I certainly kept it in check.
Now, I look back at all the years I missed, but had I followed my CD desires I would have missed the part of my life that I hold dear to me now, wife, children,and a grand baby. I still can't live the life I love openly but if I would have chosen the other road early on I would have missed all these things present.
My point is this, either road I would have travelled would have never made me totally happy. Human nature will always let us see what we missed before allowing us to see what we have. Bless, look to find peace.Hugs, Teri

Thanks for the article, Baily. I did 40 years ago go out for a drive in the middle of the night fully in fem. Fear of getting caught and loosing the drive to dress I did purge shortly before getting married.
Now after having encountered the pink fog about 3 years ago ( for me it was almost more like a pink wall) I have made steps out there going further every few weeks. Never would have happened that fast had I not let my X find out. The first thing she did was to tell our 3 grown kids then threatened to tell my 4 brothers. To head that off I told them myself and now I see my way clear to make the steps to go even further.
Right now it is in my head to 'socially' transition. I even told one of my daughters today ( the first family member). I am sooo excited by the idea that I can hardly think of anything else.

. .Cassie

Baily,
thank you for a great article… so articulate and informative.
to answer your third proposal “have you told your wife or significant other the entire truth about your thrill of cross dressing”.
My wife met Leonara by walking in on her time expressing her feelings of femininity.. needless to say I was a deer in “headlights” .
we talked and she had a acceptance. We shopped together and even had a manicure together… as she processed her husband’s CD revelation.. And requested that Leonara dressed when she is not home.. fortunately it’s 2-3x a week when she is with friends.
I am balancing my alter egos and my wife and I are for the moment “don’t ask, don’t tell”
thank ladies for listening and Baily thank you for a very timely article
hugs, Leonara

Thanks for the nice article Bailey. To answer some of your questions, I have purged and I have come out to my wife with disastrous results. Early in our marriage, she was fine with it and encouraged it. Within a short time she grew tired of it and discouraged it. But, as everyone knows, we cannot just turn a switch on and off. We have been married 40 years and I have come out at least 4 times and she is very opposed to it. She is somewhat accepting of and open minded about the LGBTQ+ community accept when it applies to me. I have tried to not dress and have gone as long as 6 months, but it was torture. At this point, I dress secretly when she is out of town like this week. I am also very fortunate in that I have met another CD who lives somewhat near me and whose wife is very open to the idea of her dressing at home. Her wife also welcomes me to spend time dressed when visiting them. That is very helpful. I also wear thigh-high compression stockings daily for medical reasons and have found that women's compression hosiery fits better and is more comfortable. So, I get a femme feeling every day. It may not be perfect, but I have been able to make it work for me. I also travel for work and dress when I am on the road.

It is a 'Tub thumper' of an article and is so right. Alas there will be those that will still be stymied by personal circumstance. I have been through all the phases and now it's a case of this is who I am, take it or leave it. I love the angle - Nice them to death.

Thank you Baily

I loved your story because it describes me and my position in my journey. I have never been out but in the last few months I have been building up an outfit that I think will be acceptable and not too much that will grab a lot of negative attention. It’s winter and I can cover up a lot with winter clothes. I just got a knee length skirt I refuse to wear pants I’m going to also wear winter boots with a block 2” heel. My only hold back is that I am alone in my area I might have to venture outside my area to find some company. I want to thank you for your article it has given me the courage to make it happen

Dear Baily Marie,

I knew there was at least a part of me that was a girl being five or six years old. The ways boys were supposed to be just didn't make sense to me. I cant remember anyone ever telling me thinking so was wrong or sinful, but something made me keep her a secret to everybody.
At twelve I still was small compared to most of my friends but had grown big enough to start visualizing the girl in me by wearing my mother's skirts and dresses in secret. It would still be nearly 20 years until l learned about the concepts of crossdressing and transgenderism/transsexuality from the internet so l had to find my way through life with no guidance.
Somehow l managed to continue dressing without discovery through my teens and twenties, graduating from wearing my mother's clothes into those of my GF, fiancee and finally wife.
Two years into our marriage l came out to my wife at age 32, as I realised l would never be able to stop dressing. To her credit she did not pack up and leave but she was not happy about it and it was definitely not something she wanted to be a part of. She saw me dressed a few times but it put her off and she finally made clear she did not want to see me dressed or have anything to do with Marianne or her things, taking it to such length that she completely stopped doing laundry and let me handle that so that she would not have to come upon or handle anything of Marianne's.
My rescue was my frequent travels for work. Dressing in hotel rooms and sometimes partly in my car driving alone let me keep the girl and slovly make her evolve into a stylish and confident woman, whom l eventually presented to the public in 2014 at age 49. That started a time of immense joy, exploration and adventure, but sadly l also alredy knew her time in freedom would be limited as l had been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in 2012. You can read more about that in my article A Moment In Time from a few years back.
With increasing difficulties in various aspects of my life, Marianne remaines a sole beacon of joy and power, defending me from the darkness that threatens my very existence. Now going on our 27th year of marriage my wife, though aware of the significance of my feminine side for my well-being, still cannot openly acknowledge Marianne's existence or accept giving her a place in our life together.

Ellen MARIANNE Tornander
Moderator and Nordic Ambassador for Cross Dresser Heaven and Transgender Heaven

Loved reading this, and reminds me to be who I am, and own it.

Baily, thank you for your great article, many good thoughts in it.
To try to answer your questions.
Though in many ways my journey is very typical of most, I started early borrowing my Mom's things, gave it up and really thought it was just past me, like certain other childhood things.
However not too long after I was married the urge returned as now there lots of nice lingerie around so I started borrowing my wife's bras, which fit me fairly well. Here's the big difference, I never hid it from her, and she didn't mind. Eventually she told me I should buy my own! Which I did. Panties not so much, but for Christmas one year I bought some really fancy ones, but they didn't fit her, but fit me! So now I had panties!

Also, I've never done the binge and purge cycle that many have as well, though certainly I would feel guilty about dressing up and try not to do it again but as we all know I would in a couple of months later.
A big part of this I think comes from when I was in my mid teens, still dressing up in secret, then by chance finding and reading articles about grown men dressing up.
This was mid 60's so it was considered by many to be a disorder of some kind and needed treatment. This where I first encountered the term "Transvestite" which rather horrified me, as it made it sound as though I was somehow mentally ill and I didn't want to be!
This made a lasting impression on me, as dressing up was a dirty little secret which needed to be kept hidden.
Though as far back as the early or mid 90's I had the desire to get properly dressed up with makeup and the works and go somewhere, but that wouldn't happen for many years yet.

With the information technology we have now have I learned this isn't something terrible which needs to be hidden all the time. Finding CDH and joining up just over three years ago helped me learn about presenting as female and I finally made my first appearance at a dinner with a number of other CD's and TG's a bit under three years ago now.
My presentation at the time left a lot to be desired, but since then I've learned a lot about appearing as female and now I go out lots of places shopping for dinners, and I have wide network of crossdressing and transgendered friends. My wife does come out with me too.
Recently I have told my kids and their SO's about Amy and everyone has been great, even my son said, "Cool".
My only regret is that I didn't get to this point earlier in my life.

There is a movement against the kind perfect feminine models and towards what one might say regular women, those without classically beautiful faces, or lovely figures. Certainly one can learn to make the most of one's God given assets, but most will never be able to like look like those fashion models.
Which should be just fine. I feel one should try to make the best of what we have perhaps enhance our figures if you want to, but otherwise, we are what we are as the old line goes.
Celebrate our real selves, however we appear.
Amy

Hi I love the feminine way Patricia Honey One