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Give up the habit of being critical and make your life a much more enjoyable place to be.
Give up the habit of being critical. When you do, you will learn to love yourself and others unconditionally. The greatest thing I have come to understand is that every one of us wants the same thing; to feel loved and to give love.
Being critical of yourself starts the internal creation of a critical mindset in all areas of your life; judging, comparing, and assessing one thing “against” the other.
Being caught up in the drama of the earthly trappings can make us crazy, but remembering that we are a part of a deathless source serves to remind us that everything here on this planet is simply playtime.
I am practicing my thinking of our earth as being a big human day care. Around us are all the imaginable kind and different people, each in their own ways, and in that life, expressing themselves. Each thing is a perfect expression of what it is.
You and I are perfect expressions of whom and what we are, regardless of the judgments of others. They too, are perfect expressions of who and what they are regardless of our judgments. There really isn’t any us or they though because we are all perfect expressions of the one that life is, as it lives on this planet.
I cannot say that my mind is void of self-criticisms and self-doubts. I do find, however, that as I practice just noticing those types of thoughts in my own mind, and then consciously and intentionally choosing to speak a new thought several times, and out loud if possible, that the mindset-container of self-criticism and judgment has become noticeably smaller.
I can feel my confidence expanding from inside of me as I simply practice the skill of feeling and acting confident. I sit quiet every day, for a few minutes, and imagine how I want to be, as if it is already true. This past week in the local grocery store, as my amazing wife and I were shopping, several locals and staff of the store approached us randomly just to chat and visit.
I was so comfortable in my skin that I totally forgot that I was dressed, perfumed, and decorated with makeup and jewelry and wearing breast prosthesis. I was Char completely unguarded in the middle of a bustling shopping center to the degree of unconscious competence; Mastery of simply “being” there.
There are four stages of understanding; unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence and unconscious competence or mastery.
What a ride it has been to travel from unconscious incompetence through the four stages to this place of self-creating. Practicing, giving up the habit of being critical and judgmental of myself and others has given me unexpected surprises. Giving up using criticism has freed up and emancipated a deep feeling of belonging, acceptance, and welcome for me that is not being generated from the people around me.
By trading acting critical, for acting confident, I have grown confidence and certainty from within.
From acting certain, I have generated certainty, and by appearing as if I am accepting of all differences, I have become more accepting. This in turn is reflected in others acceptance of me everywhere I go.
By giving up the habit of criticizing and judging, I have opened myself up to so many wonderful feelings and experiences, and that my friends, was a Reset for me! Ping!!
Thanks for reading Your Weekly Reset and thank you for being exactly who you are!
Namaste’
Char
Char-as always you go straight to the point. The moment you look in the mirror and feel pride and confidence instead of shame and loathing is when you know you are on your way to living authentically as whoever you are. It is not necessary to know the end state to be confident of where you are RIGHT NOW. I recently joined a third league pool team and last night I decided to confide about Cyn with the captain (as I had with several other friends in the league). Imagine my surprise when she said “oh I’ve known about you for years “. When I asked WHAT she knew she said “that a lot of time you dress even prettier than I do “! LOL. She said all of the team knew and they couldn’t care less. And if we make it to Vegas for the national playoffs , we plan on at least one night hitting the town.
We worry so much about whether those we care about will abandon us if/when they learn who we are inside when in fact if we trust our judgment in making friends we should know that any TRUE friend will love us for who we are ..not for an outer shell that we present to the world but for the Caring loving person we are inside. This is not ALWAYS there car of course as some folks WILL shun or avoid us but far more often we will find that by being true to ourselves we show the world the best side of us that for too many of us had been hidden away out of fear.
Thanks Char for all the inspiring articles you write and helping so many to gain the confidence to live life to the fullest.
Cyn
Very beautifully said sweetie I wish that I was as brave as you. Thank you
Great article. I wish I was brave as you are
For a lot of us Gurls---It's not Fear of what others think or even shame--It's about practical matters-- Like keeping ones job/home ect--my supportive wife died a few months ago & now with only one income Paying the mortgage ect is difficult--& I would be out of work as fast as you can say crossdressers & pantyhose-- if they found out--I can't afford to be out of work for even a week or two-- With two incomes I/We had the luxury of taking that risk--& we did--Plus-with Alice (wife) doing my makeup I was way more passible ---I know there are laws Protecting discrimination but laws are for the well off & rich--I would Win a lawsuit only after I've lost my home & everything I have--
Oh, and I look forward to a pic or two of beautiful Cyn "on the town" in Vegas? hehehe