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We all love dressing up as women. Whether it's a modest underdressing, with panties and a bra underneath men's clothing, or more elaborate outfits, with dresses, shoes, wigs, makeup and accessories, it's a very pleasurable experience.
However, it's not cheap. After all, clothes, makeup and shoes are not free, nor do they fall from the sky. In the case of crossdressers, the situation is more expensive: since most of us can't dress as women 24 hours a day, we have to maintain two wardrobes: one for men and one for women.
In addition, women's clothing tends to be more expensive than men's clothing, which complicates things even more. But how do you get around this? How do you transform yourself into a princess without emptying your bank balance?
In the beginning, everything was simpler. Your sisters, or even your mother, would lend you dresses, skirts, socks, shoes, panties and bras - of course, most of the time they didn't even know about it.
Now, you're on your own. You have to pay for all of this.
A first tip, of course, is thrift stores. You can find clothes in good condition for a good price by rummaging around. If you want really new things, sales can also fall from the sky. Prioritize buying good quality pieces (read: durable pieces) at a good price. Outlets are good places for this.
Another idea is to definitively embrace your feminine side in some aspects, such as wearing panties every day or swapping your men's pyjamas for women's ones. No one (or almost no one) will see you wearing them. You can keep one or two pairs of underwear or pyjamas for special situations, such as doctor's appointments or hospital stays, for example. You can swap men's clothes that you no longer wear for women's clothes!
On the other hand, if you don't wear women's clothes often, they will tend to last longer. In any case, you should take good care of your clothes so that they don't get dirty or damaged over time.
Perhaps simpler, more neutral clothes, without too many details, are a good option: fewer things to cause problems. For example: structured bras with cups, underwire and back fastening can, for example, have the cups crushed, the underwire can suddenly poke through the fabric and - then your skin, if you are wearing it.
In addition, neutral pieces offer more combination options, so you won't need to have so many clothes.
You can have a basic makeup set, with the essentials to look beautiful.
Wigs can also be expensive, think about the possibility of letting your hair grow a little or get a short but feminine cut: enrich the style with accessories such as headbands, for example.
Shoes are a problem: large-size women's shoes are not usually cheap: you should do a lot of research to save money!
One way to improve your look without spending a lot is with accessories such as earrings, headbands, necklaces and scarves - some of them you can customize or make yourself, so you save money.
Of course, if you have a supportive wife, you can count on the gifts she might give you... here's a tip: most crossdressers have two personalities: female and male - even with different names. Just remind her that on your birthday it's "one gift for each"... of course, and you'll have to give her two gifts on her birthday to make up for it!
Becoming a princess without having the bank balance of one is difficult, but not impossible. You'll need to do a lot of research, find good places to buy good products at a good price, take good care of your clothes and accessories, learn how to mix and match looks and use your creativity to the fullest. Good luck!
- How do you buy your women's clothes and accessories?
- Do you think women's items are expensive?
- Do you have any other tips on this subject?
Sincerely
Marie Claire
How do you transform yourself into a princess without emptying your bank balance?
As with anyone on a fixed income, for decades, I try to buy selected new items on sale or I buy at clothing discounters, such as Ross (US) or Winners (Can).
I don't get to thrift stores all that often. On occassion, I have bought a few items close to original price (shivers).
@marieclaire2 Clothing discounters try to sell the clothes that didn't sell while still in their season - like books, these are remainders. If they didn't sell well, are these in any way the "best" products? Maybe, maybe not. They are cheaper than originally, true, but they could still be crap or inappropriate.
Thrift stores are also a problem for me because of style vs size. I may find a nice shirt, but there is likely only one of them... and it doesn't fit. 🥴
@harriette That’s true for the Macy’s, Penney’s etc. of the world, but Etsy, Poshmark and others act as a clearing house for private, independent sellers. The items may be used or brand new and seasons don’t really enter into the equation.
Rarely do I go to a thrift store looking for a specific item. To me it is the Thrill of the Hunt and The Luck of the Draw. When I want to be more specific, I’ll go to Etsy, Poshmark or a similar site as they have THOUSANDS of items. When I became a docent at our Air Museum, there was a “uniform” requirement: Museum logo polo shirt and baseball cap. The variable part was khaki pants, shorts or skirts. Periodically I will search Etsy, Poshmark and others for khaki skorts. I have serveral from about $8 up to $18 or so. All are well known brands and in nearly new, if not new, condition. Retail for these items would be from $40 to over $60.
Regarding Luck of the Draw, several years ago I was back in my home town of Toledo, OH. There is an international chain of thrift stores called SAVERS. Each store is a joint venture with a local charity. When I visited the one in Toledo, in the coat/dress jacket section there was a black jacket by Le Suit in my size that still had the tags on it. Since the stores are linked to a charity, retail stores will sometimes give them unsold merchandise. Anyway, the tag said “2 pce”. I picked it up, looked at it and put it back. Maybe 20 minutes later I was looking at the skirt section. There was a black skirt by Le Suit that also said “2 pce”. I took it over to the jacket and IT WAS A MATCH!! I tried the pieces on and they fit as I expected. For less than $30 I got a NEW skirt suit that retailed for over $200.
As they say about the lottery:
”You can’t win of you don’t play!”
@flatlander48 Can we find good bargains in thrift stores? I have. I lucked out on my first pair of heels.
Will I live long enough to find a second one? Maybe, maybe not. 😁
Yes, that is possible but it isn’t guaranteed. However, it does add to the fun factor!.
@marieclaire2 I have a pretty extensive wardrobe and probably 80% to 90% of it came from thrift stores or online sites such as Etsy or Poshmark. My shoes come from online retailers, such as shoe stores or department stores. Ince I sorted out how the sizing works 8-9 years ago, it hasn’t been a problem. But, one complication is sometimes the lack of hard measurements on Etsy, Poshmark, Mercari and others. Letter and number sizes are essentially useless on only serve to get you into the ballpark. The problem is that there isn’t much consistency between manufacturers and sometimes even within the same manufacturer. Also, the designer decides if something is to fit in a traditional way, body conforming or oversized. That is just a fact of life. If there are no measurements and the seller does not respond to my requests, they do deserve my money.
SO:
- Measure yourself. Department store web sites often have charts on how to take measurements. They also have sizing charts for the items that they sell, but avoid generic ones that tend to show up on the Sierra.com web site and others. One counter strategy is to see if you can find the item or a similar one on the manufacturer’s web site.
- DSW, Zappos and others have good conversion tables for shoe sizes. Note that 6pm.com is the clearance site for Zappos.
- I have bought a number of shoes on Etsy and Poshmark, but ONLY new unworn ones. Many years ago I read about someone having fungus and infection issues with used shoes and that’s a good reason to avoid them.
- Note that even though shoes may be the correct size, they may fit differently due to having open toes, open heels or less structure with strappy sandals. Shoe stretching can be possible with genuine leather materials, but synthetics tend to be less forgiving.
- Regarding undergarments, HerRoom.com has an excellent section on their web site dealing with measurements and sizing.
- Another point about thrift stores is that they tend not to have much connection with seasonality. For example, if you need summer items for a winter trip to California, thrift stores, Etsy, Poshmark and the others have you covered.
@marieclaire2 I browsed through eBay a few times for hosiery and didn't find anything to make me switch from amazon or target - with Target being in-person shopping. Also shop at Penney's & Kohls (and Walmart of course) in-person. I've spent over $40-$50 dollars for bras, but gosh I just find my Bali's are so comfy.
I tend to shop online since the selection and range of sizes is better than in brick and mortar stores. That said, I do always like to go the mall for some good old impulse buying. I don't find women's clothes to be all that more expensive than men's clothing. On the other hand, buying a nice dress for an occasion is probably a lot less than buying a men's suit for the same occasion. The biggest difference between men's and woman's dressing lies in the accessories. Women wear a lot more jewelry than me and that can get expensive at times. Also, women carry a bag which can also get expensive if you get a nice one. The best advice I can provide is to b careful when buying on impulse. I've bought a number of things that looked so cute but when I really thought about it, were impractical for my lifestyle. As an example, I love stiletto heels but considering how often I wear them, how many pair do I need? For reasons like this, a good return policy is important!
I'll admit that I was a huge impulse buyer for anything that had to do with Wendy. I would make up excuses like "oh we need this for the house so I'll add this cute swimsuit to the shopping cart", in reality we didn't need the household item I just wanted an excuse to buy more stuff for Wendy.
Another excuse I'd use is "well it is close to payday so I'll just binge". Before I knew it, I'd spend close to what my paycheque was before it was even issued by work !
And lastly, my wife whom is still ok with Wendy, flew off the handle because she has known for a long time that I was buying alot of stuff and then trying to hide the purchase.
Since Dec 2023, I've had to stop impulse buying cold turkey.
Now, looking back at all the stuff I've thrown out and the stuff that remains, I've learned to enjoy what I have and to stop buying so much stuff. And trust me, what I still have is a gargantuan amount, from clothes to makeup.
Looking back, I did buy from secondhand stores but eventually stopped as the items I bought would eventually just wind up in the donation bag again. To stretch the dollar, I would buy drug store brand makeup (most of them are very good), online I would go to the clearance section and see what is available and if in my size, I'd add to cart. That way the gift cards my wife gave me for christmas would go even further than buying stuff at regular price.
Dressing on a budget and being careful what you buy and still look fab - u - lous is very doable. For example, when I look for swimsuits it has to be a certain size, certain cut, and no bra support. Skirts, I now buy pull on vs. zipper as pull on has the flexibility in case you gain or lose some weight. And instead of buying the latest fashion, try to look for timeless fashion.
Cheap sites like shein or temu also help. Quality isn't great but the prices are very budget friendly.
BTW, my bank account has increased dramatically from not spending so much and me enjoying what I already have.
I don’t compartmentalise between men and women’s clothing as much any more. Women’s pyjamas with a long sleeved t-shirt style top and baggy bottoms with a string I have worn in hospital and the nurses didn’t seem to notice any difference. Aka loungewear. Same applies to some boy short style knickers that female nurses and masseurs have not raised eyebrows for. I often wear women’s t-shirts, tank tops, even shirts and sandals while presenting as a man - no probs. I’ve only got about 2 pairs of men’s shoes now but I do often wear unisex looking women’s ones from the remaining ~30-40 pairs worn for evening exercise too.
I don’t think women’s clothes are necessarily more expensive. I often pick up a few items from clothes dumps in my area - yes, people literally dump clothes in street corners illegally wear I live and I have found 3-5 quality items I can wear free of charge - once including a magnificent satin bra in a large bag of clothing left up my street. But mostly I use M&S (UK) or EBay for second hand clothes. It’s quite fun writing reviews for M&S in a feminine voice; unlike in the past, the sex of the reviewers are now invisible though some make customers to ID themselves.
All my shoes are mostly second hand. Further reading? Try “Shoe sizing in a crossdressing context.”
@soreyya I looked up the article mentioned.
"Shoe sizes are subject to interpretation."
"Conversions are subject to interpretation"
That's the whole game right there.
Shoe sizes, many clothing sizes, are arbitrary. The first time when we will know for sure if it fits is when we try the item on.
@harriette That has not been my experience. My larger foot measures 10.5 inches. On the Zappos men’s size chart, you will find 10.4 and 10.6 inches, which corresponds to size 9 1/2 to size 10. That is the range for all of my men’s shoes. Some charts post measurements that are a bit finer, such as 10.4375 (10 7/16) to 10.5625 (10 9/16), so Zappos has done a bit of rounding.
To carry that 10.5 inches to the women’s chart, the corresponding size is 11. All of my women’s shoes (30+) are size 11. Shoe design makes a big difference. Open toes and/or open heels can be more forgiving. Same goes for strappy sandals as they have a lot less structure and rigidity.
Where we usually have more problems are in the width. Most women’s shoes come in medium (M) width. Often men will require wide (W) or double wide (WW). There are some sizing charts that include width measurements, but that will require some searching.
Many shoes these days have uppers that are made of plastic (or plastic-like) materials. These are quite a bit more difficult to stretch compared to genuine leather. This can make a difference if you need to correct (expand) a specific location.
Over time, I have looked at probably more than 10 sizing charts. In going for consensus, more of them look like the Zappos chart. Also, Zappos has quite a reach as some years ago they were bought by Amazon.
@flatlander48 I know you have had good luck getting fitted, but it is just luck. Shoe sizes within one company's product line can be different for the same size number because they were made in a different factory. And once you fit 10 and above, good luck finding half sizes.
It depends. Usually, I fit Clarks 11W, but not always. Today I am wearing 12Ws and they are a snug fit.
@harriette No, it isn’t just luck. If that is the case, then I have been lucky for better than 10 years and that seems pretty unlikely.
My shoe collection covers 3 brands, at most. I also pay attention to the reviews on the manufacturer’s or retailer’s web site regarding the length and width. You will never know exactly where shoes are made, but the reviews will give an indication of what’s happening.
Check the dsw.com page for this shoe:
Mix No. 6 Saharra Wedge Sneaker - Women’s
This is the most recent pair of shoes that I purchased as i needed tan or khaki sneakers for my “uniform” for the Air Museum. Above the size chart is:
Customers say these fit true to size
And below it is:
Customers say these fit true to width
@flatlander48 My women's shoes range from 11-15, so, for me, it's been a crapshoot.
@harriette That being the case, they are nowhere near the expected dimensions. There are some possibilities.
- They could be mis-marked.
- Sometimes when a brand is bought by another company, the strategy could be to cheapen the shoe and rely on the previous reputation.
@flatlander48 It really doesn't matter how or why the sizing varies. The point is that sizing for clothes and shoes is arbitrary with each manufacturer living in its own isolated environment. When you can have more than one size from the same company fit you properly, too, you know something is up.
The great thing about standards is that there are so many of them.
I’ve been a member here for over 4 1/2 years and on other sites for some years before that. I have never heard of the kind of error that you mention with shoe size designations. Actually, look at it this way, if it fits, the shoe was made correctly but not labeled correctly. Roughly speaking, there should be something on the order of at least 3 inches difference in length from the size range that you mention, but that isn’t the case. So, the fault is not in the manufacturing.
When I was working in Taiwan, there was a very poor match up between labeled sizes and actual sizes. Because of that, I rarely buy anything directly from an Asian manufacturer. While many US companies have items manufactured in Asia, they do have a degree of leverage as the buyer. Asian retailers are not encumbered by that.
Anyway, although there are no specific standards for clothing or shoes, I have found shoe sizing much more consistent than clothing. Remember that I said the clothing designer determines how a garment is intended to fit. Bodycon is close fitting. Traditional or relaxed is a general sort of comfortable fit and oversize is, well, oversize. Shoes are not subject to this process, with the exception of serious athletic or cycling shoes.
A good example of this is how CHICO’S does their sizing. They have their own scale which is a bit like mental masturbation. Normally I am in the 18 size range. For CHICO’S this would be their size 4, which is what you need for a 46 inch bust measurement. However, in many cases their dress jackets are designed to be oversized. I have several that I bought from thrift vendors. By measurements, they fit fine, but they were labeled as size 3 or 3.5. That would cover size 16 (42 to 43 bust) and size 18 (44 to 45 bust). CHICO’S doesn’t say, but this sizing would have to be for a traditional fit. In other words, you take that traditional fit and oversize it to a degree.
So, the fault is not in the manufacturing.
Exactly. It's not an error. It is chaos. Some shoe sizing charts, some shoe boxes are now being labeled in millimeters, but I haven't had an opportunity to put this method to a test yet, so I don't know how reliable it will be. It sounds logical, though.
Anyway, although there are no specific standards for clothing or shoes
Actually, there are standards. Unfortunately, there are lots of them, hence my quip about so many of them.
Pretty much all clothes up to the 1800s industrial revolution were hand-made, custom-made for each person. The US companies tried standard sizing voluntarily first in the 1930s. Then the US government tried, in 1958, with their Body Measurements for the Sizing of Women's Patterns and Apparel.
Currently, there are a bunch of ISO clothing sizing standards, a bunch of ASTM standards in the US, then there are the European CEN standards, UK standards, German standards, France's standards, Yugoslavia's standards; Asian standards, plus Japanese standards, Thai standards, and let's not forget the Australians. And, of course, China will do its own thing anyway, plus I left out a whole bunch more, for brevity's sake. [Listen here for sighs of relief.] Well, you get the idea. All of this costs money and market confusion.
Many previous standards got superceded by updated regulations over time, too, including manufacturing changes through what is known as vanity sizing. starting in the 1980s, to account for the growing amount of obesity. You know, the 00, 0, 1, 2 system, and changing sizes to make customers feel better. Sounds obvious to me right? Clothing sizes from the 1950s aren't the same as today and, as I have mentioned before, sizing for one company's product lines still may not be consistent throughout.
One of the more recent standards, based on centimeters, which seems logical, is EN 13402 Size Designation Of Clothes. Somebody likes lots of company.
In the end, as far as consumers go, all sizing is still arbitrary. Bring a measuring tape when you go shopping and, if the shoe fits, wear it.
@harriette In order for a standard to be a standard, 2 things are required. It is structured such that all specifications are reasonably attainable and people agree to structure their products to support the standard.
Apparel falls down in the agreement part. Whatever organization created the standard usually has no leverage that they can use to enforce adherence. It would also mean that folks could not play games like CHICO’S or TORRID does with their sizing. It doesn’t make much difference to me, but many would prefer to think of themselves as a size 4 instead of a size 18.
Regarding the leverage part, many countries around the world have limits on the exhaust pollutants that a car can generate. If you cannot meet those limits, you cannot sell your cars. THAT is leverage!
Of the arrangements that I’ve seen, Japan is the only one that actually states sizes in metric measurements, but there could be others.
In the European arrangement, my women’s 11 is a 41 or 42 from the Zappos chart. Over the years I have bought several pairs of Dansko clogs and this is the sizing that they, and many other clog manufacturers, use. However, it doesn’t appear to be based on the metric system directly. To be honest, I don’t know what the origins are.
@flatlander48 I recently read a comment about vintage clothing sizes. In it was this comment:
"Additionally, each company might have its own system depending on the sort of fashion they sold."
Probably the closest example to having consistent sizing today would be from the big, well known jeans companies, but they are using a measurement system for sizes, not small, medium and large.
Once you start using associated sizing (S, M, L, or 8, 9, 10 for clothes, or 7, 8, 9 for shoes), sizes become arbitrary because each company lives in its own world. Manufacturers did try to voluntarily make an agreed upon standard, as I mentioned, back in the 1930s. It didn't stick because voluntary standards are not enforced.
@harriette Yes, as I said, you need leverage to enforce any sort of standards for whatever. If there is no leverage, adherence will not happen. Also, would a standard take fit into consideration? Considering body conforming, traditional/relaxed and oversize, you would need 3 variations for each size.
One thing that has impressed me is the sizing consistency of Gloria Vanderbilt Amanda jeans. What I noticed was that the first 4 or 5 pairs that I bought fit exactly the same way. After that, over time, I bought another 6 to 8 pairs without trying them on or checking for measurements if I bought them from online thrift outlets. Now, the last pair that I bought was maybe 5 years ago, so I don’t know if this is still true.
My pants and skirt size is 14. Usually this had a 34” waist. In more recent times, an increasing number of items that I have seen are being designed with a 36” waist. This goes back to the games playing and the mental masturbation. Would you rather be told that you wear a size 14 or a size 16?
@harriette I’ll tell you a story about manufacturing.
In the early 90’s I was transferred to a plant that we had in Illinois. They manufactured architectural glass and automotive glass. At the time, the door window glass attached to the window regulator mechanism by several pins. Each required that a hole be drilled through the glass. A case of door windows had maybe 60 pieces. About the last thing to do before the case is nailed and closed was to run a steel rod through each hole to verify that each hole, across all of the pieces, had been drilled. When doing that check, it was discovered that one location had never been drilled. What that meant was that someone had never installed a drill bit in that location or that particular drill malfunctioned and was never discovered or repaired. The pieces could not be salvaged as they had already been bent and tempered.
Anyway, the point is that there are many ways to go wrong in the manufacturing process from making the parts, packing the parts, labeling the parts and preparing them for shipment. It doesn’t do your reputation or your financials any good when your customer, in this case General Motors, sends a case of bad parts back.
I prefer to buy clothes, makeup, accessories etc in person and find that I can mostly buy in shops where the staff are not bothered that I am buying for myself. I mostly buy new, but did buy a second-hand dress for an upcoming photoshoot
Makeup, I mostly buy in person, but there is one brand (Alcone) that I can only get online.
Shoes - I have to buy online, shops don't stock my size.
Tights - I mostly wear Snag which I can only find online. Other brands I buy in shops.
Wigs, forms - all online apart from 1 wig that I bought in a shop last time I visited Brighton
The main thing is to overcome want for actual need. Temptation is the foe for the thrifty so make sure it is needed. Look at the item, check and recheck the size, perhaps walk away and browse elsewhere. Another key element to consider is if you get it will it be worn and if so will it be out of fashion before the year is out. Go for classic styles .
Charity stores will of course throw up a bargain but here in the U.K some shops are charging quite a lot. Check out these stores without buying to check out the stock and how often it turns over. Some of these shops can have new clothes from stores that have finished these lines.
Sales and sale rails are a real bonus as they have up to 70% off and again check the stores regularly to see what turnover of stock they have and be switched on to when the sales are on so you can get your size.
The likes of E bay has so much on sale but it is always be buyer aware. Ensure they have made a lot of sales, feedback is good and they give good images and sizing details. The same applies to internet stores as sizing can vary and pictures aren't always as they should be.
Makeup can be bought at cheap prices in stores and named brands do tend to be overpriced.
Look out for bargains all the time.
There is only one thing that I would think to pay as much as you can afford is a wig if you need one. It's no good being dressed as a princess when your crown lets you down.
I tend to use ebay and other online stores and l also use thrift shops, my wife and l share nightys as well.
I only wear ladies underwear too.
I bought forms online as well and my wife and l share make-up
I shop online most of the time but sometimes go into the shops, the thing is that I can't stop buying lingerie and dresses, I have so many clothes I just want to wear them out xxx
Yes I have been buying bra's and knickers from Braforme website and they are expensive but they are really nice and comfortable and the material is very pretty and feels so nice when wearing them
Marie, thank for your great article not only for detail writing but also stimulating interest whereby all the great suggestions from the other ladies here on CDH.
If I may add that my go to store to purchase my feminine wardrobe, accessories, and jewelry is Macy’s… I buy online and in store (not femme yet 😌) my wife who was a partime supervisor taught me never buy retail and wait for all their discounts… I am now a platinum member who takes advantage of notification of early discounts, free shipping, and receive award points which translates to dollars for additional discounts… e.g one of my favorite LBD’s retail was $79 discounts and reward dollars, I paid $29 lol… I will soon take advantage of visiting the store en femme because Macy’s is also cd/tg friendly according to Lucille Sorella “Feminine Secrets”… thank you for listening.
Warmest regards, Leonara
Thank you for reading and liking my article.
I also thank you for sharing your tips with us!
As much as i like really nice dresses, other than the Keystone big night, I really don't go to any dressy events. I still have many nice outfits I just don't get to wear them. With what I'm buying i really don't find women's clothes more expensive than men's. The exception is lingerie. As pretty as these items are, you would think they would almost give these things away. Everyone loves pretty sexy lingerie.
That was a great read. I do a lot of what you mentioned with starting at thrift stores. In the beginning I purchased a lot of great items for a song basically. Now yes heels are another story , I’ve become a bit of a shoe addict. DSW is my favourite shoe store as they have a clearance rack with size 11’s .I do buy most of my “Ashley” things on sale and a few online sites that are very reasonable. I did keep a few pairs of my boring drab male underware for certain times but have moved on to wearing my panties to doctors appointments as I told her about my crossdressing as suggested by my counsellor.
“ here’s a tip: most crossdressers have two personalities: female and male – even with different names'
So Well Said !
The only underwear I wear are women's. Haven't worn men's underwear in 40 years. My wife and I go thrifting all the time we come home with more for me than for her lol.
I started off not buying at thrift stores but at the clearance racks. Add to that some coupons and I was able to build a modest size size wardrobe for relatively little money.
Another thing I did was to salvage clothing my ex was putting in the garbage (usually without her knowledge). Of course this only works if you are both about the same size.
Recently, thrift stores near me have been closing the dressing rooms because there had been a lot of damaged items left behind. So now you better be sure you know your size before getting something from there or you will end up donating it right back.
Recently I have been wearing women's andronogynous (or almost so) clothing. Jeans, tee shirts, low rise socks, flats, and sometimes even cardigans or jeans jackets as men's wear. If someone looked closely they might realize they are women's clothes, but most poeple don't notice and no one has really asked.
I don't necessarily agree that women's clothing costs more than men's. For the price of one suit, which I only wear a couple of hours one day a week, I could buy a weeks worth of women's outfits with some money to spare.
