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I recently wrote an article at Transgender Heaven for woman who are struggling with going full time because they don't pass as well in public. The article is entitled 'How to Go Full Time When You Don't Pass'.
Much of the advice is also valid for crossdressers who are fearful of going out dressed for the first time. Though if you're not intent on transition I'd recommend you tread carefully when altering your body movements and voice. Too drastic a change could jeopardize your ability to lead a regular life when you're not en femme. You need to make sure you're okay with that.
For crossdressers, I think there are two other vital areas to be aware of if you'd like to improve your ability to pass in public.
Clothes - Wear what flatters
Now, honestly I'm the last person who should be telling you what to wear. Already your fashion proclivities are recalcitrant just by crossdressing. And you're free to wear what makes you feel most comfortable. If you'd like to improve your odds of passing, however, I recommend paying attention to what woman your age and body shape are wearing. What looks good on them? What doesn't? Use this as a basis to develop your own unique style, and do so with the confidence that you're starting from a safe, well worn style path.
Makeup - Beware the Bozo
Your goal when putting on makeup is not to hide every imperfection, nor is it to create a dramatically different image, one other than what you see in the mirror. You should approach makeup with a light touch, intent on accentuating your best features and drawing attention away from those that aren't as flattering. I recommend starting out light, with something like Bare Escentuals mineral makeup. Pay more attention to the quality of your skin - moisturize often, wear sunscreen - if you're able to get laser hair removal or electrolysis which will dramatically soften your skin. Take a look at a few more makeup tips for crossdressers here.
So go out and work your great looks, and don't worry about what others think!
What else do you do to pass as a woman in public?
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P.S. Follow me on Google+ for great discussion about transgender news and issues.
I just ware things that a women would ware today. I would not try to make myself look like I don't belong.
Tammy
how do us older C.D. go about coming out when we have to stay in the closet for so long were to find help so we can enjoy our true self. freerica52
PH: As an "older "CDer,
It would be difficult to open the doors, & walk into the light of day, EnFemme.I am a 72yo CDer, who started dressing as a kid & in public in the 60's.I understand the fear. I know the mixture of timidity & ecilleration. Confidence is key. Some men's Bodies are not "feminine " . I have worked hard to keep my body ready to be dressed. I also have had some surgical procedures to enhance my appearance.
You may need to seek professional advice on what it's going to take to leave the House!
Hi Vanessa and all of you girls out there!
One of the lessons, I hope I have learned, about 'passing' is to use Tammy's advice - I look when I am out in DRAB (DRessed As a Boy) and if I see a girl/woman that I think is wearing clothes that I think would suit me I try to replicate her look.
There are times (going out clubbing for example) when I would be very extreme or if it somewhere that I am known and excepted then the heels would get to be vertiginous! The makeup slapped on and the skirt short. Day time at Waitrose (a Supermarket chain in Britain for my American friends) then its jeans, wedges (or believe it or not flats sometimes!) T shirt and minimum make up.
The most important thing I find is to smile and look people in the eye! You will be amazed how many smile back or even start talking to you. (Young women in particular can be very supportive!) Sounds easy but it took sometime to get this level of, basically, doing what suits me. I can understand, like I use to think, OK for you hun but this is me - I am worried about doing this!
You will know when it is right to take the next step if you study the great advice contained here and in a number of similar websites. I wish you well - Enjoy!! xxx
Hi Vannessa,
I think you're advice is spot on. I'm not decrying anyone for who they are or what they wear if they feel comfortable but there are many who try to dress in a style that is too young or not suitable for their body shape. They will always struggle to blend in or pass. I myself set out to build my own style befitting my age and size. I want to blend in and be accepted as a woman when out and about. Blending in actually builds your own confidence and eases the stress which makes it easier for you to relax and enjoy your time whilst en femme.
I'm not saying I don't get nervous because I do especially before I go out. I used to open the door and peer out to see if the coast was clear before I'd venture out but now I think I am who I am and if I'm seen who cares, not me. Once I'm out though I tend to just be me and go about with what I'm doing. It's hard to describe but I feel comfortable and at ease with myself. I tend to feel totally feminine. I love going out its so much fun and so infectious. I just want more and more.
I need to work on my walk voice and make-up bu still I try be careful in public
These are all great suggestions. I follow all of them. I have been for 50+yrs.
Last night, I went to Costco to get gas. As I was standing at the pump, a young woman stopped beside my car, window came down.
She had a big smile on her face & started to speak. " What's the occasion, I love your outfit!" I told her I was going to a Rock a Billy PARTY. I smiled, lifted my right leg slightly, & rubbed my nylons together. I told her she made my day! It was a great feeling. I decided to wear that outfit this weekend!
I am the worst and I mean the worst. I have no conception I do need help
thank you for all the advise it does help a lot I am small so i fit in most clothes available
