Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
The last few months have been a difficult time for me. People I care for turned away from me, and those I thought were friends cast themselves against me and sought to harm others I care for.
When we are beset by hurtful words and harmful actions it is easy to respond in kind. You see the enemy charging towards you and draw your sword, ready your shield. Your blood starts pumping as you reach deep into your self-righteous anger to unfurl a battle cry.
Yet with any battle the outcome is certain - both combatants will be wounded, the body and heart forever scarred through the altercation. And when the fighting is over and the righteous anger has cooled even the victor will be haunted by ghosts of their aggression.
Indeed battle - especially with those you once cared for - can only end in defeat.
This morning I was listening to a song by Sidewalk Prophets called ‘Live Like That’. In the chorus they sing these words as they refer to a radiant and perfect creator:
I want to live like that
And give it all I have
So that everything I say and do points to you
Whether or not you believe in a god, or a Christian God this is a powerful exhortation to our better nature. That our thoughts, and words, and actions point to something more glorious, offer a glimpse of something more perfect.
I want to live like that.
At times in our community we come across others we disagree with - those who despite walking the transgender path are different from us. It can be appealing to cast them as an enemy to be defeated. Even as I bring my former friends in the transgender community to heart who wish us harm, it is tempting to feel ill will towards them.
I encourage you, as I encourage myself, to find love and compassion. The transgender journey is hard. One of the hardest I know. They bear hurts, and challenges, and scars too. Even amidst hurtful words and hurtful actions, they are still our family.
I pray their path is blessed.
Thank you Vanessa, good lessons for us all.
- Robyn
Thank You for your words of encouragement.
Some people get irrational and their opinion is the only thing that matters.
For me kindness is the only way to go for their lack of understanding and let the cards fall where they may.
Thank you for this. It's true in every instance, from wars to family squabbles. Sometimes conflict is necessary but it's never good. God Bless.
Amen-I never truly HATE anyone. Doing so only hurts me.
Cyn
As the old saying goes, hating someone is about as effective as drinking poison and hoping the other person gets sick.
Sometimes I wish I could just grab them all up like a mom who has heard enough of the squabbling and love them into a peaceful state. Thank you for providing a safe haven for us all who find CDH and TGH a place to share our lives and find support among peers.
Thank You Vanessa!! I try to leave the hard feelings behind.But I still need to work at it. Reading this has helped!! TY Pru
Forgiveness is a practice for sure. I know there are times I feel more forgiving, and those times I fall short and needs to continue to practice.
Thank you Vanessa. I want to live like that.
Sometimes life surprises us with cheap blows. We have to bring out the best in ourselves to heal our wounds and survive the tough challenges we face every day.
Hurtful words can't be picked up. It only remains to act wisely and forget them, so you can move forward.
Gisela
Vanessa,
Thanks for sharing this. The unnecessary acrimony can be heartbreaking. I appreciate your feelings and your thoughts!
Hugs,
Phoebe
Very Positive and uplifting message. I try to Live that daily.
Am about to start living on my own and taking my journey forward. I don't want to transition but do want to acknowledge the HIldaRuth within. I am fortunate to have my family's support. We all know it won't be easy. Your post was uplifting for me, reminding me I can and should reach out to my creator in good times and bad. Thank you. HRx
Best wishes in your journey @hildaruth - I'm so happy my words could lift your eyes and your heart.
Hi Vanessa I know you understand you have been blessed Your dedication and commitment to creating a safe, supportive and welcoming environment for the trans community is a blessing for so many of us who have been floundering around trying to find answers to the question WHY do i feel the way I do. Your creation has given me a firm, steady, supportive platform to begin a journey of self discovery that has allowed me to grow and let go of all the negative parts of me that have done no good for anyone including myself. Feeling safe was my first priority. I needed a place were i could be vulnerable without criticism. I have been protecting my inner self for as long as i can remember, I just got tired of protecting her. She has to learn to protect herself. I found your creation to be a safe place where she could begin her new life.I never expected to be supported that made my life so much easier. If i did not feel welcomed initially i would of never began this journey here. I would of just continued to hide and protect her from the harsh cruelties of societies rules. So Thank you for being real and looking after the those who feel vulnerable when they are exposed.
Love Stephanie
@qtestephy your words are a blessing to me. I'm so glad that we were here for you, and that you've felt safe to be vulnerable, safe to let your inner self shine!
Thank you for this article Vanessa. I’m saddened to hear that the anger that is polarizing the world has reached here as well.
I was so happy to find a safe environment where I can feel comfortable with being myself.
As you said, anger and hatred hurts all involved.
Thanks for creating this haven/heaven for us.
Love
Heather
Great article and so heartfelt.
I have defended my country and my community in service as US Marine and Police Officer. I can say from experience, your words are true. There are no victors in battle, physical or mental battles. Those fought with others transpose to battles within ourselves.
It is better to Love....beginning within one's self. Others will see the Love in you, and will eventually follow, in their time.
❤️
Thanks for your kind words @tgabrielle - and for your service to our country. Truly few know better the consequences of battle than those who participated on the front lines.
*Big hugs*!
Thank you for this article, Oh My, You surly deserve better than that as do we all,
What a beautifull article from the heart.
There is much love in you Vanessa. I wish I could hug you with a peck on the cheek.
Terri Anne.
Thank you @terria67 - you are a wonderful friend dear. how about a virtual hug
