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Now that just sounds crazy, but is it?
The one who approaches you with a venomous hatred is in fact the one who has been abused. They are the one who is truly inside the cage because they have given up their mind and allowed others to fill it with their own projections and beliefs.
And the sins of the fathers are visited on by the fourth and fifth generations, unwittingly.
Our deepest beliefs about ourselves and others on this planet are handed down to us by well-meaning teachers, like well-worn clothing passed on from generation to generation. Watch out for bad people; be weary of this kind of person; never play with fire and so on.
In my little family of origin, I was taught to distrust and be cautious of almost every other “kind of person” other than the ones who fit the perfect-person construct of the day.
Our DNA carries this encoded information in every carbon particle and cell our physical body is made up of, and of course, as our parents did, we also hand the same beliefs and DNA codes on to our own offspring, the next generation.
There were so many beliefs I recall hearing and rebelling against in my family; I witnessed such judgment and contempt for different people as a child that I chose to begin my own investigations even while still in school.
After I left school, I toured the continent playing drums and singing country music; I practiced bull riding; I bought a Triumph motorcycle and was able to hang out with real live Hell's Angels. I have taught school, college, and facilitated life skills groups and sessions. I also created my own suffering for years with cocaine and various other abuses and had a suicidal mindset. Yet today, I am more authentic, genuinely happy, and more financially abundant than I have ever been; I made some different choices for myself.
To step out of the matrix and think for yourself is one, big key to inner peace, one step toward ending your suffering permanently. How you think, see, and speak of you to others matters.
There is nothing as rare as the one-of-a-kind you. There has never been or ever will be another you.
Every morning, each of us is faced with a question we must ask ourselves. When I crawl out of bed today will I allow the old negative thoughts, feelings, and beliefs to continue to be my reality about myself and others or is today the day I intentionally and consciously choose what I think, feel, and do?
Before I set a foot on the floor every morning, I set a deep desire inside me. I decide what I am going to practice as best as I can for the day—Fear or Love? What I will think like, feel like, and act like this day; I then set foot on the stage of the day and begin practicing that desire. Some days the desire is to experience deep gratitude. Other days it's to experience abundance of the many things I call “good;” what do you truly desire? I practice feeling deeply loved often because this was not something I was taught as a child to do, so I’m making up for lost time!
I find that each day I choose to practice thinking, being and doing life from a desire to exercise kindness toward myself and others, the more in turn I experience kindness for me and more inclusivity than ever before.
Hitting the reset button gently this week and choosing to practice being the change we want to see in the world will give us each the opportunity to continue growing a kindness culture.
Perhaps we may have inherited some nasty beliefs and presuppositions of ourselves and the world that have caused us to suffer in some way, but today… we get to choose what we follow! Does that belief strengthen you? Or weaken you?
I choose peace, I choose kindness; as best as I can express and experience it fully.
Thank you for being exactly who you are!
Namaste’
Char
“ There is nothing as rare as the one-of-a-kind you. There has never been or ever will be another you.”
True statement and for the safety and peace of mind of the world probably a good thing! Idk if Th e world could stand two of me! LOL
But your points are valid. I do think there are some good things about inheriting some attitudes-it helps with personal survival at times-but as you said always with a critical review in our own heart and mind as to the validity of those attitudes. My own parents were far from perfect(though I went through NOTHING nearly as traumatic or difficult as many of our members here did) but they did teach us from earliest ages to treat all people with respect. My mom found out about Cyn at an advanced age five years before her death and didn’t want to SEE any part of her but was not condemning in any way. My dad LIVED the way that Rudyard Kipling wrote in his epic poem “ If”
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
I think that applies to us too-(taking “Man” to be generic for human)
Thanks as always for your insights Chat
Cyn
Wow a new poem and I love it!! aaand, I can still learn Yaaaaay!!! hahaha
Thaaank you Cyn, as always I just love our connection girlfriend. What an adventure hey?
and just for the record, I think the world could use a bunch more of you girl so fly baby hahaha Oh I would love to have had a long conversation with your Dad, I aspire to be so much more than I have been on this journey...there's still time to expand hehehe
I love who you are Cyn
Namaste'
n huggles always girl
Char
I see my Dad that way too, he's gone now but I got to spend 6 weeks with him just before, I learned kindness, respect, acceptance, patience, courage and a list too long to put here from that man, who I found out after he passed, that he dressed and so did one of his brothers as well...how interesting.
I've decided that if I'm blamey about what I call weaknesses in me that I was taught, I should also be blamey about the strengths I was taught or developed out of he experiences as well hehe
When's the weather best there? 😉
Namaste'
n huggles
Cyn
Char
It’s always good to be reminded of these things. We are all up against so much each day it’s hard not to lose perspective. Getting married and having a child have given me a lot to stay positive about, despite all the pressures they bring. However, living life all over again with a little one sends me into a very negative place, one that makes me re-evaluate everything that had been projected on me.
A lot of members of my generation were forced to put on a mature mask very young that made us feel « above » rébellion from our parents. « I may disagree with them, but they have the best intentions, » « they’re flawed, but so is everyone, » were mantras I repeated for most of my life. At 30, married with a child on the way it became clear they were actually irredeemable monsters and each day I fought this fact I was deeper and deeper in the hole I now have to dig myself out of. While they are less hostile and more « accepting » than some, I still have to un-learn almost everything I got from them and being from New Jersey, pretty much everyone else too.
Perhaps it was that final cut which forced me to finally address my need to dress. A part of me feared my mom would tell my wife that she caught me in her clothes as a boy and then what?
Aoife, thank you so much for this reply. May I say first you are magnificent girl, oh to have you beauty 😉
It so sucks to live under the pressure of being "found out" omg that is the heaviest wet blanket ever!
I recall the very moment in my life Aoife, where I was standing on the sidewalk in front of my house. Dressed of course, and had just exposed the last thing I had to hide about. As I stood there, with no more secrets, yes terrified, but soooo free because there was nothing anyone could say or point out now. I was exposed, openly, authentically.
I wasn't aware of it until that very moment but, it was the literally first time in my life I experienced the feeling of true freeedom.
I had "nothing" more to hide from anyone,,, and that feeling is priceless.
I have come to believe that not one of us is flawed, but rather, we are all perfectly created exactly as we are; it is only our judgments that determine whether a thing is prefect or flawed, good or bad etc.
I remember the day our first of 3 sons was born Aoife, my world went into a spin. I was a touring road musician then, not exactly a family suited career haha
My life changed as did I,,, then one day, as I caught myself saying something to my son I said I would never say, because I had heard it far too often as a child, I remembered.
I remembered who I was before the well intended ideas and concepts were lovingly repeated into my mind. In my family now and then an idea would need a little more persuasion shall we say; the strap lived atop the refrigerator...
I remembered my soul, my inner child self who loved, trusted easily, accepted everyone as is no questions. Char danced directly on the line of masculine and feminine without shame or guilt. Flamboyant and funny, cute and boygirly. Even writing this Aoife, I am remembering those tender times and feeling more grounded in my truth and authenticity so I thank you for also reminding me my friend.
We are beautiful people and we have nothing to feel shame or guilt about in being who we are, gently and kindly chipping off the layers and expanding our authenticity into visible ways without shame will set us all free and maybe, just maybe one day, I hold hope that the world will know equality and maybe for the first time, true freedom...
It's nice living here. . .
Namaste' dear soul, thank you for this..
huggles for you Aoife
Char
