Joanna's Cross Dresser Success Story - Celebrating the Woman Inside You

This week our cross dresser success story takes us all the way north to Quebec Canada, where we join Joanna on her journey through hardship to celebrate the woman inside. As regular readers know by now, cross dresser success stories are real life stories from wonderful transgendered woman all over the world. These ladies have conquered self-doubt, bad hair days and all manner of malady's to achieve success in some aspect of their crossdressing.

Please share your own cross dresser success story. It can be funny, scary, dramatic, emotional or described by some other adjective completely. A small slice of your cross dressing journey will shine a light for those who still travel this road in darkness.

Meet Joanna

My name is Joanna and I live in Montreal Quebec Canada. I have been a crossdresser since a very young age. Now divorced and looking to start the next phase of my life. I am 45 years old.

Joanna's Cross Dresser Success Story - Celebrating the Woman Inside You

My story begins at age 5 or so when I was playing dress up with my 2 younger sisters. I remember donning a pair of mom's pumps and putting a rag on my head to serve as long hair.

My mom sent me a strong message that day to never to repeat this (although she does not remember doing so) and things went underground from there. I continued to dress in my room and when there was no one home. I would go into mom's closet and wear her dresses, heels and makeup.

As puberty hit I started to feel the guilt around my dressing and began the dreaded purge cycle for quite a number of years. You see I was raised in a very religious household and this was an aberration. I remember one time as a teenager crying in the shower praying that the urge would go away. Of course it never did.
I married shortly after my father's death from cancer (in retrospect a mistake) and tried hard to suppress my desires for as long as a year at a time. I would buy clothes and after having masturbated in them after an outing as Joanna promptly threw them out always promising myself to never do it again.

Then after 12 years of marriage I told my wife about my secret in a letter to her which she actually found before I could give it to her. At first there seemed to be nothing but understanding and compassion around this issue and it was great. I entered a gender therapy program at the hospital to try and figure out where I was going with all this. My wife even went out with me a few times with me dressed as a woman. Then some months later she turned on the whole thing and said she wanted a divorce.

Our marriage had never been the strongest from the start and now this was the camel that broke the camel's back for her. I was not happy either and after having had a health crisis in late 2007 (as it turned out a small stroke) things started to really go downhill for the marriage. In fact during my 10 day stay at the hospital she came for a one hour visit.
I am now divorced and things seem to be going better. I am feeling more relaxed, my children are adjusting well and my ex and I are able to communicate better. We are co-parenting our children and focusing on them. The therapy helped me to accept myself as I am and to realize that I am this way for a reason. God loves me exactly as I am and there need for guilt or shame regarding this activity. My mother and siblings now know about Joanna and have tried to be very understanding - so while they may not relate to what I am doing they take my word that it is something very deep and trust that I need to express it. God love them for it.
I now celebrate the woman in me by regularly going out and doing the little things as Joanna. I grocery shop or go downtown for a coffee. I get tremendous peace from this and treasure this part of myself. I am currently living with my mother until I get a new place and she faithfully washes my boy and girl clothes. I know I really have a good thing there.
Although I am now alone and would welcome an understanding woman in my life, I will never again suppress this part of myself to please another. I have learnt that we all need to be ourselves and in so doing be a better person towards other people even if society rejects us for who we are.
Peace,
Joanna