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I didn't start dressing until quite late on (after I retired from work, more's the pity), but over the last six years or so, I have practised what quickly became my favourite hobby, whenever I can. I have chatted to a number of lovely girls over the years: going out in public as our female selves has often been mentioned, but in my case, never acted upon.
Quite some time ago one of my long-time friends, Angela Crosse, suggested that one day I should drive over to her house, and when I got there, dress and put my makeup on. Then two of us would go to a shopping complex for some feminine retail therapy. For one reason or another, I was never able to take her up on the offer, until last Thursday (27th February 2025).
To say that I was nervous and full of trepidation about walking around dressed in women's clothing in full view of the general public would be an understatement. Nevertheless, it was something I wanted to try and, having agreed to take Angela up on her offer, I was determined to go through with it.
I set off quite early on Thursday morning and arrived at her house at about 9.40am, after a very straightforward drive (other than hitting congestion in a few places). But the closer I got, the more on-edge I became, and I started to wonder what on Earth had possessed me to agree to go out in public! When I arrived, Angela invited me to go upstairs to change and put my makeup on. When we were both ready, we headed off to Rushden Lakes shopping complex in Northamptonshire, arriving at about 11.45.
That's when the nerves really kicked in. Angela had been expecting that with it being midweek, it would be fairly quiet, but the car park was almost full - I was horrified! I had two choices - either go shopping with Angela, or sit in the car on my own for hours. There was nothing for it, but to take a deep breath and get out of the car.
We walked over to a nearby branch of River Island, which fortunately was fairly quiet, and had a wander around. I spent the entire first five or ten minutes surreptitiously looking to see if anyone was staring or giving us funny looks, before I settled down, because nobody was. After that it really was plain sailing and, as unbelievable as it might sound, after a while I almost forgot that I was en femme. My wedge sandals kept reminding me though - I am not used to walking around in anything other than male footwear for that length of time!
We browsed around a couple of other shops and then went into Frasers, where an assistant came over and asked if she could help. She couldn't have been nicer! She made it very clear that she was pleased to see us. She realised that we were crossdressers (so obviously we didn't 'pass' as real women - not that either of us are under any illusions on that score). She just wanted to reassure us that we were most welcome to browse around the shop, and to use the changing rooms if we wished. She said that she had come over to speak to us because quite a few 'girls' are too shy to ask for help. We both felt very reassured by her attitude and demeanour.
We finally went for a bite to eat in the cafe in Marks and Spencers. It was busy and there were only two or three tables free, but by that time I couldn't care less who saw me, or who might be staring or commenting - not that anybody was. More browsing took place after a brief break. In Boots an assistant spent a good ten minutes talking to us about lipstick and lip liner!
As far as retail therapy is concerned it wasn't an overly successful trip. The sum total of my purchases? A cheap sponge! At least Angela bought a lovely short dress. I will just have to go shopping again, won't I? 🙂
We left Rushden Lakes shortly after 4.00pm, having been there since before midday. In all that time, I didn't notice anybody staring or make any comments, although I'm sure that it must have happened - Angela is quite tall, and although I'm only of average height, I'm still taller than most women.
I am just so happy that I have now been out in public, fully dressed and wearing makeup. I would have no qualms about going shopping en femme again. I wouldn't yet go out anywhere near where I live and I am not ready to do so on my own, but I would happily go shopping (or indeed to a pub or a restaurant) with another 'girl'.
Several of my friends had been telling me that when they go out en femme, members of the public are too busy going about their own business, and either don't notice them at all, or don't care. I never quite believed what they were telling me, but I found out last Thursday that they had been right. I just wish I hadn't been so worried about what others might think or say, and started going out in public as Diane long ago! I don't know when I will get the chance to go out again, but it won't be long, that's for sure 🙂
Brilliant! Well done you, Diane 😊.
So, how about joining us for CDH@LFF in Leeds on the 1st of August? It's already looking like there's a lot of members going and it's sure to be great fun.
Just a thought...
Allie x
Thanks Allie. I will be going you at CDH@LFF. I have booked into the Leeds Central Travelodge which is where quite a few members will be staying. I can't wait to meet you all.
Diane xxx
I'll be posting a poll later today to get a rough idea of how many people we're expecting at CDH@LFF. It's going to be interesting to see the numbers ...
Ellie x
I think there will be quite a few of us going - I know of seven already. I am looking forward to meeting everyone.
Diane xxx
I've posted the poll now - let's hope everyone fills it in 🙂
Ellie x
@dianebensoncd That sounds like a great day out & maybe even the start of a bigger journey. And you came home with a new sponge! A win win situation.
It really was a wonderful day and I loved every minute once I had settled down. I am really looking forward to going to CDH@LFF as it will be a completely new experience. xxx
Oh, Diane, I am so proud of you! I love it when a sister arrives at the point where she says "damn it, here's the real me!" It only gets better and more fun from here!
XO Shawna
Thank you Shawna. I couldn't believe how quickly I changed from a bundle of nerves to being full of confidence. I was expecting to be on tenterhooks all day. I couldn't have been more wrong.
@dianebensoncd Oh Diane, what a simply divine experience for you girl. I'm so thrilled for you. And not a bit jealous 😂 xx.
Thanks Chrissie! t really was a wonderful day which went far better than I could ever have imagined. I can't wait to go out again and am looking forward to meeting lots of other girls in Leeds at CDH@LFF in August. That will be fun. xxx
@dianebensoncd Reading your story, I could recall the feelings I had when I first went out. I still have them.
Thanks Patty. It was difficult to set it out in words in the article but it was basically a case of fear, panic and nerves followed within minutes by relief, excitement and euphoria. xxx
Yes I know. I have felt that many times. Many times I had to wait until my excitement level exceeded my fear level. But I have had a lot of insanely exciting and thrilling experiences and adventures.
Apologies Patty. LFF stands for Leeds First Friday and quite a few CDH members will be meeting in August. CDH@LFF - the big meet up, August 1st 2025 – Announcements – Crossdresser Heaven Forums
Congratulations on your en femme graduation, Diane!
She said that she had come over to speak to us because quite a few 'girls' are too shy to ask for help.
Which begs the question - how many CDs does she get to meet each month?
Thank you Harriette. In a way I do feel as though I graduated. It has certainly changed my perspective on things. We didn't ask that very pertinent question of the assistant. We got the impression that it happened fairly frequently though. xxx
@dianebensoncd Well done for doing that Diane! 🙂
I don't go out but have done and can thoroughly relate to your feelings as the day evolved. From fear to euphoria!
Thanks Caroline. Until you have been out and had a go, you don't really know what to expect and fear or similar feelings are uppermost. As soon as you realise that nobody could care less and may not even have noticed at all the enjoyment and euphoria takes over. xxx
You can't do that! Oh, wait-yes, you can! 😉 And you did it well! Now there's only more often and even better left to aspire to! 😍 Well done!
Thanks Kendra. I hope to go out again soon but the big event for me this year will be CDH @LFF in August.
So happy you got to go out and have a great day. I cannot wait for the next installment in your adventures.
Told you so. Now ,that you are a pro, do a weekend with the the sisters around you. Soooo happy for you🥰🥰. PS, you look fabulous!
Thanks Lorraine. You did tell me so and you were right! Now I am looking forward to meeting lots of CDH members at LFF in August.
Congrats sis for breaking the ice. Yea it isnt so bad as we all think until after we have done it. Now the door is open and sure you will enjoy many more trips out in public and it gets even better
Thanks Debbie. You are so right about it not being anywhere near as bad as I feared. I wish I had been out years ago!
What a wonderful experience! So glad you finally did it and crushed it! So happy for you! 🥰
Thanks Lisa. Now I just need to get out again as soon as I get the chance. xxx
Hi what a great article ,think of me next wesendaywhen I am going into town to a birthday party I am going by tram to old market square, and I will be dressed .feeling scared
Thanks Stevie. Good luck next Wednesday - you will be fine! You can tell us all about it next Thursday. xxx
Sounds like a lovely day out. And a great way to crack your egg, as it were!
Joanna 💕
Thanks Joanna. The day couldn't have gone better (although I could have done without the shock of finding that the car park that was almost full).
The more you get out, the easier it becomes. I don't pass. I might from a distance, but not close to.
I've said this before on here.... 90% of people won't even notice you. Only a tiny percentage will care, and even fewer will say or do anything negative.
Get out there and enjoy being you.
Cerys
Thanks Cerys. You are right, the day we went shopping hardly anybody noticed us. The ones who did didn't seem to care at all. Nobody said anything negative, although I suppose it is to be expected at some point. I have every intention of going out en femme again when I can.
Well done Diane,
I think that's my next step after getting my first makeover in December i think it's time i made plans for going out Enn Femme,
Hugs Roz X
Thank you Rozalyn!
I know that I have only been out in public en femme once but it was an amazing experience which I would recommend to anyone. Go for it, girl!
Love Diane xxx
Your welcome Diane,
I'm hoping it will be sooner than later, i would be happier if i could have the help of one of the girls to take me out, strength in numbers so to say,
Hugs Roz X
Hi Rosalyn
If you can find another girl to come along with you it will be far less nerve-wracking. All I can do is reassure you that all will go well when you do take the plunge. Good luck!
Love Diane xxx
Thanks very much Diane, I've got to do a lot of planning, I'll let you know how i go on,
Hugs Roz X
I love that excitement that fills you just before you step out of the car in the shopping centre car park. I must admit that you are right - once the nerves wear off you soemtimes forget you are dressed as a woman and I agree that people are so wrapped up in their own worlds that they mainly ignore everything else going on around them.
I am so glad you enjoyed your first outing and take it from me the more you do it the better it gets. From buying sponges to shoes to trying on dresses and getting a bra fitting. Once the door is open there is no need to close it again. Just revel in the fun of being a girl. Thanks for a great read. Ellie
Snap on feeling the excitement, although for me its excitement about going into the ladies clothing stores, being surrounded by the clothes and perhaps talking to a friendly female shop assistant about said clothes. Rather than being dressed myself.
I also know the feeling forgetting your dressed when dressing at home. I think that's probably one of the reasons I don't dress that much. When I dress I like to be very mindful or what I'm wearing.
Hi Ellie
When I was sitting in the car just before getting out it was part excitement and part fear and trepidation, wondering why on earth I had ever agreed to go shopping en femme in the first place.
Thanks for the encouragement - it helps. After all, I have still only been out once.
I had such an enjoyable time that I wanted to share it with others and hopefully encourage others to try going out for themselves.
Diane xxx
Thank you for sharing this experience with us. I'm reminded of my first time going out in public just last year. I went to an Italian restaurant with a group of 3 other crossdressers. They were pros at going out and it was of no concern for them. I, on the other hand, was incredibly nervous about it. Like your experience, mine was completely uneventful. No obvious stares or comments were noticed and only the nicest of treatment was provided by the staff. I've gone out many times since and to many venues and my only regret so far is waiting so long.
Thanks Michelle. I have only been out in public once so it is very reassuring to know that my experience was very similar to yours on the many occasions you have been out. I have the same regret as you - I should have done it ages ago. xxx
@dianebensoncd Good for you! It isn't without its hazards, but it certainly is excellent motivation to quickly learn how to swim! 😉
Thanks Melodee,
To continue with the swimming analogy, I had been dipping my toes in the water for a number of years but always at home. I doubt that I would have ventured out yet had Angela not pushed me into agreeing to go shopping with her. To be fair, I didn't need much pushing but, nevertheless, her encouragement and persistence made all the difference. Given how busy the car park was when we arrived it felt exactly like jumping in at the deep end but I was swimming proficiently within a matter of minutes. I didn't mention it in the article but safety always comes first and I am sure that there can be hazards. In my case I had a lifeguard with me (Angela). She gave me all the reassurance I needed.
Diane xxx
