Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
Hi Girls, I’m Karen!
Once a month I go to a support group meeting. This support group has stopped meeting only because just a few people were showing up as of late. I’m looking for a cross dresser group in Indianapolis. Since there’s a lot information online about cross dressing and so many more sites to join related to cross dressing, people are not going to meetings as much as they used to. I believe meetings are good because for some people it's a safe place to be dressed and not worry about not being accepted. I was that way for many years and dressed only at home or when going to a cross dresser meeting. Then there was a feeling inside me that I needed more. First time going to a store while dressed in feminine clothing was scary not knowing how people would react. However, at that time, I was only wearing women clothes with no makeup or wig. In the past six years, I started enjoying putting on makeup and wigs.
Once I started going out dressed, it led to such a great feeling going out shopping or to a restaurant while dressed en femme. When I go shopping for clothes and makeup, I wear dresses or skirts. I tried slacks and jeans, but they don't look good on me. I find while I’m out dressed, most people are very nice to me. I found store clerks or workers are willing to help cross dressers. I was at Ulta beauty where clerks and makeup staff are so nice and helpful to cross dressers. They also help by suggesting certain types of makeup based on one’s skin type and tone. And the girls also help with teaching teach me how to put on each type of makeup as well.
I went to dress barn once and the salesgirl helped me pick out a dress, a skirt, and some tops. I was even able to try them on at the store. I had some clerks say, “May I help you ma'am?” I also had other women compliment me on what was wearing from my shoes to my skirt and lace tights. It makes you feel good about yourself while out shopping and getting compliments from other people while out dressed as a lady.
I also had a feeling to go out and get a pedicure. I made a point to email salons to make sure there was no problem with me coming in dressed in feminine clothing. I had two replies where there was no problem whatsoever. I set up appointment and had such great time and the entire staff was so very nice to me!
Recently, I have a feeling inside I wish I was a woman. I am married to my wife who is very accepting of my thrill of cross dressing. Occasionally, she’ll even buy me feminine clothing. I am 58 now and wish I would have started cross dressing when I was much younger as do many cross dressers who are my age. But I love women and think they are so lucky having all those clothing choices they can wear. The selection of clothing in the ladies, women’s, and junior’s departments of a retail store is so much greater than what we have to choose from in the men’s department! No wonder women love to shop and spend much more money on clothing and footwear than men!
- If you had to make a guess as to the total amount of money you spend each year on feminine clothing, footwear, makeup, and accessories, how much money, within a few hundred dollars, would that amount be?
- Do you enjoy shopping for feminine clothing so much more than men’s clothing and rarely find yourself in the men’s department anymore like me?
- How many times have you totally purged your feminine clothing based on an unaccepting spouse or significant other?
Thank you for reading my article and please take the time to answer one or more questions I’ve posed to you above.
Sincerely, Karen
There is a Tri-ESS group located in Champaign, IL.
I enjoyed reading your article..
Femme spending - I have a monthly budget of about $20, allows for a new top or skirt or and oddment accessory. So the most I spend a years is about $240.
When I'm out shopping on my own, I always love to browse the women's clothing but I'm very fussy about what I buy - it has to be a 'wow thats gorgeous' item. I usually get my mens clothes by ordering online
Purges.. yep I've done it. My SO doesn't know about my dressing. My last three full purges have been at moment of a change in my life, its as if the femme clothes I have just weren't right for me, the wardrobe is built again after a break with a new look - it was like shedding skin and settling into a new one. Two years since my last purge and I'm really happy with my clothes and the way I look .
Thank you for your article, its' nice and well written.
So many things in your article are close to me, I have a very accepting wife, I love women, and Oh My, I wish I'd started dressing up this seriously so many years ago, when I first wanted to.
To try to answer your questions, I think I'm a rarity here I think because I've never gone and purged all my femme stuff. Even though like many, I started young, around 12 or so. Also, in part because I never had to hide it from my wife, and partly because I never had that much stuff, till recently!
Now I could fill bags if I were to purge, but I don't think it's ever happening. I love my clothes so much, even getting rid of a few things that were mistakes to buy is difficult. So I got rid of some guy stuff to make more space.
I do shop for women's more than men's, simply as there is so more variety in women's as we all know (and love).
However, back in January, my wife and I were shopping at a mall we often go to, and I bought some new clothes on deep discount at a women's store, then on the other side of the mall I went into a men's wear store and bought a few things there too. My wife was carrying the bag from the ladies store, so the assumption would be they were her's. Well one thing was, but the other's were mine. I really rather love the "gender bending", if that's the proper term.
How much do I spend. Oh Dear. I'm afraid to count! Sometimes several hundred dollars a month.
I find I'm like the dieter who says, "one last cookie", or "tomorrow I'll start cutting back", after an expenditure. Then a few days later my wife will see me on the computer, and ask, "do you need any more clothes". Of course I don't NEED any more, but do I WANT some? YES YES YES!
Amy
Karen,
I haven't been able to connect with any local CD groups yet, and of course it can't be done right now; but I could have written most of your story about myself, also. The thrill of dressing, then the need to dress; the joy of shopping...all of it. Haven't purged, though. Bettylou re-booted very late in my adult life, and with a supporting wife, there has been no need. And how much do I spend? Between clothing and makeup, probably around $100/month average. And every stitch on my body has come from the women's side of the store for the past 6 months, at least. My "guy" clothes are really stealth-mode dressing, now. And enjoying every minute of it.
Hugs,
Bettylou
If you had to make a guess as to the total amount of money you spend each year on feminine clothing, footwear, makeup, and accessories, how much money, within a few hundred dollars, would that amount be? $2500.00
Do you enjoy shopping for feminine clothing so much more than men’s clothing and rarely find yourself in the men’s department anymore like me? YES!
How many times have you totally purged your feminine clothing based on an unaccepting spouse or significant other? Once.
Karen, I so love going out and shopping as Annie. I have had many of the same experiences as you. Women seem to be excepting of trans persons. I love having makeovers. I love shopping as Annie, which is totally different from my other persona. I have spent quite a bit on Annie, having deprived her for so long. However, I always buy on sale. Lol. Huggs. Annie
Hi Karen! Thank you for sharing! I don't have an actual amount that I spent last year but would guess somewhere between 200 to 300 dollars! A lot of my clothes and items come from thrift stores or consignment stores which helps keep my cost down! The higher price items I have purchased were shoes, belts, jewelry and wigs! I have accepted the fact that you can't go "cheap" on these things since you need the appearance (wigs) and comfort (shoes)! I did purge once, but mostly lingerie! I realized that I needed more practical items for style and comfort! I am on my own so I can dress up whenever the opportunity arises! I also enjoy being out in public dressed "en femme"!
Hugs
Michelle
The point about support groups is a good one!
I went to a support group meeting for the very first time in early February, and met 5 very lovely ladies, each with fascinating stories and a penchant for talking about awful railway stations.
The fact that the meeting room would have catered for 5x that number was kind of sad.
In a big town like that, surely there are far more than 6 cross dressers, many with issues that seem impossible to resolve.
In that kind of environment, everyone is open and supportive - I cannot say enough about how useful these groups are, and of how much support they deserve.
You get out more than you put in.
One general question was for everyone to describe something cool they'd done in the last month.
I described, briefly, my January trip to Brighton.
When I finished, one of the other ladies asked if she could come with me on my next visit - and did so!
So there seems to be a stigma just with the term "Support Group", but these are people like us who are very supportive of one another, and hence worthy of support.
This "support" is simply the ability to make a cup of tea and make friendly conversation, nothing more and certainly nothing less!!
Go on - once COVID-19 blows over, go to a support group. Just once.
Then thank me for the recommendation. :0)
Love Laura
Great article, Karen! I might suggest(if you haven't already done so) looking into attending one of the CD/G conferences like Esprit or Keystone (post Covid of course). There you have the opportunity to be full time for 3-7 days in a supportive environment with our community. I've written articles and forum posts about my experience at SCC (once 2016, first conference I attended), at Esprit (2017,2018 and 2019) and Keystone(2018, 2019) and will do both Keystone and Esprit again(sadly not 2020 due to Covid cancellations-but definitely 2021).
Never purged and divorced years ago so I have a VERY extensive wardrobe (aka Narnia aka Cyn's boutique)- lost count but its 300+ pairs of shoes, 400+ dresses, 200+ tops , and countless camis,undies, etc as well as a very extensive jewelry and makeup collection. Replacing it all would cost a fortune -tens of thousands of dollars. Due to the large wardrobe my annual spending is less now but still probably several thousand per year. And as you would guess- yes I love shopping!(online and in person)
Cyn
I enjoyed reading your article and am so happy for your successes going out, shopping, and getting makeup done. That has to be a wonderful feeling for you to go into Ulta and be helped by the staff. I am not in a place where I can dress, reading this gives me hope that when I am, I’ll have the courage and confidence you do!!
Thank you for your reply, stay safe
i hope your easter weekend is well and your best look is forward . im getting ready as we chat
Hey Karen,
Thank you for your article.
Nowadays I only purchase men’s clothing when I want to mix with girl’s clothing I want to purchase as well, like a disguise strategy, as I’ve never got out dressed as a girl. Surely the amount of men’s apparel purchased fell drastically.
xoxo
Daisy
I too am looking for support around Indy. I love going out as a girl. Where do you feel safe.
You're a very lucky and blessed woman. Most every 'lady' that I know is either hiding in the closet (me) or has been given some sort of ultimatum.
I know one who's wife is somewhat accepting and she and I have time to have 'dress-up' play dates.
I'm located somewhat close to you but have to keep myself hidden from the public eye, but would love to chat more if you'd find that accepting.
crossdresserindy@gmail.com is a great way to reach me.
Hi
Thanks for reaching out. I also hide things from her. She has limits. I do take days off work and dress up then go shopping. I use to go to indy to support group once a month then I would shopping. but when covid hit and stopped coming to the meets it stopped. I miss it alot. being around others. Yes I would go shopping with her, I am sure that not going to happen. I have female friend in Kentucky if she lived closer she would go out with me. I have not gone out for awhile. I hope soon. Hope we can talk more, Hug
Karen
