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Like many of you, I’ve had the urge to dress up in all the fun and exciting clothing that cis women get to enjoy ever since I was a child. Lovely pink dresses, satin ribbons, and the cutesiest hairbands. These were all things I wished that I’d had the chance to experience as a young girl. But more than anything, the one thing I wanted most of all was the chance to experience ballet.
I remember being silently distraught at the fact that as a boy I would never get the chance to dress up as a lovely ballerina and learn the movements to grace the dance floor. I watched with envy as other girls got ready for ballet lessons after school, knowing that I'd never be allowed to join their class (for me, not even as a boy dancer.) As a child, I was found out several times by my parents, and was severely scolded for it enough to know that I needed to hide this side of me. All I could do is admire from a distance and dream that one day I could wear a tutu and become a graceful ballerina.
When I finally allowed myself to explore my femininity more fully, I thought back to that lost opportunity. Then I realized it was not lost at all, and that I could become that vision of grace and beauty! After months in lockdown there appeared one silver lining. I found an opportunity to buy dance clothes and finally learn ballet myself!
I bought all the items needed to become a ballerina: pink ballet tights from Capezio, ballet shoes, a black leotard, and of course a tutu! When the bag full of goodies arrived from DiscountDance.com my heart skipped a beat knowing that finally, after all these years, I would get to live my dream as Michaela, the Prima Ballerina. There was the obligatory preparation - a warm bath and a close shave, makeup, and hair. With great anticipation, I opened the bag like the children opening the presents in the Nutcracker and was so extremely excited to see the dreams laid out on my bed in front of me!
One by one, my ballet dreams took shape: first the pink ballet tights rolling up my legs, then the leotard hugging my figure, and finally that pretty pink tutu that flared out as I put it on. Completing my look with a pair of ballet shoes, I made a point to not look in the mirror until I was ready.
There she was-Michaela, the prima ballerina! My eyes swelled with emotion as I came to realize that even as a fully grown adult childhood dreams can come true! I hope everyone can fully realize their dreams, and that you can live your dreams no matter how old you may think you might be.
@michaelacruz91 Good for you, enjoying your dream.
I've never had the desire to be a ballerina. Come to think of it I don't recall ever having the urge to be anything like that except a French Maid. Perhaps this year will find me at last experiencing my dream.
Oh Michaela,,,,I had the same dream as a child,,would look at pictures of ballerinas and soo wish I too could dance...Envy filled me watching girls after school get ready for dance class,,,wow,,,now I am following your lead! Thank you for the wonderful story!
My dream is starting to come true,,,found a lovely pair of Capizio pointe shoes,,,pale pink,,and a gg friend knows of an instructor!! Thank you Michela, for replanting my dream,,
Yes! Definitely follow your ballet dreams! I hope I can find a ballet instructor here in Seattle that wouldn’t mind teaching me at least The basics. We are still in lock down but I did try to follow a few videos online. One thing I realized, it’s a great workout
Well, I am impressed, Michaela! I’ve always been a great admirer of the ballet. My ex-wife was a ballet instructress and ran her own studio for decades. I never missed a Nutcracker or a recital. But I confess I never had the dream of actually dancing the ballet, not even in the male roles let alone as a ballerina!
This is taking CDing to a new level of specificity. You’ve got “ballerina calves,” I’ll say that, and a fair Fourth Position, too (is that Fourth Position, or am I forgetting my basic Five?). Next thing is to get yourself a pretty new pair of pointe shoes, break them in, and then sign up for class at a CD-friendly ballet school!!! Make your dream complete!
See you at the barre!
-- Camryn Occasionnel
Hehe, you are right, I was trying to do a fourth position
Thanks for the encouragement, I saw a few places in town that look promising
Cute story Michaela! At least you've created a wonderful experience and memory of life during the lockdown.
Great look, you have that ballerina poise!
Yes, being a ballerina is a CD experience which has meaning for many of us. Cheerleader, ballerina, bride, maternity outfit, bridesmaid, etc. These images just emit so much femininity that I guess for many CDs, self included, they overload our brain with the Pink Fog.
Michaela, by all means, chase your dream!
I told my ballerina story a few times here on CDH, so I won't go into much detail. I got to be a ballerina only one time in my life, at age 10, in a cub scout play, For one month, every Friday & Saturday night we were made up and put into costume by a local dance studio and professional make up artists. The adults raved and fussed over us, taking many photos, saying over and over how we looked like pretty little girls. After the act, there was more amazement over the "pretty little girls."
Most of the boys in the act could care less and just wanted to get out of the silly looking girl clothing. For a very few of us, we were hooked, probably for life. I was already cross dressing, since as long as I could remember, wearing my mother's clothing, and the girl across the street was dressing me as her girlfriend.
The cub scout ballerina act, however, was like a "confirmation." I knew, after that, I would always for life want to dress often in pretty female clothing, and I have, ever since.
Hugs to you Michaela!
Peggy Sue
Oh wow! Lovely story Peggy Sue! I’m sure had I had that chance I would have been in cloud nine in Ballet heaven! Probably wouldn’t have wanted to get out of my costume
At least better late then never!
I am so happy you have lived your dream - well done - and your outfit is very pretty.
Hello Michaela. I am so so happy to read this hun. I have tears for you. To be who you always wanted to be. Hidden all this time. Finally, you are free. Your soul set free and full of joy. I am so happy for you. You look beautiful hun. Please dont loose that freed soul. Cherish it. Hugs Natasha
Thank you so much Natasha! I’ll make sure to remember that and enjoy dancing the stage and hopefully radiate that beauty into the world
Thank you for those such kind words!!
Hello Michaela. Your so welcome sweetie. I hope you get to dance your heart out hun. Your soul deserves it. Hugs, Natasha
Hello Michaela, You do look lovely in your ballet outfit, & I am pleased that your dream has come true. I also like to wear a ballet outfit, & have a pink leotard with a tutu fitted on, worn with white tights & shoes. It was never a dream of mine as a child, but I do like what I call girly [ballet/princess] clothes. So keep wearing the outfits you like & enjoy yourself, love, Helenmarie
Hello lovely ladies! Thank you all for such kind support! Remember to be yourself and follow your dreams and that image of beauty! For me it’s ballet, you all are amazing
Beautiful! Good for you!
OMG what a beautiful picture! I have so got learn how to dance!!
While males get to wear tights as ballet dancers, its the shoes and tutu that really make it work. And it's a lot less exposing in a tutu! More power to your pirouettes!
Wow! I hadn't thought about this for many years. Now I'm inspired. I used to watch with envy my older sisters dressed in their leotards leaving for ballet practice. I so wanted an outfit like theirs. Especially the tutu. I'm going to do so shopping.
