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Hi Girls,
I haven't been a member here for that long. While cruising the CDH site and reading various posts, I’m have noticed what appears to be a common theme among a lot of the “mature” girls. This theme is that many mature crossdressers, like myself, have an increasingly strong desire to dress en femme as we get older.
For myself, having two sons involved in competitive sports severely curtailed my ability to dress for a period of over 15 years. Having shaved legs and very little privacy made it very difficult to participate in simple things (such as swimming). My feminine indulgences were limited to occasionally shaving my legs or wearing feminine undergarments. Additionally, my prolonged hiatus from dressing was accompanied by some weight gain, which meant many of my feminine clothes were too small. Since nothing fit, I gave my wardrobe away. Since that time, I have lost 68 lbs and worked hard to get in better shape. Once I had lost the weight, my next task was rebuilding my wardrobe - I bought dresses, skirts, blouses, lingerie, wigs, heels, makeup, and accessories. My new wardrobe put my old one to shame. I even considered trying female hormones, not as much to transition but more to soften my skin and help my girlish figure. I ultimately decided not to try hormones because of their increased risk of heart attack and stroke (both of which also increase with age). Another thing I have noticed is that our reluctance to show our female selves fades a lot as we get older. I find I am more concerned about how I feel than how others view me. When I was much younger, passing was less of an issue. I could get out and about with less worry. However, I was more concerned about how I was viewed at that time, so would get anxious if I thought someone was paying too much attention to me.
Have any of you other girls out there experienced this overwhelming desire to dress more as you've gotten older?
Or is this desire unchanged by “Maturity”? Let me know girls! I am very curious about how you feel and very much looking forward to reading your replies.
Love you all! Be safe and take care.
Love,
Trish
On point! As we get closer to the funeral home than the womb, I think it boils down to TRUE happiness in our waning years. We (assumption here) have spent too much time on the happiness of everyone else, yes including society, that we go with the norms and don't rock the boat. IMHO, YMMV
Toodles!
Hello Trish and thanks for your post.
Yes, I believe as we age, our feminine desires, or the Pink Fog, grows stronger and stronger to the point that our female self has to be expressed or we will suffer mentally. Such strong emotions as most have affect our world whether we express them or not.
Some time back I ran a poll here asking members what age they were and the great majority were 60 and up. I think the average mature age happens because of several factors.
1) Most CD's have had fem feelings all their lives and never had an opportunity to act on them except for very brief sessions
2) There isn't much time when raising a family and having a career
3) We see the clock ticking and it becomes now or never
4) Empty nesters have more space and opportunities
5) Retirement allows us to have more private and flexible time to experience what we've mostly been dreaming of all our lives.
6) An SO is more likely to remain in a long term invested relationship even knowing their SO is a CD. There are a lot of don't ask, don't tell, (DADT), relationships among CD's.
7) We realize our mental health is in jeopardy.
8) We're old enough to get that senior attitude of... I don't care what you think, its my life.
I'm sure there are other reasons and we all have to do things our own way but it's true for at least here, the members are mature girls expressing themselves.
Go for it girls!... we aren't getting any younger!
Michelle
Thank you Trish and Michelle, you have helped me understand the question I have been raging in my head “why now” which I was using as ground to deny that this could possibly be part of me if it had not been there all along, but the more accept that it is me I can see tell tail sign from my past and how I have subconsciously suppressed this until these factors have finally allowed my to put my big girl panties on and face the truth.
Oh... BTW... you look great sweetie!
Hi Brielle. Yes, I was commenting on Trishs pic but no problem dear.
You are a beautiful girl as well and I'm jealous of both of you darlings. I love all of your outfits that are matched so well. You look so great and so feminine with that cute sweet smile. I love your style girl!.
Hi Trish, oh- absolutely! I'm a seasoned citizen myself, and I was always able to slip in and out of girl-mode at will and not be too dysphoric in between sessions. About this time last year I started stocking up after a 5-6 year purge. My wife was working outside the home, I was(still am) working remote. I'd had a few days, long weekends, etc. before so dressing all day wasn't a new experience.
But something clicked inside and I suffered dysphoria if I went a coupkle of days withoiut dressing. Now, I'm an all-or-almost nothing dresser. If I can't completely dress (except for fals eyelashes and fake nails, I guess) I won't dress at all. Having 2-3 days a week to dress before I logged on for work, then cleaning up before my wife got home in the evening. This was a new experience to work en femme regularly and I realized I didn't want to stop or get caught by surprise.
Many girls here know the result is not just dressing more, but I've elected to transition (at least with HRT and an orchiectomy) and go FT as a woman in about a year, I hope.
So true Twilla
The desire never leaves you, it is that the opportunities increase as you age. You have spent a life pleasing others and fulfilling your obligations now it is your time. Enjoy!
First of all, you look gorgeous - happy, casual, well dressed.. lovely. What I wouldn't give to go for a walk with you girl. I love your story, so similar to my own and now that the kids are grown and gone there should be time for Lauren. But, alas, now I have less chances than ever to change since I am also retired and no more ability to stay out. But the desire to change and go out is stronger than ever and, yes, I care far less about what others are thinking when they see me. In fact, it's usually complimentary if they say anything. But at 6'5 in heels, there's usually not much in the way of teasing me. Covid has really cramped everything further so there is a lot of tension building up over here.
Love what you wrote, we are in the same camp!
Hugs
Lauren
Hi all,
This is such an interesting topic and my wife and I have been discussing this.
I have never wanted to cross dress until 5 years ago I am now 50, so I’m just a baby on CDH. We initially put it down to that my wife for many, many years had lost interest in sex and also dressing feminine, so I thought it was a strong factor in why I started to CD. So yes it started out sexual but then has developed way past that, more a way of life (when I get the chance - kids).
I have noticed that the majority of active members, seem to be a lot older, so I too was wondering about it.
As we get older our testosterone levels drop naturally and also, if Dr Google is correct, our estrogen levels increase. I have noticed with myself, as I am very in tune with my body being a serious marathon runner, that my body is changing.
So would it not make us mentally more fem?As well as physically, more breast tissue, less muscle mass etc.
I have always been very, very active - surfing, running, bike riding and I pride myself on my ability to keep up with my 16 year old son, where as most other dads my age cannot but I find myself mentally now, thinking about being Sally most days. Sally is more relaxed, caring and omg definitely feminine.
I never thought like this, ever, and so from my own life changes I am thinking a strong reason for me is a chemical change within my body.
Maybe, it is something that younger CD have, higher levels of estrogen. I do not think it is a bad thing, on the contrary, I love Sally and have embraced her whole heartedly. So as our male selves get older we finally become better people (that last part is a joke).
Anyway this is another discussion for Sally and my beautiful SO over a bottle of white.
Sally
Xxx
Oh my gosh, this article just rings so true with me! I love being me, I love being out, and while I enjoy blending in I have no problem standing out. While I have dressed for years, starting very young, Haley was not born until July 2019, and I can remember the day. When I put those forms in my pocket bra, put my wig on, my denim skirt and my black lacy top with the red rose…Haley was looking back at me from the mirror. I recognized her like you would an old friend, and I knew her name was Haley. My desire to be her, to assume her female role in my life is starting to become more prevalent even in my drab dress and mannerisms, but I absolutely love to dress. I even enjoy working out in my tights and sports bra!
Amazing essay, thank you
Stop it Lauren, you're making me blush, but thanks for the compliment that was very nice to hear. Maybe you'll shrink alot will you age, I used to be 5'-10 1/2" and now I'm 5'-9" which is ok with me, lol. I hear you about covid, I used to go to Vancouver once in awhile to shop and go clubbing at night but, like you, those days are over for a while :(. Have a good weekend Lauren.
Geez Sally, I'm totally jealous! I've been married for 47 years and told my wife of my crossdressing before we got married. I felt I had to and certainly hoped she'd be supportive but that hasn't happened. She tolerates it but I must say she seems to be mellowing out. It sure would be nice if she accepted Trish one day. It would be good for both of us I think. Have a great weekend.
Cheers,
Trish
Hi Trish, I count myself very lucky. My wife was shocked at first with all the usual questions like are you gay but once I put her mind at ease and she saw how much fun Sally can be, she is totally accepting. My male self never stops, always active physically and mentally. I tend to wear the whole family out, including my kids - so when Sally appeared and she wanted to have sit down discussions, cocktails, listen to music and generally relaxing times the wife has embraced this. I think at first she blamed herself for my CD, as our love life had been non existent for many years, not her fault, it was the female pill that did this to her and misdiagnosed by male Drs. That still gets us angry. Plus she is my best mate, so I was not ever going to leave. Sally was like our marriage saviour to be honest. Initially she satisfied me, now both of us. Oh and without getting to personal Sally and the SO have some really fun times together as well. I hope that you SO can see the positive sides to Trish. I feel, dare I say it, as men it makes us better - we understand them, we have an insight into the female side and definitely more caring and so much more…
Good luck Trish
Sally
Xxx
Hi Trish. What a fantastic post. My wife always embraced and encouraged "April" as she has softened my male side to her liking and of course mine. We do have fun together as my male self and "April". As two 6 foot blondes out in public, we do have fun!
I luv your idea of cocktails, listening to music and conversation.
Wow, maybe I shouldn't be, but I'm surprised at the number of girls just starting their journey a lot later in life. I was crossdressing since I was 5 year old. But, better late than never. Even if their was a cure for crossdressing I would not take it. I love being able to experience both genders.
Cheers,
Trish
True true Angela and I hope the desire never does leave. It would be like losing a part of me.
Cheers,
Trish
Hi Trish,
I agree that wanting to be a crossdressing trans women increases as one gets older. Michelle McQueen's eight reasons are so right on! With time, comes a knowledge of one's self and gradually increasing acceptance of the female inside of us.. Once you have full acceptance, all doubts go away and one becomes a mature crossdresser able to enjoy experiencing both the male, but especially the female view of life.
Love your outfit, lady!!
I appreciate your comment Marian, thanks. Have a great weekend.
Cheers,
Trish
