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Normally, Natalie is not one for partying, but New Year's Eve 2024-2025 presented an opportunity to break out of my shell a little. A New Year's Eve party was being held in St. Paul and it had a Chappell Roan and Drag theme, along with music by other artists like Lady Gaga and Sabrina Carpenter.
My partner and I sort of hemmed and hawed regarding actually going to the party but, eventually, we decided it would be fun. I thought it would be good to get out as Natalie, into a group of people where I can't just hide in the shadows. And since it was a drag show and Chappell Roan has this aura of acceptance among her fans, it seemed like a pretty safe place to explore.
The night started off well as we showered and each did our makeup. My partner helped with my eyeliner as I really wanted a cat eye look (I love the look but I am terrible at it), and I mostly got my false lashes on right. For the most part though, we each got everything done we wanted and then we were ready to head out - only 30 minutes later than I had hoped, but that ended up not being a big deal at all.
We drove downtown and we knew we wanted to get into a parking garage near the venue. We found it, but ended up driving past, so we needed to circle the block. Eventually we got back to where we needed to be, parked and walked to the venue. I will say that walking at 8:30 PM in a major city in the cold was a bit nerve-wracking! But we saw basically no one - just 2 or 3 police officers, who looked like they were just hanging out. Of course they said nothing as we walked by.
We got to the door and had to stand in line a little. I am still working on my confidence, so I couldn't bring myself to make eye contact with anyone except the door staff. I presented my (male) ID and no problems at all - we went in and got a seat. We got a couple of drinks as well, and the lady pouring the drinks called me "dear", which was a bit affirming, even if it does tend to be a more neutral phrase.
Anyway, we sat down and sort of kept to ourselves. There were some opportunities to have others sit next to us, as seating was filling up and we happened to be in a booth, but I still had some trepidation. But after a while, we moved to the dance floor and slowly edged towards the stage as the night went on - to the point where we were basically right in front of the stage by the time the drag show began.
I must say - I don't think I actually like drag shows much 😳 I could see a lot of people getting into it, my partner included, but I am not really sure they are for me. It was still a good time and I didn't absolutely hate it, so I was still having fun. Probably the only time I didn't really have fun is when my partner went to get another drink and I was by myself in a sea of people, without her for support. It definitely made me appreciate her even more when she was by my side.
Of course, the night went on and we eventually got to the countdown to the New Year. We hit 0 and I gave my sweetie a kiss, as everyone else was doing the same with their partners. And I would say this is probably the moment where I felt the most at ease in this crowd of strangers. It was pretty magical overall 🙂
We stayed maybe another hour to dance a little more, before heading home and getting some Taco Bell (another public interaction for Natalie, which is always nice). The lines for a lot of fast food places were very long. To be expected really, as a lot of drunk people (with their drivers) wanted some food after the night's festivities.
This was my very first New Year's Eve party. Not just as Natalie, but the first one I've ever been to. And I had a lot of fun 🙂 I think I am still quite a reserved person, so finding something more low-key for next year is probably to be preferred. But, at the end of the day (night), I am happy to have gone out as Natalie, and happy to have gone out with my fiancée.
I think I learned a lot that night as well. No one really cares who you are or what you are doing, as long as it isn't disruptive. Everyone is trying to live their own lives and, for the most part, they are just fine with others living theirs. I learned I should, and I do want to, be more sociable as Natalie - as I shouldn't have to hide in the shadows to enjoy myself. Most of all, this entire event just reiterated my appreciation and adoration for my partner, their willingness to let me express this side of me, and the support they provide. I know this last part is by no means universal among everyone in this community, which just reinforces how lucky I am.
For this new year, I am looking forward to more time as Natalie and more discovery for myself. I hope the rest of you girls all get to do the same 🙂
Every time we step out our front (or back) door, Natalie, it is a new adventure.
Cute, being asked for ID. 😁I presented my (male) ID.
I think they asked everyone for ID so I wouldn't read too much into it 😂 But I am certainly going to revel in that as it isn't going to be too long before they stop asking entirely 🙂
Nice adventure Natalie, and with the best of company you can have. Now that you have gained great confidence, you will be able to better enjoy more opportunities to express your feminine side. Thanks for sharing this great story.
I am hoping the same thing. As more opportunities come up, and are taken, it becomes easier to go out as Natalie and enjoy life.
See? You learned your lesson! 😍 Now get out there and just be! 🤩 (And you look great, BTW...you've nothing to worry about!)
Thanks. It is something I, and maybe others, can probably look at and realize that most people are fine with us just being ourselves.
@nataliecd Good for you. Each of those mini-experiences are going to help you lay the foundation you need to become more comfortable as Natalie, which you deserve, so keep at it, girl! 😉
I agree and I think it is getting to the point already where Natalie is becoming more and more prevalent.
Sounds like you had a wonderful evening and are very fortunate to have the wonderful partner you do! You look fabulous! I hope you have a wonderful year on your journey!
Thank you for the kind words and I definitely don't take my partner for granted!
That was such a nice account of what was a wonderful night for you and your very accepting partner. You looked lovely so it all went smoothly for you and sure your confidence was boosted a lot so more outings will no doubt follow. Was going out more a New Year resolution?
I did a similar thing this new years eve too which was a first for me. A colleague and I were chatting and it seemed we were at loose ends and wondered what to do. She and I said good bye to sixty a few years back so where to go, I found a couple of places left at a formal dinner dance and booked them. I am very much out being full time but, like you had those apprehensions you have. We had a shared table with strangers but they were lovely. The age group was 40+ so the music was right. We had a lovely evening dancing the night away and would do it again.
Once you settle in the confidence grows and everything flows.
It wasn't really a New Year's Resolution at the time but having the success I did sort of led me to wanting to go out more as Natalie.
It sounds like you had a wonderful evening as well. And I agree that confidence is really the difference maker in so many things. Thank you for your kind words and your recount of your experience.
You are so very lucky to have her for a partner. She sounds like a nice lady.
Thank you for your article Natalie. I enjoyed reading it very much, truly a night to remember 💕
good for you to get out, specially with your GF. Glad you have a supportive partner! we should do lunch sometime
Thank you for the kind words and I agree that having her makes things that much better!
Really glad that you had such a great time Natalie ☺️
Very best wishes.
Great story. Gala to hear you had a great time. Are you gonna do it again nat? I was personally hooked after going out for the first time.
I am planning on going out a lot this year. I went out for Valentine's yesterday and I am currently writing up my recap of the day. Hopefully, there will be even more outing this year 🙂
Great account. I do find when out cross-dressed that sometimes the events or occasions I go to can be disappointing or strange, but it is still an experience 'as a girl' who herself would have to cope with such reactions and thoughts. So take it all together as one big experience out there in the world.
I agree with this entirely. Not everything is sunshine and roses for anyone. We already have to deal with potential disappointment no matter how we are dressed. So we should really focus on the positives as much as we can 🙂
I love your story. You are lucky to have a supportive partner. We were traveling so I missed New Year's Eve in Saint Paul.
@signoraaria Well, there is always next year. Have you ever gone out as Aria for New Year's? Anywhere in particular you found enjoyable if so? Any recommendations for just going out on a normal day around the Cities?
@nataliecd Hi Natalie. I'm in stealth mode in Twin Cities. My wife knows and is supportive but her boundary is not to see me as Aria. And my employer is conservative. I'm looking forward to getting out first time at upcoming Halfway to Halloween costume ball in Las Vegas.
@signoraaria That sounds like a lot of fun. Its too bad you can't/won't go out around here but it is obviously understandable with your situation. My first time out was away from home as well.
Good luck on the costume ball!
Thanks for understanding. Can't / won't is a good way to put it. Thinking more about it, I feel like i can't go out day to day. However, a local costume ball or some other anonymous event could be done. As you say, there will be another New Year's Eve : )
