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With 2024 just beginning, I thought this would be a good time to write a short article. As you know from my profile, I am a long-time crossdresser, and have recently really ramped up my dressing. I have fantasized about living full time and changing my gender. But with a family, work and all my male friendships, this has just not been possible. But this past year something changed for me: turning 60 was one of them (shhhh! that's supposed to be a secret, just like my weight LoL!) Another was my younger daughter finishing grad school and the older one becoming very successful in her career. With retirement now coming into view, I have given a lot of thought about what I would like my last few decades on this earth to look like, to feel like and cross dressing is definitely going to be a part of that.
With all the being said, in September of this year (right after my 60th birthday, I am a Virgo by the way), I decided to go on a testosterone blocker and it did something amazing. It really helped calm me down and changed my outlook to be more compassionate and patient. It also helped me to reserve a little corner of life for myself to compensate for putting up with a lot of #!@%&#! and stress in my daily life. I would like to continue my hormone therapy for at least one more year, and if it works for me, I have resolved to join Folx or see an endocrinologist about adding low-dose estrogen or progesterone. I don't plan to transition fully or anything like that, but want to further the feeling of being a woman and maybe develop small breasts if it isn't too late in my life to try to "grow a pair" .
This resolution doesn't come easily. I have lived as a guy for 60 years, raised a family, had a fairly successful career as an engineer in the aerospace industry, made it as far as middle management, and enough success to retire in another few years (hopefully). It's during retirement that I hope to have more opportunities to dress, go out en femme and meet others like me in person (one of the main reasons I joined CDH!) My only worry is how my family might react if I were to ever really come out to them. My wife knows that I have cross-dressed in the past. She discovered my things many years back, and flipped out. We went to marriage counseling, and I also went to personal therapy sessions which obviously didn't "cure" my cross dressing habits. In fact, it reminded me that I am my own person. I have never been unfaithful to my wife (no sex with anyone else, either in male or female mode). I have met other crossdressers and exchanged air kisses, that's about it. I do not really fantasize about having any sort of sexual relations with others... I just want to express myself and have adult, supportive conversations with other girls like me. Is this OK? Sometimes I still have feelings of shame, or embarrassment, that something is "wrong" with me, but since I have gone on the androgen blockers, these feelings have subsided.
Another huge factor recently was the support I got when I went to Dafni Girls in Madrid for my first-ever makeover and photo shoot.... the results were amazing, stunning to me even, and once I saw that indeed I could express my feminine side this way, I joined CDH and obviously many of you have seen the results in my photos. CDH has also been a blessing to me, with all the supportive comments from so many of you... thank you!
So finally, to wrap up, here are my resolutions for 2024:
1. Be nice to the people in my life, especially my family, and take care of my aging mom, who is now 93!
2. Go out to an event en femme (concert, opera etc). I've only done it twice, once in the 90's and once last October, which I really enjoyed and boosted my confidence.
3. Attend a CDH group event.... perhaps something through SF Bay Area Girls or River City Gems (thanks Paulette for the tip!). Maybe a trip to the East Coast to meet some of the girls out in the mid-Atlantic region.
4. Start estrogen or other female hormone therapy sometime before the end of 2024. This is the biggie!
5. Keep posting pictures on CDH!
I'd love to hear from you about these and what you think! How has your experience been, coming out to family (or not), deciding to try hormone therapy (or not) ??
Your sister, Sheila
Well Sheila you are one of many older girls who have had thoughts of dressing throughout life and have had to subdue them as coming out as a youth was a definite no go. Then life, commitments and responsibilities bury it deep.Then as you get older everything is under control and opportunities open up as you find 'me' time. retirement beckons and the door can start to open wider. Of course there are still obstacles but in those years preceeding retirement you can start to plan and prepare. Oh there are obstacles but if you approach each one in a planned way nothing is really off the table. There is a quite sensible view that you must be considerate to others, especially your partner but there comes a time that this is actually for yourself and your happiness, is it not unreasonable to expect some consideration your way for all the commitment you have given to others over the decades, sacrificing your true self to them?
You haven't said if your partner is aware of the blockers or trips away but would seem she has an idea. I started my planning in the years before retirement and the day I retired everything was placed for Angela to fully enter the world with everyone aware and with there blessings.
Hi Sheila,
Thanks for posting your inspiring article. Like most (if not just about all) crossdressers we have had many resolutions about dressing..me mostly its to "dress more often". I am on the "bridge to retirement" after being a legal eagle for my 34 year career (I am 64 now). I have grown children, and an aging mother just like you. I have never thought of transitioning, but like you, I would love to "grow a pair" even if they were tiny. All the best for you in 2024!
Thank you Sheila for sharing your resolutions for 2024.. you are an inspiration for girls just about to open the door from the “closet” (including me).. yes at 70+ and retired has its advantages to expressing my feminine side more often… Sheila, please keep us posted as meet your 2024 resolutions..
Warmest regards, Leonara
Sheila, please understand and accept that there is nothing wrong with you. Toss those feelings of shame and embarrassment out and don't ever let them back in. I also came out late in life after retirement but after my wife passed away so I didn't have the family issues to face as you will. I now live full time and can tell you that there is a wonderful life awaiting you as a trans woman if you choose to go that route. I wish you all the best.
My history is nearly identical to yours, and it was at age 60 that I first realized I was a crossdresser and there were others in the world like me. I plunged into the pool, meeting a lady in a dressing service and getting dressed and going into public for the first time, to meet a group of other crossdressers. I could never look back. Having the same desires as you, I visited an endicrinologist, who recommended estrogen and testosterone blockers. I wasn't ready to lose male function and knew I did not want to transition, but HAVE continued to see her, as it gives me a chance to dress while receiving support, and she was able to address my osteoporosis issues ( a common problem for crossdressers and those in the TG community generally). I have since enjoyed going just about everywhere en femme, and it has been extremely gratifying to express my femme side. It has opened a new world for me in terms of accepting friends and purpose (education and support of others while learning about and being my authentic self). Unfortunately, my wife could not accept. I could not change or meet her deepest needs, so lost my marriage. Sacrifice is often involved in life in order to meet one's goals, including most particularly being who you truly are and retaining your most treasured relationships. Those sacrifices must be weighed carefully, as we can't always have everything we treasure. I wish for you the best as you pursue the goals that mean most to you.
Sheila, this is a beautifully written article. I would love to at least dress more often but with non-supportive people at home this is tricky. I do share some of your resolutions in that I want to go out en femme, attend a group event, and have a makeover and start posting photos. I guess only time will tell if I can do some of these things this year. It's only January and I was able to accomplish more in 2023 than I had anticipated.
I've at least resolved to let Sophie out and express herself more often and with some luck opportunities for some of the things mentioned above will come.
I thought your article was extremely well written also and loved reading it. The best article make you think and are relatable which yours did. I share many of your resolutions. Love the first…it should be everyone’s priority! Continuing to go out on a regular basis is what I want plus electrolysis. I would love to take a blocker but I think I need a prescription…how did you get yours? One thing I would suggest is attending Keystone in March if you want to meet CDH girls…I bet there will be 50 !
Thanks for sharing!❤️
Sheila -
Thank you for a lovely article. It is nice to see that you have thought about your journey so thoroughly. I wish you luck with it. I am able to dress more now than I was when I first came out to my wife but would like to do more. My hope is that with time that will happen. I am also a late bloomer and my wife is accepting to a point but does not embrace my dressing.
XOXO
Suzanne
Thank you for sharing Sheila. Yours is a very inspiring article. Although I am not able to pursue this to the same degree, you have prompted me to think hard about setting goals which will lead me to experiencing and enjoying more - at least in the areas I can.
Thanks again,
Denise
😊
Hi Sheila! I loved your article, it resonated so much with where I am. I recently came out as trans and started both the T blocker and Estradiol patch. I’m enjoying being out and about en femme, going to a “gay” club, and generally enjoying being my true self. I’ve even started performing in drag! What fun!!
Be as up front with your SO as you can be when you can. Explain how the T blocker has had a positive impact on you, and be careful if you do get to “grow a pair”. When they start, they tend to be sore, so a padded bra may help ease that. Best of luck in all your resolutions for this year.
My sentiments exactly. Thank you for putting into words what I have also felt.
You might consider going to Keystone Conference in PA, this March.
Great article Sheila! Now we need to make Resolution Number 2 a reality by seeing you at La Bella in April! You already have an elegant formal, so you are one step ahead of me! Hugs, Paulette
Hi Sheila
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings.
I am now 59, in my second marriage, met my current wife 6 years ago and told her straight away. She was amazing and simply said so what. I can dress etc whenever I want and love being Steph so much.
Same as you and others who have replied, the older I am getting the more I want to be Steph. Several friends know along with my daughters and brother etc who again have all been amazing. Why was I worried so much in earlier years about what people would say. I honestly don’t care what people think or say know as I’m so happy when I’m Steph.
But again I have now started looking at hormones/blockers etc. I have always wanted my own breasts which I have told my wife. Not sure how she would feel or react if I said I wanted to start taking them. But it’s getting to the point, we’re not getting any younger. The other problem would be work as I work in the motor trade as a bespoke technician for a high end super car company so would be very obvious if I started to grow breasts.
Anyway, all I really wanted to say I can relate to you and others so much. It does seem to be quite common in girls like us in later life.
Take care
Love Steph c
Thank you Sheila for writing an article that resonated so strongly. I(also just turned 60) am in the same place as you. Married, children, semi successful. I have been a crossdresser since I was 13 on and off. Finally at the age of 55, I started Estradiol pills and Spironolactone(which as it turns out, I'm allergic to) so I was switched to Finasteride. My success has been very slow. Minimal breast growth. No real fat redistribution. my skin is smoother and thinner though. I wish I was able to go to a CDH event but it's not in my cards. I wish you the very best of luck and keep us updated on your progress.
Marlie