New Year's Resoluti...
 
Notifications
Clear all

Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.

Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.

New Year's Resolutions and Crossdressing

38 Posts
18 Users
47 Reactions
631 Views
Posts: 38
Duchess
Topic starter
(@sheilagirl)
Trusted Member     Oakland, California, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago
wpf-cross-image

With 2024 just beginning, I thought this would be a good time to write a short article.  As you know from my profile, I am a long-time crossdresser, and have recently really ramped up my dressing.  I have fantasized about living full time and changing my gender.  But with a family, work and all my male friendships, this has just not been possible.   But this past year something changed for me: turning 60 was one of them (shhhh! that's supposed to be a secret, just like my weight LoL!)  Another was my younger daughter finishing grad school and the older one becoming very successful in her career.   With retirement now coming into view, I have given a lot of thought about what I would like my last few decades on this earth to look like, to feel like and cross dressing is definitely going to be a part of that.

With all the being said, in September of this year (right after my 60th birthday, I am a Virgo by the way), I decided to go on a testosterone blocker and it did something amazing.    It really helped calm me down and changed my outlook to be more compassionate and patient. It also helped me to reserve a little corner of life for myself to compensate for putting up with a lot of #!@%&#! and stress in my daily life.   I would like to continue my hormone therapy for at least one more year, and if it works for me, I have resolved to join Folx or see an endocrinologist about adding low-dose estrogen or progesterone.   I don't plan to transition fully or anything like that, but want to further the feeling of being a woman and maybe develop small breasts if it isn't too late in my life to try to "grow a pair" .

This resolution doesn't come easily.  I have lived as a guy for 60 years, raised a family, had a fairly successful career as an engineer in the aerospace industry,  made it as far as middle management, and enough success to retire in another few years (hopefully).  It's during retirement that I hope to have more opportunities to dress, go out en femme and meet others like me in person (one of the main reasons I joined CDH!)  My only worry is how my family might react if I were to ever really come out to them.  My wife knows that I have cross-dressed in the past.  She discovered my things many years back, and flipped out. We went to marriage counseling, and I also went to personal therapy sessions which obviously didn't "cure" my cross dressing habits.  In fact, it reminded me that I am my own person.  I have never been unfaithful to my wife (no sex with anyone else, either in male or female mode).   I have met other crossdressers and exchanged air kisses, that's about it.  I do not really fantasize about having any sort of sexual relations with others... I just want to express myself and have adult, supportive conversations with other girls like me.   Is this OK?  Sometimes I still have feelings of shame, or embarrassment, that something is "wrong" with me, but since I have gone on the androgen blockers, these feelings have subsided.

Another huge factor recently was the support I got when I went to Dafni Girls in Madrid for my first-ever makeover and photo shoot.... the results were amazing, stunning to me even, and once I saw that indeed I could express my feminine side this way, I joined CDH and obviously many of you have seen the results in my photos.  CDH has also been a blessing to me, with all the supportive comments from so many of you... thank you!

 

So finally, to wrap up, here are my resolutions for 2024:

1.  Be nice to the people in my life, especially my family, and take care of my aging mom, who is now 93!

2. Go out to an event en femme (concert, opera etc).  I've only done it twice, once in the 90's and once last October, which I really enjoyed and boosted my confidence.

3. Attend a CDH group event.... perhaps something through SF Bay Area Girls or River City Gems (thanks Paulette for the tip!).   Maybe a trip to the East Coast to meet some of the girls out in the mid-Atlantic region.

4. Start estrogen or other female hormone therapy sometime before the end of 2024.  This is the biggie!

5. Keep posting pictures on CDH!

 

I'd love to hear from you about these and what you think!  How has your experience been, coming out to family (or not), deciding to try hormone therapy (or not) ??

Your sister, Sheila

Reply
37 Replies
4 Replies
(@dovemtn2016)
Joined: 1 year ago

Honorable Member     Tucson, Arizona, United States of America
Posts: 313

@sheilagirl 

Sounds great Sheila.

Reply
Duchess
(@sheilagirl)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oakland, California, United States of America
Posts: 38

❤️❤️ Thanks Christine!

Reply
(@hvdt)
Joined: 7 years ago

Estimable Member     Groningen, Groningen, Netherlands
Posts: 163

@sheilagirl hi I’m 60 and have been out for a couple of years now. I have no urge to use hormones or grow a pair but wont your wife notice your hormone usage? Lower sex drive, and eventually the breasts? There is a point where we need to be honest, I had a couple of heart attacks, I realised that I wasn’t immortal and that the years I had left needed to be cherished and used to fullfill my wishes. I live my life how I feel, in the moment. I get out of bed and feel like putting on my makeup dress and heels I do, maybe a couple of hours later I’m dressed as Phil. At all times  am ‘being’. I am work voluntary as a Dutch language teacher, I teach adults, they never know how I will present in class, I do make more effort to be feminine even as a man but it is my prerogative to decide. 

Reply
Duchess
(@sheilagirl)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oakland, California, United States of America
Posts: 38

Thank you Helene for sharing your perspective and also your comments. I’m glad you survived your heart attacks and can experience life and all it has to offer, both to Phil in guy mode and to you Helene! I expect there will be a day of reckoning but as I said I’m actually a bit more energized and sensitive now, which actually has spiced things up in bed a bit with my spouse. So far so good but who knows what the remainder of the year will bring. So like you, I’m trying to stay in the moment, enjoy my family and also my feminine side whenever possible!

Reply
Posts: 3436
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Well Sheila you are one of many older girls who have had thoughts of dressing throughout life and have had to subdue them as coming out as a youth was a definite no go. Then life, commitments and responsibilities bury it deep.Then as you get older everything is under control and opportunities open up as you find 'me' time. retirement beckons and the door can start to open wider. Of course there are still obstacles but in those years preceeding retirement you can start to plan and prepare. Oh there are obstacles but if you approach each one in a planned way nothing is really off the table. There is a quite sensible view that you must be considerate to others, especially your partner but there comes a time that this is actually for yourself and your happiness, is it not unreasonable to expect some consideration your way for all the commitment you have given to others over the decades, sacrificing your true self to them?

You haven't said if your partner is aware of the blockers or trips away but would seem she has an idea. I started my planning in the years before retirement and the day I retired everything was placed for Angela to fully enter the world with everyone aware and with there blessings.

Reply
1 Reply
Duchess
(@sheilagirl)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oakland, California, United States of America
Posts: 38

Thank you Angela for your kind and encouraging words. I still have a long way to go before I reopen the crossdressing conversation with my spouse, let alone bring up the hormone therapy, but in due time I most certainly will spill the beans. Hugs, Sheila

Reply
Posts: 65
Lady
(@rikkicd)
Trusted Member     Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada
Joined: 6 years ago

Hi Sheila,

Thanks for posting your inspiring article. Like most (if not just about all) crossdressers we have had many resolutions about dressing..me mostly its to "dress more often". I am on the "bridge to retirement" after being a legal eagle for my 34 year career (I am 64 now). I have grown children, and an aging mother just like you. I have never thought of transitioning, but like you, I would love to "grow a pair" even if they were tiny. All the best for you in 2024!

Reply
1 Reply
Duchess
(@sheilagirl)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oakland, California, United States of America
Posts: 38

You’re certainly welcome Rikki, and congrats on such a long and successful career! Wishing you well for this new year! 😍 Sheila

Reply
Posts: 1293
Ambassador
(@leonara)
Noble Member     Long Island,, New York, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

Thank you Sheila for sharing your resolutions for 2024.. you are an inspiration for girls just about to open the door from the “closet” (including me).. yes at 70+ and retired has its advantages to expressing my feminine side more often… Sheila, please keep us posted as meet your 2024 resolutions..
Warmest regards, Leonara

Reply
1 Reply
Duchess
(@sheilagirl)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oakland, California, United States of America
Posts: 38

You bet Leonara! It was fun to write this article, and contribute something besides pretty pictures to this wonderful community. I will try to post an update later this spring and again in the fall. My crossdressing usually goes on hiatus in the hotter summer months but perhaps this year will be different!

Reply
Posts: 1796
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Famed Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Sheila, please understand and accept that there is nothing wrong with you. Toss those feelings of shame and embarrassment out and don't ever let them back in. I also came out late in life after retirement but after my wife passed away so I didn't have the family issues to face as you will. I now live full time and can tell you that there is a wonderful life awaiting you as a trans woman if you choose to go that route. I wish you all the best.

Reply
1 Reply
Duchess
(@sheilagirl)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oakland, California, United States of America
Posts: 38

Wow Fiona, that’s amazing and I am so happy for you now, although I’m also sad your wife passed on before you could share your feminine side with her. Thank you for your positivity and support, it means a lot! Hugs, Sheila

Reply
Posts: 631
Lady
(@rhondalee)
Prominent Member     Winston-Salem, North Carolina, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

My history is nearly identical to yours, and it was at age 60 that I first realized I was a crossdresser and there were others in the world like me. I plunged into the pool, meeting a lady in a dressing service and getting dressed and going into public for the first time, to meet a group of other crossdressers. I could never look back. Having the same desires as you, I visited an endicrinologist, who recommended estrogen and testosterone blockers. I wasn't ready to lose male function and knew I did not want to transition, but HAVE continued to see her, as it gives me a chance to dress while receiving support, and she was able to address my osteoporosis issues ( a common problem for crossdressers and those in the TG community generally). I have since enjoyed going just about everywhere en femme, and it has been extremely gratifying to express my femme side. It has opened a new world for me in terms of accepting friends and purpose (education and support of others while learning about and being my authentic self). Unfortunately, my wife could not accept. I could not change or meet her deepest needs, so lost my marriage. Sacrifice is often involved in life in order to meet one's goals, including most particularly being who you truly are and retaining your most treasured relationships.  Those sacrifices must be weighed carefully, as we can't always have everything we treasure. I wish for you the best as you pursue the goals that mean most to you.

Reply
5 Replies
Duchess
(@sheilagirl)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oakland, California, United States of America
Posts: 38

Rhonda, what a heartfelt response, thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry you lost your wife though but sometimes it’s better for both souls in the end, no regrets. I do not know what will happen to my situation, I can only hope for a little more understanding when I finally open up this side to her again. Hugs, Sheila 🌹

Reply
Lady
(@rhondalee)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     Winston-Salem, North Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 631

I will hope the same for you, believe me! It pains me to see the sad results of a couple who fail to appreciate what the other is going through.
If you wish I could send you an audio of an interview I gave on Story Corps (NPR) which was aired many times. They had previously interviewed transgender individuals, but never before a crossdresser. The questions asked of me were penetrating, causing me to think through many key issues. I have shared it with couples who struggle with some of those and been told that it has helped them. It puts a positive spin on crossdressing, because that is what I experienced. I broke down at one point in the interview when reflecting on the wives and CDs I met. I did not anticipate meeting wives who loved and supported their husbands more than their desire to have a more "typical" man, and husbands who spoke so glowingly and lovingly of their wives... clearly conveying that the relationship was more important than their interests in pursuing "manly" activities like sports, motorbikes, and guns, although it is surprising how involved crossdressers tend to be in such activities, often mixing the two, such as going to a shooting range while dressed. It IS possible to enjoy both worlds without sacrificing one for the other! And from what I have observed, crossdressers tend to enjoy longer marriages than is typical of the general population. The ability to find acceptable boundaries and make sacrifices is key to most successful marriages.
One question asked of me was whether I'd take a pill if one existed for a "cure". Most wives, however accepting, would want their husband to take one! The trick is to find an alternative solution and accept that in most situations neither party has the ability to have everything they desire of an "ideal" world, because we don't live in such a place.

Reply
Duchess
(@sheilagirl)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oakland, California, United States of America
Posts: 38

Dear Rhonda, Yes, please send me a link to your NPR interview recording: I’d like to hear it. If it’s easier, please email the file or Dropbox link at sheila8315@gmail.com

Reply
Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4015

@sheilagirl I went to NPR Story Corps and did a search for "crossdress". No results were returned.

Reply
Lady
(@rhondalee)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     Winston-Salem, North Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 631

That is interesting. They told me the interview was archived in the Library of Congress. I will try to forward an audio transcript by email. It is in 2 pieces... about 50 minutes long altogether.

Reply
Posts: 162
Duchess
(@sophie85)
Estimable Member     New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Sheila, this is a beautifully written article. I would love to at least dress more often but with non-supportive people at home this is tricky. I do share some of your resolutions in that I want to go out en femme, attend a group event, and have a makeover and start posting photos. I guess only time will tell if I can do some of these things this year. It's only January and I was able to accomplish more in 2023 than I had anticipated.

I've at least resolved to let Sophie out and express herself more often and with some luck opportunities for some of the things mentioned above will come.

Reply
3 Replies
Duchess
(@sheilagirl)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oakland, California, United States of America
Posts: 38

Dear Sophia, well good for you that you've come this far! Keep that resolution in front of you, and I’m sure good things will happen… Start with a professional makeover and just let things flow from there!

Hugs, Sheila ❤️

Reply
Duchess
(@sophie85)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     New Jersey, United States of America
Posts: 162

@sheilagirl thank you for the encouragement!  I'm trying to arrange a professional makeover and with it a night out but I have to be certain that I'll be able to live fully as Sophie for at least 24/48 hours.  We'll see if I can get such an opportunity.  I already have a couple outfits picked out if I get the chance to go public with Sophie.

Reply
Duchess
(@sheilagirl)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oakland, California, United States of America
Posts: 38

@sophie85 ok good luck my dear! Let me know when you have something scheduled and I’ll give you a pep talk to make sure you go through with it!

Reply
Posts: 353
Duchess
(@carolcorbett)
Reputable Member     WNY, New York, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

I thought your article was extremely well written also and loved reading it.  The best article make you think and are relatable which yours did.  I share many of your resolutions. Love the first…it should be everyone’s priority!  Continuing to go out on a regular basis is what I want plus electrolysis.  I would love to take a blocker but I think I need a prescription…how did you get yours?  One thing I would suggest is attending Keystone in March if you want to meet CDH girls…I bet there will be 50 !  

Thanks for sharing!❤️

Reply
1 Reply
Duchess
(@sheilagirl)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oakland, California, United States of America
Posts: 38

Thank you Carole! I’m glad you liked my first article on CDH, I hope to write more in the coming year. Regarding my blocker ( I’m on spironolactone ) , well I got it through the back door: it was actually a prescription someone else in my family has for bad acne, and it has since resolved so I usurped that prescription and have renewed it a couple of times.

I did research the typical dosage on the Folx website (25 mg twice daily) and have stuck with it for the last several months. The prescription runs out of refills soon though, so I’ve actually already signed up with Folx to get a proper prescription of my own. They are going to run some labs first to make sure I’m not over or underdosing myself though. I would urge you to try Folx, www.Folxhealth.com - safer and more convenient though it does run $40/ month for the membership and $159 for the initial consult. It’s all by phone though, so very convenient !

Hugs, Sheila❤️

Reply
Posts: 2108
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Sheila -

Thank you for a lovely article. It is nice to see that you have thought about your journey so thoroughly. I wish you luck with it. I am able to dress more now than I was when I first came out to my wife but would like to do more. My hope is that with time that will happen. I am also a late bloomer and my wife is accepting to a point but does not embrace my dressing. 

XOXO
Suzanne

Reply
1 Reply
Duchess
(@sheilagirl)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oakland, California, United States of America
Posts: 38

@cdsue you’re most welcome Suzanne, I’m glad you enjoyed my first article here. You’re very fortunate that your wife is accepting, at ,east to some degree- mine is not there yet but I will eventually have to bring Sheila back out with her. Hugs, Sheila

Reply
Posts: 210
Lady
(@denises924)
Reputable Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

Thank you for sharing Sheila. Yours is a very inspiring article. Although I am not able to pursue this to the same degree, you have prompted me to think hard about setting goals which will lead me to experiencing and enjoying more - at least in the areas I can.

Thanks again,
Denise
😊

Reply
1 Reply
Duchess
(@sheilagirl)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oakland, California, United States of America
Posts: 38

@denises924 Thank you Denise, I’m glad you liked it and found it inspiring. Good luck with your goals and I hope all your dreams come true!

Hugs, Sheila

Reply
Posts: 58
(@raginamarie)
Trusted Member     Augusta, Georgia, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi Sheila! I loved your article, it resonated so much with where I am. I recently came out as trans and started both the T blocker and Estradiol patch. I’m enjoying being out and about en femme, going to a “gay” club, and generally enjoying being my true self. I’ve even started performing in drag! What fun!!
Be as up front with your SO as you can be when you can. Explain how the T blocker has had a positive impact on you, and be careful if you do get to “grow a pair”. When they start, they tend to be sore, so a padded bra may help ease that. Best of luck in all your resolutions for this year.

Reply
1 Reply
Duchess
(@sheilagirl)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oakland, California, United States of America
Posts: 38

Thank you Regina for sharing your story a bit, I’m glad you enjoyed my first little article! Thanks also for the tip about wearing a padded bra, I have to share a funny story: about a month ago I was reaching into the washing machine to retrieve the laundry- when I leaned in and put my upper body and chest into the edge of the tub, I suddenly felt a pretty sharp pain in me left pectoral muscle, and then when I touched my chest in that spot, I realized there was more fleshy tissue and directly underneath my nipple some firmer tissue that had never been there before. It was quite a rush, even though I was in some pain. I’ve been a lot more careful ever since!

In terms of being trans, I think I’m somewhere left of center with full transition being all the way left and staying completely male 100% of the time on the far right. Definitely I would like to have the best of both worlds but be a bit more female than a typical garden variety crossdresser (if there even is such a person!) … at least in terms of how I feel inside and sometimes present on the outside. But I don’t envision going full time at this point in my life although looking back I often wonder how my life would have turned out had I transitioned 20 or 30 years ago. Maybe that’s a topic for another article! I wish you all the best in your transition and hope we stay in touch.

Hugs, Sheila

Reply
Posts: 1062
Duchess Annual
(@robertaf)
Noble Member     Louisiana, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

My sentiments exactly. Thank you for putting into words what I have also felt.

You might consider going to Keystone Conference in PA, this March.

Reply
2 Replies
Duchess
(@sheilagirl)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oakland, California, United States of America
Posts: 38

Thanks Roberta, I’m happy you liked my article ! And yes I’ve been made aware of the Keystone conference, I think I’d like to go in another year or two. It would be a big trip across the country and right now I’m trying to stay close to my aging mom out here in Northern California. Hugs, Sheila

Reply
Duchess Annual
(@robertaf)
Joined: 5 years ago

Noble Member     Louisiana, United States of America
Posts: 1062

I’ll look forward to seeing you then.

Reply
Posts: 868
Duchess
(@sometimespaulette)
Prominent Member     Gilbert, Arizona, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

Great article Sheila! Now we need to make Resolution Number 2 a reality by seeing you at La Bella in April! You already have an elegant formal, so you are one step ahead of me! Hugs, Paulette

Reply
1 Reply
Duchess
(@sheilagirl)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oakland, California, United States of America
Posts: 38

❤️ Thanks Paulette!

Reply
Posts: 6
(@stephcd45)
Active Member     Farnham, Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi Sheila
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings.
I am now 59, in my second marriage, met my current wife 6 years ago and told her straight away. She was amazing and simply said so what. I can dress etc whenever I want and love being Steph so much.
Same as you and others who have replied, the older I am getting the more I want to be Steph. Several friends know along with my daughters and brother etc who again have all been amazing. Why was I worried so much in earlier years about what people would say. I honestly don’t care what people think or say know as I’m so happy when I’m Steph.
But again I have now started looking at hormones/blockers etc. I have always wanted my own breasts which I have told my wife. Not sure how she would feel or react if I said I wanted to start taking them. But it’s getting to the point, we’re not getting any younger. The other problem would be work as I work in the motor trade as a bespoke technician for a high end super car company so would be very obvious if I started to grow breasts.
Anyway, all I really wanted to say I can relate to you and others so much. It does seem to be quite common in girls like us in later life.
Take care
Love Steph c

Reply
Posts: 61
Lady
(@plussizedmarlie)
Trusted Member     Liverpool, New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Thank you Sheila for writing an article that resonated so strongly. I(also just turned 60) am in the same place as you. Married, children, semi successful. I have been a crossdresser since I was 13 on and off. Finally at the age of 55, I started Estradiol pills and Spironolactone(which as it turns out, I'm allergic to) so I was switched to Finasteride. My success has been very slow. Minimal breast growth. No real fat redistribution. my skin is smoother and thinner though. I wish I was able to go to a CDH event but it's not in my cards. I wish you the very best of luck and keep us updated on your progress.
Marlie

Reply

©[current-year] Crossdresser Heaven | Privacy Terms of Use | Link to usContact Vanessa | Advertise with Crossdresser Heaven

 
[kleo_social_icons]
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!