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Yesterday, I bought myself a pair of ladies jeans in a gorgeous teal/green colour. "Fantastic," you may say—perhaps not without a hint of sarcasm—but I bought them en homme, in Bon Marche, a women's clothing shop for those who might not know of it. This is the first time I've bought Allie stuff in such a place as previously it's been charity (thrift) shops or online.
My wife and I decided to go for a drive up to Perth. It's a lovely city and only around 45 minutes from home, so we go a few times a year, usually for a walk in the countryside before going back into town for a coffee and some shopping.
Once we'd had said coffee, we had a look around a few of the shops, both charity and regular retailers; my wife was looking for a new blouse and a pair of winter shoes and one of the shops we visited was the aforementioned Bon Marche. She did indeed find a couple of blouses she liked, so told me to wait while she tried them on in the fitting room. I had already seen the jeans and checked that they had my size, so I asked her if she thought they'd let me try them on, to which she gave her usual reply, "Why not?"
As she takes her blouses to the fitting rooms, one of the ladies behind the counter—they were more mature ladies, two of them plus a younger girl—looks at me and tells me there's a chair just inside the entrance to the fitting area. "No thanks." I said, "Actually, there's a pair of jeans, in a lovely colour, that I've seen. Would it be possible to try them on?" I could feel some heat in my face by now but I wasn't hyperventilating, so all good so far. "Of course, can you show me the jeans?"
We went to the rail, I took out the pair in my size and she looked at my height then told me I could get a longer leg size online, at this point I held them up against me to show her the size. "Ok, just take them into the fitting room then."
I took them into the fitting 'room', merely a cubicle with a curtain that was three inches too short to ensure privacy, but hey, when in a ladies clothes shop... Jeans tried on and they fit fine, back out to the till and paid for my purchase. Not an eye batted nor even a hint of a sharp intake of breath.
When we got back to the car, I recalled that in addition to my silver bracelet and ring, both with turquoise coloured stones, I had a very high gloss, clear-with-a-hint-of-pink nail varnish, on my fingernails. OK, that went well and the world didn't stop, so the next time I find myself admiring a dress in a shop, I may well feel emboldened enough to ask to try it on. A few short months ago, I would have laughed hysterically, and for just that bit too long, at the mere suggestion of doing this.
Big thanks to my friends here who have rekindled my enjoyment of 'reckless behaviour'.
Allie x
I love this Allie, and it's definitely progress!
I’ve tried on some ladies jeans and a skirt in my local branch of Next, but it’s a small shop and has unisex changing rooms and nobody checking you in, so not as daunting x
Thanks, Lucy, I never knew that about Next, I'll have to go look 😊 x
I backed out when I was in a large Next store though, as they had separate mens and womens changing rooms, and someone on the door
@alexina Great fun! My experience of shopping for feminine clothing has always been positive, will you try the dress on next time?
Hugs,
Anna x
Thanks, Anna. Well, if I see a dress or skirt that I like, then I'll say yes, that's my intention but I reserve the right to chicken out if I suddenly feel faint 😂😂.
Allie xx
@alexina How wonderful, an impromptu private mini-dressing session, when out in public! I never had the pleasure of trying clothes on in a shop until I was already out en femme. I think you should definitely continue to nurture and encourage your reckless side Allie 🙂
Oh, my reckless side needs no nurturing, Fluff, it's been my constant companion for longer than I can remember.
Allie x
@alexina Allie, that's a great story! And that's also how you grow while being yourself. It can be scary but at the same time feel wonderful, to be taking another step forward to overcome a fear or roadblock to making progress in your journey. It seems we all have fears of doing things for the first time, in many aspects of life. But yet if we don't make the effort to get around these fears or obstacles, we don't grow or make progress. And when you make the effort to work through it and get to the other side of it, many times you see that it wasn't anywhere near as bad as it was thought to be! And you're happy you finally made it and you want to do more! Going to the next step can then be easier. And sometimes you ask yourself, why didn't I do this before now?
This is definitely progress for you and I'm happy you have made another step forward. Thank you for sharing!
@alexina love this Allie.
I had a really positive experience at Ann Summers recently. I was very nervous but when I explained to the assistant that I was shopping for myself she couldn’t have been more helpful. Great advice and support including guidance on correct sizing and fitting x
Aw, thanks, Jenny, I'm glad you had such a good experience too. Yet more evidence that only ourselves hold us back.
Allie x
OK, that went well and the world didn't stop, so the next time I find myself admiring a dress in a shop, I may well feel emboldened enough to ask to try it on.
Of course!
A CD can buy anything she wants anywhere, at any time. No need to blush, either.
However, there is a way to judge whether something might fit you or not without using a change room. The simplest is to just hold the item in against your body. Is it close or ridiculous. If close, go further.
My preferred, more accurate, method is to use a cloth measuring tape and my detailed notes (I can remember some of them without looking now).
For example, a non-stretch waistband of 17" fits me perfectly. If smaller, then I have to investigate further. If it is bigger than 18", then I move on. The same goes for shoulder widths and sleeve or body lengths of tops. If not equal to my notes, I move on. No amount of wishing will make something too small fit.
I can't remember the last time that I used a change room.
Dresses have their own issues, though, such as sleeves that are so narrow that your arms will rip the sleeves off, or narrow waists that won't pass over our barrel shaped chests. Make good notes of what works and what can't work.
During my latest shopping trip, I whipped out my measuring tape when a clerk asked if she could help me. I just said that I was only checking to see if the item would fit (I didn't say who it was to fit). It wouldn't, so I didn't waste her time or mine. No other questions were necessary.
For anyone who is self-conscious about buying their own clothes, learn to use a measuring tape.
Thanks, Harriette, that's great advice. My confidence is certainly increasing, I was looking at nail varnish a couple of days ago and they all had gel in the name. I was approached by a sales assistant and asked if I needed any help. Before now I would have blushed and muttered something about my wife but I just said that I was looking for a non gel type as I found the gel a nightmare to get off. No blushing, no rapid heartbeat and I got a nice varnish.
Allie x
Thanks, Cynthia, as I say, my confidence is increasing daily 😊. You'll find it happening too, the more time you spend here!
Allie x
Lovely story Allie. It's progress! And you have more to come! xx.
As long as we are not being inappropriate I see no reason why we can’t use a dressing room.I have used them at Torrid and Lane Bryant many times and zero issues.The ladies that work there have actually asked if I wanted to try things on and have asked they’re opinions on clothing.
Thanks, Megan, apparently the ladies in Bon Marche don't see any reason either 😊. Being on the other side of the pond, I've only heard the names of these shops but I'll be more likely to ask in the shops here after my positive experience.
Allie x
This has been my experience as well. I have yet to have a shop of any sort be an issue, be it lingerie, dresses or make up. It just is not an issue. The attitude I get is "of course you can try them on, what a silly question."
Wonderful story , Thank you for sharing
Allie, thank you for sharing a nice experience during your shopping spree.. your experience is an inspiration for girls on the fence (me included) to shop en femme.
warmest regards, Leonara
Thanks, Leonara. I'm now actually looking forward to doing more shopping for Allie. Shopping as Allie is also on the cards.
Allie x
So happy for you Allie. Myself I no longer try on clothes in male mode. BUT when I was just getting going I went to my local Torrid store for a bra fitting while in male mode. I was so anxious as I was finishing my purchase (happy to) . The fit was really not quite right, BUT the service there was so great that I ended up working at that store when I was moving to closer to full time Cassie.
For my body size I found bras at Target and Walmart better fitting.
Cassie
Thanks, Cassie, I'm not so afraid of the possible reaction now. Little by little works for me.
Allie x
A definite positive step.
In my own experience I've tried on girls clothes many times. Starting out in drab.
Last year I spotted a dress in Target. I took the only medium they had and went to the dressing room. No one was about. Tried it on and it fits perfectly. Then I noticed a sewing flaw across the right breast like it was the start of a pocket. I took it off and searched the rack for another medium. No dice! I returned to that store and checked other Targets. Again no dice!
I told a girl at Torrid that I was going to be in a womenless show for charity and I needed shoes for my big feet. She was very helpful and thought it was a neat idea.
They don't stock my size. But found some at their online store.
Fran 🥰
Torrid has Torrid bucks as a incentive for saving on purchases. Plus a lot of sales. They also offer footwear in WW extra wide so we big footed girls can have shoes that actually fit and are comfortable.
Fran 🥰
I once have the nerve to try something on a store. I tried on a pair on women's fau leather pants, no one batted an eyelash. I made up a story it was for a Halloween custom (which really became the truth cause I went in full drag to a club) But it still felt super awkward and haven't tried again. I really need to. Thanks for sharing it helps us (or at least me) hearing other people's experiences.
But it still felt super awkward and haven't tried again. I really need to.
Sometimes, the best way to know if an item really fits is to try it on. For example, a sleeve may be long enough, but it is too narrow to fit your arm.
This is when you can be creative. Start recording your ideal clothing sizes. Jeans are an easy way to start. It takes three measurements: waist, butt, and inseam length. Use one of your current pairs of jeans to get exact numbers. Make a full list of measurements and you will quickly sort out the clothes that can't fit you.
Thanks for sharing it helps us (or at least me) hearing other people's experiences.
I love hearing these stories of self-discovery. Most of us were there once.
I have had the opportunity to try on clothing while I was out as Jamie many times. I juste get treated like on of the ladies. I enjoy the feeling when I am treated as a lady and not a man in women's clothing. Anyway, I have yet to have a problem. I agree with one of the other ladies, as long and we are not doing anything inappropriate we should be fine.
Thanks, Jamie, that's good to hear. I think it's getting over the first hurdle, that takes away a lot of the fear, at least it has for me.
Allie x
Allie -
What a wonderful outing for you. Hope you have more experiences like it again soon.
I went to Torrid for the first time a month ago. The SA was really nice. She offered me a bra fitting and I took her up on it. It was nice being treated so nicely.
XOXO
Suzanne
Thanks, Suzanne, I just mentioned Torrid in another reply, I don't know if there's anything like it in the UK but now I've said that, we may find out.
Allie x
Love the successful shopping trip story! Thanks for sharing and can't wait for the dress story! 💋💋💋
How wonderful.to experience that. I found my first attempt long ago to be a VERY liberating moment. I now go shopping routinely. I also shop on line. Both seem normal to me. The first experience shopping en femme or even partially so is a remembered experience. It maybe a bit scarey for us but take comfort in the fact that the store and sales people want your money and to return many times. Its their bottom line. Your money is the same thing wether you are en femme or not. Congratulations and i wish you many more exciting and wonderful shopping trips
I went to my 1st outing in 1977 or 8. Needless to say things were different then. A couple of years later I went with a friend of mine shopping in a department store. 2 saleswomen followed us the whole time we were in the store. Once a security guard followed me and actually called the police. As I was leaving they had pulled up. The security guard had followed me outside the store.
Today the worst that has happened is getting a occasional knowing look. I love shopping and have been treated like another customer.
Such a lovely experience Alice, and I wish you many more. It must be around 30 years ago I first started occasionally trying women's clothes and shoes on in thrift stores and department stores with self service. In 2000 I bought my first couple of high heels and from there it exploded. Usually whenever I came upon a new store I looked around a little to see if they had something of interest and then approached someone from the staff asking if it was ok for me to try this or that on, and in almost every instant I was welcomed to use the ladies fitting rooms. Only once I was denied right off and twice (in the same store) I was asked to use the fitting rooms in the gent's department. Once I knew the rules, the next time around I simply picked out what I liked and went straight to a fitting room. Occasionally someone would check up on me, asking how it went, and if I was decently dressed I would step out of the cubicle give them a twirl and ask for their opinion. I have always had a good eye for what suits me or not, so many times they would be pleasantly surprised how good the clothes looked on me. Until 2014 I did all my shopping presenting male, though often wearing bra and panties together with appropriate padding, and shape wear under my clothes to ensure a correct fit if I should find anything I liked. In the fall of 2014 I did my first foray outside in full female presentation. That would soon become the norm for most of my shopping and has never been a problem anywhere. In my favourite stores the staff knows me well and greets me whenever I visit and sometimes even suggest that I check out some new arrivals fitting my style.
Ellen Marianne Tornander
in almost every instant I was welcomed to use the ladies fitting rooms.
As it should be nowadays.
I have shopped for some obviously female items, such as high heels, while in drab mode. Depending on the store, you can do this discreetly, but my go-to method of preselection, in general, is to use a measuring tape and my list of measurements. It sorts out the wheat from the chaff, but shoes you must try on then and there.
And, as I've just discovered, there's a big difference between wearing shoes for a few hours at home and actually walking any distance outside! Now I know why, all my life, I've heard women say, "Oh, I'll be glad to get home and get my heels off"
