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Shopping for clothes in person, women’s of course
If you are like me, and most other CDs I know, you love to shop for women’s clothes. Even if you don’t buy anything, simply looking at the myriad of fashions, colours, styles, it’s an exercise in eye candy whether just wandering through a mall or looking online. Of course, shopping online is so nice and easy now, except for trying to figure out the sizing, and with so much being made offshore it can be a challenge to find the right size.
Even so, isn’t it fun putting things in your shopping cart, accumulating hundreds or maybe thousands of dollars worth of beautiful and perhaps evocative clothing, only to close your computer and sigh, “Maybe someday?”
All of which makes it so much better to shop in person! Rather scary for many, and maybe frightening, too? Although I believe in most cases it needn’t be.
Like most, who’ve been buying in the last few years, I started purchasing online because it was easier, and I didn’t have to deal with a real live salesperson. Someone you are worried about might be seeing right into the heart of your crossdresser’s soul.
However, shopping in person has many advantages. You can see, touch, and feel that item of clothing you’re interested in, making sure the colour is to your liking instead of possibly being distorted by the digital system. The all-important sizing: either you can discretely hold the piece up to you, try it on if you’re brave enough, or just make sure of the return policy and take it home to try on. The latter might be important to you if you wear forms and hip/bum pads. Trying it on with everything you normally wear lets you know if the fit is just the way you desire it.
I well remember going into a local discount store with the intent of buying a couple of things for myself. I was so nervous doing this my palms were sweating, and I felt everyone was looking at me! Of course, no one was paying me any attention. In reality, I was just another shopper, and they didn’t care “why is this guy buying a women’s t-shirt?”
I eventually became quite comfortable with any store’s staff. Without exception, they were all friendly and helpful. If they figured out I was buying for myself, so what? No one really cares these days. A sale is a sale.
I did confess to the manager of one women’s clothing store I was buying these for myself and did the same thing at a lingerie store. I was getting tired of the old line about my wife’s shoulders being about the same as mine. They were both fabulous and so accepting it seemed amazing to me. The first one told me the best times to shop when the store was the quietest, and that they had a change room separate from the main group if I wanted to try something on. She also told me that their policy is one of inclusiveness, and if any of her staff were to ever give me a difficult time I should let her know.
This is an important consideration as many major stores have this kind of policy now. You can check out their policy online before stepping into the store. They see crossdressers from time to time. The sales ladies are like that seasoned traffic cop, seen it all before, no big deal.
It is so freeing to simply be honest and say this is for me! The deception can get rather tiresome after long enough, which it had for me. Recently, I was looking at a pair of wedge heels sandals that were attractive, as my old ones had just broken. The sales lady came up to me and mentioned they were now at half price! That tipped it for me, so within sight of her, I slipped my guy shoes off and tried them on. The fit and feel were good, so I bought them. I detected no hint of disapproval from her.
I became comfortable with store staff but was still uncomfortable shopping with other female customers near me. I would often go to another part of the store to avoid them, or just leave. As you might imagine, this got rather frustrating and annoying, so I just started looking at what I wanted no matter if there were other shoppers about.
My next revelation was they didn’t seem to care either! If they had any curiosity about a man shopping in a women’s only clothing shop, they certainly hid it well. So now I just simply shop, look at what I want, and don’t worry about the other women in the store. I am certainly not immune to disapproval, so I am cautious at times, although I suspect this, too will also evaporate in time.
One has to achieve a comfort level for shopping in person, and it may depend on your locale as well, but are so many areas much more accepting than ever before. I do live in a conservative part of Ontario, Canada, but I have not had any issues at all. If you are very closeted and are concerned that someone you know might catch you, then consider traveling to a different locality to shop.
How do you shop? In-person, just online, or both?
If you have shopped in person, how was your experience?
Have you told any of the sales staff in stores that you are shopping for yourself?
Have you told any of the sales staff in stores that you are shopping for yourself?
Lately, I have described some of my shopping experiences, so I won't rehash them here, except for this.
I dress androgynously with breasts forms and I ended up in a Victoria's Secret, a week ago. A young sales clerk helped me with looking for a certain sized bra and I was wearing a fairly light sweater jacket. To give her a good idea of what I wanted, I opened up the jacket, to show her my current shape.
A picture is worth a thousand words. She helped me find some possibilities, escorted me to the change room area, and let me try them on. My most expensive bra purchase ever.
There is nothing wrong with getting good advice and service.
Thank you Harriette! The staff has always been so good to me, and I have bought most of my bras from La Vie En Rose too, and well as pajamas.
@amylove2dress I didn't realize just how many pajamas show up on store racks, at this time of year, until Christmas time, last year! I was dumbfounded!
What do women sleep in when it isn't winter? 🥳 Retailers certainly have women figured out for when it is cold, that's for sure.
I began buying my own pantyhose at 13. I was never nervous about it. In fact, I was pretty excited about my new pantyhose.
When I was 17, I decided I was finally going to dress up femme and go out in public. I decided I was going to dress and look like Daisy Duke. I went out and bought a pair of platform wedge shoes, some short shorts and a couple of bras. No nervousness, just excitement over what I was going to do with them.
Then I knew I had to have a wig. I saw a perfect one in the window of a wig store. I wanted it so much but I was scared to go in and buy it. What would I tell the proprietor I wanted it for? I kept going back to the store admiring that wig and trying to get my nerve up to go in and buy it.
Finally I just decided I was going to use a story where I needed a long hair wig for a school play I was going to be in. Finally I got my nerve up as much as I could and went inside. The woman there asked if she could help me. I stammered, I want to buy the brown wig in the window. She went in the back and came back with the brown wig and a lighter one just like it. She helped me try them on. I bought both of them, but I was scared to death. Every femme thing I ever bought for myself only brought excitement, never fear like this.
I had all my femme attire. Now it was time to go out. I drove to a nearby park and changed into my femme attire. I was nervous but very excited. I got out of the car and walked around the park, being cautious to not get to close to people. Then I went for a drive to other places where I did the same thing.
I began going out often. Little by little, I got bolder and began walking close to and among people. it was scary but very thrilling. Then I began going in stores to walk around and browse women's attire. I found a special thrill in riding up escalators to show my legs in pantyhose close up. Yes I know. That was extra nutty.
Then one day I decided I was going to buy some pantyhose while dressed femme. I picked out my pantyhose and noticed I was getting some looks. That made me nervous. I was to scared to go to the register. Several visits and attempts later I was able to get the nerve to go to the register. I was sweating and trembling while waiting on the line. I bought most of my pantyhose dressed femme after that. I was always nervous and often needed several attempts to do it.
Going to buy shoes en femme, the same thing. I figured, go to the store, try on a pair. Maybe walk around a little in them, buy them and leave. When I saw people in the store, I was afraid to go in. Several more visits to the store and lots of chickening out, I went in the store right after they opened. I went right to the shoes I wanted, tried them on, took a look at them and walked to the mirrors for a better look. I noticed others had come into the store and were watching me. I felt fear rushing in. But soon after a rush of excitement and thrill followed. They want a show, Ill give them a show. I tried on several pairs of shoes, walked around in them, even solicited advice from the viewers with thumbs up and yes nods or thumbs down and no nods. That was a crazy thrill and awesome femme experience, but I had to get through a lot of fear to get it..
There was several other incidents where I wanted to do things en femme but chickened out. If I can push through that initial fear, I usually have an exciting and thrilling experience. I find it strange how I can be in guy mode, go into a store and buy pantyhose, lingerie, dresses, shoes, makeup and everything else without feeling scared or nervous. But when I try to do the same thing in femme mode, I'm very nervous and often chicken out. However if I get the nerve, the thrills and excitement that follows is so much more intense.
Also, when I was young and first began going out, I was much bolder. I wanted the thrill, rush and excitement of the femme experience by showing myself off. Now that I'm older, when and if I do go out, I'm much more cautious and I'm careful about where i go and I'm certainly nowhere near as bold.
Thank you Patty! Wow, what a story and thank you for sharing it! I was never that brave, or motivated when I was your age, not till I got much older.
I think when I was young, I was much bolder. Not sure why. Maybe it had something to do with hormones of just wanting to do it so much. seeking the femme experience was very powerful.
It is definitely the other way around for me. I'm getting to the point of not caring too much. I want you to like me, but if you don't, well that's life!
Amy
Over the years, I met other dressers who did most of their dressing and adventures when they were young. Others regret not doing it when they were young and began doing it in later years.
It seems we are similar in a lot of ways and different in other ways.
@pattyphose I had similar experiences when I was young. I would build up the nerve and just “go for it”. I lost that for a while but now I find myself back shopping and browsing en femme and loving it!
I miss having that nerve of youth, where I had so much desire to have the femme experience and enjoy the excitement, thrill and rush of it. I think, the greater the fear, the greater the thrill. I knew if I could get past the fear, I was going to have an incomparable experience.
Glad you're back to going out femme and going shopping.
I love to shop in person
I love to shop in person
I have done some in person, drab, shopping. Some lingerie when on vacation and a cute tank top this summer at the Gap. Lots of other women around but was able to block them out and peruse the racks. Two weeks ago I wanted a new dress and went looking, unfortunately I got nervous this time and left without even a fabric feel. Hoping to try again soon, maybe this weekend.
Thanks for the reply, and I hope your shopping trip this weekend works out better!
Amy
Thanks for the reply, and I hope your shopping trip this weekend works out better!
Amy
I have done some in person, drab, shopping. Some lingerie when on vacation and a cute tank top this summer at the Gap. Lots of other women around but was able to block them out and peruse the racks. Two weeks ago I wanted a new dress and went looking, unfortunately I got nervous this time and left without even a fabric feel. Hoping to try again soon, maybe this weekend.
I like to shop in person even if it’s a bit uncomfortable at times. I am figuring out my sizes, and so I am not getting things to big or small a size eight to nine seems to be best. I also found an incredible pair of heels in my size a twelve ladies and they are great. I am finding bras more difficult as I have small breast and some styles work while the more full cup and padded not as well. I really enjoy dressing part way bra and panties under my clothes and shopping it feels more real even if I still get nervous at times
Christi
Christi, that's a good way of getting more comfortable with shopping, the more you do it, the more you can relax at it. I know I've made a few poor choices because I was so nervous and didn't think it through as well as I should have!
Thank you very much.
Amy
Christi, that's a good way of getting more comfortable with shopping, the more you do it, the more you can relax at it. I know I've made a few poor choices because I was so nervous and didn't think it through as well as I should have!
Thank you very much.
Amy
Thank you
I am going out this morning hoping to find a decent bra and panties in white or black should not be to hard lol
Thank you
I am going out this morning hoping to find a decent bra and panties in white or black should not be to hard lol
I am finding bras more difficult as I have small breast and some styles work while the more full cup and padded not as well.
Yes, depending on your bra's band size, once you go above 36" it is more difficult finding a small cup. Go to 38" and it is usually B and up.
I like to shop in person even if it’s a bit uncomfortable at times. I am figuring out my sizes, and so I am not getting things to big or small a size eight to nine seems to be best. I also found an incredible pair of heels in my size a twelve ladies and they are great. I am finding bras more difficult as I have small breast and some styles work while the more full cup and padded not as well. I really enjoy dressing part way bra and panties under my clothes and shopping it feels more real even if I still get nervous at times
Christi
Great poem
It is how we all feel
Great poem
It is how we all feel
I love shopping in person, both in drab and en femme. I've never had anyone care and I've taken things to the dressing room in drab. No one cared. Actually, I think this is a helpful step if you're wanting to get out and having trouble with that first step out the door. Shopping for women's clothing dressed as a man can be a good way to own this other side of yourself and overcome hesitation and fear. I think for most of us, even the boldest who go out all the time, we got their gradually. Shopping and using the dressing rooms can be a good step. Some stores have segregated dressing rooms, but others do not. Pick a place that shares a single set of dressing rooms between male/female and take a few things in. It's kind of fun and a good step if you have the eventual goal of going out.
Thanks Sarah. I quite like your thought about this is a good way of "owning" this side of yourself, and getting over the nervousness we all feel at first.
Amy
Thanks Sarah. I quite like your thought about this is a good way of "owning" this side of yourself, and getting over the nervousness we all feel at first.
Amy
@raven188 I agree Sarah I have shopped for Women's clothes and used the dressing rooms, Even in Victoria's Secret and your right nobody cares.
I love shopping in person, both in drab and en femme. I've never had anyone care and I've taken things to the dressing room in drab. No one cared. Actually, I think this is a helpful step if you're wanting to get out and having trouble with that first step out the door. Shopping for women's clothing dressed as a man can be a good way to own this other side of yourself and overcome hesitation and fear. I think for most of us, even the boldest who go out all the time, we got their gradually. Shopping and using the dressing rooms can be a good step. Some stores have segregated dressing rooms, but others do not. Pick a place that shares a single set of dressing rooms between male/female and take a few things in. It's kind of fun and a good step if you have the eventual goal of going out.
Both. And, in both modes.
I certainly can relate to your jitters about the first time. It gets to be old hat after a while.
When I came out to my wife, and after the 'shock of it all' wore off some, she would buy me items with or without me present in drab mode. As she looked at items, she would notice other men in the ladies section. Once upon a time, she would have only thought they were buying for their partners. Not anymore.
Retailers work extra hard these days training their staffs to be open to all this, because, ultimately, it serves the retailer best.
Thank you for the reply Dani. Recently my wife and I were shopping at women's store and a man comes in and up to the return desk. Now, of course maybe he was just returning something for the Lady in his life, then again, maybe not!
Amy
Thank you for the reply Dani. Recently my wife and I were shopping at women's store and a man comes in and up to the return desk. Now, of course maybe he was just returning something for the Lady in his life, then again, maybe not!
Amy
Both. And, in both modes.
I certainly can relate to your jitters about the first time. It gets to be old hat after a while.
When I came out to my wife, and after the 'shock of it all' wore off some, she would buy me items with or without me present in drab mode. As she looked at items, she would notice other men in the ladies section. Once upon a time, she would have only thought they were buying for their partners. Not anymore.
Retailers work extra hard these days training their staffs to be open to all this, because, ultimately, it serves the retailer best.
thnka you for sharing. I agree it is fun and exciting to shop in person but that feeling that everyone if Staring at you can be overwhelming.
Leah, thank you very much. Yes, one does feel as though you're being watched, but it isn't always paranoia, sometimes I get the odd look, but that's as far as it has gone, for me anyway.
Amy
Leah, thank you very much. Yes, one does feel as though you're being watched, but it isn't always paranoia, sometimes I get the odd look, but that's as far as it has gone, for me anyway.
Amy
thnka you for sharing. I agree it is fun and exciting to shop in person but that feeling that everyone if Staring at you can be overwhelming.
