The Ageing Cross-dresser

Ahhhh, so well said Becca!! As my grandpa would often say…”the golden years are the s**ts!” But a positive outlook, and being happy are like being treated to a day at the spa! And your post has certainly done that for me. Thank you!!

Hi Becca.  Thank You for that brutally honest essay.  I think a poll was taken and a lot of the girls here are up in age and we silently have that conversation in the mirror with ourselves.  I just want to be happy and dress young.  With the way of the world and my age, it's possible I will be found expired in a young girl outfit. I don't want to be a woman. I dress to be happy.   karley

Thank you for sharing this. I'm finally starting my journey into this at 54, so I have been thinking a lot about how age will affect things down the road.

What a great artcle, expecially relevant to another 'almost' seventy year old. I love your closing paragraphs as they ring so true; dressing does make you feel years younger.

Becca, your story sounds so familiar to these ancient ears.
I see very similar things in the mirror as I begin to make myself into the woman I wish I had always been. The wrinkles, the bags, the uneven skin, the eyesight that makes 5x magnification necessary to do my makeup all so familiar to me.
My legs are no longer the beauties of my youth, but show the age spots of my longevity. The clicks and cracks of movement, the stents (3) that keep me going and the Titanium that makes wearing heels impossible any more.
So much alike we are and in so many ways.

The wigs, the makeup, the pretty vibrant clothing all help to suppress the tolls of time and allow us to feel a touch of youth once more. Some of the process is time consuming, some more difficult than it should be yet so rewarding when accomplished.
I feel I would be slipping into the depths of old age much faster were it not for my ability to be this younger, more vibrant self. This happier, feminine self.

Becca, 

I must disagree with one thing. I don't believe the Reaper is any closer to us than to anyone else. He doesn't discriminate. I think we just recognize his presence much more than those younger who feel invincible.

Reminds me of a favorite joke. 

An old Italian man is on his deathbed. His youngest son says "dad, one question. You drove, rode a bus, took a train and a ship but never flew. Why?" The father looks at him and says "when God calls you you gotta go". His son is confused. The father then says " I don't wanna be up there when God calls the pilot".

Thanks for the great article.
I'm the same age you, only for another couple weeks then I'll be 71, so I can relate to a lot of what you said.
Though I got serious about dressing up and having an active femme identity starting about 64, I do wish I was younger and prettier and regret all those years I lost longing to do go further but did nothing much about it.
However, I have a very good friend who is now about 89 and she is still dressing up and even getting out with the help of a supportive spouse as she is now having mobility issues. What a life though, nearly 90 and still CDing!
Of course not even makeup can hide her age so she now looks like a beautiful elegant old lady. Of course we would all prefer to look like a beautiful young one, but my point is that there is a future for us card carrying seniors who are drawn into this web of femininity.
So, like you, I'm glad I have got to this point because I am so much the better and happier for it.
Amy

My dear it sounds as if you are reading from my diary. 🤔🤗

I find it very interesting that many ladies here on CDH started their crossdressing later in life. After their successful marriages and raising of their children. Suddenly they finally decide to put on a dress! How cool!

I have a running argument with my gay sister-in-law, she says that anyone “trans” is just born that way. They have no choice in the matter. I vehemently disagree with her take on that. (And she does not know about Grace -nor will she ever.)

Everything is a choice. We all have feelings and desires. But when you act on them you are choosing to do something. I chose not to wear feminine attire for over 25 years. Now I’m choosing to again.

I certainly wasn’t “born this way.” I have early memories of being exposed to nieces wearing pantyhose and them showing me how sheer they were on their legs. And I remember the young me thinking - “Well now, those are really nice aren’t they?” I made a choice right then…”I’m gonna try those for myself someday.” I think that exposure to certain things at certain points in your life is what influences your choice to become trans-whatever…in my case a transvestite, crossdresser, whichever description one feels comfortable with.

GP

Amen Becca

I'm older than you but lucky I look 20 years younger I'm told. Yet the mirror is cruel. LOL I'm coming out of the closet a little at a time.
My wife doesn't like the changes in me but acts like she doesn't see them. (as long as keep them a little at a time) She is the only reason I don't fully openly embrace my feminine side.
All most all I wear now is women's but most can pass as "male" also. I can't wear make up yet in town. I shave or wax eyes down. My nail are long and painted and always will be now.
The more feminine I dress the happier I feel. I now understand why my wife has so many heels. LOL

I've been a man all my life but there are two of me < now both sides of me can be happy.

I understand why my wife doesn't like my girl side so I try to make/keep her happy and always will.
I wish she liked both sides of me. I believe life would be so much richer for us if she did.
I'll always love her even if she never fully accepts both of me.

I've come a long ways but can't fully be my authentic total self.....yet.
Thanks for sharing your feelings and issues of age. You are more proof we are never to old to be happy.

I am now 2 weeks past my 77th Birthday ! I have had 4 Cancer Operations and a Triple Bypass Open Heart Surgery. In the past year I have torn my Achilles Tendon,chipped my shoulder blade and torn my Rotator Cuff. I can no longer wear my Stilettos, nor my low cut tops and dresses, BUT , I still wear the lingerie I want, Jeans and Harem Pants, turtle neck and Cowell Neck tops and make-up. My wife of 56 years doesn't understand or like this side of me, but lately has been more grudgingly accepting of Michelle. I feel like as long as I can dress myself, then I will wear whatever I want to wear.

a few thoughts: 1-remember that women go through their own set of ailments due to aging.2-from my experience the one thing we have going is that people don't check us out like younger women so we are sort of under the radar. So to all who fear going out of the house consider that.3-personally I could be even further under the radar at 84 if I didn't sort of over-dress for where I'm going.But then I wouldn't be as happy if I didn't take advantage of wearing feminine,stylish clothes. 4-Emily was with me (inside) since my earliest recollection at age 4 or so

Well Becca, at 71+ years young I have also found it difficult to tap into the 'Fountain of Youth'. I also am thankful that with a little effort I don't look as old as I feel. A cautionary note, however. As we age it is important to not use products the same way our younger selves might have. My skin is getting thinner, and it won't tolerate all the AHA, BHA, retinol, niacin, Vit C etc. like it used to.

Thanks Becca. Getting old is not for the faint of heart I've been told. The last line of your story is what matters most. Take care.

Yes the