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The Duality of Crossdressing

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Posts: 31
Duchess
Topic starter
(@tracyaus)
Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Joined: 1 month ago
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Embracing Duality: The Challenges and Joys of Crossdressing

In today's society, where the boundaries of gender expression are continuously expanding, crossdressing remains a unique and often misunderstood aspect of personal identity. For many, it is not just about wearing clothes traditionally associated with another gender but a profound expression of one's inner self. As with any journey of self-discovery, crossdressing comes with its own set of challenges and joys.

The Challenges

  1. Social Stigma: One of the most significant hurdles is the societal stigma attached to crossdressing. Despite progress in gender acceptance, crossdressers often face prejudice and misunderstanding. This can manifest as ridicule, discrimination, or even ostracism, making it difficult to fully embrace this aspect of oneself openly.
  2. Family and Relationships: Revealing one's crossdressing to family and loved ones can be fraught with anxiety. Fear of rejection or damaging relationships can lead many to keep this part of their identity hidden. Navigating these conversations requires sensitivity, patience, and often, a great deal of courage.
  3. Internal Struggles: Many crossdressers grapple with internal conflicts about their identity. Societal norms and expectations can create a sense of guilt or shame, leading to internalized transphobia. This emotional turmoil can impact mental health, making support systems and self-acceptance crucial.
  4. Practical Issues: Finding appropriate clothing, makeup, and accessories that fit and flatter can be a logistical challenge. Additionally, learning the skills required for presenting oneself as desired, such as makeup application or styling, can be time-consuming and sometimes frustrating.

The Joys

  1. Self-Expression: At its core, crossdressing is a form of self-expression. It allows individuals to explore and embrace different facets of their personality. This freedom to express oneself authentically is incredibly liberating and fulfilling.
  2. Community and Support: The crossdressing community is vibrant and supportive. Finding others who share similar experiences can provide a sense of belonging and validation. Online forums, social media groups, and local meetups offer spaces where crossdressers can share advice, stories, and encouragement.
  3. Creative Outlet: For many, crossdressing is a creative endeavor. It involves fashion, makeup, and sometimes even performance art. This creativity can be a joyful and enriching experience, offering a break from the mundane aspects of everyday life.
  4. Personal Growth: The journey of a crossdresser is often one of personal growth. It requires self-reflection, resilience, and the courage to challenge societal norms. Overcoming the associated challenges can lead to increased self-confidence and a deeper understanding of oneself.
  5. Empathy and Understanding: Embracing crossdressing can foster greater empathy and understanding towards others who experience similar struggles with identity. This broader perspective can lead to more compassionate relationships and a more inclusive worldview.

Balancing the Dualities

The experience of crossdressing is a tapestry woven with both struggles and triumphs. It is about finding balance and embracing dualities. For some, it is an occasional practice, while for others, it is an integral part of their identity. Regardless of the frequency or extent, it remains a deeply personal journey.

To those embarking on or continuing this journey, remember that you are not alone. Every challenge faced is a step towards greater self-awareness and acceptance. And within this journey lies the joy of discovering and celebrating the multifaceted nature of who you are.

Conclusion

In conclusion, crossdressing, like any form of self-expression, is a complex interplay of challenges and joys. It demands resilience in the face of adversity and offers profound rewards in terms of personal fulfillment and community connection. By sharing our stories and supporting one another, we can create a more understanding and inclusive society for all forms of gender expression.

Thank you for taking time to ready my ariticle. Here are a few questions I'll pose to you to answer anyone of them you please.

  1. Have you revealed your love of crossdressing to any of your immediated family members and if so, what was the response from him/her?
  2. Have you made a public appearance while dressed as your femme self? Please feel free to tell me how was the experience from start to finish.
  3. Which part of your crossdressing do you feel like needs the most amount of improvement?

Sincerely, Trish

 

 

 

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5 Replies
Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 4 months ago

Prominent Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 414

@tracyaus What a great article, thanks for posting it as it is genuinely thought-provoking.

To answer the questions:

1. Only my wife knows and she is still getting used to it, but accepts Anna days and we go shopping for girl stuff together.

2. Only once, which was to walk from a makeover to my car and drive home though rush hour traffic. Exhilarating, nerve-wracking are words that spring to mind. I have also been out in make up with wig off and loose male clothes over lingerie and padding. Didn't get any glances or comments. I wear shorts most of the time, nobody seems to notice that I have shaved legs.

3. All of it! Anna is very much a work in progress. Next makeup lesson is later this week

Hugs,

Anna x

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Duchess
(@tracyaus)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Posts: 31

@annaredhead 

Hi Anna,

Thanks for your reply. To summarise your experiences with mine..."ditto" and, are we twins! How alike our experiences are!

Which is rather comforting

Kisses

Tracy xx

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Duchess
(@tracyaus)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Posts: 31

To all my dear sisters,

 

I am deeply grateful for the overwhelming response to my recent article. Your heartfelt replies, personal stories, and thoughtful reflections have truly touched me.

I have and will continue to read each reply but wanted to take this opportunity to thankyou you all. Now. 

It is a privilege to be part of such a supportive and understanding community. Each of your responses has truly reinforced the importance of sharing our experiences and learning from one another. Your openness and honesty in discussing your journeys have not only enriched my understanding but have also provided me with immense encouragement and inspiration.

Thank you for taking the time to read my article and for contributing your perspectives. Your engagement has made this discussion far more meaningful and impactful than I could have ever imagined. I look forward to continuing this dialogue and supporting each other as we navigate the unique paths of our lives.

With my sincere appreciation.

Tracy xx

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Lady
(@cynthiac)
Joined: 3 years ago

Active Member     Bridgewater, New Jersey, United States of America
Posts: 10

@tracyaus Thank you so much for your insightful article.  You are spot on!  While there are many challenges in crossdressing, I think that is also what makes it joyful. I enjoy the duality and I think that also makes me a better person.

Answering your questions:

1.  No one knows I crossdress, including my wife.  I am still discovering this side of me, and I am not ready to share with anyone.

2.Technically no, but I did have a makeover, so I have been seen in a place outside the home by a few people.

3.  Everything!  But that is the joy of the journey, yes?  Learning new things, applying them and getter better...I will always be a beautiful work in progress!

Cynthia 

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Duchess
(@tracyaus)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Posts: 31

@cynthiac Thabkyou for your kind words Cynthia,

Our journey in crossdressing and finding out who we really are will be long, fun, wonderfdul yet very challenging. So I agree, we all are very much "works in progress"

I also believe that as we explore and experience our femininity, we truly do become better more loving people. 

Kisses

Tracy xx

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Posts: 53
Lady
(@sunnyday)
Trusted Member     Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

That's a very thoughtful article Tracy and many of those challenges and joys resonate with me. The thing I struggle with most is creating time to crossdress. I don't want to reveal my secret to my wife. It's a big risk to our relationship, and it's also a risk to her happiness and her relationships with others. She suffers from low self-esteem and has anxiety issues. I suppress my desires until I have clear cut opportunities to dress - although those still involve me lying to my wife about where I'm going- which I hate, and which I hate myself for. I make the sacrifice of not dressing more, believing that overall, it is for the better. I carry the weight of the secret and being a liar if you like. I wish it was different but that is just how it is. Thank you for posting the article. I take great comfort in being able to express myself here and in seeing and hearing from others here.

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4 Replies
Duchess
(@tracyaus)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Posts: 31
Duchess
(@tracyaus)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Posts: 31

Thank you for your heartfelt response. I'm glad you found the article resonant and comforting. The challenges you describe are indeed significant and complex, and I deeply respect your courage in sharing your struggles.

Creating time to crossdress without revealing your secret to your wife is a delicate balance. Your concern for her well-being and your relationship is commendable. It's understandable that you suppress your desires to protect her happiness, given her struggles with self-esteem and anxiety.

Lying to your wife about your whereabouts must be a heavy burden, especially when honesty is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship. It's clear you are making a sacrifice, believing it is for the greater good. Carrying the weight of this secret and feeling like a liar can be emotionally taxing.

Finding a safe space to express yourself, like this community, can be a vital source of support. It's important to have an outlet where you can share your experiences and find solace in the understanding of others.

Thank you for your openness. We are all here to listen and support you

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Lady
(@daddydavita)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Midland, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 59

@sunnyday I was just think about your situation and had a thought. I wonder if a path to a more intimate conversation with your wife about your innermost self could be to talk more about the  feminine traits, less masculine side of your thoughts and interests as opposed to talking about the dressing. Maybe let conversation develop more naturally?

I don't know if that helps or fits your situation, but it was a thought. 

Hugs Davita

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Lady
(@sunnyday)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 53

@daddydavita - hi, and thanks for your thoughts, much appreciated. I see where you're coming from, although I see that final step as one I won't take. I'm not actually much of a man's man, so we're kind of along that path already. She knows I share her interest in women's fashion for example, and we do talk about that and visit exhibitions together, which she knows I enjoy. She knows my appreciation of what works well in fashion and what could be improved. She knows I love Grayson Perry for who he is. She knows I defend men's right to dress how they please. She just doesn't know that I'd like to be experimenting with and trying those things on. There's a final step I won't make, because of and with the difficulties I mentioned. Tough one. For me.

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Posts: 649
Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Noble Member     Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 11 months ago

@tracyaus Wow, that is an excellent breakdown! Very thorough. I was really glad to see all of the thoughtful Joys listed out - a couple I think I was aware of, but hadn't recognized as such.

To answer your questions:

1. Have you revealed your love of crossdressing to any of your immediate family members and if so, what was the response from him/her?

I've told my girlfriend of 10yrs, my sister, and my daughter. My GF I told when I felt things were getting serious, not repeating the mistake I made with my ex-wife. At that time it was just a lingerie thing, but she was 100% supportive, and still is today now that it's a full blown deal.

I told my sister (a therapist) when I was trying to ask her if I should tell my daughter. Her reaction was...not negative, but we've never talked about it since. Which is fine, she didn't ask to know that.

My daughter (19 now) was living with her mother and so didn't need to know, but moved in with me last Oct, and so I revealed all to her as I wasn't going to have some secret hidden from her. She was shocked, but entirely supportive. She's bought earrings and makeup for me as presents.

2. Have you made a public appearance while dressed as your femme self? Please feel free to tell me how was the experience from start to finish.

A public appearance as in being up on stage? No, I'm nobody lol I would if asked, but not a lot of offers at the moment. Or a public appearance as in just going out in public? yes, I do that a few times per month. Sometimes to CD/TG events, sometimes just to the mall. 

3. Which part of your crossdressing do you feel like needs the most amount of improvement?

Easy - makeup. I feel like I'm adequate at makeup, but I don't have any grasp of the finer points or advanced techniques. 

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Duchess
(@tracyaus)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Posts: 31

@melodeescarlet Hi Melodee and thanks for your reply.

Great that you are having some acceptance from your family. We all want and need that. But sadly reality is a brutal, at times, master.

But, the silver lining is that here at CDH we are accepted so I am thankful for that and yes, feel blessed to be a part of our wonderful community. 

Now, about your makeup skills...please send them my way! I am woeful! 

Kisses,

Tracy xx

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Posts: 115
 Lacy
Duchess
(@rholtman96)
Reputable Member     Lincoln city, Oregon, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

Thank you for your well thought out article. I've told my wife and am getting ready to tell a friend of 40yrs (wish me luck), I've been out and about and walked around my local park and rest area a few times, and the local market once as for where I need improvement I'd have to say makeup, I get by but I know I could do better.

Lacy

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Duchess
(@tracyaus)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Posts: 31

@rholtman96 I wish you every luck and prayer in the world when you tell your friend. I have found especially amongst non family, acceptance is quite high and almost always encouraging.

Thanks for reading and replying

Kisses

Tracy xx

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Posts: 63
Lady
(@trish)
Trusted Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

Ways to make life understanding for all,

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Duchess
(@tracyaus)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Posts: 31

@trish Thanks Trisha, glad it helps.

Thanks for reading and replying.

Kisses

Tracy xx

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Posts: 1290
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Noble Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

As for your questions:

1. I have told pretty much all of my friends and acquaintances about Fiona and the reception has been good by all. I have a few people that I will not tell because I know they wouldn't react well and their friendship is more important to me than my crossdressing. I am widowed with no children and the only relative I've told is my gay brother, who is okay with it.

2. I live full time as a woman and have been out in public somewhere around 500 times. I only had a problem once and that was partially my fault by opening my mouth in a situation where I should have stayed silent.

3. My voice is pretty much male even though occasionally I can sound more feminine in very short conversations. My makeup skills are good but I struggle with doing eyeliner correctly.

 

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Duchess
(@tracyaus)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Posts: 31

@d44 Hi Fiona, thanks for your reply. I am so saddened to hear you are widowed (lots of hugs)...

Wow, 500 times, you are now "only" 498 more than me! 

And yes, It seems our makeup techniques are one area some of us struggle with. That and in my case, time and gravity and wrinkles do not help!

kisses

Tracy xx

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Posts: 694
 Leah
Baroness
(@leah63)
Prominent Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

excellent article, that fully hit home for me as I am sure for many others

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Duchess
(@tracyaus)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Posts: 31

@leah63 Thankyou Leah, I am so happy it was of some benefit for you. That makes me happy to hear that.

kisses and thanks for your sweet encouragement 

Tracy xx

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Posts: 934
Duchess Annual
(@firefly)
Noble Member     Panama, Panama, Panama
Joined: 6 years ago

It is a well structured article, Tracy. Excellent analysis. Very realistic. With various reading levels, something I like it. I felt involved with the discourse of the text. I enjoy it.
The notes I made while reading would lead me to write a complementary article, which is not my intention, so I will try to summarize them.
Panama is not a nice place to crossdress, except maybe for some tourist. For me crossdressing represents a way of manifesting my essence. An important part of me that I cannot and do not want to avoid. My presence at CDH and TGH has helped me accept myself and develop in this fundamental aspect of my existence. I live in an environment where the social stigma associated with crossdressing is exaggerated. My youthful struggle with dysphoria and my internal conflicts were very difficult to overcome. Seeing Thanatos in the face years later taught me that I cannot separate such an intimate truth from my life and that I need to live fully the time I am missing (I say this because of my age, not for other reasons).
I feel like I am becoming more and more rebellious against social norms. My trips out of the country have led me to become more involved with the communities of crossdressers and transgender people. I feel part of them. Accepted, loved and respected.
The Janus quadrifront wanted to mean that life always has several facets and we can observe it from different points of view. It is important to know that we are not alone, even if my company is from a distance. I feel comfortable sharing my experiences. I think successes are more exciting than disappointments.

To answer your questions:

1) No way! I have already surpassed the number of unsuccessful attempts; but one never knows. I should post the rest of the answer as another topic, because it ain't really part of the answer.
2) Yes! I had magnificent experiences going out as a woman. Whom is interested can read them in my articles published on Keystone or the one that comes about Esprit, so as not to go into much detail.
3)I feel like I have made a lot of progress, perhaps out of neccesity, so far this year. I need to improve my body shape (lose more pounds) and work on my voice, that doesn't bother me. Modeling in The Fashion Show boosted my confidence.

Although I reduced it by two thirds, it was a bit long, but nothing is left over.

Your sister. The unrepeatable,
Gisela Claudine.

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1 Reply
Duchess
(@tracyaus)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Posts: 31

@firefly Hi Gisela, wow, let me congratulate you on such a thoughtful and insightful reply.

I am sure your succinct, sweetheart, you should have let it all be written and said, we want more from you! :), response is marvellous. Made me pause and reread.

Kisses. with our mutual typer's cramp...

Tracy xx

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Posts: 419
Lady
(@krisburton)
Honorable Member     Northern, New Jersey, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

A wonderfully insightful article Tracy! I can relate to all of it. I personally revel in the duplicity that crossdressing affords. The handing over of your psyche to your female or alternate self for a time I find exhilarating and keeps me coming back for more. I always consider myself one of the lucky ones. My late start down this path (age 69!) may mean I may have missed the best years in terns of presentation but it also means I escaped the guilt and shame cycle that so many of our number suffer. I also consider your "Practical Issues" part of the the fun of discovery, and that part also something of an artistic pursuit as well.

All in all, such a positive outlook, and an uplifting read!

Thank!
Kris

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1 Reply
Duchess
(@tracyaus)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Posts: 31

@krisburton Hi Kris and many thanks for your sweet and lovely words of encouragement. 

I love your well balanced outlook in regards to your late blooming into a sweet and wonderful flower, against the sometimes harsh realities of our internal struggles. I can well relate to the latter.

Thanks again and I love your smile, comes from a sweet heart!

Kisses

Tracy xx

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Posts: 2696
Hostess
(@ab123)
Famed Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

Thank you for a well thought and interesting article Tracy. There are so many reasons in the article that would make anyone wonder why we should ever come out to anyone as it is so fraught with problems. However, as we all know for some there is a drive to be able to dress that inevitably someone should be told, usually before they find out find out. Partners are in most instances the first which is a mine field.

In my case I came out to my mother first as I felt she would have had an inclination as I had privately dressed in her clothes and sisters when young and she had occasionally dressed me for 'fun'. The odd thing was she didn't have a clue but was supportive which led me to tell my siblings and that went well. For a few years I could dress and was helped along. As my confidence grew I started to go out. I think the first occasion was when i dressed at my mothers house while dad was at work. I was just passable and mum helped with an outfit which was a skirt, top, cardigan with a my first decent wig. I drove to a country park and we wandered around. It all went well although it was a very scary time and worried about being read or something happening, which it didn't.

Many years passed and I went out more and more, told many people and life has been good as I am all but full time and have worked as a female and made new friends who only know me as Angela.

I am happy with the way I look and if there was something to change it would be , well two. My voice and have a more feminine face. Sure full surgery would be nice but probably not achievable at my time of life.

 

I

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Duchess
(@tracyaus)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Posts: 31

@ab123 Hi Angela,

Thankyou for sharing what is a wonderful story of your journey. I am sure along this path there have been challenging times but yes, you are right, most people are kind and good. We just need to find these and stay away from the others. Not easy but life is full of blessings, we take them when we can.

Oh and your mother sounds lovely. Bless her

Kisses

Tracy xx

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Posts: 140
Duchess Annual
(@isabella22)
Estimable Member     Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 5 years ago

Great description of how we ask feel. Fortunately, the joys out way the challenges. In the family, only my SO knows. She had difficulty accepting at the beginning with her greatest fear of loosing me. Thanks to to all the great discussions on CDH, I learned to go very slowly with small steps. Today, she accepts Denise in the house and is confident that we I will not run away. When prompted, we have great conversations on clothing and on my outings. She stills does not understand why I have this interest. My female neighbour knows and is very happy for me. That is all the people that know.

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Duchess
(@tracyaus)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Posts: 31

@isabella22 Hi Denise and thanks for your reply.

Your wife sounds amazing. They most always are, mine is wonderful and somewhat tolerant. I agree, I truly believe there is a fear from our SO's that yes, they are losing the person they loved/married. I understand this legitimate fear. From my perspective, I would like to think they will never lose us but actually gain and experience a more loving and caring side to us. I find when I am dressed I am a much better person.

 

Kisses

Tracy xx

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Posts: 105
Duchess
(@3s3eve)
Estimable Member     Chicago, Illinois, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

Tracy (Trish),
I appreciate the clarity of your article - each of the points you made resonated with me. My responses:

  1. Have you revealed your love of crossdressing to any of your immediate family members and if so, what was the response from him/her?

I came out to my wife about 4 years ago, finally admitting to myself (and to her) that I was a crossdresser. It was a situation that she knew for quite a while but didn't want to know, so ignored all the signs. Her response has been evolving from initially "I don't want to see or know what you do when dressing" to tolerance and some level of acceptance. There have been many, many conversations, some very fraught, and some more humorous. I have not told anyone else, although I think my daughter is aware.

  1. Have you made a public appearance while dressed as your femme self? Please feel free to tell me how was the experience from start to finish.

I have never yet gone out in public fully femme, although have made baby steps with androgynous style and some 3" heeled boots for trips to the store. Have been called ma'am by a few check out ladies.

  1. Which part of your crossdressing do you feel like needs the most amount of improvement?

My overall femme style and appearance. I am not sure I could really ever pass as a woman; however, I would love to have a makeover and learn how to do make-up and styling from a professional. And I would like to know more about how to select and fit wigs and foundation wear.

Thanks again for opening this up,

Evie

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4 Replies
Duchess
(@tracyaus)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Posts: 31

@3s3eve

Dear Evie,

Thank you for your thoughtful and heartfelt response. It is encouraging to see the progress you've made and the personal insights you've shared. Allow me to address each of your points if I may:

 

Revealing to Immediate Family: Your journey with your wife resonates deeply with many of us. It's heartening to hear that her response has evolved from initial resistance to tolerance and some level of acceptance. Navigating such a significant revelation is never easy (trust me, I know) and your patience and ongoing conversations are commendable. It's understandable that you haven't told anyone else yet, as these matters are deeply personal and require the right moment and context.

Public Appearance: Taking those baby steps towards public presentation in androgynous styles and heeled boots is a significant achievement. The experience of being addressed as "ma'am" must have been affirming and perhaps a bit surreal. Each small step you take builds confidence, and your story could inspire others who are hesitant about venturing out. You certainly have for me!

Areas for Improvement: Your desire to improve your femme style and appearance is shared by many in our community. The idea of a professional makeover and styling session sounds wonderful and can be incredibly empowering. Learning to select the right wigs and foundation wear can indeed make a significant difference. Many find that professional guidance in these areas not only enhances their look but also boosts their confidence immensely. CDH has some links to services  such as these.

Thank you for sharing your experiences and aspirations. It's through such honest and open discussions that we can support and learn from each other. If you have any questions or need further advice, please don't hesitate to reach out to call of us. We are here for you

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Duchess
(@3s3eve)
Joined: 1 year ago

Estimable Member     Chicago, Illinois, United States of America
Posts: 105

Thanks so much for the affirmation and encouragement, it feels good to connect. xo

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Lady
(@kyrabrooke)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 61

Thanks Evie for you insightful comments and questions per Tracy's post! I hope you don't mind if I send you a friend request (no hurry nor worry) but you can feel free when comfortable to ask me anything you wish. I'm also happy to offer things I know and talk about things I may not. All the best! Take care, Kyra

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Duchess
(@3s3eve)
Joined: 1 year ago

Estimable Member     Chicago, Illinois, United States of America
Posts: 105

Thanks Kyra - I appreciate your willingness to connect. xo

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Posts: 32
Duchess
(@gafran)
Trusted Member     Warner Robins, Georgia, United States of America
Joined: 2 months ago

Buying clothes wasn't a problem for me. Makeup and finding footwear that fits was. I challenged myself to go out dressed mostly at night. Then some daytime excursions. The voice is still a giveaway. But the someday is getting closer to reality. The inner girl will get her way. Love Fran

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Duchess
(@tracyaus)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Posts: 31

@gafran Hi Fran,

 

I agree, that inner girl needs to come out in all her glory and wonder. We deserve this freedom and by being free I am sure we will be better Frans and Tracys. Because this is who we really are, not restricted by society nor prejudices. Nor by fear.  The real us will be a glory to behold! Watch out world!

 

kisses

Tracy xx

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Posts: 61
Lady
(@kyrabrooke)
Estimable Member     Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Joined: 2 months ago

Excellent info Tracy, so very much thank-you. My concern for both healthful personal growth in any case and good mental health in our community really makes me encouraged and happy to see this post. It's both detailed and concise. Lovely... Big luv, Kyra

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2 Replies
Duchess
(@tracyaus)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Posts: 31

Dear Kyra,
Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughtful reply. I am genuinely heartened to hear that the article resonated with you and that it contributes positively to our community's well-being.
Your concern for both personal growth and mental health within our community is shared by many of us, and it is wonderful to know that my post has provided some encouragement and happiness. It is through supportive exchanges like this that we can foster a stronger, more understanding, and healthier environment for all.
Your appreciation and big love mean a lot to me. Let’s continue to support each other and share our experiences, so we can all grow and thrive together.

kisses
Tracy xx

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Lady
(@kyrabrooke)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 61

@tracyaus Aw, thanks Tracy... So many can benefit from a level of healing that many of the points, laid out so nicely, can be referenced by someone who needs any one of the areas covered. Again, I liked the bulleted way these were accessible, wide ranging and clear. This site, of which I've not even been on a month, has revealed to me in valuable pieces repeatedly and a truly, consistent, supportive nature that is so needed at this time. I'll simply just agree with all the added points in the comment you've made and send you heart felt gratitude for creating resources that assist in healthful personal growth and thus again, healing. 

Big luv, Kyra! xoxo  

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Posts: 1427
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Tracy -..

Thank you for a very thoughtful and informative article. It was an easy read and made some very good points, both positive and negative about crossdressing.

As to your questions:

1- My wife was the first one I told. At first she didn't take it well but we had a lot of discussions and she went from being upset to tolerance to  moderate acceptance. What I mean by that is she helps me with shopping, make up application (or at least touch ups), going for mani-pedi's, shopping and occasionally spending time with me when I'm dressed. She understands the importance of my dressing to me. I have a therapist who knows as that is the reason I started going to her, there have been some sessions where I have dressed as i am able to change in her office. I have also told my son who is okay with it. Recently I told a lifelong friend and he seems okay with it although it wasn't discussed other than to mention that I crossdress.

2- The only times I have been out in public have been when I went to a CD/TG Support Group meeting and I changed there and at my therapists office as I mentioned. I have been out a couple times in a pair of shorts my wife gave me that no longer fit her as well as in a pair of ankle boots. My wife is okay with me going out in those as the shorts look like men's shorts with the exception of the zipper opening on the other side. As to the ankle boots they are a black suede but look like men's cowboy boots. I have pierced ears and wear earrings 24/7. mostly studs or small hoops but I have gone out wearing dangling earrings a couple times. We do go for mani-pedi's every couple months and when it isn't sandal season I get color on my toes.

3- As like most make up would be the one thing that needs the most work. If I had the time to practice more it would probably help. 

XOXO
Suzanne

 

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2 Replies
Lady
(@kyrabrooke)
Joined: 2 months ago

Estimable Member     Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 61

@cdsue Hi Suzanne, please allow me to thank-you for sharing your story re- your SO and I just wanted to say, I am so happy for you of the level of support you've received. Help with shopping, make-up I know can be a wonderful expression of the acceptance that has developed. I wish you continued growth within your situation and it's so nice to see you here, as I've been a member at CDH for just a few weeks. I'm sure you'll uncover lots of make-up assistance here!

Big luv, Kyra ox 

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Duchess
(@tracyaus)
Joined: 1 month ago

Trusted Member     Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
Posts: 31

@cdsue Thankyou Suzanne for your lovely and detailed reply.Your dear wife sounds amazing and it appears you are now on the journey together albeit with bumps and detours along the way.

To my mind you are both rising to the challenge and we hope, ultimately the joys of your crossdressing.

kisses

Tracy xx

 

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