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Prior to a week of business travel, my wife suggested that
Tammy meet her when returning home from my business trip. This was an unexpected event as my wife, although somewhat supportive from time to time, had not ever seen Tammy in full dress and make up.
As events typically occur, between delayed flights, canceled
hotel reservations and 30 hours of sleepless travel, our plans were on
temporary hold. Upon arriving home and still insisting on a presentation, I was
instructed to be in dress before my wife’s late afternoon wakeup.
Having the time for my wife’s visual debut of Tammy, I prepared throughout the morning hours then patiently posed myself in comfy chair, positioning myself so my wife would view me from a distance as she entered our family room. To amplify the experience, I staged a “Cosmo” in one hand while the other was covering my beard as to not expose any facial hair.
Sitting in a knee length yellow flower print dress, shoulder length blonde/grey wig, facial makeup, red lipstick, red polished toe and finger nails, jet black nylons, tan
open toed three-inch platforms and appropriate body forms, I patiently waited.
Later that afternoon, after waking from her travels, my wife entered the room I occupied with an unsure look. Quickly replaced by a surprising smile, I heard the words, “I thought some other girl was in our house for a second and wondered who she was then remembered… it was you.” That was the first time my wife of nearly 35 years saw Tammy.
As fears of the C-19 virus erupted, my wife and I found ourselves at home, all alone and basically isolated. With ample supplies on hand for an extended period. One morning, my wife approached me and suggested that this was a great time for Tammy to come out and play!
Surprised again, but accepting, I was floored when she said, “I want you to shave your facial hair, your arms, armpits (I shave my legs frequently), put on some makeup, lipstick, wig, and look pretty. I want to see you again without hair and as a woman”.
As requested and unsure as to exactly what to expect, early the next morning, Tammy, in all her femininity appeared to my wife. We spent the rest of the day and evening together as girls, sipping wine coolers and indulging in our femininity. Building a little more confidence in my appearance, I had to ask “Do you think I would "pass" if we went out", I asked. "Hell, Yes!", was her immediate reply.
Still in the closet, or should I say “the house” most recently my wife spent the late morning and afternoon on our porch with a close LGBTQ plutonic girlfriend. Leaving them to their conversations for several hours, my wife
taking a break from her friend and work, came to me and asked if she could tell her
friend that I liked to cross dress. I encouraged her to do so, thus exposing myself to an active LGBTQ community in our isolated rural Sierra Nevada community.
Fast forward - early morning, two days later and I am
prompted for Tammy to for come out and play for the afternoon and join my wife
for dinner thus allowing for time to prepare Tammy for cocktail hour. Another
first! My wife never surprises!
Thanks to my wife, her security in our relationship, her friendship and confidence with an openly lesbian girlfriend, Tammy is getting the chance to come out, enter the world with a local support group and more importantly the support of my wonderful, understanding and most beautiful wife!
- Currently, where are you at with you wife’s acceptance of your thrill of cross dressing?
- What are some of the limits your wife places on your thrill of cross dressing if any at all?
- Do you and your wife have one on one girl dates together where you shop and have dinner together both as females!
Thanks for taking the time to read my article and please take to the time to either respond to my writings in the article or offer up an answer to one or more of the questions I’ve posed to you above!
Sincerely, Tammy XOXOXO
Tammy, you are one very lucky girl! You are also the envy of 95% of us, here, at CDH. The way forward on your journey is wide open. Here's hoping for all the best for you and your exceptional wife.
Hugs, Kathy
Hi Tammy thanks for sharing your story with us x I'm a mature Crossdresser but I'm still in the closet to my wife, I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do and come out to my wife after all this time,
I wish i could go back and tell her before we got married that i was a cross-dresser then she could decide if she wanted to marry me,
I think I'm like a lot of people who have hidden it away so long it became second nature to keep it hidden in the closet, sometimes i get so jealous of others who have their wife's and S O'S blessings to let their feminine side out into the world xxxxx
Hugs Roz xxxxx
What a great story Tammy, how lucky sister
Paula xxx
You certainly have a lovely and supporting wife!
My wife knows, and is very supporting. We shop together, in person and online, and this has actually brought us closer together. I never really hid this from her during our 35 years of marriage, but a couple of years ago I felt the irresistible urge to dress more, which she had to come to grips with, but she did!
Though we have never done a girlfriend and girlfriend outing just the two of us, we have been out with others.
I am a member of a local CD and TG social group, and before the lock down happened we used to meet once or twice a month for dinners, at which my wife used to sometimes join us. The main thing is that we are only just people, irregardless of how we dress and she has become good friends with some of them.
My wife does not really put any limits on my dressing, but I do for her. I know she doesn't want me to dress every day, which I think I would be happy doing, so I settle for once or twice a week.
The other thing is that she does not want me to come out to our children, which I would like to. They are adults and would be accepting I think.
I general I want to be more open about my dressing, but she also doesn't want to be.
These are limits I can live with.
Amy
Tammy - I loved this!!! So very happy for you and love and support you have.
Great story Tammy! I too have a supportive wife and we have gone out shopping and to dinner as girlfriends. It was only possible because I came out to her on Halloween night. Her reaction was about a minute of disbelief (we've been married 20 years and she had no clue that I cross dressed) then her mentor ship kicked in and has shown me the way to dress, walk, makeup, which clothes to buy, etc. After 65 years of hiding this part of me, it is such a joy to be Kathryn whenever I want and she participates. Hope you continue to have wonderful times together!
Hugs,
Kathryn
Lovely story, Tammy. In my fondest dreams I'd love to have my wife initiate an evening of me dressing and the two of us interacting as women. My wife has evolved from outright hostility to my dressing, to a sort of grudging tolerance. She knows I have gone out with my CD friends for Girls' Night Out a couple of times, and on each occasion I have asked her if she'd enjoy coming out with me. The answer has always been a resounding "that will never happen." She isn't overly bothered if I wear nighties and cute women's PJ's to sleep in, and has seen me trying on panties and bras and camisoles with no particular comment one way or another. But I think, down deep, she is afraid someone we know would see us/me and I'd be outed, as would she (for being a CD enabler I guess). So for now, I underdress only, and do so with caution to avoid any confrontations.
Tammy, your situation mirrors mine own. I too, have been married 35 years. My wife has known about my desire to dress 3 years into our marriage. She has always been somewhat supportive, but it has just been in the last year that she has seen me fully made up. We too, have had a few girlfriend evenings now, and it has been most enjoyable.
I tried to keep things limited during the years we were raising our kids, etc. I could pretty much dress when I wanted to, but no makeup , hair, or padding.
Now, as we move into the next stage of life, I am blessed that she can embrace this other part of me.
Whenever you can be open with your wife about your dressing it’s a good thing. It’s best for that to come out prior to getting married but we all know why it’s not often the case. In my case my wife knew about my dressing before I knew her so when we started seeing each other it was her who told me. I know I got off easy.
Respecting your spouse also is important. I myself don’t always dress up when I know I could, even with my wife. Our relationship isn’t all about my dressing and I’m careful to make sure things stay that way.
I’m glad you’ve found freedom to be open with your wife. She too is open with you and that’s both a good thing. Having someone outside of you two knowing is always thrilling and it sounds like you have someone safe to now know.
Hope you have many years ahead enjoying life out.
Tammy,
Wow, what a great example you are to all of us in the CDH community. I look forward to follow you and your wife as you explore your lives together.
Sincerely,
Samantha. 🙂
Tammy, a beautiful story. I shared with my wife last week, but any acceptance is still in the future. I am so happy for you. You are living the dream.
Love❤❤
Melissa
That is just terrific for you Tammy! I absolutely know the feeling that you have experienced and I know it is euphoric! I too have a very accepting wife. I can be Vanessa when ever I want, do what ever I want, go places with her, shop together, etc. I don't always have to be dressed to be Vanessa either. She accepts who I am inside. The one and only stipulation is that she does not want to live as a lesbian woman. In other words, no permanent transgender woman. I'm sure you can agree that it feels like you can finally 'breathe' when you are being 'Tammy' completely accepted. I wish you all the best!
Hugs Vanessa!
Congrats Tammy, that is awesome. It is definitely an interesting journey. Putting my answers to your questions, my wife knew about Carrie (although I did not have a name yet at that time) when we worked together. We were married after that (25 years next month) and her acceptance came and went until about five years ago when we started seeing a couples counselor who helped us both understand it better. I have a very strong feminine side and I consider myself genderfluid. Now she is all-in. For us, it took me understanding, accepting and being comfortable with myself before she could really be comfortable.
She has put no limits on me. In fact, she is pushing me to be Carrie a little more right now. I have been rehabbing a major hip surgery for about 18 months and not had a lot of Carrie-time. I get a little too intense and competitive as a senior athlete and she likes for me to relax a little.
We do quite a few things together, shop, eat out and just hang out at home, too. Tomorrow we are going to a friend’s house for a socially distanced get together with a group who knows me in boy-mode and also as Carrie.
I also do a lot on my own, grocery shop, Costco run and volunteer for Out Boulder, our local LGBTQ center. I do speaking engagements with others from the LGBTQ community and also volunteer on committees. My goal is to help others not have to live 59 years denying who they are!
Tammy,
So very lucky. It’s fantastic that your wife enjoys you so much. What a beautiful experience. You must love the freedom your wife affords you. You go girl.
Hugs,
Kathy
