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I have been living this forced life for good 44 years. Being Mona is only a fraction of it and it distresses me every day I open my wardrobe and get ready for work. I see all those beautiful dresses hanging in there but I force myself to go for that boring work suit and get ready for work. Then I open my shoe rack and am so tempted to put on those sexy high heel pumps or sandals. Again I restrict myself to those boring black men shoes. Just to reconcile with myself, I would put on a pair of sexy Stockings and Lace Panties underneath that keeps me going through the day.
I get to work, dressed in the drab look "they" call power suits then get busy with the emails and meetings. Then I lift my head in my office and fire up my browser, all my favorites have one common theme "Make up, Shopping, Fashion and women." I browse for any new dresses available on my favorite online store or on tips on how to apply makeup. It would refresh me before I am alerted by my secretary about the next meeting. I eventually finish the better part of the day to get back home and spend the remainder of the day with my family.
It would be like that until I would break this routine and take a day off to be myself. The evening prior, I would shower, scrub my body, shave my legs, underarms, arms and get rid of whatever little hairs I have remaining on my body. I would take out the nail color I have in mind and paint my toes to perfection. I would get a nice body lotion and shave any stubble I may have grown during my sleep. I would take out the best or the latest lingerie and put on the heels, apply basic makeup, and roam around the house such to enjoy my reflection in various mirrors around the house. I would put on the dress I have chosen for the day and finish my makeup with all the accessories. For me make up is like painting a canvas. After that, I would get back to my living room and remove all curtains, ready my camera and start shooting. I would take pictures, then while sipping some nice sparkling wine, I would touch up the photos. After lunch it would be time to say good bye to Monika as the kids would he home soon. Dress goes off first, makeup second, and last to go would be the lingerie and shoes. I would hate to revert back in my male mode but those few hours of pure bliss being Mona are so important to me, and I enjoyed every minute of it.
Is this the routine I want to live for the rest of my life? No. I want to be able to chose any clothing when I get ready for work, be it that beautiful dress with nice soft and silky materials or maybe the regular suit for a change. When I open my shoe drawer, I want to chose those sexy heeled shoes before I touch up my makeup and spray that lovely Chanel perfume.
I dream of having my own fashion clothing store that has beautiful dresses, lingerie and shoes for sale. It would be a place where everyone is welcome to try things on, take photos, and buy if they like what they see. No one would be asked "Is it for your wife or girlfriend?" At my store the staff dresses in their best and favorite outfit without judgment. I would be sitting pretty in my back office, making rounds of the store to interact with customers to check if they love what they see. Later, I would go to the bar in the wearing a nice dress and sip nice wine and have my dinner, chat with friends, and then retire in silky soft satin nightie or Pajamas.
Do I deserve such a life? Yes I do. Can I have it? Maybe. And then I go back to work, hoping and wishing I will be able to live it one day... Some day.
Mona-what a glorious life that would be! I am working my way toward dressing more often that NOT dressing and who knows-maybe toward living full time as female! If you ever have that store, call me if you need employees!
Cyn
It would be an absolute pleasure to work together. Our kind of people need more of our kind of people getting into entrepreneurship to offer more opportunities for people like us. 🙂
You look gorgeous girl. Maybe you would qualify as a model too.. 🙂
I'm a firm believer in the theory that if you work hard enough, you can have what you dream of. Don't stop dreaming about your store. You can make your dream come true, all it takes is planning, dedication, and persistence.
Where I live, it seems highly unlikely in this lifetime... so unless I move out to some place friendlier, I do not see myself achieving this dream despite the resources I have to make it real.
awesome Monica, you're gorgeous
Monica, your article says what I feel right now. I just bought a new pair of cute & sexy wedge heels-just in time for summer. I wish I could have worn them out of the store, but I lied and said they were for my wife. I was dressed as my male self, but Danielle was crying in the corner. I would LOVE to put on a sun dress or a crop top blouse and capris, then slip on my new shoes and join my wife clothes shopping. She's somewhat open minded about my alter ego, but I'm spoon feeding her a little at a time. I hope your dreams come true. You are an inspiration.
Thanks Danielle. Depending on the sales staff, I chose to say if the item is for me or my wife. I was recently buying Lingerie and the sweet girl told me that there is a promotion and I could buy 4 for the price of two. I was tempted. While selecting the colors/styles/Sizes, I mentioned, I have this and I like this... she gave me a smile and she became more enthusiastic to show me more stuff.
At one stage I even asked her if I could try or get a fitting... and she told me helplessly that it is not allowed and she may lose her job if she tries doing that favor. She measured me tentatively and advised on the size and It came to be great fitting bras.
On other occasions, if the sales staff is little less friendly, I would simply ask them to give me a specific size and style/color.
Great Monica! You look so great girl. I have the same situation sweetie. All I want to do is put on my garter belt, stockings and panties. Then a real pretty summer dress with cute black patent flats. That would make me so happy. Love you Monica!
We seen like the same type of girl. When I'm not dressing I'm dreaming of doing so. I love polishing my nails, doing my makeup and wearing beautiful dresses and heels. I am a woman!
We all are women and we all are so pretty feeling so. Love to hear from you Janet.
Hi mona you are lucky you get dressed openly and people adore you but where as in india it is not possible to dressed up in your known people
I am Indian and I do not mix up with friends/family as Mona... this is a No-No. I only dress up when I am in Foreign land and where I am not worried about being spotted/identified or harassed.
I read this and I've thought a lot about it. I just wanted to say I'd come work for you. I'd love it. I don't know if I could work as Danielle though, I'm not sure I'm there yet. But I could be your Monte(or Randy if you prefer, but I'm southern so I like Monte better). I do have quite the dapper male wardrobe that could put Monte to a challenge.
But, if I ever felt I could make the move to Dani, that wardrobe reflects the same style, it's conservative, yet fun, colorful, and stylish. I think either way I'd be perfect for helping girls of all size ranges find the right fitting and style items for them. It'd be fun.
The real soul of such a place would be "be yourself"... if you prefer Monte/Dani/Danielle doesn't matter as long as you like it. You could be Dani one day and Monte the other...
I've worn stockings and pantyhose since I was 4. Walking around the house and looking at my legs in the mirror was something I did often.
At 13 I began buying my own pantyhose, because I knew I liked tan sheer to waist best and wanted to wear them all the time.
At 17 at the urging of an ex girlfriend, I shaved my legs and wore pantyhose out openly with shorts. It was scary but no one seemed to notice. I wanted to show off more of my legs so I began buying and wearing women's shorts.
One day while wearing my short shorts and pantyhose I was waiting on a cashier line buying more pantyhose. A girl behind me noticed what I was wearing and buying. She asked me if I wore any other female clothing items. I didn't.
She bought some lingerie and other feminine items for me to try. They were OK and she seemed to like it when I wore them. Then she thought I should dress as a girl for a Halloween party. it sounded like a crazy idea but she talked me into it.
I loved it. It was so much fun and such a rush way beyond anything I could have hoped for or expected. That began my cross dressing life. I bought a lot more clothes and wore them everyday around the house. I was even fortunate enough to have met other dressers at the Halloween party and they invited me to attend their parties.
I'd work on my wardrobe and look at home and wore my sexiest and best look to those parties.
Now today, pantyhose, heels, dress and wig is my everyday attire at home. I just love dressing up and still look forward to those times when I dress and go out.
Monika sweet you look very pretty love your top and skirt and love your hair girl look nice love the picture
That would be a great place to shop I love your idea of being able to buy and try on pretty dresses that are made for us. I hope your dream comes true and I would love to be a customer
If you ever open your store would gladly both shop and work there. I could do anything from salesfloor to alterations and custom design (yes I sew some of my own clothes). Working and living as a woman would be fantastic.
I often underdress at work and commute en femme, changing at arrival. On the odd day I am to be alone at the office I will sometimes stay dressed for the entire day, also going out for lunch.
Monkia, how do I go about to apply for a sales girl position?
I so identify with this! I want to put on my wife’s blouses and skirts, not the “professional dress” of shirt and slacks and tie. I so want to look pretty and, quite honestly, desirable. Great article!
