The Summons - With ...
 
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The Summons - With A Twist!

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Posts: 429
Managing Ambassador
Topic starter
(@dawnwyvern)
Reputable Member     by the sea side, Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 6 years ago
wpf-cross-image

I was summoned to the Managers office this week ... and asked to shut the door ... Gulp!

My mind was in turmoil as to what I had done wrong, was I being moved to another platform, had there been a complaint about my care, ... all this flashed through my mind in a nanosecond as I slipped in to the office … my anxiety crept up another notch when I was asked to sit down and pull the chair up to the side of the desk …

As you may know, I work on an offshore oil production platform in the North Sea as a nurse (platform medic) and have been on this particular platform for over 13 years. We have recently had a change in the platform management team, with a new platform manager joining the company and assigned to the work with us.

I have been out and proud on the platform since I arrived here and tend to take my Transgender status for granted, it's just ‘normal’ for me and I get on well with the platform core crew as well as the vendors and visitors.

 

However, even though I am out and everyone knows I am Transgender, I tend to dress in a somewhat androgynous style with unisex green overalls and pastel coloured tee shirts, along with my dyed shoulder long red hair and thin shaped eyebrows; so I’m not exactly a shrinking violet then! Heels and skirts are just not done on an oil platform and not appropriate for my situation.

Back to the office … my anxiety and paranoia were working overtime and I was sitting rather uncomfortably on the edge of the chair waiting for whatever came next…The new manger was a large, macho, rugby fan who had a commanding aura about him that encouraged you not to question his decisions.

‘I understand that you are Transgender’ he says … with me taking a breath worrying what is coming next …  ‘…and would like to know how you would prefer to be addressed …’ asked my manager… He continued with ‘I have never worked with someone who is openly Transgender before and know very little about it … so I don’t want to upset you in any way.’

Needless to say the wind was knocked out of my sails and I took a few seconds to recover my composure and explain my relaxed tolerance to how I was addressed as I presented mostly male due to my name being that on my contract etc.. with a strong feminine lean.

 

I was asked how I balanced my life between male and female time, about my partner and how they dealt with things, and my own preferences and how that fitted in with my work and leisure time.

What followed was a 15 minute discussion about how he perceived my conduct to be extemporary and professional, giving declarations of full support from the manager in however I wished to present myself.

He used words like ‘pioneer’, ‘ground-breaking’ ‘complete person’ and ‘role model’, complementing me on my work ethics and my managing the balance of being transgender and professional in my conduct on the platform, which he sees as one of the most macho work areas possible, where very few Transgender people work. I was told to let him know if I had any issues with transphobic comments or bullying as he would not tolerate these in any form.

Happily, I was able to explain that I had phenomenal support from the core crew team who often defended me when new people made uneducated comments about my gender status, and that they were all comfortable enough around me to have some light hearted banter without meaning anything detrimental.

So, what was perceived as a potentially worrying interview by my paranoia, turned into an amazing offer of support in all areas of my work and private life, and a request for more information on the subject, to help him give better informed support in the future.

I was a little emotional after and had to take a minute to absorb what had just happened and reflect on the issues I had in the past where I was subject to a ‘constructive’ removal from a post due to an unsupportive (transphobic) manager, and how I was being offered support without asking or prompted.

This event just goes to show that you never know where support will come from, or when, or how. It was an amazing but humbling boost to my personal and professional life from a source that I had least expected, in an area not known for its sensitivity but truly welcomed.

 

I hope this gives some hope for others who are not in such a good position as myself, and shows that there are great managers out there and you never know where support may come from when you need it most .

Thanks for taking time to read my article and please feel free to take the time respond to any questions I've noted below.

Sincerely, Dawn

Have you ever had an uncomfortable situation at work because of you being transgender?

Have you ever been in an area as a transgender or open cross dresser and been accepted where you least expected to be accepted?

Have you been accepted by anyone who you least expected to accept you as being transgender such as what happened to me in this article?

 

 

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26 Replies
Posts: 1040
(@scarlett398)
    Pensacola, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Girls, I love this article of Dawn's. For all you trans girls and cross dressing girls out there. You'll never know were you'll get the strongest support from and most of it may come from people outside your immediate or extended families!

I want to encourage as many of you girls who read this article to respond to Dawn's message and Dawn's questions.

We both thank each and everyone of you for taking the time to read this important article and message Dawn is driving home in her writing.

Thanks a bunch, girls and we hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

XOXOXO Scarlett

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2 Replies
Ambassador
(@leonara)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     Long Island,, New York, United States of America
Posts: 1273

Thank you Scarlett
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and all the lovely ladies here at CDH..
Hugs....Leonara

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(@scarlett398)
Joined: 6 years ago

    Pensacola, Florida, United States of America
Posts: 1040

Thank you Leonara! You're always so sweet to me!
Merry Christmas and Happy Safe Holidays!

Love ya! XOXOX Scarlett

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Posts: 433
Duchess
(@terrim)
Reputable Member     Long Island , New York, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

First of all I want to thank you Dawn so much for writing this article. I actually had tears in my eyes reading it. It really showed how much things have changed. I am so happy for you. There will always be people who will never accept the TG community. But more and more people are accepting us. Its not perfect but what is ? Thank you again
Yours Terri

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1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@dawnwyvern)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     by the sea side, Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 429

Thankyou Terri ! Yes things have changed and I feel have made some progress in acceptance but there is still some way to go !
If the ruffly tufty offshore workers can accept and support me - then there is hope for us all !
hugs Dawn x

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Posts: 7
Guest
(@Donna James)
Active Member
Joined: 6 years ago

Great article Dawn. Wonderful to hear how in a very male dominated and full of banter environment you have been able to thrive happily. An inspiration to us all. Keep enjoying.

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1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@dawnwyvern)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     by the sea side, Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 429

Many thanks Donna !
its the banter that keeps us sane !
hugs
Dawn x

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Posts: 7
Guest
(@Donna James)
Active Member
Joined: 6 years ago

great post Dawn and to have such support and understanding in macho environment is amazing.

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1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@dawnwyvern)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     by the sea side, Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 429

Many thanks Giselle, just goes to show that you must never judge a book by its cover !

hugs Dawn
x

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Posts: 1273
Ambassador
(@leonara)
Noble Member     Long Island,, New York, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

Dawn
Such a great article and thank you for sharing..
I sensed your anxiety being "summoned" to the
manager's office and yet I felt too your sense of relief
In support of all areas of your life..again thank for your inspirational article
Happy Holidays and healthy new year,
Hugs....Leonara

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1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@dawnwyvern)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     by the sea side, Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 429

it was a tough day that day, but ever cloud has a silver lining
many thanks for your comment

hugs
Dawn x

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Posts: 53
Lady
(@mad4fur)
Trusted Member     Charleston , South Carolina, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

What a wonderful thing to happen. And, how empathetic is that manager to want to be educated on how to make Dawn’s workplace environment more inclusive. Such a great thing!

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1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@dawnwyvern)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     by the sea side, Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 429

I am lucky that all the managers on the platform are good people and not the old style bully type that you could get a few years ago.
many thanks for you comment
hugs
Dawn
x

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Posts: 24
Lady
(@nat)
Eminent Member     Virginia, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

That's amazing Dawn 🙂

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1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@dawnwyvern)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     by the sea side, Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 429

many thanks
hugs
Dawn x

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Posts: 2171
Ambassador
(@skippy1965)
Famed Member     Richmond, Virginia, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

Great article Dawn. I think your experiences-both the earlier slightly negative one, and this recent very positive one-are illustrative of the slow steady move toward acceptance of the community. While a corporation may espouse their diversity and acceptance, it remains to the local, immediate management and coworkers that determine how our community is treated. The best we can do is what you have done- do our jobs professionally and to the best of our ability and not be ashamed of who we are.
Thanks for sharing this story.
Cyn

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1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@dawnwyvern)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     by the sea side, Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 429

Many thanks Cynthia, I like to think that we are all pathfinders for the next generation so we need to set a positive image for the others who will follow to be judged by.
many thanks for your lovely comment
Dawn
x

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Posts: 7
Guest
(@Donna James)
Active Member
Joined: 6 years ago

WoW---you are very very Lucky---Most of us would be unemployed within a week (they would Find another reason)-

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1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@dawnwyvern)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     by the sea side, Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 429

it has been known and I was one of those who was ‘bumped’ off a pervious job when I had a transphobic and homophobic manager, that was why I was so worried this time ... however you can never tell what is around the next corner !
hugs
Dawn x

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Posts: 45
Hostess
(@sophieunderhill)
Trusted Member     Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 6 years ago

What a fabulous account Dawn. I'm so pleased. It gives real hope for the future.
Sophie

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1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@dawnwyvern)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     by the sea side, Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 429

onward and upward !! teehee

hugs
Dawn
x

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Posts: 1064
Lady
(@trailgirl)
Noble Member     Missouri, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

Thank you for bringing your article to my attention, Dawn. I can definitely see many similarities between us in regards to our work environment. There are several things that you mentioned that I will keep in mind as I continue my own path.

Hugs,
Mika

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1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@dawnwyvern)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     by the sea side, Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 429

Thank you Mika for your lovely comments - nice that we have some similarities !
Hugs
Dawn

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Posts: 543
Lady
(@gwyneths)
Honorable Member     Pittman Center, Tennessee, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

I'm just finding this article Dawn. It is wonderful. I worked as a machinist in a shop full of hairy legged men with bad breath. I was just coming into my CD journey a few years before retiring. I can't imagine what it would have been like to be as brave as you. There was one transgurl working in our shop in my last couple of years. She was fired, but it seemed to be over her quality issues. You never know.

You are a pioneer.

Gwyn

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Posts: 76
Hostess
(@ellie52)
Estimable Member     Perth, Western Australia, Australia
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi Dawn
The company I work for have a VERY Inclusive policy on diversity. They even contracted in a Transgender consultant to give a 2 hour webinar where anyone could ask questions and discussed things like pronouns and other tricky things. The webinar was made available on the company intranet so people can watch it at any time. They created special email signatures to show inclusivity and pronouns with the pride flag front and centre.
I am still in the closet to my work colleagues though even as everyone else around me knows. My wife, son friends and neighbours but I cant seem to get the courage to do the last hurdle.Maybe this article will give me the confidence to go that extra mile though I am 61 years old now so Ill be retiring in a few years so maybe its easier just to stay quiet.
Thanks for such a great article I really enjoyed it.
Hugs
Ellie

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1 Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@dawnwyvern)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     by the sea side, Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 429

Hi Ellie,
many thanks for sharing this - its good to see that there are good employers in the world.
I have lectured on TG and have given web seminars on the subject, as well as helping establish national policy in the past.
We have come a long way but there is still a lot to do.
Dont feel pressured to do things that are not needed, we are all unique and have our own paths to follow. So be comfortable with who you are with the support you have around you.
hugs
Dawn x

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