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Hi girls, my name is Lena and I'm new here at Crossdresser Heaven.
I would be interested to hear about anyone's feedback or personal experience with going out for the first time while dressed as a girl.
Little background: I've cross dressed all my life but always very privately. Just this past year my life circumstances have changed in a way that gave me the freedom to pursue it more.
Well it came back in a huge way. I'm obsessed with it in a good way and having so much fun with it now! I feel compelled to take it as far as I want it to go.
I tend to be naturally introverted and just being on here is an enormous step for me. But I've made arrangements to get away labor day weekend when Lena will make her public debut.
I'm going to an area that is known as LGBTQ freindly (I felt that was necessary. I think I would have been terrified to just go to the mall or something). I think I have my look about as good as it's going to get at this point in time. My feminine presentation is atrocious but that's ok.
Im 100% positive this is a step I want to take, however, I've come to the realization that it wasn't going to happen by itself and I needed to take action. I'm also 100% sure it could eventually become something I would regret never doing.
I feel more excited than nervous. At this point I'm looking forward to my very first outing as a girl. What I want to know is if anyone has pointers about mannerisms or being in public in general while en femme. Also, what to do if I start to panic while walking out the door.
Thanks for taking the time to read my article and I'm looking for as many suggestions and as much help as you girls can possibly provide in assisting me with being able to handle my very first public appearance as a girl!
Sincerely, Lena
You should read my article on my profile page about my first Make Over and buying make up in Male Mode. It might help
Hey Lena,
Going out for the first time is a big step. It's fun, but also scary. In my opinion, the most important thing is confidence. If you want to convince everyone you look natural, normal, and beautiful, then you have to convince yourself first. Or at least, you have to act like that's how you feel. That's the biggest thing. When you look at anyone who everyone thinks is attractive, 99% of the time it's because they are confident. Be bold and be who you are. Everyone here thinks about cross dressing a bit differently, but whatever it means for you, be confident in that. Be bold! There's a saying I've always like, "Faint hearth never won fair maiden." Well, for us in this context, "Faint heart never was fair maiden."
I think a second key to success, is posture. A confident woman carries herself in a particular way and you have to emulate that. For many of us, our shoulders "give us away" so that's something you need to pay particular attention to. I find if I hold my shoulders back, but also down just a bit, it creates a much more feminine profile. Hold your head a little bit higher and straighter. You want to "stick your neck out" but you want to go up, rather that forward. Be tall and never slouch. I like to wear pencil skirts and they seem to help with this. A good corset can also "stretch you up" a bit. Sometimes we are tempted to minimize our height but if you're a tall person, it's better to just accept being a tall woman than trying to make yourself look smaller.
When you meet a person, say when walking towards a person in a hallway or on a sidewalk, what you do with your eyes is also important. Men will often look directly at a person. Women will sometimes look down at the ground, but that's usually a sign of submission or fear. If you want to talk to the person, look straight at them. If you don't want to talk to that person, keep your eyes at eye level but look off to the side. I often do this crossing the street when I'm worried that my face will "give me away." I'll look away from the cars that have stopped for me as I cross the street (obviously make sure they've stopped before you do this!).
I guess the bottom line, is be confident and stand tall. If you act like you're normal, then everyone else is much more likely to play along, whatever they "figure out" or think. When I first began dressing up, I was worried about people seeing through me. When I finally decided to stop worrying about that, it became much easier. If people think I'm an unusually tall woman, great. If people think I'm a man wearing women's clothing, that's fine too. For me, once I accepted that, it was much more fun to go out. Dress classy and find styles that work for you and you'll be great.
Hello angels
A lot has happened since I wrote that and I thought an update was in order. Initially I think I had meant it as a quick forum post to get some input prior to the big event but I posted it wrong. Sorry, like I said I'm new here.
The article was in publishing limbo for a while and my trip came and went. It's sort of interesting now to compare my feelings before and after.
Now that it's over I'll say that I spent that weekend in Wilton Manors FL. If you know anything about that place you know that they have probably seen it all down there. I think I the location correctly because I did not feel self conscious about standing out which was important to me.
At 6'2 before the heels I know I'm not fooling anyone, but passing is not my goal. My only goal is to have fun and I did that correctly too.
I did have a few butterflies before going out the first night. I powered through it and for the rest of the weekend whenever I felt weird or nervous I just pretended as though this was something I did all the time and it was no big deal.
I got over the initial jitters quickly and soon as I was outside it was thrilling. The wind on my stockings and through my skirt absolutely made me weak in the knees. The feel of the open spaces and mixing with the public on the street was intoxicating.
My first stop was a martini bar and right off the bat I had the highlight of the whole trip. A GG followed me in off the street saying she was making her friends wait because she wanted to come in and meet me and tell me I looked beautiful. I'm not even sure what I said because I was completely stunned.
The whole weekend was a wild adventure and maybe I'll write about it but for now I don't want to ramble any further. I'll just say it was everything I hoped for and that the things I was concerned about such as the walk and mannerisms seemed to click effortlessly for the most part.
If any of the CDH sisters are in a situation where they may be on the fence about something similar I'll say that taking that leap did wonders for my confidence level. And in the end we regret the missed opportunities more than the mistakes.
All my love
Lena
So so awesome! Doesn't it feel awesome!?!
Especially when a GG appreciates it!
I'm 5'11" and understand that challenge sweetie. I'm often in kitten or lower heels instead of stilettos. I'll take what I can get when I can get it.
So so awesome! Doesn't it feel awesome!?!
Especially when a GG appreciates it!
I'm 5'11" and understand that challenge sweetie. I'm often in kitten or lower heels instead of stilettos. I'll take what I can get when I can get it.
Congrats!
Going out is fantastic isn't it? I bet that's your default now. It sure is mine....
Congrats!
Going out is fantastic isn't it? I bet that's your default now. It sure is mine....
Well dang Lena, had I known I could have been a wing gal for you. I'm in Ft. Lauderdale. Been out in Wilton Manors many times, never an issue but plenty of "oh I love your dress honey"
Definitely the perfect area for a first time out. Hope you had fun.
Hugs......
Well dang Lena, had I known I could have been a wing gal for you. I'm in Ft. Lauderdale. Been out in Wilton Manors many times, never an issue but plenty of "oh I love your dress honey"
Definitely the perfect area for a first time out. Hope you had fun.
Hugs......
Wow, Lena it sounds like it was about the best success possible! You shouldn't be so self-depreciating - I think you are just the cutest thing! All your pictures have that beautiful smile that shows you are loving yourself and who you are!
Love it !!!
Brielle
Wil-Ma by chance? IF so I was there myself very recently
oops....I read that now in other comments......Congrats, that is a great area.
oops....I read that now in other comments......Congrats, that is a great area.
Wil-Ma by chance? IF so I was there myself very recently
Wow sounds like a great adventure
Wow sounds like a great adventure
My wife and I went out last week. I dressed up did my makeup the best I could to look feminine. Must have did better than I thought because I got complements from different people. My wife said one guy was flirting with me even.all in all it was a fun time. I will be doing it again soon.
Christine
My wife and I went out last week. I dressed up did my makeup the best I could to look feminine. Must have did better than I thought because I got complements from different people. My wife said one guy was flirting with me even.all in all it was a fun time. I will be doing it again soon.
Christine
Lena, I went out for the first time last Wednesday, it went well. At 58, it has taken a while to get to this point. A GG friend was very helpful and provided moral support.
What finally gave me the confidence to go out, was, at 6’8”, I tend to stand out, even in flats. I came up with this thought that really helped. When someone notices me I hope they think the following:
Oh, that’s a guy! Damn! He looks good!
I dressed appropriately, and resisted the temptation to over dress. Tried to maintain good posture, and walked with confidence. No eye contact except with those that with which it was required. Did not look around to see if anyone was starring.
I had dinner with the local t girl group in Portland, then went to another establishment for a nightcap. Woke up the next morning, and the world was still turning.
Lena, I went out for the first time last Wednesday, it went well. At 58, it has taken a while to get to this point. A GG friend was very helpful and provided moral support.
What finally gave me the confidence to go out, was, at 6’8”, I tend to stand out, even in flats. I came up with this thought that really helped. When someone notices me I hope they think the following:
Oh, that’s a guy! Damn! He looks good!
I dressed appropriately, and resisted the temptation to over dress. Tried to maintain good posture, and walked with confidence. No eye contact except with those that with which it was required. Did not look around to see if anyone was starring.
I had dinner with the local t girl group in Portland, then went to another establishment for a nightcap. Woke up the next morning, and the world was still turning.
For me, it was weird..My first time out was at a restuarant event with over 20 other gals..I was dressed in casual clothes.IE. blouse. jeans. black leather jacket and 4" heels..I should have been scared to death walking alone from the parking lot into the event, but instead, I felt confident and naturally dressed. It was a great time and a start of more events. I really don't think others care about seeing us out and about anymore...I hope you enjoy the same experience..
Gina
For me, it was weird..My first time out was at a restuarant event with over 20 other gals..I was dressed in casual clothes.IE. blouse. jeans. black leather jacket and 4" heels..I should have been scared to death walking alone from the parking lot into the event, but instead, I felt confident and naturally dressed. It was a great time and a start of more events. I really don't think others care about seeing us out and about anymore...I hope you enjoy the same experience..
Gina
