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We Looked Alike!
Hi Girls!
I love to keep a journal and I especially like writing about my cross dressing propensities and my alternate desire to dress in an androgynous way whenever possible. Androgynous, for those of you who are not familiar with the term, is an adjective to describe my way of dressing that could be considered not to be distinguishable as to a particular sex – either male or female in appearance. I may dress in women’s clothing and styles but not those which are exclusively feminine.
I’m going to share with you an interesting story I wrote in an old journal of mine back in 2012. After I tell you this story I have often thought about over the years, I want to share a fantasy of mine with you I’ve had for many years. I believe, from chatting with you girls on line and reading some of your articles, most you who are married or have a significant other probably share the very same fantasy with me as well! So please stay tuned throughout this entire article and then please feel free to share your thoughts with me!
The former 2012 journal entry I recently discovered regarding my story reads like this:
This morning I had one of those wished for or dreamed about experiences happen to me during one of my many trips to Walmart. I was in the produce department stocking up on fresh fruit for our daily, only fruit before noon, diet regimen my wife and I started months ago. When I looked up for just a second, I noticed this gorgeous young Hispanic woman not standing not far from me in full view who looked to be in her late twenties. Her face was gorgeous and her makeup was absolutely flawless! She was a full-figured girl but had all the curves in the right places. She had nice full breasts and a shapely rear end that filled out her jeans perfectly. I noticed from the neck down We Looked Alike!
I could hardly believe my eyes, but we were wearing the almost identical outfit! She was wearing low-rise boot-cut jeans with flapped pockets in back – I was wearing the same jeans! We were both wearing a leopard print top, however, the one she was wearing had a plunging neck line and mine did not. She had on a wide jewel embellished belt with a large jeweled buckle just below her sexy alluring slightly bared midriff – I had on almost the same belt with just a bit smaller buckle and my buckle was off towards the side of my jeans to make my hips look wider. From her ear lobes hung these three-inch diamond hoop earrings – Mine were the same but just a tiny bit smaller in size. She was wearing a pair of four-inch heeled tan leather wedge sandals and so was I. The color of the leather sandals matched the color of the leather in the belt. I had on the same sandals as well. The only difference was the fact hers were decorated with faux diamonds from the arch across the instep of wedges and mine were not. From the neck down, we looked alike in many ways with our common attire. The outfit just looked so much better on her because of those curves she had compared to mine!
Just as I finished admiring her hair, face, shape, and sharp sense of style from top to bottom, she quickly looked over at me! Neither of us reacted, however, I could tell she noticed the close similarity of our outfits. Why do I think she noticed how similar our outfits were and had no reaction? I’m not quite sure. Maybe it was because she knew I was a man wearing the same outfit she was wearing and just didn’t want to strike up a conversation with me. She might have had somewhat of an awkward feeling but didn’t want me to feel the same way by giving me somewhat of an awkward look or reaction. She just simply moved on and went about her business in the produce department before moving on to another isle in the store. I did know in my mind someone as beautiful as she was and dressed in a sexy outfit like that had significant other plans later that evening! She didn’t put herself together like that for a simple trip to Walmart!
I was truly amazed by seeing her in the almost identical outfit I had selected to put together! I hoped that one day we would see each other again and possibly be able to strike up a conversation about whether she noticed how similar the outfits we were wearing the last time we saw each other in Walmart. I would hope she would speak to me first, however, I would someway feel a need to casually bring it up and see if we could possibly start a conversation regarding women’s clothing, footwear, accessories, and whatever else came up in the conversation. We could actually be like girl friends for just a short while! If I could tell she was uncomfortable talking to me about those things, I would respect her privacy, tell her to have a wonderful day, and then politely go our separate ways.
These days I am very aware of how my cross dressing has defined itself in a far different context than many others who cross dress. While I do enjoy dressing completely in women’s clothing with a wig and jewelry, I do not currently wear makeup and do not see myself ever being seen in public as totally passable in anyway as a woman. I often wear women’s clothing items that alter my look but do not in any way conceal my masculinity. When I am out in public wearing this type clothing, people are not oblivious to this predominantly feminine presentation.
When out in public, I do catch some stares from both men and women. Comments come infrequently, however, I am accepted in public more now than in the far past. Times are changing and people seem to be ever more accepting of cross dressers and anyone from the LGTBQ community these days. The comments I receive are often indicative of certain perspectives and biases. However, believe it or not, most of the comments from both women and men are surprisingly rather complimentary! Some women who have complimented me on my selection of women’s attire may say something like: “those are nice jeans” or “I love your belt, where did you find one like that?” or “I love those shoes” or “I really like that jacket you’re wearing”. Some men may give me a rather awkward stare or be nice and say something like “I like those heels you’re wearing, I need to get my wife a pair like that” or “those slim boot-cut jeans look nice on you”.
I will always love wearing women’s clothing. I also enjoy wearing shape wear for women. Garments that slenderize my waist and accentuate my hips. I also feel comfortable in all sorts of women’s footwear and I feel like walking in women’s footwear is actually very good for my posture and fitness. If society were just a bit more relaxed, I would dress completely and openly as a woman every single day. I think I have a rather keen sense of style that’s not only pleasing to me, but I hope pleasing to others as well.
And now on to my fantasy I mentioned in the opening of this article. And as a mentioned, based on my readings here and other places, you might share the same fantasy as well with your loving wife or significant other!
I am happily married to my beautiful wife Joanne. She is much smaller in stature than the mystery women I saw that day in Walmart. However, she’s just as curvy as that girl was and would look fabulous in the same outfit that beautiful lady was wearing in Walmart. However, Joanne is a bit more conservative in her dress than the mystery woman was. But if Joanne put on that same outfit, she would be a total knockout and I would love to see her in an outfit like the one I saw on the mystery lady that day in Walmart.
Even though my wife would probably feel a bit awkward in such a revealing outfit, my fantasy would be for both my wife and I to wear that very same outfit while going out on a date together one night. I could see us going to dinner and then out shopping together while enjoying each other's company and outfits. At the conclusion of our date we would return home and make passionate love to one another while working around our clothing to end such a wonderful evening together while We Looked Alike!
Thank you so very much for reading my article. Now share with me if you have had that very same fantasy with your wife or significant other! And what outfit would you choose for the two of you to wear out on your special date that night?
Great article! Thanks for sharing. I also dress in women’s clothes every day. I am fortunate to be able to wear jeans and sneakers to work, both of which are always from the ladies department of the store. As you say, most people don’t give a second look, and others don’t know the difference. I have also for the last couple years, been wearing light makeup everyday. My coworker noticed some time ago which opened the door for me to tell her about me. Shortly afterwards, she brought me a bag of clothes she didn’t wear anymore to see if there was anything I would like to have. My favorite American Eagle jeans are hand me downs from her! She also gave a lovely Victoria’s Secret perfume for Christmas, that I wear almost daily.
I can only dream of being able to go out dressed with my wife. She has a strict don’t ask don’t tell policy when it comes to my cross dressing. She know, but doesn’t approve.
Thanks again!
Ah yes that is a good fantasy, one of my favorites. Nice article, I am about a month in on CDH and have stuck mainly to the general discussion forum and decided I need to branch out on the site a little more. I'm glad I did. So, anyway, I may stumble through this as I've never typed it up or thought about it in great detail before, but my version of my wife and I dressed alike would be more on the lines of getting dolled up to go to a play and wine bar or upscale bar type of place afterwards. Thinking about it now, I can't decide if getting ready together is preferable, or if something more akin to our wedding day where we get ready seperately is preferable. In the latter scenario we would meet privately after we finished getting ready and arrive to said destinations together. I think at least for me, seeing her dressed to the nines and madeup has always elicited a reaction from me so her reciprocating that reaction while me being dressed enfemme would be a an interesting experience. Then again there would be the obvious fun of getting ready together, but I digress, (I did mention I may stumble through this right). I think we would both be wearing our LBD's, something in the fit to flare or wrap dress category that hits just above the knee on me, maybe a little higher for her, it would suit both our body types and fashion styles well. I think the sleeves would be a maximum 3/4 length (I also wear shapewear....only a lot of shapewear) although I would do sleeveless with a 3/4 sleeve length cardigan or wrap probalby burgandy or red. Although it really isn't either of our styles a sleeveless, Low cut front, backless, tighter on the body, and hitting at the mid thigh would be fun since, you know, if I'm going full on crazy fantasy here. One thing that would be free game would be what's underneath the dress in the bra, panty, and or garter belt style and category just to keep things a little different. Of course black sheer pantyhose, or black stockings would be the same. maybe one a shade different then the other. Black 4-inch stilletos probably closed toe pumps, or perhaps burgandy for a little color. If open toe shoe, the hosiery would have to change to either a nude color or opaque black. Toes and nails woud both be polished a deep wine red. Neckless would be either all silver in whatever style manifestation, or if burgandy heels, something silver with a hint of burgandy or even a hint of straight red may work. Some dangly silver sparkly earings, and the same in the bracely category, or a diamond bracelet or somthing of the like. I would have to have something at the waist to define it so if it where the fit to flare styie dress a thin belt would be in order or it would have to ties or something. if a belt, Burgandy with black or burgandy shoes I think, then the jewelry would stay the same. On the way out the door, we grab our trench coats that hit at about the knee. I think we would have to vary our colors, one of us in black, and the other in red or burgandy color maybe? I don't know not sure on the other color, maybe some type of pattern or somthing. So anyway after we excitedly greet each other marveling at how great the other looks, we lock arms and strut out the door. Maybe she drops her head on my shoulder briefly as we get to the car and part to enter our seperate sides, ready to add another layer to our emotional intamacy. Hey again, thanks for the article it was fun attempting to put some detail in my version of that fantasy. Sorry it got kind it got so long, I tend to do that. I'll say if rewrote this tomorrow or in a hour it probably be entirely different, lol.
I enjoyed your fantasy. I actually wrote something similar years ago about my wife and I going to the opera together. I like the plan to dress separately because I’d like to deal with the foundation garments alone - not the time for input. I think if you can achieve the shape and cover it with an attractive dress, it will have more impact. I think I’d suggest a particular style or level, go at it separately, and see how it comes together when you meet. She might be complimented by your look if she knows that a lot of what you’ve developed you learned by watching her. My only caveat in this regard is that JoAnn has never been comfortable in heels and thus seldom wears them. I love heels - the higher and narrower the better - and thus am very good at maneuvering. But, I would compromise and tone-down the heels if she’d be more comfortable. That said, good luck with your fantasy. I’ll hope that it comes true.
You write well my friend.
You're a sept.
I googled that.
OMG! - I'm a Sexagenarian! Figuratively and literally (multi-layered puns intended)
Peace and happy dressing,
Kim
'blossoming CD at home, coming-of-age under-dresser at large' - Ha!
Thanks for the compliment. I get a kick out of writing about this CD propensity to the CDH crew because they get it. It kind-of defies conventional wisdom that anyone would feel compelled to don clothing that is not particular functional nor generally accepted attire. One of the big questions that goes somewhat unanswered is whether we would wear these clothing choices if they WERE generally accepted. Some believe that “taboo” is a significant part of the allure. I am not a proponent of that theory, at least regarding my own motivation. We’re I free to make feminine choices without discrimination, I believe that I would easily adapt my own low profile fashion statement. For now, the skinny jeans, heels, and tunic would be my default! I kind of do that now with some of the sandals and booties I wear.
Falecia-what a lovely story! I am fortunate enough to be able to dress at home whenever I want and to get out fairly often in full Cyn mode. I even cut the grass this past weekend in a cami, bra,forms and short shorts. The times when I can’t be in full Cyn mode, I still “stealth dress” where all the clothes I am wearing are women’s -just not always obviously so(ladies polo shirts and skinny jeans and ladies penny lovers or tennis shoes). Because my hair is my own and I always have at least stud earrings, I often get “ma’amed” even when I’m in stealth mode(which pleases me even though I often wonder about their eyesight lol-guess people see what they expect to see). Congrats on having the courage to dress how you please regardless of what others may or may not think. When your experience becomes commonplace, the world will be a better place!
Cyn
The stealth mode thing is great and I do it frequently when I’m alone. Unless I’m mistaken, quite a few young women with eclectic tastes, appreciate my choices and my courage. Many of them dress similarly. Nonetheless, I’ve been complimented by middle aged women as well. Unlike a lot of feminine clothes, skinny jeans and tunics are a very comfortable and practical clothing choice - appropriate to almost any occasion. With sandals of any sort, boots, booties or tennis/athletic shoes, it’s a great everyday style. With the jean pockets, I can even carry my phone, cards, and cash without a bag. My only impediments are two - it’s also my wife’s default and SHE feels as though I’d be seen as a CD. I’d never try to convince her otherwise, but if she were a mouse in the corner, when I’m out alone, I believe she would be surprised by the acceptance. It would have to be her idea, though, if we were going to study the issue.
More later,
FAM
It was nice, for me, to read something from another androgynous dresser. After reading many other stories here I've often thought that, oops, I don't seem to quite fit in here because I don't harbor any desire to pose as a woman. I just like to wear what I want to wear which, on most days, includes both "male" and "female" clothing. I'm not trying to look like anyone in particular, just having fun.
You mentioned your encounter at the grocery store, standing beside a woman wearing essentially the same outfit as yourself -- something I would find very amusing if/when it happens to me. You wondered what she had been thinking. I don't intend this to be mean because I apply it to myself the same as to you but I suspect she went home, took off those clothes and never wore that outfit again -- for the same reason that the used clothing stores don't sell underwear. No matter that it's been thoroughly laundered, just knowing that somebody else once wore the item is sufficient to freak most women out completely, as if the garment is haunted or tainted in some way. Silly but true. So the thought that a guy wore the same outfit probably tainted those clothes for her, if not forever, for a long, long time.
I think that's part of the reason that I like to wear women's/girl's clothes. It's such a transgression -- and yet it's perfectly legal. It's like "femaleness" is a club that can only be joined by invitation and, by wearing "their" clothes, we're crashing the party uninvited. Women can wear anything they like, whether it's designated as female or male, and no label is attached to them. But if a male wears something designated as female clothing, he's (crossdresser being the mildest label) weird or creepy, a transvestite or a drag queen.
Fortunately (for us) we're making our way into what I call "the cute zone". It's that point in a man's life where, like a toothless, arthritic lion or bear, we become "cute" again -- (I never was in the first place) -- because we're considered harmless and what was weird or creepy at a younger age becomes amusingly eccentric. As a bachelor, I struggled with the notion of throwing out all of my "female" clothing lest my relatives, when cleaning out my house after my death, learn my secret. But as I thought about it, about how I've spent a whole lifetime trying to please others, to meet others' expectations, I decided that, finally, I am simply going to please myself for whatever time I have left on earth. I may, and probably do, look silly in some of the skinny little jeans and "women's" shoes that I wear but I reserve the right to simply do as I please. Regardless of what I may look like, wearing those things makes me feel "cute" and puts a renewed spring in my step and has encouraged me to go for long daily walks and to exercise in an effort to keep from developing a big, saggy belly. So, not only does wearing my "inappropriate" clothing make me feel cute and young and vital, it's probably good for my health as well. And maybe one day I'll be in a store or riding a bus, look down and see that the gal standing next to me, or across from me, is wearing the same shoes and jeans and top and, like you, I'll wonder, did she notice and what is she thinking about what she's seen?
Paula Ray,
I know that you, like most of us, are just having fun dressing up. Note: Most of the used clothing stores that I’ve seen do sell underwear. I don’t buy it, but I think women or somebody must or they wouldn’t display it. Now that I think of it, I have bought a bra or two that were in nice shape. I don’t buy used shoes - that’s my hygiene hang up.
I’ve thought about what you said about the woman I encountered dressed similarly. I agree that many more traditionally inclined or conservative women might have been troubled, offended, or even disgusted seeing a man dressed like her. But the woman I ran into was not, I believe, one of them. I believe that she intentionally dressed to be feminine and provocative in the same way I did. I think she might have found that it added to her excitement to compare outfits. I know that some of the young women (sales clerks) I’ve encountered have enjoyed kidding me about my selections. When I buy something that resembles what I’m wearing, they know I’m not “buying it for my wife.” I’ve run into women who’ve asked me where I found a particular outfit or shoes - even belts.
I think many woman have had enough of over masculine men and kind of like the metrosexual think.
Just sayin’
FAM
Hello again,
I apologize for making an unfounded assumption in saying that used clothing stores don't sell under garments. Truth is, I've never seen any in them -- but I haven't really looked for them either. I've never known anyone who would (admit to) buy(ing) previously worn underclothes so I made a faulty assumption. (I had an aunt who couldn't imagine buying any clothing whatsoever at a used clothing store -- but I didn't like her much anyway and smiled to myself when I wore Goodwill jeans every day during a week's vacation we [my mother and I] once spent with her.)
I had always thought that I live in one of the more tolerant, "progressive" parts of the country but I have to share with you something I heard last Friday. I was just thinking about your reply to my comment and thinking that my innate cynicism probably leads me to just expect negative reactions to crossdressing, even androgynous dressing. It was time for my afternoon exercise routine and I turned on the radio (as having something to listen to seems to make the time pass faster). It was after three o'clock, a talk show that I don't usually listen to, and the first really warm, summery day we've had. The topic they opened for discussion was, "Your worst beach experience." I assumed that people would call in telling about finding dog poop in the sand, stepping on a hot cigarette butt, dead fish washed up on the beach, finding a used condom under their beach blanket, or even having witnessed a rescue or a drowning.
The two people who host the program are a middle aged man whose children are young adults and a middle aged woman with teenagers at home. Both are thoroughly steeped in political correctness and, short of Hitler or Stalin, wouldn't disparage anyone (else) for anything (else). To begin the discussion, the male host told about a trip he'd made to Germany years ago, how he'd been loaned some swim trunks by a much larger uncle and how the trunks had come off when he dived into the water, embarrassing himself and his traveling companion, the woman he was engaged to marry. (I suspect his German hosts, being Europeans, were far less scandalized by his nudity than Americans would have been.)
They then opened the phone lines and the first caller reported as her "worst beach experience" seeing an "older" man wearing a woman's swimsuit. "The top too?" the female host inquired. "No, just the bottom." "Are you sure it was a woman's swimsuit?" the host asked. "Well, it was very skimpy. And it was pink. So, yeah, it was a woman's swimsuit bottom." "O-o-o-oh, my," the host replied. "That is bad."
So, if that's the kind of response offered by someone with "progressive" bona fides, how much harsher are the judgments of the caller and others like her? It's my belief that a lot of people these days 1) lack a sense of humor and 2) are very anxious to label anyone outside their "comfort zone" (i.e, anyone they're not personally acquainted with) as potentially displeasing or dangerous. So I just don't expect to encounter much in the way of tolerance. But I wear my stretch jeans and women's shoes anyway. If I make them uncomfortable, good. And if I don't, maybe one day I'll have the same kind of experience you had. I'd like to think there are still a few people with a sense of humor and tolerance out there. I did once have a very positive experience (30 years ago) buying panties from a pretty young saleswoman in a high end department store -- which caused me to wonder if it would be possible to flirt with the saleswoman you're buying panties from? I suppressed the urge to try and just skedaddled but she was very nice. But that was 30 years ago and I was younger then. Maybe I just need to get out more. 🙂
Here’s the thing about “progressives,” I believe, many of them are just phony. If you really believe that ALL people have a right to exercise their liberty, you would then believe that a white, middle-aged man could wear a women’s bikini bottom to the beach. The progressives, again in my experience, frequently display more closed judgement toward those with whom they disagree OR those they do not perceive as the “popularly identified victims of discrimination.” As I grow older, I become more and more convinced that many (really most) people just don’t like people who think or live differently - unless acknowledged acceptance fosters their personal objectives. I believe that there are people who truly support all and any liberty that doesn’t infringe on others. But many of those people would say that ending another life is not a liberty we can or should ever be given. And . . . In today’s morality, those people would not be seen as or accepted by progressives.
FAM
Very interesting, Falecia,
I noticed that the photo with this story is very much like my daily wear: black ladies' tee and jeans - except I wear ballet flats instead of heels. The "look alike" shopping fantasy is also one of mine. We do, in fact, own matching tops and slacks (except hers are pull-ups), which we did wear once to church. Now that I'm doing makeup, the fantasy may soon come true.
Enjoyed your article very much, thank you for " unloading" the journey you' very been on these last few decades.
I am going on 74, & dressed since the late 1960s. I have never had any problems in public,& , like you, love going out to eat and shop with girlfriends of all ages.I also mentor and teach young folks to " Break Down the Front Door"! It's fun to watch the caterpillars become butterflies!
Love to chat with you...keep in touch.
Dr.T.J.
