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Hello girls! Firstly, I have to thank CDH for publishing my previous article, and of course the members who have taken the time and trouble to read it.
Now this article is about me; the 16 year old femme me, the girl called Fiona Moss.
After telling my wife about my cross dressing, I had to tell her more about me – Fiona - because after all, cross dressing is not just about wearing pretty clothes and doing make up; its also about you as a femme person. My wife was very unsure about me becoming a 16 year old girl; we had no daughters, and quite frankly had little or no experience with girls. It was hard to be Fiona with my wife being so unsure about the situation. Initially she was unwilling and uncooperative, but thankfully she is currently accepting, and things are slowly moving forward.
Ultimately, telling my wife has opened up a whole new world for me. I can now cross dress without fear of getting caught in the bedroom. I have begun experimenting with make up. I can now freely buy clothes I like, even occasionally accompanied by my wife. Strangely enough, my wife has even bought me little presents along the way, such as make up, skirts, and even a 'little miss princess' mug.
So you ask, Fiona - how did she come into being? Its complicated. If I could put it simply I would say, I was born female, and I have a very young mind and outlook.
Fiona is 16. Fi or Fee for short. She is at her final year at school, her outlook on life is to have fun and a laugh; she loves a good time and is very outgoing. She can be a little outspoken at times, but her heart is in the right place and she values her friendships very much. Being 16, she is very hormonal. Quiet one minute and downright stubborn the next! Always in trouble at school for wearing skirts that are too short! But she is clever. She wears them at knee height at home and she pulls her skirt up to her waist to shorten it at school. Clever little devil isn't she? Fiona needs a firm hand, or she will literally run amok. When in the presence of adults, Fiona is usually quiet but then will try to push the boundaries to see how much she can get away with. Typical teenager with attitude!
Now you have an insight into Fiona's psyche, but what does she like? Well for one – clothes, clothes, and more clothes! Age appropriate of course. Short, pretty skirts, lovely embroidered tights, patterned panties in pink, white or yellow, denim shorts, pretty nightwear and jumpers. She also has a full school uniform too. Fiona is blonde with blue eyes; she takes meticulous care of her hair and always smells lovely. Fiona still has not mastered the art of make up yet, but she is trying her very best.
She loves making new friends with similar outlooks and making older friends too! Very good at social media. Always on her phone, texting, WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram you name it, she has done it!
Fiona's hobbies include art, reading, watching movies, socializing (not really, but lets pretend).
Now what are Fiona's dislikes? Having her hair pulled for one. Hates fruit and vegetables, boring clothes, food shopping, creepy people, people that are aggressive and people telling her what to do! Adults talking about adult things! Well actually I don't mind really. Just remember I am only 16! And fiona can't drink alcohol too because she is underage. Ohhhh how life sucks!!
Now coming back to reality briefly - many of you will be thinking - why on earth 16? I mean you are a 48 year old man! Easy, I don't have to think; it all comes easily to me after so many years of practice. I think I prefer that age because you are halfway between being a very little girl and being an adult. For me being an adult all the time makes me want to run away, because its so darned stressful! Being 16 allows me to enter the world of childhood innocence and naivety. Plus at 16 you can still do many things an adult would do.
Will I ever get enough courage to go out in public? I think the answer would be a yes as long as certain criteria were followed. I would have to be in a cross dressing environment, preferably dressed 'drab' on the way to the venue, then getting dressed inside or maybe meeting another crossdresser at home. I think for now its just simply a fear of being seen, odd, because being seen and passing is the ultimate buzz.
Fiona is nothing like her male counterpart. They have no similar interests other than crossdressing of course! I have looked at this from a psychological viewpoint and in a sense view it very similar to the film “The Three Faces of Eve” only there are only two in this case. For my male self it is a way to escape the very stressful life of being an adult man with responsibilities; life's stresses, jobs, money and commitment, all these are forgotten when I cross dress. It takes me back to my days of innocence, learning what life is all about, making mistakes and learning from those mistakes.
Fiona strives to better herself all the time; sometimes maybe she tries too hard. She worries about what other people say, think or do. She wants to try different clothing combinations, become an expert in make up, eventually meet someone to go out together or at least form a solid friendship. She reaches out with her hands asking for love and affection and wanting to give it in return. She is a clever girl but can be very immature at times. CDH has helped Fiona to become less shy and more assertive, and has reassured her that people actually do care, and even more importantly accept. We come in all shapes and sizes, each with our own aspirations and ideas.
I thank you for your support.
Love and kisses from, Fiona
Well done Fiona...proud of you my friend.
hi veronica 🙂 . I just thought that people need an insight into why i'm me and just me in general. it can be hard to get your head around because its not just simply cross dressing. i'm so glad you approve! I just hope others do too 🙂
fiona xxx
I have grown up around women, married the girl I hated in second grade, I have a beautiful daughter, and a perpetual motion machine better known as grand-daughter. Hopefully Fi, as all of them have, will develop a depth of spirit that will allow her to enjoy her journey and grow along the way so that over time she will experience the joys of maturing and one day she will blossom into a precious young woman.
Hi Fiona, I can fully understand what you have written and congratulate you in taking the time to put all your thoughts into this post, in many ways I can relate to things you say. I love how you have explained your feelings about being 16, it all makes so much sense. I have always thought it is so good to either say or write down my thoughts, it seems to clear my mind from everyday stresses. I also like to wear short skirts, I do have a red tartan mini skirt which I bought in Primark, it could even be similar to yours !
I often wish that I was much younger, I am 76 in February and currently am going through a good experience in my cross dressing, I haven't got into make up, but maybe one day.
Thank you for posting your thoughts.
Alison XxX
Thank you Fee for letting me get to know you so much better..
Lisa 🙂
Hi Fiona.
Great article, I nave learned that age is just A number, if you think old due to your age you will be old, I am almost eighty and don't feel like it because I think young and enjoy the younger people's company and they enjoy mine. Who wants to be an old fogey not me. And when it comes to wearing my girlie clothes I want to look like A young chick not like A grandma. Life is short enjoy every minute of it.
Sarasue
Fiona Sweetie, I Thank You soo much for writing this article, I know it can be difficult to express and tell others how we really think & feel and I really Love little Fiona that much more for telling us about herself. She is an absolute sweetheart!! I did spend 3 years studying Psychology and worked at an in-patient substance abuse treatment facility after getting off of drugs myself, and feel that I have good insight into behaviors. I am not an expert but I do know something about people and your "fantasy" is totally harmless. I also think if your SO thinks with an open mind, she will understand. Don't rush her, give her all the time she needs, if she really loves you she will come to terms with it. Fiona, there is absolutely nothing wrong with pretending, kids do it all the time until they become polluted with maturity. Fantasy and Pretending not only helps us cope with our daily responsibility's, but it's also very physically healthy. It is a natural tool given to all human beings as a stress relief mechanism. I feel all adults should spend time everyday exploring their fantasy's, sexual or not. I am so sorry that I did not catch your article proceeding this one but I promise to read it now. And like you I become extremely tired of being the responsible adult in the house. Going to work everyday, (And I own the Company), paying bills, payroll, taxes and dealing with problems wears me out emotionally and psychically. In 2011 I even began the process of learning energy medicine attending two different schools, The Four Winds Society, and The Foundation for Shamanic Studies, as a stress relief tool. I thought I could help others while helping myself at the same time. I eventually obtained my degree in Shamanism and started working with all types of troubled people, but after a couple years I totally burned out. Too many problems, too much on my shoulders and it didn't pay the bills, so I stopped practicing. Looking back now I was looking for a way to relieve stress & express my femme self since I had stopped dressing. Now I am back to dressing up, I'm wearing a wig, stocking, heels and a cami as I type this. And I have literally spent a couple grand already in transitioning. Crossdressing is really a fantasy and it allows many of us an outlet to relieve stress. And since my SO knows and accepts it, I am incredibly happy and content with myself and I do not feel ashamed, hiding in a closet. I have become totally upfront with salesgirls in stores while clothes shopping, telling them my purchases are for me. Little Fiona is a form of self expression that hurts nobody whether at home or out in the great big world and personally, I plan to hit the streets dressed as soon as I can get the make up thing mastered. I can't wait. And Fiona, you have one friend here at CDH that Loves You no matter what. I will always accept and Love You with all my heart and only wish I could meet little Fiona!! Anytime you need me you know where to find me... Your Friend and Sister, Big Hugs, Brenda
awww bren, thankyou so much for your insights into my cd life. you are a very kind person. my sole worry in life, is rejection and what people may say or think. I do my upmost to please but I always have the classic worrying doubt inside me that people wont or dont approve. this post so far has eased my worries and i'm slowly moving forward, true its going to take time. thankyou so much for your very kind words!
fiona xxx
Fiona-we all walk similar but also different paths. Thanks for sharing your story. For me at 53 I feel more like late 30s early 40s in age. You write eloquently as well. Look forward to reading more from you.
Cyn
PS- my older sis said she would leave the house with longer skirt but rather than raising it to her waist as you described she would roll it up! 🙂
Fiona your story is as beautiful as you are. Hugs and kisses darling.
hi girls. I just want to personally thank you all so much for your very positive, encouraging replies so far. it was incredibly hard for me to put it into words and indeed, even build the courage up to post it. the reason is quite simple, I am honest. I like people to know where they are at with me, I dont want to pull the wool over anybodys eyes, what you see is what you get with me, however I do accept that even though I do cross dress, my lifestyle is somewhat slightly different owing to the age issue. it seems, I wrongly thought that there may be an element of negativity with my lifestyle but I am rather elated to say this is not so! I truly thank you all for your amazing words of encouragement 🙂
love and lots of hugs
fiona xxx
It is a beautiful story Fiona. I think many of us have had similar experiences, so your article is extremely valuable.
Thank you and keep strong girl.
Gisela
You living your teenage years again...Only this time as a beautiful girl who is ready to step into her world of dreams and happiness.
Hello Fiona I think you are very pretty and I wish it was me love you .
I don't know if this chimes with you, but I felt as a young boy that I simply preferred how girls interacted and thought, and that became my view wrt girls' clothes.
When I dress in a school uniform or a brownie uniform, I'm back there in a happier, simpler word, devoid of ingrained malice.
Probably a very singular and isolated viewpoint, but I hope it helps.
